Posts Tagged ‘people’

The crazies next door

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , , ,

At work, we’ve had about half of the floor for the past two years and now we’re taking over the rest of it. It’s nice to have the place to ourselves and my colleagues and I were reminiscing about some of the strange folks who worked across the way.

For the most part, it seemed to be the bathroom behavior of the ladies that drew a lot of raised eyebrows from our office. For example, many of these ladies would take phone calls in the restroom. Didn’t matter if they were in a stall or just standing by the sinks, it was awkward. Who wants to walk in on a phone conversation and have to do your business?


I mean, I understand that they’re a more traditional office so they can’t take calls in their space, but there’s plenty of hallway and it’s not hard to hop on an elevator to stroll around the lobby or even outside. It got to the point where someone actually printed a sign to ask them to take their calls outside the restroom.

Then there was a random woman who would apparently bang her head on the wall, consistently and very much out in the open by the paper towel dispenser. I never actually ran into that situation, but two of my colleagues described it and one said that when she asked the woman if she was ok, she was ignored. Maybe this was some sort of trance? Again, not something that makes you comfortable walking into a restroom.

And then there were the grooming habits that went on in there, with folks washing their faces, brushing their teeth, flossing, or even applying nail polish. I don’t understand why any of these matters would be so urgent that you must do it midday at your office (usually around 2 pm). I mean, if it was at the end of the day, I can see how you might need to tidy up before going straight to an evening event. But when you’re still going to be sitting at the office for a few more hours, what is that really accomplishing?

Granted, these behaviors were certainly less odd, but the most uncomfortable was the flosser who would let things fly out of her mouth and never clean the sink area when she was done. Ick. For someone who seems to care about hygiene, that is not a very hygienic behavior.

And finally, for those who did take their calls in the hallway, there was always one girl who seemed to argue on every single call and have no qualms about airing her laundry (dirty or not). You’d think private conversations would either not be spoken so loudly or be taken somewhere out of the way. Alas, she did neither and nearly all of our office heard her complaints at one point or another. Yet another awkward situation to walk into and ignore.

Suffice it to say, we do not miss the oddballs in bathroom or hallway. Funny enough, they apparently found us odd. It seems that our choice of clothing – not business casual – was something for them to raise their eyebrows over. Good thing they don’t work out west! I can only imagine how they’d react to flip flops, hoodies, and board shorts if our everyday wear was strange to them. So I guess we’re all crazy in someone else’s eyes.

How to discern a person’s character

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , , , ,

I’ve found that one of the easiest ways to tell someone’s character is by how they treat those they don’t particularly like and don’t (think they’ll) need.

So often, people focus their attention on those they want or need something from and neglect all others. They may be nice to their family because of the intrinsic tie, to bosses because of their influence, or simply to people they like because they enjoy the company. But it’s easy to be good when you want to get something out of it.

What would you do when you ran into someone you did not get along with? Would you duck your head and go another way? Would you grit your teeth and try to be cordial? Would you sneer a bit and let them know how you feel? Or would you attempt to make a friend or at least acquaintance of them?

I’ve met some people who really rubbed me the wrong way. I remember one girl who had a good heart, but she was just so needy with attention that she went out of her way to get it. She’d bake you a cake or buy you something to try to win your affection. Some people were wooed by that, but it grated on me because it felt so fake. I mostly tolerated her, but every now and then when it got extremely excessive, I honestly shared my opinions with her. Admittedly, I’m not a very patient person and if our social lives did not intersect, I would have steered clear. I find it better to avoid conflict like that.

A few folks I’ve known weren’t quite so nice. There was one girl who would target me whenever she had a complaint about my friends and I, as if I was the only person causing the problem. I think it was because I was the only name she knew. I found it very rude the way that she haughtily came to ask us to change our behavior, like she’d never had a day of fun in her whole life. In fact, I’m not sure she ever smiled and she had the worst resting face I’ve seen. It always looked like she was fuming or glaring at you. When she finally moved on to somewhere else, she never even told any of us that she was leaving. You can tell she didn’t bother with making any friends there.

Another one in particular was rude, disrespectful, and outright mean at times. I don’t know where all that hate came from, but I can’t stand that sort of thing. What really bothered me was the fact that she was two-faced, putting on a smile for people she liked, respected, or needed to get along with. Me? I had no impact on her life and she did not like me, so she held little back. Normally I’d keep my distance as much as possible and not waste time thinking about her awful personality, but sometimes our paths inevitably intersect and I can’t help but wish that more people would see through her facade.

This then begs the question: would you rather be ignored and not noticed or ridiculed when noticed? Which is the lesser evil here? In a sense, if you’re being bullied, you’re being noticed. What if you mattered so little to people that they didn’t even pay attention to your existence? What scenario would make you feel more inferior?

I personally would prefer to be ignored. At least then you’re not subjected to cruelty. It may make you feel small to not be noticed at all, but it’s easier to deal with. With bullying, try as you might to convince yourself that you’re being targeted because of an innate security from the bully, or even jealousy, it’s hard to accept that mindset. What do you think?

I’m trying hard to not let negativity like that into my life. It’s sad that they are so lacking in positive emotions and healthy relationships, but I can’t help but mull over it more than I ever should. I always wonder if there’s something I could do to make things different. Ultimately, it’s up to them to stop perpetuating that negativity and it’s up to me to keep those influences out. If I have to, I might need to remove myself from the situation that keeps me tied to these poisonous people. I’d rather be happier somewhere else.

On meanness

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , , , , ,

Dear Universe:

Why must there be unkindness in the world? Why are there those people out there who are so selfish and self-absorbed they see nothing else beyond themselves? Why are there those people out there who seem to revel in the suffering of others? Why are there those people out there who put others beneath them?

I’ve had the misfortune of knowing some unsavory people. Kind of like those “mean girls” you hear about. They’re cliquey and make everyone outside of their group feel unwanted and undesirable. They’ll only be nice to you to get something from you (or trick you into thinking they’d changed, only to pull the rug out from under you). They take pleasure out of making fun of people, or at least that seems to be the only type of humor that actually makes them crack a smile.

Or, alternatively, why is there a bit of a mean streak in so many of us? There have been a couple of guys (and a gal or two) I’ve known throughout my life who have been viewed as a bit of an outcast. People would snicker behind their backs about their awkwardness or their strange choice of dress or whatever. They’d giggle to each other about some joke that he (or she) was the butt of. Few people were true friends to these unfortunate souls who didn’t quite fit in. I’d usually be nice enough to them, but I can’t say I embraced them as friends.

I generally try to be kind to people, but I’ve certainly fallen victim to this trap of ego (or whatever it is). There are people I’ve judged, probably unfairly, based on some trait of theirs that may not have defined them the way I let it. But to be consistently that way? To exclude people at every turn? I just don’t understand people like that. It makes me sad that anyone would find pleasure in feeling superior to so many around them. I try to just ignore it, but it’s hard to when I care so much.

I wish we could all be nicer creatures. Life already provides so many ups and downs; what purpose does making it harder for others serve? Oh right, to boost those people’s self-esteem. Selfish. There are those who would say to let it go, let karma take its course. But you know what? Karma doesn’t always get its timing right. Some people never get that kick in the butt they deserve in their lifetime. Life just isn’t fair.

But I sure wish it could be more so.

So hey, if you’re in a good mood, why don’t you make some more stars align and bring out more harmony? Our species could certainly use it.



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