Branching off from my description of generational gaps in my family…
For my parents in particular, my maternal grandmother heard of my dad through the wife of a professor at the local university, which is where my parents both went to school. My maternal grandfather was also a professor at the school and his professor buddy had my dad as a student. Through the women talking, my grandmother learned that this young man was the professor’s star student and first in his class. My parents were introduced to each other and my grandfather approved without ever meeting the young man. All he had to know was that he was a hard worker and an excellent student. My grandmother, on the other hand, wanted to meet and get to know this potential suitor. As the legend goes, she sat him down for an interview (probably mostly asking about academics and his professional future) and liked him as well. My mom decided that of the guys she’d been introduced to, she liked this one the most, and so they were married. Or something like that.
It turned out to be a great decision, since my dad was smart enough to be allowed to leave China, which was a bit of a mess back in those years. The country had been in lock down and it was extremely hard to get out. My dad got into a PhD program at Penn State, which is what took him abroad. About six months before I was born, he left for the land of the free and began his studies. A year later, when I was a few months old, my mom followed suit, going to Penn State for her Master’s. I was left with relatives in China and I believe my paternal grandmother was mostly in charge of raising me those years. By the time I was three and a half, my parents had saved up enough money to fly me over.
I don’t remember much from those years, but I did have one strong memory from the plane ride, about the lady who escorted me from my family in China to my parents in America. I have also been told by my mother that when I first arrived, I refused to let my dad sleep in the bed. After all, it really was like meeting them for the first time – my dad had never seen me before and my mom had only been with me for about half a year. My mom attributes this behavior to a child’s need to cling to one adult they trust. Apparently between my parents, I chose my mother. So I clung to her and slept with her, but initially wouldn’t allow my dad to share the space. Poor guy must have had a couple of rough nights camping out on the couch or something.
And so that is how I spent the first couple of years of my life. Most of it’s a blur and photography was too expensive back then to have many pictures capturing my toddler years. The few I do have are quite amusing, with me all bundled up in winter clothes with a red dot on my forehead, or hanging out in a crib with my cousins standing around me. Perhaps I’ll dig those up someday and share them too.
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