Posts Tagged ‘friends’

I can’t believe it!

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , , , ,
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A common reaction to tragic crimes is candlelit vigils for the victim(s).  photo credit: hodgysan on flickr

A common reaction to tragic crimes is candlelit vigils for the victim(s). photo credit: hodgysan on flickr

So often on crime reports you hear on the news, the first thing the reporter does is paint a picture of an idyllic town or life struck by tragedy.  You hear of how the quiet neighborhood was a place where people don’t lock their doors and everyone knows their neighbors.  You hear of a teenager who never seemed troubled and was a stellar student, musician, and athlete, as well as popular with peers.  You hear of a couple who seemed “meant to be” and a family that was very close.  Yet somehow, from that you get terrible news of murders, suicides, and other violent crimes.  Interviews with neighbors, friends, and family members always yield the same reaction:

“I can’t believe it happened here!”

“I can’t believe it happened to him/her/them!”

“I can’t believe he/she would do such a thing!”

“Nothing seemed out of the ordinary.  Things seemed just fine.”

“I don’t know why/how this would/could happen (to them).”

Some very intriguing headlines out there.  photo credit: Xetius on flickr

Some very intriguing headlines out there. photo credit: Xetius on flickr

It’s amazing how many crimes are committed with people (supposedly) close to the perpatrator never having a clue.  It always comes as a shock; it always stirs up a town; it always makes the world wonder what went wrong.  And I think reporters have a field day coming up with the contrast of beautiful, near-perfect life to terrible, heart-wrenching demise.  It certainly makes for good headlines and articles.  The more gory, the more unexpected, the more unusual, weird, or crazy, the better material for them.  A convicted felon robbing another store is nothing exciting, but a serial killer who is usually suave and personable is definitely notable.  Contrasts stand out to people, but expected behavior does not.

And so it is, with another sad tale emerging in the news – a brillant young life (yes, they will often emphasize how much more a person has to live for, or how much a person had lived to make it even more depressing) lost just days before what was meant to be the happiest day of her life.  In case you haven’t followed the news lately, I’m talking about Ms. Annie Le.  When I first saw an earlier headline, I had a brief moment where I got goosebumps and prayed that it wasn’t the Annie Le I knew.  She too is a smart young lady with so much potential for her future, which is why I thought that maybe she had gone on to Yale for graduate school.  She’s certainly capable.  Though I didn’t end up actually knowing this Annie Le, it reminded me that someday, I might.  Eventually I just may see the name of a friend or colleague in the news and I certainly hope it is because they won a prestigious award, not because they had a run-in with the law or were victims of a crime.

Unabashed

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , ,
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I got a chance to meet up with Gimp today.  He’s in town for a few more days before returning to Texas to be an EMT and potentially go to law school or something along those lines.  We’ve always had a strange relationship, being the respective best friends of a couple who have since split.  I never would have known him otherwise and hanging out with him started off as a necessity because of overlapping social circles.  He’s the kind of friend who you never take too seriously and typically are ready to slap at a moment’s notice.  He’s a super cheeky fellow and likes to think of himself as a stud, yet at the same time he’s got a big heart and is well aware of his ego.  It’s always interesting hanging out with him.

One of the most unique things about him is that he brings out the insults in me.  Whenever we hang out, we diss each other like nothing else.  We call each other fat, point out all the minor flaws (many of which don’t exist), exaggerate every little mistake to be a bad character trait, and relentlessly battle each other with words and (controlled) hands.  I’d imagine this is how siblings fight each other as they’re growing up, with a certain immaturity and a he-said she-said mentality.  It’s quite fun though, and playfully abusive emotionally and physically.  It may not sound that great, but there’s nothing like a dose of unabashed insults thrown at you to make you question if you really deserve to think of yourself as so great.

Reminds me of when these two duke it out with words on the Black Pearl.  photo credit: magicmountain.net

Reminds me of when these two duke it out with words on the Black Pearl. photo credit: magicmountain.net

I’m sure everyone has that friend who is candid to a fault and has absolutely no tact.  Take that to a different dimension and you get the friend who is completely candid, but will even make things up to poke at possible insecurities.  If you learn to deal with that, there’s a lot more you could handle if it came your way.  I guess it comes down to trusting that person enough to know they don’t actually mean those mean things and trusting yourself enough to know that you aren’t those bad things.

Talk about a reality check.  A friend like that can keep anyone grounded!  Though perhaps there is the danger of pounding someone into the ground too hard if they can’t take a harsh joke or two.  Personally, I appreciate the little dose of a “beating” I get every now and then.  It’s a fun and lively banter for me and keeps me on my toes.  After all, I can’t always be the one getting shot down, now can I?

Lack of motivation

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , , , , , , ,
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My trusty scale.

My trusty scale.

I’ve been back for just about five days now and not worked out once.  Instead, I’ve gone to all-you-can-eat Korean BBQ, stuffed myself with a huge plateful of dumplings, scarfed down a gigantic serving of kimchi fried rice, and fed myself otherwise unhealthy amounts of food.  I’m still happily one jeans size smaller and ten pounds lighter then when I left for Singapore, but who knows how long that will last.  When I first discovered this weight loss, I couldn’t believe it.  I was at the doctor’s and using a kg scale and the conversion just didn’t seem right.  But since I’ve come back I’ve tried a handful of different scales and even tried on pants one size smaller to confirm.  Time and time again, I’ve been amazed that I weigh what I haven’t since my high school days.  Of course it’s not just about weight, but I do feel more sprightly now (though that may just be psychological, who knows).  Nonetheless, it feels good and I’m still a healthy weight.  So, to keep it that way, I’ve really got to buckle down and get myself to work out during the day at some point, but it’s just too easy to fall back into my lazy routine.

Oh yes, a most familiar scene.

Oh yes, a most familiar scene.

Let me describe to you my life after college and before my stint in Singapore.  I’d wake up ridiculously late, anywhere from 2 or 3 in the afternoon to even 6 PM at times.  I’d casually drag myself out of bed in the heat and either go downstairs to pig out for a bit or go online and sit on the bed, typing away.  At some point I’d hop in the shower to wash away the grossness from lounging around all day.  I’d eat dinner around 8 PM and occasionally go for a nighttime stroll with my mother afterwards, as I promised my dad I would when he went back to China and couldn’t accompany her anymore.  We’d walk for about an hour in the brisk night, then I’d get back and hop straight back into bed, prop myself up, and go online for the remainder of the night.  I even set up a little snack station next to my bed, so a variety of food and drinks would be available within arms reach.  I’d stay up all night on my laptop and fall asleep sometime between 6-9 AM, when the world lit up again and everyone else around me was just starting their day.

It’s no wonder I didn’t lose any of the weight I’d gained in college, despite eating less overall.  Instead, my belly grew out a little and my thighs thickened, though of course I never noticed a thing, with such gradual changes.  I don’t want that to happen to me again, so I’m trying to spend less time working on the bed and go downstairs to the dining room table to go online.  I’ve also been keeping busy meeting up with people and hanging out in the places that I love.  Unfortunately, much of that involves food, and plenty of it!  It’s ok though, I just need to get off my butt and get my heart rate up to keep off any buildup.  Maybe I’ll dust off that bike in the garage, or maybe I’ll bring out my beloved longboard.  I do plan on learning how to surf once Ninja gets back from being Indiana Jones, so that should help with toning!

But for now, I have little motivation and all the reason to lounge around in bed all day.  I’ve really got to start looking for a job though.

For the sake of it

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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photo credit: puttputtproductions.com

photo credit: puttputtproductions.com

I was born in the Year of the Ox and the month of the Capricorn.  Both are known to be stubborn creatures, which is something that I’ve most definitely inherited, for better or for worse.  Many of the things I chose to do in my life have been out of pure stubbornness – first to be able to say that I did it and second just to be different.  Of course, the more people try to get me to change my behavior, the more determined I get to stick to my principles, morals, and priorities.  I think I like the satisfaction of claiming that I don’t do this or that or that I have done something for this long.  Especially when it’s something most of the population would like to claim as well, I feel all the better about being able to stake my claim.

The three most prominent examples of this are what I will or will not ingest, my frequency of relocations and moves, and my persistence with my journal.  For each, though it may not always make sense for me to stick to my guns so strictly, I do so to preserve the idea that it’s always been that way.  I don’t like to compromise in any of these areas and it’s quite rare for me to do so, though I’ve been working on that lately, since some of what I do is truly unfounded or limiting.  At the same time, certain aspects I don’t plan on ever changing and that can be seen as a good or bad thing.  Ok, let me clarify what I mean by each of these examples then.

Lychee flavor!

Lychee flavor!

First off are my peculiar food and drink preferences.  As many know, I do not drink alcohol, coffee, or energy drinks.  I also refuse to eat rubbery things like calamari, squid, and other such odd creatures.  I stay away from burgers, steak, lobster, and caviar.  I am especially strict with alcohol, also avoiding food cooked in it, chocolates with liqueur, and the like.  Even fermented food is a big no-no in my books, though some of these things have been unavoidably tasted at least once.  The more people try to pressure me to drink, the more resistant I am, even if it’s just a taste or small portion of wine.  I often get the “you know that it can actually be good for you, right?” and pay no heed – the costs far outweigh the benefits in my eyes.  I do, however, like to collect a few mini bottles here and there because they’re rather cute (plus, why would you ever drink it?  They’re too pretty!).

However, last year I did become curious and exasperated enough to try some beer (at age 22) and it was just as nasty as I thought it’d be, plus some.  So that experience only solidified my resolve to avoid alcohol.  I’m sure people will now focus on how I didn’t try wine or something lighter, fruitier, or whatever.  Perhaps one day I will sip some wine just to get them to leave me alone, but as of now I’ll just ignore their pleads that it can be good for my health.  In fact, I cherish an article I read recently about how the link that people draw between moderate drinking and good health may not be a causal effect, but actually be discounting many other possible factors that affect people’s drinking.  Even if there was solid proof, I’m not about to just follow suit.  I can eat blueberries and pomegranates for antioxidants and have fish oil and avocados for cardiovascular health.  No alcohol needed.

I avoid coffee and energy drinks for the caffeine, which I don’t want or need, plus coffee smells disgusting to me.  I like to do things naturally and without artificial aids whenever possible, so if I’m tired I take a nap.  If I’m pulling an all-nighter, I drink lots of water or tea.  I don’t need these extreme stimulants to affect my body in strange ways.

As for rubbery things, I’m not a fan of having to overwork my jaw or swallow large chunks of food.  The texture doesn’t appeal to me, so I stick to crab, shrimp, and scallops, which is seafood that I do like to eat.  This is not for health reasons, so I did try these “dong dong” shells in Singapore, since it’s a local thing.  Now, I’m not quite sure why I don’t like burgers – I think it stems from a gross one I saw in the cafeteria in my childhood.  I’ve stayed away ever since, though I have broken that to have about five in the past 15 years.

photo credit: artvoice.com

This doesn’t look appetizing to me at all. photo credit: artvoice.com

Steak is just too thick for me and I hate how it usually comes at least somewhat pink.  I don’t really like meat that much, unless it’s very thinly sliced.  Lobster is something my mom and I have disagreed on for ages – she says I ate it as a kid and I refuse to believe that.  The only time I recall having it was in a dip, where the chunks were minimal.  I’m not interested in ever eating a full one.  And caviar has the same problem that rubbery things have in that I don’t like the texture.  I also stubbornly don’t like food that is high class and expensive (though it’s a coincidence that my taste buds prefer cheaper foods).

Secondly, I am persistent in my desire to move around because that’s how my life has always been.  I like being able to say I’ve never lived in the same city for more than 3 and 1/2 years consecutively.  I like having so many old homes and schools and jobs that I have to keep a list or else I’d forget.  I’m not the type of person to stay put and I enjoy that.  My friends are never really too surprised to hear of my escapades because I’m on the go far more than they usually are.  If for that reason alone, I want to keep moving around and not settle quite yet.  Of course, it also has to do with just being used to that lifestyle.

My most recent journal.

My most recent journal.

Finally, how many people can say they have kept a journal for 14 years?  I want to be able to, but I’m at 13 now and a year behind in catching up on entries.  Most people I tell say they tried to keep a journal, but that only lasted a week, a month, a year… I’ve yet to meet someone who’s managed for as long as I have.  And if only for the sake of being able to say that I have, I want to continue with it, whether or not it may be worth my while.  Ultimately I think it’ll be a great thing to draw from later on if I decide to write an autobiography (or if people want to look back on my life, though it’d certainly be a bit tedious – I’m already reaching 50 volumes and that’s A LOT of reading).

So you see, much of my motivations for these areas is because of my stubbornness to continue to do it like I always have (or at least since my childhood).  Generally, people respect my choices and think it’s good that I don’t drink and don’t rely on coffee or energy drinks for a boost.  They also think it’s crazy that I move so frequently, but respect my ability to do that as well.  And of course, everyone wishes they were able to keep the journal they always meant to have.  I like being the one who does.  The one who is able to stay away from alcohol, coffee, and energy drinks.  The one who doesn’t need or want to spend exorbitant amounts on steak, lobster, and caviar.  The one who has lived everywhere.  The one who has kept a journal for years.  The one who can, who has, and who will.

Timeless dilemma

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,
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Truly like a ninja.

Truly like a ninja.

I have a friend, Ninja, who lives his life in such a way that it should be worthy of being made into a movie.  In everything he does, that’s how he’ll treat things.  It’s quite fitting that everyone sees him as a ninja, prowling around doing all kinds of cool moves and getting into spectacular “fights.”  I’m sure everyone would love to have his approach to life.  It’s really quite cool, because then he’s always having exciting adventures.  It helps that he’s extremely athletic, so he can escape situations if needed.  One of the examples was when he went to the midnight showing of Indiana Jones (whichever one just came out in the past year or so) dressed in a leather jacket, leather hat/fedora thing, and (real) bullwhip.  After the show ended, he stood up on the balcony and cracked his whip to cheers and whistles until security approached.  He then made a run for it and got out unscathed.  Now how awesome is that?!

Having too much fun to write about it!

Having too much fun to write about it!

Well, the thing is, if you’re out having such a fantastic time all the time, you never have time to record it for others to enjoy or for it to be passed down in the books.  This is a dilemma that I face all the time as I ponder how worthwhile it is for me to maintain a daily journal.  It started back in 4th grade, when I wanted a diary from the Scholastic Fair, but my dad would only allow me to buy it if I promised to write in it every day.  I did, and he got me the diary, but never again asked about it.  It was only in the months and years following, when my parents would find me scribbling away at yet another volume of my journal, that they realized I was serious.  Maybe they didn’t hold me accountable for my promise, but I did.  They used to scold me that I was wasting my time writing so much and it was just a liu shui zhang, or ‘running water account’.  Basically, it meant that my writing was as useless as a bank account where all the funds were drained, or something to that extent.

Nonetheless, I pursued until about a year ago, when I truly started to get behind on my writing.  When I can’t find the time to write an entry each day (which has been the case for many years), I’ll keep bullet point notes to remind me of what to write about when I do have time to catch up.  I used to be able to catch up on a weekly basis, which then evolved to a monthly basis and now… yearly?  I still have tons of notes for all the days I’ve missed, though even those I’m behind on now.  I’m not too worried though, since with the brilliance of the internet, I can just check my Facebook, blog, texts, and IMs from a particular day to piece together what happened.  Not the best way to keep track of my life, but it works.

Have fun playing with friends or chill out writing alone?

Have fun playing with friends or chill out writing alone?

My constant struggle with keeping a journal was that when I had a lot to write about, I had no time to write about it and when I had plenty of time to write, I had nothing to write about.  After all, if you’re too busy out doing fun and interesting things, you won’t have time to stop and spend some time writing about it.  Conversely, if you’ve got plenty of time sitting around, you aren’t really doing much exciting stuff to mention.  So I always question the existence of my journal and whether or not I should maintain it.  Even now, being so far behind, I fully intend to catch up on it eventually.  But is it worth the time?  Should I be doing something more notable instead?  I used to write when I couldn’t really do anything else, like when I was on planes or in a waiting room, but that doesn’t happen much anymore, so most of my time I can spend doing something else.  I’d like to live a storybook life, but I’d like to document it as well.  So where is my balance?  I don’t know if I’ll ever find one, but I will certainly always be striving towards one.

Security or sharing?

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , , , , , , , ,
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I’ve had this dilemma between wanting to share what’s going on in my life (especially as it’s current) and needing to protect myself to some degree.  I remember reading awhile back about a guy whose home was burglarized after he announced a vacation over Twitter.  That was a wake-up call for me and a reminder of the dangers of transparency. Katana had mentioned this very issue at some point, talking about how she would only speak of plans to vacation after the fact and make very vague references to places that she likes to frequent.  It was all in an effort to prevent certain people from finding her too easily or know too much.

A vacation long past.  Can you guess where I am?

A vacation long past. Can you guess where I am?

I may not be too concerned about my privacy yet, but maybe one day I will, if I become more high-profile through the work that I do and (hopefully) get to be known by.  I don’t want to get into habits of sharing everything about my life and finding it working against me in the future.  So far it’s been fine for me – I tend to talk about things I’m thinking of and things that I did on a particular day.  Nothing there that would pinpoint where to find me, since I would have been long gone by the time I wrote about it.  Of course, there was the huge move to Singapore that narrows things down quite a bit, but I’ve never mentioned where I’ve stayed or worked while here.  Also, I haven’t talked about exactly where I live in LA and it’s not like the house is empty and easy to be broken into anyway.

However, this is the first time that I’m vacationing (there, I said it) since I started my blog more seriously.  This time I’m not worried because people don’t know where I’m staying (except for colleagues, who I trust) and it’s not like I’m leaving the place empty – there will still be plenty of people occupying that space, going on with their lives.  The problem is I don’t know what I’d do when I do go on vacation and leave a home empty.  I absolutely love to share my life with others, friends or strangers.  I just don’t want that to come kick me in the butt in the future for being too transparent about my life’s details.  But will I really be able to resist sharing?

If you're sick of seeing my face, too bad.  I try not to put pictures of others unless they are hard to recognize or I am out of touch with them.

If you're sick of seeing my face, too bad. I try not to put pictures of others unless they are hard to recognize or I am out of touch with them.

It’s a battle between who knows the most intimate details about me (and who can find out if they wanted) and of those people, who would actually do something to harm me.  Does my announcement of some time away put me at risk for being robbed?  Can people who I don’t know that well find my personal details?  That stuff doesn’t seem too hard to find – I’m constantly filling out forms with it, so what if it all goes to the wrong hands one day?  There are so many questions and not enough answers – this has to end up being a judgment call with not much basis beyond a feeling.  I feel safe enough sharing it now, so I will.  I’ll try to only write about the cities I visit after I’ve left them, just for practice.

I remember thinking similar thoughts when I posted earlier this week about looking for a job.  I wanted to share a screenshot of my résumé, but I didn’t want everyone to see my contact details.  So, I spent quite a bit of time editing it so that people would know that the contact details would have gone in that space,  but not be able to read it.  The first few times I tired a variety of blurring effects, but none worked well enough, so I finally settled with a pixelating.  I trust that people are generally good, but it doesn’t hurt to take some cautionary steps at times.  I just hope I don’t ever get too paranoid.

Habits die hard

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,
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Habits are these persistent still suckers that get ingrained in your very subconscious, affecting how you behave often in ways that you can’t help.  Since you’re so used to doing things that way, it takes a lot of conscious effort to change how you do it.  Even a lot of effort may not always be effective, though with time they can slowly take effect.  I’ve been having trouble with this for awhile now, with a very silly behavior.  You see, I’m a fidgety person – I like to move around.  Well, one of my fidgets is clapping the palm of one hand on the loose fist of the other hand.  Can you imagine what that looks like?  Turns out it’s considered an insult in Singaporean culture.  -___-  Hence, I will not take a picture to show you what it’s like.  I’ll leave that to your imagination.

I think this is a pretty safe universal sign.  photo credit: wpclipart.com

I think this is a pretty safe universal sign. photo credit: wpclipart.com

It seems that I like to do it for the very reason it is considered rude – there’s a nice echo and a sort of popping noise you can make by slapping your hands together like that.  I also snap my fingers and crack my knuckles because of this desire to make small movements and create a little bit of sound.  It breaks both the monotony of staying still and being quiet at the same time (which usually make me feel antsy).  Unfortunately for me, I was caught doing this by a very shocked Starfish, who immediately gasped at my gesture and frantically asked me what I was doing.  It was also brought up once when I was out with Mizu and some friends.  Throughout the rest of that night, I found myself catching myself right after doing it, then hiding my hands or trying to keep them from moving around so much.  But time and time again, my hands would find their way from under my legs or untangle themselves from an interlocked clasp to do that action again!  It really is difficult to adjust behavior.

This reminds me of my first few weeks in Singapore, when Mizu was overcoming a tendency to overuse “actually” with the help of Starfish and Marylin.  Whenever we caught him using it when it wasn’t necessary, someone would be there to clear their throat and ask, “Actually?”  Whether he was speaking to us, on the phone, or presenting, Starfish and Marylin kept a close ear on what he was saying.  With that sort of persistent watch kept over him, Mizu quickly learned to stop using it and it’s been a long time since he’s used that sentence more than once in a sentence.  (Because, actually, when do you actually need to actually use it so many times in a sentence, actually?)  😛

photo credit: weightlosswiththefabulousfatties.wordpress.com

photo credit: weightlosswiththefabulousfatties.wordpress.com

The good thing about behavior is that you don’t need to spend too much time thinking about doing it because it’s rather automatic.  However, for that same reason, it can come kick you in the butt because you may automatically do something that you don’t want to or shouldn’t.  It’s a trade-off between having more brain resources that can be directed to other thoughts and doing things that you may regret and will have trouble not doing.  According to popular knowledge and based on research, it takes 21 days to break a habit.  I think I’m nearing that mark…  Ultimately, it really is important to develop good habits at a young age, so you don’t have to work so hard to try to adjust your behavior when you’re older.

Take right now, for example.  I’ve made a lot of typos because I’m training myself to type with my left thumb and keep my right thumb off the spacebar.  Since I’m not used to that sort of coordination, I make the strangest typos without even realizing at times, because my brain sent the right signal, but my fingers didn’t execute properly.  Similarly, everyone has certain typos that they tend to make frequently (and often this doesn’t get corrected because of autocorrect) because of how they learned to type.  I know I always stumble on certain words and almost never get them right on the first try.  I remember I noticed that Katana used to do that a lot with “the,” which always came out as “teh.”  Such things are natural when you start typing quickly, but it’s still interesting to compare what I mess up on versus someone else.  Old dogs are slow to learn new tricks, aren’t they?

Simple pleasures

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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DSC05171It was a lovely day today and I had an equally lovely time going on an outing with Skim for the afternoon.  We met up at Bugis MRT and got on a bus that took us out to East Coast Park, where we were able to rent two bikes and take a nice ride.  A mere two minutes into our journey we nearly crashed into each other, as I tried to unsteadily pass my camera to her.  I never knew my right hand was so weak at maneuvering!  The opposite was for her, as she had trouble with her left hand, so there we were, a complete screaming disaster as we saved ourselves from near destruction.  I then switched to be on the left side and we managed to make the pass so she could take some pictures for me.  Why we couldn’t just stop our bikes like normal people I don’t know.  It’s far less exciting that way!

Doesn't that look like fun?

Doesn't that look like fun?

We went along the path and enjoyed cooling breezes from the ocean, quiet stretches in woodsy areas, and navigating around the sudden influx of people that would come upon us.  It was a lot of fun to be out in the sun and going through natural areas as we chatted about a variety of things, like our thoughts on careers and the type of work we do.  Along the way we stopped to watch some wakeboarders, parasailers, and windsailers having fun out on the water.  I don’t know if I’m fit enough to do that kind of thing, but I’d sure like to try someday!  First I want to learn how to surf though, which hopefully will be good for my sense of balance.  I’m really interested in water sports in general, so I hope I get around to trying all of them at some point.

DSC05184The one thing that wasn’t so enjoyable about the ride was when our butts started to get sore about two hours in.  I kept shifting around in an attempt to put weight on different areas, but once we stopped for a quick snack, we both felt the soreness creeping us.  At first walking was a little strange and I wondered if this is how it feels to get off a horse after a long journey.  I’ve only ever been on horses for brief times, about an hour or so, so I never got the bow legs that others have.  We were right by the ocean at that point, so we went down to the water so I could at least say I touched the ocean water here.  It’s a lesson from my trip to Australia that I’ve never forgotten – going in the water is something so simple, yet it’s something I didn’t do in the Gold Coast, so I’ll never repeat that mistake again.

This time, I took some jumping shots and it looked so fun that Skim decided she’d get her feet wet for the sake of that.  Normally she wouldn’t want to touch that water because there’s a fair share of trash in it, but jumping over water is pretty awesome, so she just had to give it a try too.  What a fun day!  🙂

Los Angeles

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Driving to UCLA with the Getty up front.

Driving to UCLA with the Getty up front.

I never thought I’d truly settle down in a city until I was older, closer to my 30s, but I may just find myself in LA indefinitely.  Though I still want to work in other cities for a few months at a time, I think that home base will still be in the sunny landscape of Southern California.  Much of this has to do with Panda’s preference, since he is a born and breed Los Angelian (or whatever they’re called).  This city is all he’s ever known and all he cares to, at least when it comes to living.  I’m fine with that as long as I still get a fair share of travel and interstate and international time.

As my departure date draws near, the anticipation for all the things I’ve missed grows – I keep imagining how it will be like to see Panda again and hang out with my old friends.  There are plans to go to Six Flags, eat all you can eat Korean BBQ, chase after the Korean taco truck, pig out on Red Mango/Pinkberry, go do yoga on Santa Monica pier, skate around, enjoy the beach, get the best boba in the world, and so much more.  The greatest thing about Los Angeles is the breadth of activities that you can do.  Granted, everything is rather spread out and parking is a hassle, but it’s not so bad.

Just another day on the job!  :)

Just another day on the job! 🙂

I also miss bumming around at my house and hanging out around campus.  Panda’s moving to his new location for the year soon, so I’m also excited to go see it (and have a place to crash :-P).  Some of my friends are still going to be on campus, so when I miss my undergrad days, I can just go visit them too.  It’ll be nice to see the places that I’ve gotten so familiar with and be able to drive around again.  It’s a terrible internal conflict between wanting to drive around on my own and enjoy the peace of that, versus not wanting to be a polluter.  I’ll just enjoy the drives I do need to make and hope that the traffic isn’t too bad.

I’m sure that when it comes time to actually leave Singapore, I’ll miss it a lot, but right now I’m still here and able to hang out.  I’m happy that I’ll be getting back early enough to catch some Orientation sessions – after all, that defined my summer last year and it was so much fun.  I can’t wait to go visit and see how things are this year.  Things have changed a lot in the past year and it’ll be nice to get back in touch with old friends.  I’ll never forget my Orientation experience, not only because I met Panda, but also because it had been my dream since starting at UCLA.  Being able to fulfill that in the last summer I would have the chance is truly a blessing.

Life stages

laelene Posted in general blog, relationships,Tags: , , , , , , , ,
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I was recently found on Facebook by an old middle school friend, which then prompted quite a discovery journey for me.  She and I only have two friends in common since she’s new to FB, so I went to check out those profiles too.  One of them was my best friend from those St. Louis days, who I haven’t heard from in years.  I stopped by her profile to find that she’s engaged!  I still remember the days when her parents were still so overprotective that they wouldn’t let her sleep over at a friend’s house until she was about 12 or 13 (my house was her first sleepover, and probably only because we were a Chinese family too).

She got engaged on Halloween - how cool! photo credit: her FB

She got engaged on Halloween – how cool! photo credit: her FB

From there, I was checking out a bunch of my other friends’ profiles and so many of them are engaged, married, or are starting families!  It’s really amazing to remember them the way I do as young teenagers and look to see what their lives are like now.  We’ve all grown up so much.  I guess it’s such a shocker for me because I never watched them grow up and my last memory of these people was in middle school, when we were still in our awkward phases.  It’s wonderful to be able to see where they are in their lives now, from planning a wedding to starting their careers.

I think the 20s are the most exciting years, what with many educational, personal, and professional milestones concentrated in that decade of our lives.  It made me think about how each of us is reaching a different stage in our lives – from those who are still finding their way to those who are settling down.  I think marriage and children are still more rare in my peers right now, but in another decade, that landscape will likely change drastically, with the opposite true.  It’s fascinating for me to see the type of people each of ends up with and the lifestyle that we fall into.

Ah, the rings... I much prefer silver to gold. photo credit: katargonza.com

Ah, the rings… I much prefer silver to gold. photo credit: katargonza.com

I know for sure that if I had not moved to California, my life would be immensely different.  One thing I’ve noticed was that my Asian friends from years past (which totals to a mere three) have all settled with Caucasian boyfriends/fiances.  I always thought I’d end up with one too, and more than likely would have if I hadn’t moved to SoCal, where the density of Asians is much, much higher.  Our surroundings play such a huge role in how our lives turn out, from the things we encounter to the people we’re exposed to.  I wonder if the environment in the Midwest and out East had anything to do with their decisions to get married at this age.  Maybe it’s just my sentiment, but I’d rather get my career underway first and that seems to be the vibe on the West Coast.

Nonetheless, I am intrigued to see who is married, who is engaged, who has a kid, who is still dating, and who is still single.  I don’t know why I find it so interesting, but I love going to people’s profiles to see their relationship status.  In fact, this prompted me to start going through all my friends to see what they have listed.  Other than the few who are married or engaged, I will likely forget the rest, but it’s still fun to explore.  It’s also a nice update, since some have changed their names and initially I was quite confused by their new surname.  I’ve never really thought about it, but when I did, I realized that I am far too attached to my name to just change it like that.  Panda’s ok with that (yay), so I can rest assured that I didn’t buy my domain for nothing.  😛  It’s still weird to think that the kids will have a different last name though.  I hate hypenated names though, so I’d rather they take his than try to do some awkward combo (unless we’re allowed to do some hybrid spelling?  o.O).

So, where are all your friends at?  Where you thought they’d be?

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