A sense of impermanence

laelene Post in general blog,Tags: , , , , ,
panoramic shot of newly built condo

Hello future home.

Ever since I moved here I haven’t quite felt settled. There’s not much space for me, I barely brought along any stuff, and I didn’t know anyone other than Panda. Now I’ve got a job and (soon) a condo, so I can finally feel like this place is my home. I don’t think of myself as a Virginian yet and I don’t know how long it will take, but if I stay long enough it’s bound to happen. Going back to LA for Thanksgiving was a chance for me to bring over more things and the upcoming move to the condo is a chance for me to claim some space of my own. I’m looking forward to making 2014 the year in which I get to embrace life out here.

For now, I still feel like an outsider. Everything is an adjustment – I’m not used to the weather, the change of pace in lifestyle, even the people… at times I wish I could just retreat back to my parents’ home in LA, lounge around, and not have to worry about being all grown up. So much seems so out of place in my life right now. It’s a feeling I can’t quite put my finger on – a little bit of melancholy, a little bit of confusion, a little bit of yearning. I’ve dived into songs to try to express feelings I can’t place, but I think I just need to write about it. I’ve pondered putting together a fictional story to try to capture my thoughts and funny enough, my best friend recently reached out to me about her own writing. Perhaps reading her stories will help me collect my ideas for mine.

It’ll be nice when I have the move to focus on, so I can shift my efforts to building my new life.

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