Money woes

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: ,
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You know, money can become a major inconvenience when you’re out of the country.  Thankfully, in this day and age it’s rather convenient, what with accounts accessible online, but nonetheless I find it difficult to get things done as efficiently.  With tax season in full swing, I am getting concerned about filing my own tax returns this time around.  There’s a form that I need that I don’t believe I have, but being away makes it difficult for me to ensure I have it in time for the deadline.

Then there’s the issue of bank accounts, which I am considering opening up here, but then I have to figure out how to close it down and withdraw the money at the end of it all.  I’ve thought of just living off cash, but that is too risky and not taking advantage of ways I might be able to make my money work harder for me if I deposited it.  I’ve considered trying to use PayPal, which gives decent rates, or figuring some other way to get my paychecks deposited into something useful.

Let’s not even mention the headache of deciding if keeping my money in SGD or USD is more advantageous.  Ironic that I studied Econ when I rather dislike financial analysis.  Don’t even get me started on stocks, bonds, mutual funds, CDs, IRAs, 401ks, etc… all that talk makes my head spin.  Unfortunately, it is also stuff that I am going to have to get more and more familiar with in the coming years as I try to manage my money effectively.  Sigh.

Bothersome bugs?

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Why do people have this aversion to bugs (and amphibians and reptiles)?  Generally they are not going to hurt you and if you just let them be, they will not bother you too.  Yet, it seems that a dislike for these creatures is widespread, from girls who squeal and hide to guys who rush off in a different direction.  Reactions and distaste can range from just avoiding them as much as possible to chasing after them in an attempt to kill them.  But for me, it’s a completely different story.

I know that my own fascination for them stems from my upbringing in the plains of Kansas and interactions with a lot of boys.  When you grow up without being taught to fear or even dislike those critters, but rather play with them and use them as your personal scientific discoveries, it’s hard to want to run from them or kill them.  I remember days on the playground spent thinking of the best ways to catch the grasshoppers that would jump so far, the butterflies that flitted around so high, the praying mantises that would blend into the grass, the spiders that would scuttle so quickly, or the worms that would squirm away into the ground.  I was always so interesting to see all that they could do, from jumping long distances to flying great heights to doing crazy disappearing acts.

Sometimes in my explorations I would accidentally kill the creatures, but eventually I learned how to take care of them and keep them alive.  I even developed a theory that praying mantises will go blind in captivity after one that I was playing with at home developed black eyes that were blind.  I learned how to test he it was blind by slowly moving my finger or a blade of grass towards him.  When he didn’t react as he had done previously, I was quite certain he could not see.  Saddened by this, I took him outside and let him back into the grass, following him around as he moved slowly along the ground.  I don’t know how long this lasted, but at some point, his eyes became clear again!  Then when I tried to get too close, he then scrambled off, probably cursing me in his head, if he’s capable of that.  Look at how educational it can be!

However, there are some bugs that I don’t like either, mostly mosquitoes.  I find them interesting nonetheless, but ultimately annoying with their buzzing and affinity for my blood.  I get a morbid sense of pleasure when I hear them zap in those blue light things that you turn on at night to kill them off.  Yet even with that, I can’t help but be curious about why they make that sound, why they are attracted to the light so much, if it hurts, etc.  Learning about other forms of life make you question all kinds of things about life!  It can be an educational experience if you question all the whys and hows.

These experiences and preferences can work for me in a good or bad sense.  Good in that I am not afraid of them, so I can come in quite useful in getting them out of a room or away from an area, but bad in that I usually don’t want to and can’t kill them, much to my friends’ dismay.  Don’t you find it fascinating that this thing can fly?  Or make silk strands so strong they are virtually indestructible?  Or climb walls or hang around upside down?  Personally, this intrigues me beyond normal curiosity and it gives me a great deal of respect for them.  I think they’re rather cool.

Why look for aliens when you’ve got so many strange life forms in your backyard?

Sounding board

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I spent nearly two hours discussing ideas and philosophies with a coworker today, as he shared with me his thoughts and observations and I expressed some of my own.  Though we see things from very different angles, I respect him as a capable person who is good at what he does.  However, his motivations and mine are vastly different, so the way we approach and think about things is quite unlike the other.

I do find him to be a good sounding board though, and that is why I like to discuss things with him.  When you spend time having to defend yourself and your beliefs, it forces you to reevaluate things and really have good reasons for what you believe.  People who think differently will ask different kinds of questions.  It gives you a chance to examine things so much more thoroughly.

Ultimately, you may come up with many backup plans to try to prevent as many glitches as possible.  It can be quite useful.  Someone may look at the big picture and someone else may look at the little details, or someone may think of the concept while someone else thinks of the logistics.  It’s not always bad to have a foil, though that commonly seems have a bad connotation.  As long as you can learn to work with each other, it can be very effective.

There’s a lot to be learned!

Pervasive American culture

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Talk about a powerhouse.  I am constantly surprised at all the speeches that I hear overseas that include references to America this, America that.  I mean, I know that American culture is infecting other countries, but in every area, from social to political to scientific, I am reminded again and again just how effectively this seems to be occurring.  Ok, so they watch American TV dramas and movies, fair enough.  Hollywood is the mecca for the entertainment industry after all.  But must it also be mentioned when referencing research, political philosophies, or economic analyses?  (I’m not talking about the current economy "crisis" here – I can understand how talk of that can stem from the states.)

This happened yesterday at the 30th Annual Speak Mandarin Campaign that I was given the chance to attend.  The Minister Mentor (aka big shot of Singapore) was there as the guest of honor to deliver a speech encouraging Sinagporeans to continue to embrace the Mandarin language and master it as they have English.  In his speech, he referenced some research done in the states and that got me thinking about how I’ve never gone to an event that didn’t mention something from America.  Likewise, even my lectures in England contained US material!  What a strange phenomenon.  Here I thought I was getting away from all that and had to learn to adjust and relearn.

From my perspective, it’s interesting to hear about these issues and listen to what other nations have to say about my "home" country.  Sometimes (actually, a lot of the times), Americans are contained within their little bubble that it’s shocking and eye-opening to see things from another angle, hear another voice.  Though I generally associate myself with the US and think of myself as American (well, Chinese-American), there are times when I feel rather detached from it all.  In the end though, the country has given me a lot of great opportunities and provided a life for my parents and I that would not have been possible anywhere else (as far as I know, anyway).

Whether good or bad, I like to hear news about the states.  I feel more connected to it when it is talked about by non-residents, possibly because I cannot always identify with how they feel.  Everyone seems to have their opinion on the US, from dumbfounded admiration to unbridled disgust.  For me, it’s a matter of this journey of learning more about how the country I grew up in and the culture I grew up with fits into the world.  I tend to be more on the self-righteous side just because I have a certain level of patriotism for the country that may not have been perfect, but certainly has been good to me.

I think a lot of the viewpoints we hold are due to the way we choose to interpret things.  Some people may be offended by things that others find hilarious or just not a big deal.  Meanwhile, others may be greatly affected by things that others don’t pay attention to.  And though I have faced my own challenges and hardships, I am still so much more lucky than most of this world.  Now I do think it’s kind of cool that so many American references are made, but I hope that that is not corrupting the beauty of other cultures.  After all, how boring would the world be with everyone doing things the same way, believing the same ideas, and liking the same things?

When cheese starts to stink

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No, this is not about food.  Rather, it is about a couple that Marylin and I encountered on the bus ride home.  There we were, innocently sitting there on our trek home when a girl plopped down on the seat across from me.  Her boyfriend stood beside her and got dangerously close.  In fact, he was nearly on top of her.  Since I was facing that way, I couldn’t help but notice them from time to time.  That is when my mind started to register the yellow shirts they were wearing.

Now, at first that didn’t seem like a huge deal.  Maybe they just both were in the mood for yellow t-shirts that day.  But then I saw the design on them: matching cartoons.  You know the “Little Miss” characters?  Yeah.  That is what opened my eyes to their black pants.  They were thus deemed the “bumblebee couple” for their color choice.  Well, now that I had noticed a pattern, their matching chain bracelets popped out at me too.  I saw a tattoo on the girl’s hand and even started to scan the guy’s hands for a similar marking.  Thank goodness I didn’t find one, or else I may have been consumed with nausea (partly contributed to by the bus movement).

I don’t mean to judge, but why would you EVER want to match your partner like that?  Unless it’s a costume party or a uniform you two must both wear to school or work, it’s just not cool.  The time and effort spent on that is a sad waste of time that could be much better spent.  If it’s accidental, it can be forgiven once or twice, but a consistent pattern probably points to a serious excess of time.  Is it just us or is that behavior that should never catch on?  I admit, I can be really cheesy sometimes, but even this is too much for me.  You can be cutesy with each other in private all you want, but too much PDA is just disconcerting.

The divergence of languages

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: ,
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Every now and then I hear a phrase that is so British English that I can’t help but notice.  Today, for some reason, it was "full stop" that caught my attention.  It was just a conversation drifting over my head, one that I was loosely hearing, but not really paying attention to.  I was rather focused on my own work until I heard that term.  Full stop.  Period.  It’s something I would never use, except in the context of making a full stop at a stop sign (which I rarely do, what with the popularity of rolling stops in California).  It is far more comfortable for me to say "period."

This got me thinking about a myriad of other terms that I don’t normally use, like 5er (a five pound note) or alight (get off).  In fact, alight throws me off quite often – for some reason I always think of that as getting on the subway, rather than getting off.  It has always fascinated me, this divergence of language.  Certain terms in certain regions vary greatly, as shown in the classic confusing case of fries (American) versus chips (British) and chips (American) versus crisps (British).  It interested me enough for me to keep an extensive list of everything I came across in my time in England that varied from popular American usage, whether it was a different spelling, different term, or different meaning.

Chinese has diverged even more, with Cantonese and Mandarin being so different verbally that neither can understand the other without training.  How peculiar for a language to split so drastically, yet remain the same (pretty much) in written form.  Granted, there is still a disparity between traditional and simplified forms of writing, but generally they are similar.  What I don’t understand is how this came to be when this was supposed to be a united country that developed these differences.  At least for Spanish, the changes can be seen correlated with geographic locations that are quite far apart.  It makes me wonder how the Chinese government dealt with the different dialects.

Likewise, the romance languages have the same root and Portuguese and Spanish have close ties to each other.  Spanish itself has different forms based on if you are from Europe, North America, or South America.  Now isn’t that something?  That sort of change makes far more sense to me, since the Americas are a world away from Spain and it only natural that it evolved differently.  I can even understand that Mexican Spanish and Argentinian Spanish could have moved in different directions due to the distance.

So why is it that China seems to be the only country with such a strong split?  That’s not even to count the endless list of other dialects that are commonly spoken throughout the country.  Perhaps it has something to do with the billions of people and vast land?  I guess India has seen something like that too, with their host of dialects.  Still, it really puzzles me how a country can stay together when a lot of its people don’t seem to be able to communicate with each other.  I guess it could have worked a long time ago when writing was the most common form of communication to people who didn’t live in your immediate vicinity.  I wonder if that’s why Chinese writing remained a constant but spoken language didn’t.

Hmm.

Motherly affection and devotion

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You know when your mother loves you when she is willing to fly to a country she has never been to to live with you to help you with your language skills.  o.O  And you know she really sacrifices for you when she’s willing to make time outside of a full-time job to help you translate things.  Sometimes, it still amazes me how much my mom has and would give up for me.

It all started pretty much from birth.  My dad had to leave for the US 6 months before I was born, so she bore the pregnancy herself.  Then, 6 months after that, she had to leave to join my father in Pennsylvania.  She and my father had to work as Research Assistants (and my dad was also a Teaching Assistant) to save up the money to bring me over three years later and support us from there.

From then on, she supported my dad in every move we made, from PA to Kansas to Missouri to New York to California to China again.  Sometime in Kansas she decided that to provide the sort of flexibility in mobility that we would need, she would stop working and be a stay at home mom.  That meant that growing up, I was rather spoiled with the ease of having my forgotten homework delivered to me during the day, being driven to all kinds of activities (mostly sports meets), and having my mother on call for all of my wants and needs.

Starting the day she started staying home, other than the years she went back to China working on a business she started with my dad, I never had to go home to an empty house.  She’d wake up at 4 in the morning to drive me to swim practice, she’d sit around waiting in the car for me every day after school that I had to stay late (back before we had cell phones), she’d trek out to school in the middle of the day to drop off something I needed, and she even came back from China to live with me after I graduated UCLA to keep me company until I started working.

Throughout those years, she has also spent her time managing our finances, making sure we were saving up and investing wisely, laboring over the pains of day trading (thank goodness she gave that up), anticipating my dad and my own needs, finding a balance between giving me what I wanted and what I needed, always supporting my dad with what he needed, cooking, cleaning, and tirelessly devoting herself to being a great mother and an amazing woman.  She did so much behind the scenes that I may never know about, but one of the things I learned a few years ago was that she always carefully planned trips to either be the whole family traveling together, or she and my dad splitting up.  That way, it decreased the odds of both of them getting killed in an accident, leaving me an orphan.

Beyond that, she had great potential to be a highly successful engineer (and potentially, manager) in her own right, but she gave that up to be the cornerstone to her husband and daughter’s success.  Even now she is extraordinarily gifted in that area and could be a great engineer for an aerospace company (which is her dream), but being out of the work force for so long has hindered her aspirations.  She has never complained about what she has given up for us and happily shifted her life to fit our needs.

Now we are all in different countries, though she is based in Beijing with my dad, and she is willing to come to Singapore to stay with me!  I was explaining to her how it seems that people here seem to assume that I know so much of the background for Chinese language and culture just because I have a very standard accent and sound quite like a native, but I essentially grew up American, so much of that knowledge is lost on me.  I am concerned about my reading and writing skills in Mandarin that I may need to use for an upcoming project, so she suggested she come so she can be here with me and help me.  Of course, she’s still got her own work to do, so that would be a lot of time out of her day to help me improve my Chinese.

To her it may seem like a small gesture, but to me it really speaks volumes for her deep commitment to me, my future, and my success.  It really meant a lot to me.  I’m learning to appreciate her more and more.  A few years ago, I probably would have thought it was normal and nothing special.  That’s just how much she has conditioned me to her support.  So I hope she doesn’t feel under appreciated, because she isn’t.

Divergence

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I just talked to Elle and she got the Teach for America offer!  Now it’s time to spend the next week deciding if she wants to go for it.  Though she worked really hard for it and is leaning towards that path, you never with these things.  It is a big decision for her life, after all, since it will take over the next two years of her life and take her out to Louisiana.

At this point in our lives, a lot of what we’re going through is all about growing apart.  If she chooses to go through with this, my best friends and I will be spread out between states in the Midwest, South, and West Coast.  Even if she doesn’t go for this, she is interested in moving to D.C., so we’d still be in three very different regions of the country.  This is also assuming that I will make it back to the states by then!

Today I went to a workshop on facilitation and how the International Association of Facilitators emphasizes process-driven versus content-driven facilitation.  Basically what that means that going in as a facilitator, you are not a consultant who provides advice.  Instead you stay neutral and just ask the right questions to get people in the group to talk about the right things for the purposes of that discussion.

The issue of divergence was brought up as a concept for how these sessions work; first you brainstorm and get the contributions from individuals, which is the diverging component.  After you all those little pieces, you parse through and converge again at a point where the group reaches a consensus on the answer or solution they were looking for.  I found this an interesting way of wording it that I had not encountered before.

Oh the parallels in life.

Self-improvement

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Instead of looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow, I will be getting up even earlier than I do for work to go to a facilitation seminar of sorts.  I’m not exactly sure what it is about, but that’s why I’m going!  (To learn about what facilitation is and how I can add it to my list of skills.)  It’s a part of this whole idea of "relentless self-improvement" and learning.  I feel like I should take advantage of all the resources available to me, as long as I’m even remotely interested in them.  If it doesn’t get in the way of work or something else that really matters to me, why not?  I can sacrifice a little sleep to gain some extra knowledge.

In addition to this, there are a variety of new things to be learned that hopefully HR will be setting up for us soon, like lessons in ASL!  I am looking forward to these chances to enhance my personal repertoire.  After all, you shouldn’t ever stop learning and growing.  There are just too many interesting things out there to know and do to settle for one thing.  I have always been a sampler platter type of person; I love to try out all kinds of things.  Most I will probably never be completely proficient at or an expert in, but at least I have a basic understanding of what it is and how it works.

So, in the spirit of being good to myself, I am going to keep this short so I can get to sleep soon!  We’ll see what interesting things tomorrow will unveil.

Amethyst: my gemstone of choice

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I am often inspired to write my personal opinion or a follow-up to what Katana has been writing.  I follow her feminist fitness blog, professional blog, and Associated Content material closely and as of late, she’s been a superstar in posting for AC!  Awhile back, she posted an entry about an engagement ring and today Lin and I were talking about such things, so I felt it was appropriate to delve into it a little more.

Katana’s article was about her how fiance wants to get an emerald on her engagement ring, partly because of his Irish heritage, but also partly because of their rarity and value.  It was fascinating for me to learn more about this gemstone, so I did my own follow-up research online to read more about it.  I was inevitably led to links for a variety of gemstones and one of them caught my eye: amethyst.  As far as I remember, it has been my favorite gemstone ever since I learned it existed.  Previously I was interested in blue sapphires, but purple is my favorite color, so that was quickly booted upon my new knowledge.

Now, it may not be a very precious gemstone, but I have never been one for expensive taste.  What I do like, as I have mentioned time and time again, is the sentiments and meaning behind things.  So, naturally, I started to do some research on what amethyst is known for and why it is valued.  I came across some very interesting information that coincides well with my preferences, so of course now I’m all the more convinced that if I were ever to get a nice fancy ring, it would feature amethyst.

For one, “amethyst is unique with its coloring,” which appeals greatly to me and my personal taste for all things purple.  I do prefer darker, more blueish purples than the redder type, but I pretty much like all shades.  “If you get the right amethyst stone you can get a very deep and beautiful purple color that you cannot get with any other gemstone.”  Other things I learned from this site I am referencing are that amethyst is less costly because of its availability and easiness to cut.  It has a lot of historical significance and monarchs and popes have been known to wear them.  Purple is the “royal color,” after all.

According to the Wikipedia article, the Greeks and Romans used amethyst to ward off intoxication, which tickles my fancy because that can play off of how I don’t drink.  There are various stories surrounding it in Greek mythology, which I am fascinated with (both the stories and the mythology).  I even took a course in Greek mythology for fun!  Also, it is relatively hard, scoring a 7 on Mohs Scale, so it’s good for wear and tear.

The best color grade for it is called Deep Siberian/Russian (depends on the source what it’s called).  Doesn’t that just sound so cool?  Plus, it used to be one of (what is now) the cardinal four: diamond, sapphire, ruby, and emerald.  However, since it is now much more accessible after more deposits were discovered, they aren’t valued as much anymore.  I also love that it is the birthstone for February, zodiac stone for Pisces, and that I once went to Fowler with Panda and we came across some.  I even taught him how to pronounce it, haha.  A little bit of personal history adds so much meaning.

“It is a symbol of heavenly understanding, and of the pioneer in thought and action on the philosophical, religious, spiritual, and material planes.”  Now though I am not striving for heavenly understanding, I certainly am working for more understanding all the time.  As for being a pioneer in thought and action, I’m all for that!  It could be a symbol and reminder of my goals to be a leader and inspiration.

So with all this talk about precious gemstones, I couldn’t help but look into engagement/wedding rings, since that’s what triggered this whole research endeavor.  That led me to this fun list of anniversary presents!  So cute and a totally fun, cheesy thing I’m into.

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