I’ve always preferred to be unconventional.  From the more normal things, like being a little outrageous here and there to more trend-setting or baffling behavior, I’m far happier doing that than what is average and common.  Just looking at me though, you may not expect me to do such things and in observing me, you may not think I really break out of the mold that much.  Well, much of that is just due to circumstance – these little unusual things I do happened to me, so it doesn’t look like I’m actively seeking them out.  This goes for the way I’ve gotten jobs to the unexpected behavior that I may exhibit randomly.

For starters, I’m hugely independent, so I don’t like being like others.  However, this sometimes battles with the part of me that is very complacent and a “good girl.”  So you’ll find that my rebellions and the way that I stand out is still somehow buried in the acceptable context and framework of societal expectations.  Still, I like to feel like I have the space to spread my wings and fly around as I need to.  Part of my fear of settling down somewhere is how stifled I will feel not getting the constant exposure to new neighborhoods, subcultures, and experiences that I got as a child moving around so much.  I’ve gotten used to that pattern of life: show up somewhere as the “new kid,” make some friends and try to fit in somewhere, then move on to the next place and start over again.

What other job lets you have tea with such guests?

As for jobs, the great majority of them involved moving around or doing things on my own time and that’s exactly what I want to do now.  After all, it’s been my dream to be an entrepreneur for many years now!  Unfortunately, my parents are having trouble accepting this and just want to see me get a steady job with insurance and benefits.  Yup, as long as I can get health insurance and some other more standard benefits that come from working a typical job, they’re happy.  Sad to say that’s exactly what I don’t want.  I don’t want a desk job and I certainly don’t like working a 9-5 shift.  So what can I do that offers me full benefits and allows me to move around all the time, setting my own work hours?  I can’t think of much, or really anything at all.

I’ve been dreaming of doing some freelance work here and there to bring in some money as I find the resources to start my own business.  But alas, I’ve got parental pressures to consider, though I know how dreadful a “normal” job would be for me.  Even now I find I easily lose focus when I’m not particularly interested in a task or not in the right state of mind or mood.  At least here there is flexibility to move around if need be, working from the couch, the high desk, the big table, or my own desk.  Plus, I get enough new tasks that I can spread out my work and do a little bit of this, a little bit of that, with some personal readings and whatnot in between.  I’m scared of what I’d find in a standard (stifled) corporate environment.

So, what am I to do?  I defiantly told my dad how I don’t want to sit at a desk all day and I’d rather not earn money or have insurance than suffer through that.  My stubbornness and strong will is not allowing me to back down or compromise, though it’s not like I’m eliminating a job just because it involves sitting at a desk.  Maybe I can start with a franchise and go from there, but really, what entrepreneur doesn’t take risks and often not earn much for years?  I just don’t see how health insurance factors in before my personal mental and emotional well-being, even if I do understand why it’s so important to my parents.

I didn’t really rebel as a teenager, so I feel like I’m at that stage now.  Suddenly I have all these ideas and things I want to try, but I’m just so misunderstood by my parents.  😛  Do I sound like an angsty teen yet?  But seriously, now is the time to take risks, before I have so much to lose, no?  What’s the worst that can happen?  I fall flat on my face and have to resort to a boring, normal life for awhile.  It’s not like I’m incapable of earning income; it’s just that pretty much every way I can get a reliable one is completely undesirable to me.

I wish I had more freedom to fly.