Posts Tagged ‘family’

The worrisome type (& a story about a golf club)

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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I grew up rather carefree, with just a normal amount of teenage angst and self-doubt. My personality has always been the type to “smile first, figure it out later” – or sometimes I just laugh it off. While I am stubborn and can have a temper, I’m usually grinning or chuckling at something. I guess I take after my dad, who may not smile as much, but is pretty easygoing about things and not really one to worry too much. Meanwhile, my mother and boyfriend are completely different!

taylormade 7 iron golf club head with background of grass

The golf club.

Let me give you an example: recently, I found an offer for a free “Boccieri Secret Grip” for a golf club. I had no idea what that means, but my dad’s really into golf so I thought he might want it. Since he was busy, my mom and I went to Dick’s to redeem the offer. The coupon instructed us to bring a 7 Iron or driver in tow – we grabbed the 7 Iron because it’s lighter :-P. So we get into the store and are sent to the guy in the golf section, who takes the club behind the counter. My mom and I check out the two giant spaces they have for testing golf clubs, one which includes a projection of a videogame-like golf course.

Then we look back at the guy.

My dad’s golf club had been stripped into a sad-looking pole! Gone was the TaylorMade grip. The handle was exposed and he vigorously tore off some leftover tape still sticking to it. At this point, my mother and I are in shock. Ok, so call us clueless, but we had no idea that a free grip meant removing the one we had! We watched as he stuck this double-sided sticky paper to the pole, then wet the exposed surface and the interior of the new grip. This allowed the grip to slide on.

taylormade grip with cut splitting it down middle

RIP, old grip.

He handed it back to us as we stared, dazed. What just happened?? In a trash bin, on top of a pile of papers, lay the original grip. Sad, forlorn, floppy. We asked for it back. We were surprised to find that it had been sliced straight down the middle, but I guess that’s how you remove them. The guy explained to us that the Boccieri Secret Grip has a metal weight in it so the relative weight of the club head is lighter. Apparently that’s supposed to help with your golf game. He also showed us the TaylorMade grips they had in store, which we could always re-grip the club with. The patterning wasn’t the same as ours, but it was the same brand.

new boccieri secret grip on golf clubAnd so we left the store, my mom clinging to the ruined grip. We had some grocery shopping to do and throughout the entire time, she kept sighing and sort of melodramatically “wailing” in despair. She was sad, upset, even angry that the guy had so heartlessly cut up the old grip. To her, TaylorMade was a brand name and Boccieri was… not. And so she felt like the club had been downgraded. Plus, she wasn’t happy that the set no longer matched.

new boccieri secret grip on gold club with old taylormade grip laying on groundI, on the other hand, while certainly shocked at first, quickly recovered. Maybe it really is better and maybe it will help my dad’s golf swing or precision or something. Also, just because we hadn’t heard of the name didn’t mean that it wasn’t a brand name in itself. Who knows. But more important than the brand is the performance! And that’s pretty much exactly what my dad said when we got home. I don’t think he was thrilled that the grip was replaced, but he was open-minded and willing to give it a try. He also wasn’t so concerned about a perfectly matching set or any brand name.

Even then, my mom had a hard time letting it go. It was still a big deal to her! That’s just the type of person she is. I guess some people just get much more worked up over things. To me, they cause themselves a whole lot of unnecessary stress. But hey, that’s their prerogative! Are you the worrisome type too?

Having a baby boy in China is a BIG deal

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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chinese baby wrapped in poufy red swaddling clothes laying on bed

When I was born? Probably not a big deal.

One of my cousins in China recently gave birth to a baby boy and oh my gosh, it was such a big deal. You think you’re excited to have a kid? You should imagine how excited you’d be if that was the ONLY kid you were allowed to have in your lifetime. And let’s say you had a boy like my cousin – then you get to be super excited that your family lineage gets passed on. Yeah, boys are still valued more than girls over there (as in many countries, I’m sure).

Maybe I should also mention that you’re not allowed to know the gender of your child, so it’s a surprise for just about every citizen in China when their child is born. Of course, sometimes people “cheat” and find a way to find out, but by law doctors are not allowed to tell you (and they abide by it strictly). You better have some mad connections to get an accurate reveal ahead of time. So come labor time, there’s a ton of anticipation as everyone waits to find out the all-important question: is it a boy or girl??

If you’re confused about these crazy rules (laws), let me explain. You’ve probably heard of the One Child Policy in China at some point. Most people have an inkling that Chinese families are only allowed one kid. Maybe you didn’t believe it or didn’t think they take it so seriously. Well, it’s definitely a law that’s alive and well, though a bit more lax now (like if you remarry you’re allowed to have a child with your new spouse).

Layer on top of that the outlawing of gender revealing during pregnancy and you’ve got one mad nation (as in crazy – specifically, boy crazy – not upset or angry per se). Can you imagine how curious you’d be? The reason that you’re not allowed to know the gender of the baby is because boys are heavily favored for passing down the family name and whatnot, so many people would have an abortion if they knew it was a girl. This probably wouldn’t be such a big deal to families if you got more than one chance to have a boy. But as the laws go, you only get that one chance.

Not only did the announcement of a boy stir up a whole lot of chatter, family activity has picked up as everyone makes their way to send their well wishes. Traditionally, each family is supposed to send one representative, but since my family is all the way here in the US, one of my aunts is representing our family as well. It’s time for my cousin to get showered with gifts and attention (though really it’s probably all going towards that son of hers).

Having a boy is so important that family members are pitching in to “guard” him. Yeah. They’re afraid he’ll get stolen or swapped out. I mean, that’s how big a deal it is. Are they overreacting and paranoid? Maybe. But you never know… with so many couples desperate for a boy, they just might do crazy things to get one.

Quiet Christmas

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , , ,
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This year the holiday season hasn’t quite felt real.  Perhaps it’s the lack of Christmas decorations, wrapping and exchanging of presents, or a family vacation.  The sense of festiveness and warmth just hasn’t struck me this time around despite the celebrations I see going on around me.  Instead, I’m spending some quiet, peaceful time with Panda.  It’s nice in its own way, but it’s something to get used to – soon enough, Panda and I will be creating our own little traditions that make this time of year special to us.

For so long now, this was the time of year that my parents and I got together pretty much without fail.  Whether I flew out to China, they came here, or we all went somewhere new, my dad always figured out a nice little vacation for us.  We’ve enjoyed some wonderful breaks as a family and it’s definitely a major reason why this year it doesn’t feel like it’s that season already.  Plus, it’s one of the rare times when I don’t actually “take” a vacation.  My days don’t change much and I’m still doing much of what I was earlier this month.  There is no traditional work or school to get away from, or crazy schedules to pause.  And so this year feels decidedly less exciting.

Of course, there are still some festivities planned that have yet to come, including a trip to Vegas and a day at Knott’s Berry Farm with Panda’s family.  Also, there are some old friends to meet up with while we’re all in town!  While the past week has been quiet and relaxing, this last week of the year will pick up a faster pace.  Before we know it, 2013 will be upon us and I do look forward to what it will bring.  I have plenty of ideas and I’ve got to get motivated to push forward with some.  Might as well join the pack and set some solid resolutions to help push me along.

I got a wonderful fortune cookie that says: “Your work interests can capture the highest status or prestige.”  Yes, please!  It’s time to make that happen in 2013!

Celebrations & challenges

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , , , , ,
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Oh, 2012. It’s been quite a year.  There were a lot of highs and lows, ranging from glorious celebrations of love to frustrating work-related challenges.  The year started off normally, then started to dip as I didn’t find enough growth in my career.  So, I decided to quit my job and pursue my entrepreneurial dreams.  I then got a chance to attend my first wedding as an adult, watching my cousin get married in a lovely event.  From there, I began to work on my own ventures, with great highs of productivity and excitement and great lows of little motivation and progress.  What this new lifestyle did afford me was a lot of self-reflection, personal growth, and time with Panda.  What it hasn’t afforded me (yet) was the satisfaction of succeeding by “normal” measures.

It’s definitely been challenging and there seems to be a bit of an inverse relation between quality family time and substantial career growth.  While it’s been a strong year for family, it’s been a weak one for work.  I mean, we all know it’s hard to balance the demands of home and work, but I know it can be a better balance than I’ve managed thus far.  I’ve enjoyed and appreciated the time I get to have with my parents when they’re in town, with Panda when we’re together, and with my cousin who has come to study in the US.  However, I constantly feel judged for the lack of a job that I have and my whole “self-employed” status.  Granted, I haven’t been as motivated and hard-working as I could, but there’s a lot I did do that nobody really knows about.

I’m struggling a bit right now to find my way and figure out where to focus my efforts.  My eBay endeavors have reached a plateau and it doesn’t require as much upkeep anymore, so I need to decide what my next thing will be.  I did just get contacted by someone with an opportunity that could potentially lead to something rewarding, so we’ll see how that pans out.  In the mean time, I’ve been doing some work for Yuzen and should probably put some more time into that.  Now that it’s the end of the year and the holiday season is in full swing, I’m finding it hard to really plan too much more work for the rest of the year.  Between travel plans and birthday/holiday celebrations, I’ll probably be pretty busy.  That doesn’t mean I won’t be thinking and strategizing about the future the whole time!

Looong day

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , , , ,
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I’ve had a pretty long day traveling & getting some work done and boy am I pooped!  While it’s only been about 20 hours and certainly is not one of the more stressful times I’ve been through, it has tired me out nonetheless.  From an early morning to catch a flight cross-country to pit stops for food & groceries to settling in to work, I haven’t really taken the time to recover.  I guess it was partly because I had so much stuff to do – packages to open and enjoy, new items to list for sale, and bonding time with family.  Now that the excitement has died down, I suddenly feel the achiness and droopy eyes.  I’m sure I’ll sleep well tonight!

Tomorrow’s another busy day (time for Pamper Me Fabulous again!) and I’ll need to rest up.

The business of partnerships

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , , , , ,
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I’m a strong proponent of business partnerships – not in the legal sense (LLCs seem much safer), but definitely in the collaboration, motivation, teamwork, and synergy sense.  I think it was sometime in college, when I was thinking more seriously about a future as an entrepreneur that I got this idea in my head.  Was it from articles I read?  Companies I looked into?  Other media influences?  I can’t remember now.  All I know is that I soon formed an opinion that the best way for me to find success in business was by pursuing ventures with a partner.  Maybe I’d have a different partner for each project, or one who I could do multiple ones with.  Maybe it’d be a man or a woman.  That much didn’t matter insomuch as 1) we both worked hard toward a common goal, 2) we had similar values, and 3) we had complementary skills.

Once I got this idea in my head, I kept a watchful eye out.  At professional events, at social events, and even during chance encounters.  I met a lot of interesting, smart, driven people throughout my years in college, but none meshed with me the way I wanted my business partner to.  I was always thinking in the back of my head, “Is this person someone I could build a working partnership with?”  Sadly, the answer was always no.  Usually it was because we didn’t share the same interests – they didn’t want to go into the same industries I did, or they didn’t have the entrepreneurial drive that I did.  Sometimes other factors came into play, like clashes in personality.  I thought I might have a chance when I went to work in Singapore, but that fell apart before we ever got going.

After years of dreaming, I decided it was time to address the real life issues I had to face.  I got a normal job at an established company and settled into an average workweek.  Luckily, the company was small, young, and still had a start-up vibe.  I had a lot to learn and got plenty of responsibility.  Over the next two years, I learned a lot and experienced a lot of change at the company!  Things were pretty stable and I was getting antsy.  That entrepreneurial bug came back to bite me and it was an itch that I needed to scratch.  I had a business idea that I felt was worth pursuing and finally, finally, I had met a business partner!  After six long years of searching, it kind of just fell in my lap and I was not about to let it go.  Oh, life.  😛  Well, now that I saw the opportunity, I went for it.  I felt confident that within a couple of months (ok, maybe a year), we could make it work.

Ultimately, I don’t know if I would have pursued my own venture if I didn’t have a partner to collaborate with.  Even in some of my personal side projects, my mom is my proponent and unofficial business partner.  Even if I do the majority of the work, I feel so much more confident when there is someone else there, whether as an equal partner or more of a supporting role.  I’ve even gotten so much self-belief that I’m looking into pursuing some of my own little side gigs!  As they say, nobody succeeds on their own, and I am so grateful to the support network that I have behind me.  While partnerships may not be the optimal approach for everyone, it is for me and I think it’s worth considering no matter who you are.

Marriage, Chinese style

laelene Posted in photo blog,Tags: , , , , ,
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A few weeks ago I wrote about my cousin’s wedding in China and now here are some pictures from the day.

mercedes benz decorated with flowers to newlyweds

The newlyweds' chariot has arrived in style!

red paper held down by red bricks cover sewage caps

All sewage caps along the bride and groom's path had to be covered with red paper held down by red bricks, to keep bad luck/spirits away.

love spelled out in flowers

On the back of the car was a tribute to their love, spelled out with flowers.

groom carries bride out of her house into waiting car as confetti rains down

The groom carried his bride through the threshold of her building into the awaiting car as a shower of confetti rained all over them.

wedding confetti all over the car

The wedding confetti got all over the place, making the car, the street, and people's hair shine in rainbow colors.

wedding bun or wedding bao made completely of bread molded into dragon, phoenix, fish, and flowers

Apparently it's traditional to get one of these giant buns in Shandong. The bread is molded into all kinds of cool designs, like the dragon and phoenix on top and the flowers and fish all around them. And yes, it's edible!

huge screen in ballroom of hotel with custom wedding theme logo displayed

They had their own theme created around their names!

gigantic chandelier in ballroom of hotel

The chandelier in the place was gargantuan and so much brighter than this picture shows.

groom waits for bride to join him

The groom waited for his bride to enter the ballroom and then they walked down the aisle to the stage together.

the bride and groom share a kiss as they are elevated by a platform

Before walking down the aisle, the bride and groom share a kiss as the platform raised up and spun them around.

huge meatballs topped with "double happiness" symbol

Following the ceremony, we ate lunch, which included these "double happiness" meatballs to celebrate the joy.

On the go

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , ,
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Happy holidays!  I’m busy traveling around so I won’t be posting much.  Took a 25-hour trip from LA to Portland to Tokyo to Beijing and then the next day, a 5-hour train ride brought me to Shenyang.  My poor feet have been sitting around too much and I’ve napped so much I don’t know when to be tired.  It’s all good though, I get to see quite a bit of family in the next couple of days and hopefully get some relaxation too.  🙂

Napping power

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: ,
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Got up just past 5 today to go to the airport and thank goodness I go to work late! I got a nice power nap in before work (nearly 2 hours’ worth!) and felt so refreshed. I don’t know what I would have done if I hadn’t had that extra time to rest.

I read once that a 6-minute power nap is just as effective as a 20-minute one, but I wonder if time taken to fall asleep was counted. Sometimes you can’t just crash right away and need some time to drift off. I’ve found that I seem to feel best if I sleep for an even number of hours. Getting 6 is ideal, 8 is hard to come by, and 2 or 4 is not quite enough.

I’m feeling very tired now though and totally ready for a full night’s rest. 🙂

Relatives!

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: ,
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My aunt and uncle are visiting from China and I’ve been taking them around LA.  It’s keeping me busy, so no time to write!  Tomorrow we’re going to San Diego and it’s going to be a long day, so I’m going to bed pronto.  Got a busy day ahead.  🙂

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