Markets and bazaars

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I got the 3D ones so they can stand on their own (the other ones are flat and only have two legs).

I got the 3D ones so they can stand on their own (the other ones are flat and only have two legs).

To continue my story about shopping (and sandals)…

Since my trip to Chatuchak, the big weekend market, didn’t yield anything to show for all my troubles, I decided to go to the Bangkok Night Bazaar for a second go at getting some Thai memorabilia.  I instantly liked the place better – even though it had a smaller selection, it had more of the things I like.  I managed to find some adorable little elephant keychains that would be perfect gift items.  I came across a stall with the type of lamps that I’ve always wanted to get once I have my own place – it was a pity I couldn’t purchase them yet!  I treated myself to a purple stone ring and a pair of earrings and I even got Panda a leather wallet (which I felt he needed as a symbol of professionalism).

I first saw that white one in the bottom right corner at Pinkberry's.

I first saw a white one of these at Pinkberry's.

It tickles a lot at first.  I had to take my feet out a few times and just giggle it out!

It tickles a lot at first. I had to take my feet out a few times and just giggle it out!


I had heard that there was a fish spa at this market, so I asked around until I found one.  It was pricier than the girl at the hostel had told me, so I decided to keep looking.  (Plus it was decorated with way too much pink – I don’t think I could have sat in there for very long.)  I eventually got directed to the right place and happily stuck my feet in for a 15 minutes.  The fish quickly came along and began to gently nibble at my feet and ankles.  Since the skin around ankles is very thin, it tickled a lot when they targeted that area, so I was chuckling to myself quite often.  After a few minutes, I got more used to it and no longer had to wiggle my feet to shoo the fish away for a moment or take my feet out entirely to recover.  I was tempted to go for another 15 minutes, but decided that for the first time, that was plenty.  My feet felt softer and refreshed afterward, though I’m not sure if it was because of the fish or just soaking my feet in water.  I’m pretty sure the dead skin that the fish got rid of for me was a major factor though.  Too bad there aren’t fish spas where I live!  They’re supposed to be good for people with skin conditions, like eczema and psoriasis, and though I don’t think I have those, I do have strange skin conditions sometimes.

Was there a clump of yummy goodness there or something?

Was there a clump of yummy goodness there or something?

Just like grandpa's house, complete with white cloths to help the birds sleep!

Just like grandpa's house, complete with white cloths to help the birds sleep!


Now as for Hong Kong, there was quite the variety of markets available!  I spent an entire day going from the Bird Market to the Flower Market to the Goldfish Market to the Ladies’ Market to the Jade Market and finally to the Night Market.  It was a little tricky to find the Bird Market, but when I got there, I felt like I was walking into my childhood.  The gates were of a traditional Chinese design, the bird cages were the bamboo types that my grandfather uses, and there were some Chinese men sitting around enjoying the chirps of the birds.

I love that Chinese people use porcelain bowls to feed their birds!

I love that Chinese people use porcelain bowls to feed their birds!

bright flowerslotus flowers and seedscarnivorous vaseskittyRight next to that was the Flower Market, true to its name with a lot of flowers and plants in general.  Actually, a lot of what they sold were just plants, but hey “Plant Market” hardly sounds as appealing, right?  This place was a treasure trove, with brilliantly-colored flowers, plants shaped to look like little green creatures, bouquets bursting with all kinds of species, huge lily flowers, and even lotus flowers, complete with buds!  My favorite were the vases that eat flies.  I’ve always wanted a Venus flytrap, so any “carnivorous” plant will do!  Oh, and I also liked the kitty who was sitting in one of the shops.  😛

turtleorange kittenplump goldfishlots of goldfish for sale
A bit of a walk away was the Goldfish Market, which was more of an amazing animal market.  It was mostly aquarium type animals, but I did find some adorable little kittens and even this crazy HUGE beetle that was about the size of a child’s fist.  It was still true to its name though, with a huge variety of goldfish for sale, often put out in rows and rows of plastic bags, ready to be taken off the rack.  Some were the normal goldfish you think of, but many were these cute globe-shaped ones, so plump they were practically spherical.  I also came across some unassuming shells that turned out to be hermit crabs!  I’d totally spend my weekends on this street if I lived in Hong Kong.  I wish I could have gotten new pets, but alas, international travel with live animals is either a big no-no or is at least extremely troublesome.

Not just shells - little hermit crabs!

crazy huge beetleafro goldfishNext up was the Ladies’ Market!  At first I was afraid I’d miss it, but once I got to the street bordering one end of it, I discovered how silly that idea was.  There was NO mistaking the dense market that suddenly appeared.  I happy began my shopping spree, getting dresses and flip flops for myself, a tie for Panda, cuff links for the men at C&S, and compact mirrors for the ladies at C&S.  I did a decent job bargaining (or at least I felt like I did) and I found some great stuff, so I was very happy by the end of it!  Just for kicks, I dropped by the Jade Market and Night Market, but by then I was back to just window shopping.  I did go by this one area that sold adult toys and such, which was completely random.  I also managed to get a Lonpos set for only 10 HKD!!!  After waiting a year and a half, it was completely worth it.  The only other set I had found previously was around $100, so this was a fabulous deal.

All in all a great shopping experience!  🙂  My wallet even agrees, albeit reluctantly.  ;-P

Oddities

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How'd you like to find this in your bathroom stall?

How'd you like to find this in your bathroom stall?

Sooo my friend uses her phone with this sticker still on it.  o.O

Sooo my friend uses her phone with this sticker still on it. o.O

Well, this is the pedestrian crossing button I would have pressed to try to get the white man to show up sooner, but...

Well, this is the pedestrian crossing button I would have pressed to try to get the white man to show up sooner, but...

Gusty day

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photo credit: WGB Photography on flickr

photo credit: WGB Photography on flickr

Indoors, with the windows open and suddenly the wind picks up.  Clouds loom overhead, cooling the air.  Doors rattle with the passing gusts and an eerie feeling settles.  Outside, the tree shakes its branches, letting down a shower of leaves.  Only the strong ones hold on as the dying ones drift to the ground, creating a loud rustling noise.  It’s too dark to not turn on the lights, but too bright with them.  The air thickens with the gloom of a potential storm, heavy with unseen particles.  Everything feels ominous.

On the drive home, an ambulance approaches from the right at an intersection, howling to get vehicles out of its way.  Stopped at the intersection, you wait for it to make its turn towards the buildings behind you.  The ones you just left.  As firetrucks honk their way from the opposite end, turning in the same direction as the ambulance, you wonder if they will go near where you just had been.  Did the weather bring along with it trouble?  A foreboding sense creeps up on you as you drive off towards home.  Away from danger, away from trouble, you hope.

At the next intersection, leaves swirl in furious spirals in front of you as you wait for the red light to change.  All the excess from nearby trees has been brought down to clutter the curbside.  With each car that passes, another puff of dust is left in its wake, blurring your vision.  You watch as the palms sway vigorously, so high up.  One has even thrashed down a frond that lies forlornly in the road, being run over by the traffic passing by.  For a moment you wonder if the apocalypse could start like this – just a dreary, troublesome day… much like when the Santa Ana winds blow and bring with them strange behavior.

Unexpectedly, you feel your car move.  Did someone just bump into you?  You check in your mirrors and find nothing wrong.  All the cars are a safe distance away.  The car moves again.  This time you recognize it – the gentle rocking from a surge of wind.  You didn’t realize the rushing air had reached down low to shake your car.  After all, it was just the treetops that were affected, right?  But no, the undeniable push of the winds tells you otherwise and you wonder if this is how it feels to be in your car during an earthquake.

What an odd day.

Life advice (& still jobless)

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Sometimes it feels like a really hard game.  You zoom past the easy levels, then get stuck on a hard one.  photo credit: danimations on flickr

Sometimes it feels like a really hard game. You zoom past the easy levels, then get stuck on a hard one. photo credit: danimations on flickr

Just yesterday morning I got the news: Thank you for applying, but we have chosen another candidate for the position.  Or something to that effect.  It feels like so long ago!  I had a lot of my hope banking on this job, so it was certainly a let-down that I didn’t get it, after getting so far.  I had three wonderful people give me great recommendations and even a fourth one who put in some good words.  In the end, it might have come down to exactly what I had feared… not enough professional experience in event planning and scheduling.

I had the passion, I had the drive, I had the excitement and enthusiasm!  I just didn’t have the years of experience to back me up.  I’m still waiting to hear back regarding feedback on how I was as a candidate so I can improve myself for the next try.  I really wish I had gotten this one though – it was perfect for what I want out of life now.  At least it didn’t hit me as hard as I thought it would.  It helped that I had just heard of some new, exciting opportunities, so now I’m applying for those.  Just gotta keep plowing forward!

Ironic then, that last night I listened to a speaker sharing advice on how to live our professional lives and today I listened to a speaker doing much the same.  I was oddly inspired, yet weary.  Sometimes you know what you should do, but it’s just not the right time emotionally.  I felt like that last night, as the pangs of a job not earned hit my subconscious.  I didn’t think it was affecting me much, but apparently it was.  Let me tell you, it is the most bizarre feeling, to be inspired and discontent at the same time.  It’s hard to reconcile.  Well, I took those lessons and pondered them on my way home, as I questioned many things in my life.  Then today I was feeling much more receptive to the advice presented.  I just need time to recover from everything I put into the potential job.

A wonderful event!

A wonderful event!

Let’s move on to the pointers that the two speakers gave, starting with Jordan Belfort:

~”motion creates emotion” – Put your body physically a certain way and you will start to feel that way.  Stand tall and confident and you will feel more confident.  Hang your head and look at the ground and you will begin to feel sad.  Move how you want to feel and you can create that emotion through body language.

~”act as if” – Whatever your goal is, start acting as if you have already attained it.  You will begin to open doors to lead you towards that very goal.  (This could work well in line with the advice that tells you to start taking on duties of those above you when you want to get a promotion/raise.  Just start working like you already have that job!)

~”where focus goes, energy flows” – The things you focus on, you will pick out more readily than everything else.  So focus on what you want to get and don’t expend resources on the rest.  We’re great at filtering out things to find what we want, but if we’re preoccupied with our weaknesses or problems, that’s all we’ll see.

~”change the way you look at things and the things you look at will change” – Similar to above.  When you focus on the good and what you want, you will go towards it.  When you shift focus down to the things holding you back, you will plummet.

The Wolf of Wall Street, as he's known.

The Wolf of Wall Street, as he's known.

~”build a new pattern” – From our youth, we develop patterns.  Patterns of thought, patterns of behavior, patterns of expectations.  Don’t let those inhibit you.  Break old patterns and start adjusting them bit by bit.  Next thing you know, it’ll be second nature!

~”mistakes are resources” – Every time you make a mistake, it’s a chance to learn.  Failure is in the eye of the beholder.  Take each stumble as a lesson so you don’t run into the same issue again.  Successful entrepreneurs especially know this; they’ve all failed and learned!

~”model after someone successful” – Find someone (or “someones”) doing what you want to accomplish and find a formula of their actions that work for you.  Take what they do best, what has led them to success, and learn from it.

~”Mother Nature has equipped you with everything you need” – You just need to harness that natural talent!

Amy Lukken, Director of Market Research and Educational Learning

Amy Lukken, Director of Market Research and Educational Learning

And today’s speaker was Ms. Amy Lukken from Interface, with similar wisdom:

~People tend to focus on the negative, like when you get a report card with As and Bs and one D.  All parents will immediately see the D and question it.  We’re always working to improve our weaknesses (but what about our strengths?).  Around the time we’re 3-9, our natural talents start to emerge.  We can and should take those and find ways to develop them and apply them to future jobs.

~She showed us a t-shirt that said: Failure is NOT an option.  Good idea, but the most prominent words were “failure” and “not.”  Walking around seeing them all day doesn’t give the right impression.  (As I like to say, double negative wording is detrimental to the positive meaning they hide.  Just word things positively!)

~Discover your passion and aim for that.  You shouldn’t get stuck in a job you hate just because it is stable, pays well, etc.  Oftentimes there are ways to incorporate what you’re good at and your passions into many types of roles.  (Take me, for example – I’m good at proofreading, so I could be an editor in many organizations.)

Now I’ll take their words, trying to remember it all as I move forward.

Roadside notables

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Hey, he's not supposed to be there...

Hey, he's not supposed to be there...

New age street lamp.  So bright!!!

New age street lamp. So bright!!!

As if they weren't looming enough already.

As if they weren't looming enough already.

Now that's a prominent entrance that I never noticed before!

Now that's a prominent entrance that I never noticed before!

A story of shopping and sandals

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I don't remember what I was doing here, but probably lamenting the 9 Baht I lost out on (read on...).

I don't remember what I was doing here, but probably lamenting the 9 Baht I lost out on (read on...).


When I was in Thailand and Hong Kong, there were plenty of places to shop where price tags don’t exist and everything is done through bargaining.  In places like these, initial prices are never to be trusted and it’s wise to walk around to get a feel for the products available first.  After all, things tend to be the same from shop to shop and if you find the lowest asking price, you have a good starting point to hack from.  You never know how much they’re trying to earn off of you, but you can bet that their quoted price is at least two to three times as expensive as it needs to be, if not more.  My mom can usually get things for about 20-40% what the vendors try to sell for.  I’m happy when I can get half (even when I know I’m still being ripped off).

In Bangkok, I spent some time at the Chatuchak Weekend Market as well as the Night Bazaar, searching for fun little trinkets that I could give as gifts to friends.  I was also on the hunt for a bikini and a pair of flip flops for myself.  I’d been told to check out the weekend market, if only for its pure massiveness, so I found a buddy at the hostel and we headed out for a day in the heat.  At first, we weren’t sure which section we were in and wandered around the antiques area, crossed over to the food (where I had to stop to feed myself!), and finally ended up in the heart of it all, where the clothes and shoes and knickknacks are sold.

The only pickings from a day of walking, walking, and shopping.

The only pickings from a day of walking, walking, and shopping.


None of the swimsuits impressed me that much and the lady selling the best stall’s worth was extremely unfriendly, so I decided against giving her business.  I found a stall with very cheap flip flops at 59 Baht and chose a pair that wasn’t half bad.  I really wanted it for just 50 Baht, but they weren’t budging and my friend was impatient to move on, so I took them.  To be environmentally friendly, I decided to not take a bag and just hold them on the way back.  And I swore that that 9 Baht would matter down the line, but of course he didn’t believe me!  We headed out not long after, leaving behind the football field of place with little to show.

On the ride back, I fell asleep and woke up to find us in front of the hostel again.  I quickly got out after paying and we went inside to say hi to the lady running the place.  Right as I was about to step over the threshold, I realized I was holding one flip flop.  One.  Alas, I watched as the taxi went out of view, carrying with it the other half of my now useless shoe.  My shopping partner chortled at me, tickled by the absurdity of the loss.  It was the only thing either of us bought in the ENTIRE market!  -____-  Those cursed sandals!

This is when I realized that I now had a useless shoe.

This is when I realized that I now had a useless shoe.


And you know what?  Before I left Bangkok, I realized that I was exactly 9 Baht short of paying for the airport express.  I knew it’d come back to kick me in the butt.  I had no ATM card (the new one was sent to my home address since I didn’t think I’d need it in the few weeks I had left – boy was I wrong).  My credit cards wouldn’t let me take a cash advance (I never set up a PIN number to use in ATM machines).  So, I had to borrow from my poor roommate who I had barely known for two days.  Bless her kind soul.  She helped me get from Thailand to Hong Kong!

More on my shopping experiences at the Night Bazaar and the Hong Kong markets in a future entry

Unique cars

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Seems like this type of black paint job is the new fad now.

Seems like this type of black paint job is the new fad now.

Gosh, this thing was TINY!  How do people fit?!

Gosh, this thing was TINY! How do people fit?!

Pity they had to ruin it for the sake of filming.

Pity they had to ruin it for the sake of filming.

A drop in the ocean

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It frustrates me when people don’t do anything because they think it won’t matter.

“Oh, it’s just a drop of water in the ocean, a grain of sand on the beach, a star in the night sky.  Without that drop, the ocean is still as expansive; without that grain, the beach is still as solid; without that star, the night sky is still as bright.  You’ll never miss it.”

Everything has an origin point.  Don't underestimate just one little thing.  photo credit: shannonstanley.wordpress.com

Everything has an origin point. Don't underestimate just one little thing. photo credit: shannonstanley.wordpress.com

But you know what?  It does matter!  That one drop creates ripples, affecting its neighbors that then affect their neighbors until a wave builds up.  Besides, actions reflect a mentality, so not making one small change here can lead to not making another small change there.  If you work incrementally, the next thing you know, you’ve made a huge change.  It takes time and patience to see results that are truly worthy of gaining, as well as persistence.

Every time you leave the water running, don’t turn off the lights, don’t donate your time or money, and otherwise deem things too much effort and not enough tangible reward, you are increasing the vicious cycle of inaction and indifference.  Aggregated, each little action adds up to become a trend, a movement.  And thus, nobody should ever give up from the get-go, thinking, “Well it won’t really matter that much overall.”  It can and it will, if you stick to it, then start to affect the people in your life too.  Eventually, you’ll have something on a scale you never imagined, because the power of compounding has taken effect and created something much larger than just you.

And so, I’m going to start increasing the number of registered bone marrow donors (particularly ones of Asian descent), one person at a time until we get a massive database.  It’s pathetic that there’s only 7% of Asian Americans on the US who are currently available to donate when there are thousands of people in need.  I’ve already gotten some friends to enter themselves into the registry and slowly started to educate them not only on the need, but the misconception that it is a painful procedure to extract the marrow.  What are you waiting for?  Go register yourself now!  And also go learn more about one young lady who is fighting the battle against leukemia right now.

I’m also taking environmentalism one step at a time, constantly weeding out the things and habits in my life that are unsustainable, replacing them with more globally-friendly alternatives.

Be the impetus for change.  Start something.  Then keep working hard as the effects ripple further and faster.  This goes for anything you care about, from our deteriorating environment to our broken education system to poverty to deadly diseases.  Everything has got to start somewhere!

Environmentaland

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environmentaland signOn Wednesday I had a fabulous time volunteering for Global Inheritance, which is a non-profit that opened up Environmentaland on Hollywood and Highland awhile back (October 1st, to be exact).  Tuesday night was a public party to celebrate the brief three weeks that the interactive theme park was there and Wednesday was the final closing party, exclusively for people affiliated with the environmental playland.  Not knowing that it was a closing party (and thinking it was an opening one), I was super excited to share the place with my friends.  It’s a pity they won’t be able to enjoy it.  Perhaps we’ll catch them again when they come round to LA next (and hopefully they will!).

The Global Inheritance logo.

The Global Inheritance logo.

You can kind of see how it wraps and overlays...

You can kind of see how it wraps and overlays...

I started off the night helping set up the food tables and arranging food on them.  I then needed to adorn myself with an Environmentaland t-shirt, so I went to stand in line at the screen printing station.  Sustainable Edition American Apparel t-shirts were available in men’s and women’s sizes.  I took the appropriate one and carefully looked at the six design options, of which we were allowed to choose three to put on our shirts, wherever we wanted.  I knew I wanted the purple one with a whale because not only was it in my favorite color, the whale is just adorable.  I also knew that I liked the faintness of the polar bear one – it would be present, but not drawing too much attention.  Then came the final decision: a cool message or cool design?  I liked both the “Make Love, Not Trash” and the Hit+Run designs and it was hard to choose, but I eventually settled on the former because I liked how it was multiple colors and the message itself was just too cute.  The Hit+Run was harder to “get” and didn’t quite make an impact or statement.

A screen printing machine!  It seriously takes like five minutes from start to wear.

A screen printing machine! It seriously takes like five minutes from start to wear.

I wonder how many volts I was generating... I couldn't see the screen showing the numbers.

I wonder how many volts I was generating... I couldn't see the screen showing the numbers.

Next came the positioning!  Once again, the purple whale was easy – I just wanted it on the chest.  Pretty straightforward.  I’m also a huge fan of having something on the side, kind of wrapping around, so I decided the polar bear would go well there.  The MLNT one I then knew should go on the back, but when I envisioned it I was thinking on the shoulder, but because I didn’t specify, the guy put it on the bottom, overlaying the polar bear.  I quite liked the way he did that – it was his personal flair and style, which put an artistic feel to it.  Extremely pleased with my new shirt, I put it on and got ready to help out at a station only to get called away to join the spinners outside.

Eight bikes were set up, all rigged to a generator battery thing contained inside a large glass box.  That hooked up to a TV that would only run if we provided the power through spinning.  Some volunteers were lined up to participate and we grabbed two people off the street, bribing them with free t-shirts and food.  As we were getting ready to start, suddenly Spiderman came out of nowhere and began to use the bike on the end.  Excited, I tried to recruit him too, but he had to go make some money.  He did say he’d send some people our way though!  After he left, we got on and began to pedal.  There wasn’t much resistance at first and I got overly eager, so I expended a lot of energy at the beginning and wore out pretty quickly.  Soon enough, I was breathing harder and my poor new shirt was getting worn.  We continued on (on and off) for about 20-30 minutes and called it a night from there.

In case you wanted to see how we were powering the TV.

In case you wanted to see how we were powering the TV.

Catered by Lucky Strike, the bowling alley next door!

Catered by Lucky Strike, the bowling alley next door!

I went back in to take care of the food for a bit before taking over the registration table for another volunteer.  I ended up there for the rest of the night, greeting people as they came in and making sure they were on our guest list.  A couple of people wandered in acting like they belonged there until they saw I had a guest list, then asked what we were all about before sauntering off.  A few times, the security guard had to chase someone who walked by too fast, ignoring my calls to come check in with me at the table.  Some other staffers came by to chat so I wouldn’t be too lonely when things were slow at the door, which was nice.  Visitors got score sheets from me, which they could use to keep track of points they earned for participating at each station.  Then, in true Chuck-E-Cheese style, you could redeem your points for prizes – in this case, really cool ones!  They had skate decks and Camelbaks and even Coachella tickets for the highest scorers!

Açaí spirit (whatever that means).  I have no idea what a spirit is.  Açaí however is an oversized blueberry-looking thing from the Amazon!

Açaí spirit (whatever that means) at the open bar. I have no idea what a spirit is. Açaí however is an oversized blueberry-looking thing from the Amazon!

Well, it used to say: "When in doubt RECYCLE," but as you can see it didn't stick very well.  Complete with wheels and handle!

Well, it used to say: "When in doubt RECYCLE," but as you can see it didn't stick very well. Complete with wheels and handle!

As I was sitting there observing the attendees, I noticed quite a few had these cute little recycle bins that they had decorated.  I wanted one for myself, so when I got a chance, I went looking and found an arts and crafts table full of things to put on it, then saw the undecorated ones hidden in a bottom shelf next to the table.  I grabbed one and began to collect things to decorate it with.  I used some of the glittery stuff they had to write out a message that one of the guys told me earlier in the night: When in doubt, recycle.  Basically the idea is that if you aren’t sure if you should throw something out or recycle it, you should put it in the recycle so it can be sorted.  Otherwise, more likely than not, your recyclables in the trash will go straight to the landfill and never get a chance to be diverted.

The night wound down and people filtered out.  I got my parking validated at the Starbucks and the guy had me tell him a good thing about my day, so I shared with him my volunteer experience and how awesome Environmentaland is.  He was sad that he couldn’t check it out since it was torn down the next day, but when I mentioned their next stop is Portland, he and his coworker from there considered a road trip…  So all in all a fabulous night, though it was too bad parking cost me $7.  But hey, I got some sweet free stuff and had a lovely time volunteering!

Some of the other wonderful exhibits…

You stand at the point and throw a paper airplane at the bullseye.

You stand at the point and throw a paper airplane at the bullseye.

A whale to greet everyone, asking for a hug!

A whale to greet everyone, asking for a hug!

Organic apples or not?  Can you tell the difference?

Organic apples or not? Can you tell the difference?

stargazing igloo

Golf course, desert style.

Golf course, desert style.

Every time people use it, they'd create a horrible clown honking sound that was hilarious.

Every time people use it, they'd create a horrible clown honking sound that was hilarious.

A performance by Jason Lytle.

A performance by Jason Lytle.

Plenty of media around!

Plenty of media around!

Nightmarish

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The past two nights, I’ve been playing out my fears subconsciously in my dreams.  Two nights ago, I had a nightmare that I cheated on Panda by kissing another guy, who then tried to get me to leave Panda.  I told him that I had made a mistake and I wasn’t going to be with him, but I was horrified by what I had done.  I woke up vaguely remembering what I had dreamed and feeling miserable, but relieved that it wasn’t real.

Then last night I dreamed that Philosopher and I were in a parking garage.  For some reason he had gone up to the second level and came back down telling me I had been rejected.  Confused, we went upstairs where a blue car resembling the one that my parents had owned many years ago was parked with a letter under the windshield wiper and a huge playing card (a jack) on the ground in front of it.  The card was something like three feet tall by two feet wide and seemed to be a play on the word “jacked” because that was certainly a way to describe the way I felt.  The letter was a rejection one from the job I had applied to.  I was absolutely devastated when I woke up in the split second before I realized it was just another nightmare.

I suppose I have been more stressed than I realized and now I’m being bombarded by the things I dread most.  I just hope that both have “happened” already so they won’t in reality.  After all, I never want to do anything to hurt Panda and I REALLY want that job.  So let’s just hope that both those events turn out the way I want them to!

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