laelene Post in general blog, relationships,Tags: , ,

I came across the show Sister Wives yesterday and decided to look into it tonight.  I’ve found it fascinating to watch their complex family dynamic and all the relationships in a delicate, precarious balance.  The show focuses on the ups and downs of the adults in the family, with the wives all in love with the husband and the husband in love with all the wives.  The husband is very careful to spend approximately even time with each wife, rotating where he sleeps each night and making sure to eat, pray, and speak with each of his dozen kids and three (soon to be four) wives as often as he can.

While their lifestyle is considered illegal, I find that I don’t quite understand the negativity that seems to surround their choices.  Each person chose to live this way and all are strong in their stance.  Who are we to judge whether it’s right or wrong when it’s between consenting adults well aware of their actions?  This kind of persecution is very similar to gay couples.  So why is it that gay couples have garnered a lot of public support for their lifestyle, when polygamists are still looked down upon?  I don’t understand it.  Fundamentally, it comes down to the same issue – what makes a family a family and who gets to decide what is and isn’t?

Personally, I feel that each person should choose how they want to build a family and what it is to them.  While I would not choose polygamy myself (one-on-one relationships are hard enough!), I don’t see the “wrong” that seems to offend people so much.  Though I suppose that in this case, the polygamy practiced is a one-way street so it can be offensive in a sexist sense.  The man may take on new wives, but the wives may not take on new husbands.  Still, it’s not like polygamy on the part of a woman would be accepted in society either.  Why can’t people just accept the choices that others make in their personal lives?

Polygamy seems like less of a crime than adultery.  At least here the wives enter into the marriage well aware that there will be others and the man (hopefully) is respectful enough to consult them on any additional wives.  There is no hiding of affairs and love children and all that crazy drama that seems to be in the news constantly.  The husband in this show loves and respects each of his wives, adores his children, and does his best for all of them.  Things could be much worse!

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