Brake.  Gas.  Brake.  Gas.  Brake.  Brake.  Brake.

What it looks like. photo credit: enterstageright.com

The morning commute sucks, even at 9:30.  You would have expected it to be a little clearer, but I guess enough people go to work later that it doesn’t even matter anymore.  Panda has mentioned a few times that he wants to live near work so he only has a 5-minute commute (much like mine to Opportunity Green when I’m at his place).  I completely understand.  The problem will be working close enough to each other that we can find a place that isn’t too far from either.  For I certainly don’t want to have to wake up in the morning only to drive an hour and a half to start working.  It’s exhausting and the complete wrong way to start the day.  I’m amazed that so many people do it.

I hate to get up in the morning as it is.  When you put a morning commute as miserable as they get in LA, that’s just about the worst way anyone could start their day.  I can’t imagine something more stressful and draining, both physically and mentally.  And for those who experience road rage and get extremely anxious when they are running late, it’s emotionally taxing as well.  If only everyone could just work from home and cut the commute, be close enough to just walk on over, or had public transportation that easily transported people.  Maybe cities should be planned in such as way as to ease this sort of congestion.  I’m not sure that would be enough though, what the complexity of the problem.  Perhaps businesses and residences should intermingle more evenly to spread out the flow of traffic in all directions instead of one main one.  It just doesn’t make sense to have hordes of people heading into a central business district each morning and rushing out each evening.  Is there really any real benefit to having business hubs?

What it feels like. photo credit: Curtis Gregory Perry on flickr

It might be that the problem would not be solved with a different distribution of businesses, but rather needs to be tackled via transportation solutions.  I know I sure wish I had someone to drive with so I could take advantage of the carpool lane and probably shave a good 20-30 minutes off of my 90-minute drive.  Even better would be a mass transportation system that runs at that time.  The only way I can get from my valley down to more central LA via public transportation is a commuter bus that only runs in the early morning.  This city is in desperate need of a mass transit makeover.  Buses, trains, subways, monorails, whatever.  A city so spread out shouldn’t leave its people with so few options to get around.

Let’s end the concept of rush hour.  It’ll make the atmosphere cleaner and the people happier.

photo credit: ecopromosonline.com

Everywhere you go now, you can find those “eco-bags” available around every corner, in every shop.  It’s one of those fads that everyone seems to buy into, but it makes me wonder if it’s worth all the hype.  Sure, it’s great to have sturdy bags like that that you can use and reuse time and time again.  But the problem is, a solution like that doesn’t quite work without the full commitment of the people as well.  They’ve got to change their behavior to match the goals of producing those reusable tote bags: conservation.  If everyone used just one or two of those bags with every grocery run (or even any sort of shopping), a lot can be saved.  But the problem is, people are getting these things, then forgetting to bring them along to use each time they go out.  Every now and then they may decide to just get another one and use them all the next time.  But of course, without a change in habits, you’ll never get around to it.

I was reminded of this when I read about a lady who has reached the brink and decided she has enough of these bags now.  It’s more harmful to overproduce these bags than the cheap plastic ones we’ve grown accustomed to.  After all, they require more material and certainly more energy to create.  If people still use too many of them, the problem we have doesn’t go away – it merely mutates.  So, recently, I have made sure that whenever Panda and I go shopping for food, we bring our collection of reusable bags or suffer the consequences of having to carry everything we bought with no bags (or maybe just one to be used for collecting trash in).  We also walk to the store, which is a 15- to 20-minute trip by foot.  After spending the time and energy to get there only to find we forgot to bring bags, it’s a personal punishment to not use bags as a way of drilling that habit into our routine.  Lately I’ve begun to hang the bags on the door so it’s harder to disregard them as we head out the door and it’s been working!  I’ve become more conscious of the steps to take before going out to buy some food.

photo credit: ilovecostco.com

Costco’s a great place that does away with the whole bag concept and uses boxes, if anything, to pack up your cart.  Though it never hit me until Panda mentioned it, perhaps I like that place for that very fact (and of course the fact that they offer bulk items).  It works really well because the type of bags they’d have to get to hold the items they sell really isn’t worth all the waste it would create (though I’m sure they’d make great doubles as large trash bags).  I think all stores should either do away with bags or start charging a premium that will really make people rethink (what would that take? A quarter a bag? A dollar a bag?).  Any bags used should also be biodegradable, so people can take them home, use them for trash, then not worry about them clogging up the landfills permanently.  The SunChips people have this great new compostable bag coming out that is completely biodegradable within weeks!  Wouldn’t it be awesome if supermarkets used that kind of material?

Next step is to start bringing my own mugs and bottles to be filled when I get fast food.

photo credit: puttputtproductions.com

I was born in the Year of the Ox and the month of the Capricorn.  Both are known to be stubborn creatures, which is something that I’ve most definitely inherited, for better or for worse.  Many of the things I chose to do in my life have been out of pure stubbornness – first to be able to say that I did it and second just to be different.  Of course, the more people try to get me to change my behavior, the more determined I get to stick to my principles, morals, and priorities.  I think I like the satisfaction of claiming that I don’t do this or that or that I have done something for this long.  Especially when it’s something most of the population would like to claim as well, I feel all the better about being able to stake my claim.

The three most prominent examples of this are what I will or will not ingest, my frequency of relocations and moves, and my persistence with my journal.  For each, though it may not always make sense for me to stick to my guns so strictly, I do so to preserve the idea that it’s always been that way.  I don’t like to compromise in any of these areas and it’s quite rare for me to do so, though I’ve been working on that lately, since some of what I do is truly unfounded or limiting.  At the same time, certain aspects I don’t plan on ever changing and that can be seen as a good or bad thing.  Ok, let me clarify what I mean by each of these examples then.

Lychee flavor!

First off are my peculiar food and drink preferences.  As many know, I do not drink alcohol, coffee, or energy drinks.  I also refuse to eat rubbery things like calamari, squid, and other such odd creatures.  I stay away from burgers, steak, lobster, and caviar.  I am especially strict with alcohol, also avoiding food cooked in it, chocolates with liqueur, and the like.  Even fermented food is a big no-no in my books, though some of these things have been unavoidably tasted at least once.  The more people try to pressure me to drink, the more resistant I am, even if it’s just a taste or small portion of wine.  I often get the “you know that it can actually be good for you, right?” and pay no heed – the costs far outweigh the benefits in my eyes.  I do, however, like to collect a few mini bottles here and there because they’re rather cute (plus, why would you ever drink it?  They’re too pretty!).

However, last year I did become curious and exasperated enough to try some beer (at age 22) and it was just as nasty as I thought it’d be, plus some.  So that experience only solidified my resolve to avoid alcohol.  I’m sure people will now focus on how I didn’t try wine or something lighter, fruitier, or whatever.  Perhaps one day I will sip some wine just to get them to leave me alone, but as of now I’ll just ignore their pleads that it can be good for my health.  In fact, I cherish an article I read recently about how the link that people draw between moderate drinking and good health may not be a causal effect, but actually be discounting many other possible factors that affect people’s drinking.  Even if there was solid proof, I’m not about to just follow suit.  I can eat blueberries and pomegranates for antioxidants and have fish oil and avocados for cardiovascular health.  No alcohol needed.

I avoid coffee and energy drinks for the caffeine, which I don’t want or need, plus coffee smells disgusting to me.  I like to do things naturally and without artificial aids whenever possible, so if I’m tired I take a nap.  If I’m pulling an all-nighter, I drink lots of water or tea.  I don’t need these extreme stimulants to affect my body in strange ways.

As for rubbery things, I’m not a fan of having to overwork my jaw or swallow large chunks of food.  The texture doesn’t appeal to me, so I stick to crab, shrimp, and scallops, which is seafood that I do like to eat.  This is not for health reasons, so I did try these “dong dong” shells in Singapore, since it’s a local thing.  Now, I’m not quite sure why I don’t like burgers – I think it stems from a gross one I saw in the cafeteria in my childhood.  I’ve stayed away ever since, though I have broken that to have about five in the past 15 years.

This doesn't look appetizing to me at all. photo credit: artvoice.com

Steak is just too thick for me and I hate how it usually comes at least somewhat pink.  I don’t really like meat that much, unless it’s very thinly sliced.  Lobster is something my mom and I have disagreed on for ages – she says I ate it as a kid and I refuse to believe that.  The only time I recall having it was in a dip, where the chunks were minimal.  I’m not interested in ever eating a full one.  And caviar has the same problem that rubbery things have in that I don’t like the texture.  I also stubbornly don’t like food that is high class and expensive (though it’s a coincidence that my taste buds prefer cheaper foods).

Secondly, I am persistent in my desire to move around because that’s how my life has always been.  I like being able to say I’ve never lived in the same city for more than 3 and 1/2 years consecutively.  I like having so many old homes and schools and jobs that I have to keep a list or else I’d forget.  I’m not the type of person to stay put and I enjoy that.  My friends are never really too surprised to hear of my escapades because I’m on the go far more than they usually are.  If for that reason alone, I want to keep moving around and not settle quite yet.  Of course, it also has to do with just being used to that lifestyle.

My most recent journal.

Finally, how many people can say they have kept a journal for 14 years?  I want to be able to, but I’m at 13 now and a year behind in catching up on entries.  Most people I tell say they tried to keep a journal, but that only lasted a week, a month, a year… I’ve yet to meet someone who’s managed for as long as I have.  And if only for the sake of being able to say that I have, I want to continue with it, whether or not it may be worth my while.  Ultimately I think it’ll be a great thing to draw from later on if I decide to write an autobiography (or if people want to look back on my life, though it’d certainly be a bit tedious – I’m already reaching 50 volumes and that’s A LOT of reading).

So you see, much of my motivations for these areas if because of my stubbornness to continue to do it like I always have (or at least since my childhood).  Generally, people respect my choices and think it’s good that I don’t drink and don’t rely on coffee or energy drinks for a boost.  They also think it’s crazy that I move so frequently, but respect my ability to do that as well.  And of course, everyone wishes they were able to keep the journal they always meant to have.  I like being the one who does.  The one who is able to stay away from alcohol, coffee, and energy drinks.  The one who doesn’t need or want to spend extorbitant amounts on steak, lobster, and caviar.  The one who has lived everywhere.  The one who has kept a journal for years.  The one who can, who has, and who will.

It’s nearing the time when I need to start looking for a job again.  As I prepare for my final weeks in this part of the world, I am reminded of the next stage to come.  Then, rather out of the blue, I received an e-mail yesterday, with a job opportunity that I was extremely interested in.  The benefit of having a business fraternity network is that I hear of a lot of openings that I otherwise would not have known about.  Plus, I could get a direct referral from my fellow brother who was about to leave the post for her next venture (it’s a co-ed organization, but since it’s a fraternity we refer to everyone as brothers).

So, I eagerly updated my résumé and drafted a cover letter after reviewing both my brother’s description of the position and the official one provided by the employer.  The duties include many overlaps with my interest areas and expertise, but also has plenty of room for growth and learning.  It’s with a company with a powerful reputation and a vibrant culture, so I’d love to be a part of that.  Also, the team itself is supposed to be a great one to work with and the only down side to this is that the tenure is for 6 months.  However, there’s a chance to get a full-time job from there, or to use this influential name to find a good job elsewhere.

For me, there is another constraint: I am still abroad at the time that they were hoping to hire.  That means that I first need to convince them to allow me to interview over Skype or an IM platform (which I have successfully done before with a recent job) and then I need to convince them to wait the two extra weeks for me to get back to start.  The odds are not high, but I have hope because it turns out that we got this e-mail request for applicants because the ones who they’d seen so far weren’t very impressive.  If they like me enough, I think they’ll find a way to bend the rules, since it’s not that far off from what they wanted.  Plus it’s such late notice, if they’re desperate enough, it could work out.  We’ll see!

photo credit: bc.edu

In the mean time, I’ll wrap things up here before I begin my job search in earnest next month.  Panda’s been helping me look through listings to see if there’s anything I may like and I’ll use his account to browse some opportunities on a database maintained by our school.  I’ve got some ideas of types of companies to look for and I plan on visiting the Institute of the Environment at school when I get back to ask about local environmental companies.  Once again I’m not in a rush to start working, as it was when I first graduated in December.  This Singapore opportunity came up rather unexpectedly; I hadn’t planned on working for a few months.  I’m back in that boat again, where I will pursue opportunities that come my way, but I’m not too concerned about landing a job right away.  If I need money I can look to an old job I had, working on an independent contractor basis. 

The type of work that I’m good at leans towards internal support – I usually do research for our business development.  It’s the stuff that fades to the background and gets lost among the crowd of client accounts we’re handling.  It’s what tends to be ignored or forgotten, and is hardly ever recognized.  Yet, it’s critical to any organization, as it is for ours, since we need to stay up-to-date with developments in the field and have articles to reference to create new programs.  I’m used to being in the background unseen, like stage crew in their black outfits to blend in with the darkness.  Unfortunately, when you aren’t seen, sometimes your effects are not felt or understood very well and this can create a sense of mystery about what work you do.  If people don’t know what you’re working on, they’ll often draw the conclusion that you’re not really doing anything – after all, where are the results?

It can get pretty overwhelming. photo credit: awriterinthedesert.wordpress.com

Well, in the field of research, a lot of time is spent searching and filtering through information with little result to show.  So though a lot of time and effort goes into producing just one little thing, all others see is that one thing you did produce.  Nobody knows how many different ways you had to look and all the reading you scoured to get to the end result; after all, it’s only what you find that is relevant that matters.  And to them, this looks like it could be easily accomplished, so your work tends to get discounted in the process.  There’s a lot of room for misunderstandings and certainly a lot will occur.  So, in an effort to curtail this, I’ve decided to take a more proactive approach.  Whereas before I would just report that I’m doing research as I always do, with nothing exciting to update, now I’ve chosen to mention more specifically what I’m doing.

In a way, it’s just to save my own butt – after all, all the stuff we’re doing for clients gets recorded, but the internal stuff doesn’t.  I don’t want people to look back and wonder what in the world was going on for business development efforts.  I want them to see all the areas we were exploring and see the contributions that I made.  This is something I’ve known intuitively for a long time.  After I started here, I kept a running list of things that I had worked on so I could look back and appreciate what I’ve done and what I learned from that.  This way I have solid proof and examples to use when I look back on my experience and I can at least vaguely measure how I grew professionally.  For this line of work, you either need to stand up for yourself or just allow yourself to be used as a stepping stone for the other work.  There won’t be anyone to look out for you and make sure that your efforts are recognized, save for the leader who notices and appreciates (like Starfish, who made a point to thank Skim and I for our work).

First chair recognizing the rest of the orchestra. photo credit: merinospace.com

I think it’s something important for any leader to look out for.  When you don’t neglect those who often are, it means a lot to them.  In any team, you will need people to be front runners and, in musical terms, first chair.  However, it’s equally important that you have a strong “second fiddle” and entire orchestra to truly play wonderful music.  Without those to harmonize, you’re left with a solo act that can have its own benefits, but will never compare to an entire symphony.  Only by taking care of all your people can the engine of the business run smoothly.  It’s a good lesson for my future intentions to start my own firm.  The problem is, I’m going to need to be more of a first chair to be able to start a company.  I could try to find a business partner to be my counterpart, but being second fiddle doesn’t mean I don’t want to be recognized.  It just means that with my skills, I’m better at producing a different type of sound to complement that of first chair.  I guess the question is: Do I have the willpower to take on both roles?

I often really wish that I had one thing I am extremely good at.  I admire the people who are leaders in their field, whether it’s scientific research, musical ability, sports prowess, or business sense.  If only I had such talent and discipline to join their ranks.  Instead, I’m the type of person who dabbles in a lot of areas and has a good breadth of knowledge and skill.  But my depth?  Lacking.  It’s the curse of the jack of all trades: master of none.  And though I look up to the people who are recognized as the cream of the crop, I’m not sure that I actually want to be like that, though if I was, it’d be nice.

I love swimming, but not that much!

I typically to get bored with doing the same thing for prolonged periods, so I don’t know if I could stand to dedicate so much of my life to a singular goal.  Instead, I like broadly knowing more things and being well-rounded.  A little bit of this, a little bit of that.  I guess it comes from my nomadic life and social butterfly tendencies.  Which makes me great as a search engine, but not so much as a dictionary or encyclopedia.  There are certain pros and cons, of course, as with anything.  After all, people like me can be useful for linking things, finding things, and uniting things.  So it can be useful to get a basic idea from me, then be referred to someone with more expertise.  Still, I don’t want to be a complete generalist and I’d like to have one or two items that I can be a specialist in.

I guess that’s why it’s hard for me to identify a passion.  I really like a lot of things, but I don’t really LOVE anything more than my other interests.  Therefore, it’s hard for me to decide on a passion to pursue when I have so many that I’m excited about and none that I want to give up everything else for to focus on.  If only it was as simple and straightforward as knowing my one great passion and doggedly pursuing it day after day.  At least then I’d have a direction, a purpose.  As of yet, I’m still looking.  So, I truly respect the people out there who know what they want to spend their lives doing.  For me, it’s less obvious and that in itself will be a learning journey.

I just finished powering through a book called Turning It On by Robin Speculand, which is basically a collection of stories for the business world meant to be fables of sorts – they all have a specific point and lesson to be learned.  There were some great points I took from it, though I feel at this point in my development, nothing is new except the way and how well it is presented to me.  I mean, I know all this information, but hearing it again and again is what will help grill it into my life and make good habits out of them.  As the 7X7 Rule of Communication states, tell it 7 different times in 7 different ways!  So, though sometimes it feels repetitive, I push on in the hopes that these constant reminders will guide my behavior down a good path.

Fear makes my heart hurt!

Now what I came across that did intrigue me was a new way of putting an old idea: FEAR.  In this case, it’s “False Evidence which Appears Real” and the four most common ones that are identified are fear of failure, rejection, being wrong, and emotional discomfort.  Funny, I was just talking about this with Starfish yesterday, because I often hold myself back, too afraid to jump for fear of all but the last one, pretty much.  I spend so much time thinking and analyzing, but my fear is what keeps me from putting everything into action.  It’s also what creates a lot of self-doubt, which otherwise is really not justified.  I don’t horrible feedback and I haven’t had a traumatic experience, yet I worry about so many things and how they are wrong, wrong, wrong.  And I hate to be wrong!

Part of the reason I believe in reminding myself is because for something like this that is so ingrained in my way of thinking and framing things, it’s very challenging to change.  But of course, I must strive for nothing but, since it’s obvious that I’m missing out on a lot, whether actually accomplishing what I dream of or learning valuable lessons from my stumbles, falls, and the resulting bruises.  I’m fine with physically tripping and messing up, but I dread doing so professionally and personally in the work that I do and the ways that I handle things.  Alas, so much of life is learning from your experiences (which inevitably include mistakes).  Just knowing I need to work on this doesn’t make it any easier and doesn’t make it happen any faster, but at least I am aware and trying right?  Right?

So, reading about this new way of putting fear really struck a chord with me since this is the very thing I am struggling the most to overcome internally.  After all, I can get a lot of outside support, but I need to change my mentality to truly stop behaving in a timid, fearful manner.  I’m not very good at it, but I think I’m better or at least more willing to consider facing and overcoming my fears.  It’s so strange that I am so hesitant when I’ve had certain failures that I have put behind me and nothing so terrible has happened because of them.  So why, why is it still such a challenge?!

Perhaps it is time for some soul searching of sorts (in terms of career potential).

Demoing health food forever?

A few weeks ago, Starfish requested a list of my passions to help me figure out what I want to do and where I can go.  It was surprisingly harder than I thought – after all, who doesn’t know what they love, right?  Yet, it seems that my trouble is what I truly love not always being a viable source of work to pursue.  First let me share what I came up with:

~ emerging forms of media (especially social media at the moment)

~ people’s stories (whether hearing them or sharing them)

~ observing people (their behavior, interactions, and body language)

~ novel things, places, and experiences (travel, broad interactions)

~ health issues (diet and exercise/fitness, organic/all-natural foods)

~ environmentalism (conservation, recycling, and sustainability)

My darling Simon. How can you not find him adorable?

~ volunteering with animals (mostly cats)

~ background/support work (researching, planning)

~ the military (particularly the Marine Corps!)

Ok, so where does that put me?

1. I’ve hardly used social media enough to claim expertise as so many do.  However, I am very dedicated to my blog and have made it a point to post on a daily basis.  Still, at best, this would be a supplementary service for some sort of package integrated marketing consultation service.

2. Though I like to hear people’s stories, I’m certainly not interested in journalism nor do I feel like the right vessel to help share those stories.  I’m also not that great a storyteller.  I have had dreams about talking to homeless people to find out how they got into their situation and then helping to groom them to reintegrate to society.

3. Noticing the little nuances in how people go about their days doesn’t exactly translate into a career and is more of an enhancement to how I learn to deal with people.  Maybe I’ll start a little side blog with snippets of the things I observe.

One of my favorite views - out a plane window.

4. Being introduced to new people, new places, and new things would be a cool temporary thing to do or a nice addition to my job, but isn’t exactly a career in itself if I want to settle down.  This is where my dream of competing in The Amazing Race comes into play.

5. I’m not enough of a fitness or health food nut to delve into this so deeply.  At best I could be an advocate for eating less meat to save the environment, eating organic and local to save your community, and exercising regularly and eating well to save yourself.

6. I’ve been doing a lot of research and reading in the green field, since it is what I want to build a company from sometime in my life.  Starfish made a very wise suggestion in mentioning I can start to attend conferences of the sort, get involved in the field.  I’ll certainly be looking into that (hopefully there are free ones).  I’ve been meaning to go to the UCLA Institute of the Environment to see if there’s anything I can get involved in.

My precious Jerriey. Great for stress relief.

7. I actually started looking at cat sitting services and boarding houses to see the rates they charge at.  I’m not sure how I would handle spending time with all these adorable felines and not getting to keep them.  I think I’m more of a cat owner at heart, though I do like to go play with and take care of them at shelters.

8. Researching and other support work is yet another one of those things that I prefer to use to enhance my work rather than to define my work.

Yeah, I wanted to be one of them. The first Marines I ever encountered.

9. Once upon a time I had fantasies about being a Marine.  Then lots of things got in the way and I decided that I was not meant for that path.  However, my love/obsession/fascination for the military will always be strong, so I’d love to find a way to work with them.  At one point I considered trying to do their marketing.  That’s still an option…

What really invigorates me?  Sitting at my computer reading articles about green technology, environmentally-friendly

One of the half dozen military boot camps I went to. They're strangely invigorating for body and mind. That's me holding the red guide-on!

products, and fresh wholesome natural food.  Spending time with and observing animals.  Traveling around the world and getting a peek at the lives of others so different from mine.  Hearing about the interesting backstories of people’s lives.  Spending time alone pondering and introspecting; also, watching people pass me by.  Contemplating (and trying to go out and do) fun ways to be fit and well.  Hearing about anything related to the military.

What I’m really looking for is freedom.  Freedom to sleep in and stay up ridiculously late.  Freedom to get work done in different places on different days.  Freedom to meet new people and learn new things all the time.  Freedom to step away from society.  Freedom to be on my own.  Freedom to think.

At the same time, I want financial security.  Enough to live comfortably, to support a family, and to send the kids off to college without loans looming over them.  Basically, what I had the privilege of growing up with.  There are few gifts like responsible and successful parents who allow you to start your working life loan-free.  I’d like to be able to provide that as well.  In terms of long-term career goals, my main focus is sustainability in all aspects – mentally, emotionally, financially, physically.

So… any ideas?

Today I got followed by @nanyate on Twitter and I was intrigued enough to go to her blog because of an offer for free SoyJoy for your office!  Turns out she’s one of five bloggers competing at SoyJoy‘s GI Joy challenge.  I’ll admit, I was tempted by her offer of a free customized WordPress theme!  Nonetheless, I love to help people out, so I went to vote for her and posted on Twitter about it.  The person who helps her generate the most votes will earn her prize.  I don’t know how she can track it, but hey, no harm in trying, right?  So everyone, go vote for her!  Her name is Ivy and she’s the girl shown doing the half squat that the SoyJoy commercials have been using.

Ok, now that the backstory is out of the way, let me get to the point.  I am a huge fan of “about” pages, so of course, what else did I do after being entertained by the SoyJoy challenge she wrote about but go check her story out?  Turns out she has a fabulously-written and immensely cute section dedicated to who she is.  Not only do you get the basics of her life like her educational background, but she also has five “Ivy the _____” sections detailing herself in different roles.  It was from here that I learned of this term third culture kid, which apparently means someone who moved abroad with their parents and took both their culture of origin and their culture of assimilation to create a kind of mesh of cultures, or a third culture.  As such, they tend to consider themselves more of citizens of the world than of any particular country.  As I was reading through the description, I kept thinking to myself, “Gosh, that sounds like my life.”  Yet, I felt like something was off and that I shouldn’t fit the bill, even though I moved with my parents and my culture is very much a confused mix of both cultural influences.

Adopting both cultures.

Initially, I thought that maybe it was because these people moved later in life, like after they had started school in their birth country, but from the description, plenty of people could have moved as toddlers and still be considered TCKs.  So why, then did I feel like I shouldn’t belong?  Well, it turns out that I came across one line that made is all clear to me: “TCKs are distinguished from other immigrants by the fact that TCKs do not expect to settle down permanently in the places where they live.”  Ah ha!  I knew there was a tangible difference in being a first/second generation American and being a TCK!  And it’s a critical difference – I plan on spending the rest of my life with my home base in my adopted country whereas they plan on returning to their country of origin, so their immigration is always temporary, transient.  So in the end, I am an immigrant but they are essentially visitors, passing through (even if that takes many years).  We’ll both adopt certain parts of the cultures that we come from and live in, but in different ways and for different purposes.

Well, in reading about all of that, it led me to the idea of being a cosmopolite – someone who is cosmopolitan.  I’ve never really paid attention to the word, probably because of the magazine that takes its name, which I find to be too focused on looks and being superficial.  I never thought of it as a useful way to convey being “at home in all parts of the world,” so I guess it was meant for the meaning of “conversant with many spheres of interest.”  Mostly I think they were just going with the image of being “sophisticated and cultured” without actually really going for a well-traveled woman.  Whatever the case, this is the first time I’ve actually given a second thought to the term and I find that I connect with the description quite well (except for the sophisticated part, perhaps… I don’t know if I can claim that much).  I feel like I am made up of many components from around the world, can feel comfortable in all parts of the world, and can connect with many spheres of interest.  This is exactly the look and feel I was going for in my most recent LiveJournal blog – a jetsetter who is elegant and sophisticated.  Well-cultured, well-mannered, and well-read.  So thank you Ivy for leading me to give this term a chance, this word that so describes what I’m striving for.

Ok, I can’t help it.  I don’t like to post two things in a row that are too similar, but I just finished watching Amazing Race and there are so many thoughts going through my head!  Like I remembered that yesterday I forgot to mention the language barriers that you deal with when you are in a foreign country.  Also, some of the later episodes in China made me look at my own Chinese language skills as compared to Tammy and Victor Jih’s.  And then of course, I’ve been imagining in my head who I could do it with and how we would approach it.  I can’t even sort out all the random thoughts I’ve had while watching this latest season!  I wonder what the other seasons are like and how many more they’re going to have…

Excuse me? What did you say?

To start off with, let me revisit my own experiences in traveling around Europe and the language barriers it presented.  At the very beginning, when I showed up at my new flat in England excited for a year studying abroad, I ran into some trouble.  NEVER did I think I wouldn’t be able to understand the British!  Yet, amazingly, I found myself seated with my flatmates around the kitchen table that night, bewildered at how I could hardly identify what they were speaking as English.  Only Llama had what you would consider a “proper” British accent (aka BBC newsworthy).  Everyone else’s accents ranged from the Yorkshire boys’ to the London girl’s.  Now that’s one thing you don’t really hear about – that they have huge differences in regional accents!  They’re nearly their own dialects.  Thankfully, a few hours of listening to them and I started to understand the patterns and process what they were saying.

But then came the true test during that 5-week spring break (or Easter vacation, as they consider it) when I went traipsing around the rest of Europe.  Though many countries spoke English to some degree, there was a lot of gesturing, pointing on maps, writing out names, and general confusion.  Luckily, I could usually get a map in each place, so at least I didn’t have to try to butcher the pronunciations of the places I was trying to get to.  It was also useful to have my basic knowledge of French, which helped a bit with Spanish, Portuguese, and Italian as well.  However, visuals and physical interaction are usually your best friends in this case.  I always thought it’s funny how people still talk out loud in their own language, even when the other party is not understanding a word of it.  It’s useful though – sometimes the intonation can clue you in or a word will pop out at you.  I find interacting with those who don’t understand you a most interesting challenge.

The complete opposite also happened to me on a train ride from Italy to Hungary, going through countries like Croatia and Slovenia.  I was in a room with three other people and they each spoke three, four, and five languages.  The only common one we had was English, so they tried to stick to that, but at points they’d slip into some Italian or German before remembering me and coming back to English.  Sigh.  I wish I was multilingual like that!  One of my neverending goals it to retain my Chinese, but also to regain my French skills that have been lost over the years in college.  I’d like to see the day when I can claim I’m trilingual at least.  Oh, and I want to learn Cantonese as well, which Panda can start teaching me.  I’m scared of the pronunciations though.  We’ll have to see when I make the time for these ambitions!

Hey, I've been there too!

As for the language skills I do have, they’re patchy.  Though my Mandarin accent is near perfect and very standard (aka China newsworthy), my reading skills are quite lacking.  I don’t know if I would have been able to read all the characters in the calligraphy that they did, though the dish names would have been easy for me to pronounce, whether or not I was able to figure out what they translated to.  I think speech-wise, Tammy and Victor’s diction was a bit stiff and sounded foreign.  This happens a lot with people who learn the language by the book – they never really pick up on slang terms or colloquialisms.  Oh, and those translations for what they were saying… who did them?!  Sometimes it was completely off, though it didn’t really affect the main idea of what was going on.  However, their reading skills seemed a little better than mine (though I don’t know if they were told the words first or just read them themselves, since the calligraphers they were talking to seemed to have said what they were writing).  All in all I think I’d do similarly to the Jihs in our motherland.

Forget just seeing the Bird's Nest - how about being in it?

Finally, I kept imagining myself with Panda and how we’d deal with it, but I don’t know how plausible that would actually be.  I’m considering applying just to see if we can get through, but I have a media angle on us that I want to wait on.  Plus, he’d need to get out of school first and have the flexibility to be able to go on the show.  I can’t imagine him taking a quarter off to do something like this and you certainly can’t take three/four weeks off in a quarter system and catch up in a class!  Let’s hope the show lasts quite a long time!  Yes, I’m actually seriously considering this.  No harm in trying, right?  And though I was worried about opportunities to enjoy the cities during the race, I figure if you can win it you can always go back!  I know I’m dreaming big here, but it’s something I can fantasize about and look forward to, whether or not we actually do try someday.  However, in thinking of this and how we would face challenges involving our fears or dislikes, I worry about our ability to overcome and try.  It looks a lot easier when someone else does it, but I guess being in the right mentality during the game kind of gets you to do whatever you need to fight to the finish.  Does Panda have that competitive spirit?  I’m not sure this is his sort of adventure.

Grr I am strong too!

So, then I started to think, who else could I do it with?  And you know what, I began to entertain the thought of trying out with my best friend, Katana.  She’s athletic, well-traveled, and super competitive.  Whereas I would definitely lead a lot with Panda, partly because I am more aggressive and partly because I am in more familiar territory than he, with Katana I’m not sure how things would play out.  Though I’m generally a peacekeeper, that would more of show in the way I’d interact with other teams.  However, in the way that I’d approach the game, Katana and I might have some serious headbutts to contend with when I chose to assert myself.  Otherwise, she’s the more aggressive and assertive out of the two of us, hands down.  We’d have an advantage because of our experiences abroad and our comfort in traveling.  Plus, if I do commit to trying out, I’d be sure to start preparing my body for it, getting back in the pool regularly and returning to my track and field days as well.  Gosh, I’m really starting to dream with this one.  So what say you, Katana?  Season 16?  (They’ve already held interviews and such for the upcoming 15th season.)  We’ve still got a shot at being the first female duo to take it away!