Some thoughts on marriage

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I’m not sure how I feel about marriage.

On the one hand, I absolutely plan on getting married and all that jazz.  However, I have a lot of problems with it.  First, most people (in the US anyway) take it to be a religious ceremony.  I am not comfortable with that idea, being a non-religious person.  I certainly would not want to get married in a church by a priest or minister, or whatever they’re supposed to be.  Second, because of this strong tie to religion, many people believe that marriage is only to be between people of the opposite sex.  I don’t feel that love and dedication to another human being can be restricted in such a way.  It makes me uneasy to be a part of something that same-sex couples do not have the privilege of enjoying as well.

I suppose it comes down to this whole idea being extremely outdated.  Back in the day people thought that only men and women should get married to each other.  Back in the day people thought something about God and marriages and a holy union.  And unfortunately because of that, much of our legal system has developed to favor marriage.  You get taxed less for being married.  You get rights to each other’s property and many benefits when the other died.  None of that is afforded couples who are just as committed, but have not gone through this ritual of getting married.  Nowadays, those “back in the days” are long gone and I feel we should really re-examine the institution of marriage.

With divorce rates so high and sham marriages abound, it’s no wonder I think marriage is a mess.  It’s more about the rings and the legal benefits than the love and commitment.  Why can’t we do away with marriage, so weary and shackled to tradition, and replace it with something simpler and modern?  I’d like to see unions of couples in a secular manner, joining together their lives and committing to a future together.  I do like the idea of a ceremony because it helps solidify the commitment and is a way to share the union with loved ones.  And I think a meal and party afterwards is a great way to celebrate.  So these are the traditions that I like.  But doing so in a church?  Not my cup of tea.

(And what is up with this whole engagement ring and wedding band thing?  I am really confused by the complexities of that particular tradition, but let’s leave that for another day.)

Caught in a web

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I recently went a little crazy on the spiders that have decided to take up residence in corners I rarely frequent. I spent a couple of minutes completely terrorizing them, though I have no idea if they’ll even understand or remember what happened. I tore down their webs and followed them as they crawled around, slapping my hands and stomping things right next to them. I made as much noise as I could and often got close enough to touch their legs. One of the smaller ones I blew the whole way out the door. One of them I attempted to fume away with some strong scented oil. It turned out to be a good thing though, because look at this gem I found!

He was getting himself caught up in one of the webs. Look at how small he is!

tiny baby preying mantis in doorway

Where I first spotted him.

a finger next to preying mantis baby for comparison

With my finger for scaling.

cleaning off his right hand

They groom much like cats do.

climbing up around knuckles

Climbing all over my knuckles!

preying mantis climbing on hands

Flashed.

preying mantis climbing on jade bracelet

Now on my jade bracelet, kind of matching.

preying mantis coming right towards camera

Coming straight towards me.

preying mantis climbing right over camera lens

Goes right over the camera lens.

preying mantis with hula hoop in background

I thought it was kind of cool with the hula hoop in the background.

White tigers

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So elegant (and motionless… o.O)!

white tigers from Mary Qin on Vimeo.

It’s not easy being “green”

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I like to do what I can to be environmentally-friendly and lessen my impact on the planet.  Unfortunately, I have found that much of this behavior is considered unusual and people often seem to judge me because of it.  Not for being environmental, but for other reasons.  Take plastic bags, for example.  When I go to a grocery store, I have to very loudly and assertively ask to not have my food bagged (except in Whole Foods).  Otherwise, a bagger will come over and immediately start dumping my food into more bags than is necessary, sometimes even double bagging.  Each one used makes me cringe.  Where will that end up?  Will some poor bird try to eat it one day?  It’s hard to say.

When I make that request, I often get looks and people ask me if I’m sure.  Of course I’m sure!  Gosh, why do you think you’re selling reusable cloth bags but to reduce use of these stupid plastic ones?  It’s slightly annoying that they are so incredulous that I may actually want to inconvenience myself a bit with carrying the items separately than to stuff it into a bag.  I guess I should start bringing my bag just so they won’t wonder why I chose to carry those five items in my arms.  Not that that is such a difficult task anyway, but it seems people don’t understand why you wouldn’t even bag one item nowadays.  It’s a mentality that needs to be broken before our disposable habits trash the world even worse than it already has.

Then there is my habit of bringing my own set of utensils to use.  The first thing people think is that I do so because of hygiene issues.  But no, my handy dandy To-Go Ware is purely for a conservation purpose.  The less disposable utensils I use, the better, since fewer will be thrown out later.  Having a bamboo set solves all my problems.  I have my very own fork, knife, spoon, and chopsticks for any food I might encounter.  I also intend on getting my own reusable straws to bring around.  Until then, I refuse to use straws.  They are, after all, completely useless except for sucking up boba.  Sometimes I get looks then, but really, can your glass be much dirtier than the plate you eat on?  Please.  Don’t think it’s unhygienic to drink directly from a cup when you eat directly off a plate.

And finally, another consistent thing I do is not use paper towels.  What’s wrong with air drying?  I also bring around a little People Towel in my purse most of the time, which is great for wiping your hands.  Although having wet/damp hands after each wash is a bit of an inconvenience, people seem to find it a bit gross.  Perhaps because you never know if that’s water or something else… but that isn’t an issue that people should be worried about, unless you’re dealing with a young child.  Yet nonetheless, I am on the receiving end of looks all the time, for these little habits I have that aren’t the norm.  Alas, it ain’t easy living a green life!

Huntington Gardens: Shakespeare Garden & greenhouse

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Part 1 of a 3-part series from pictures taken at the Huntington Library & Gardens. Click to see the whole image.

Click here for the next part.

Cattle encounter

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Feeding time for the cattle! They completely ignored everything else.

walking alongside cattle from Mary Qin on Vimeo.

Soreness and aches

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I’ve been driving a lot more lately and my legs have been really sore from it all. My right butt cheek has gotten quite the workout from pushing the gas and brake pedals all day long, since much of the time I’m stuck in traffic. I try to use cruise control where I can, but it’s hard to find patches of freed-up traffic appropriate for it. I’ve even begun to stretch more so my muscles can feel better, but it’s hard to stretch just the right spot. I wish there was a left-footed driving option, so I could give the right leg a break and use my left leg more. I hate being uneven!

Also, something about the way I sit in my seat makes my back sore as well. I guess sitting for so long just isn’t a good feeling and I often need to stretch, but don’t want to stop to get out of the car. Instead I tough it out and by the time I reach my destination, I am so relieved to be done that I forget to give my back a good stretch until I’m back in the car, aching again. I really need to find the optimal position to sit at! With much more driving on the horizon, I just hope my right leg won’t get much larger than my left. 😛

A macro meal

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I attended a “Meet the Macro Experts” meal and info session one night at M Cafe. It was wonderful! I love the food and find the lifestyle intriguing, but I like my bad foods too much to follow it strictly. 😛 Take a look at what we had!

menu of 4-course macrobiotic meal at m cafe

The menu of delectable macrobiotic dishes!

split pea and barley soup at m cafe

Mmm, split pea and barley soup. Very tasty.

falafel, tabbouleh with quinoa, garlic hummus with chickpeas, crackers, and olives at m cafe

Mmm, a wonderful appetizer of tabbouleh with quinoa, falafel, garlic hummus with chickpeas, a few crackers, and some olives.

salmon on a skewer, zucchini noodles and rocket lettuce, brown rice pilaf at m cafe

I got the salmon for the main course. It came with zucchini noodles atop a bed of rocket lettuce and a big scoop of brown rice pilaf.

strawberry kanten dessert at m cafe

Strawberry kanten to finish off the meal! I have no idea what kanten is.

platter of macrobiotic desserts at m cafe

Mmm, so many dessert options!

m cafe t-shirt

They even gave us a t-shirt!

Squirrel encounter

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Even the squirrels not on the UCLA campus, but in the Westwood neighborhood will come up really close.

curious squirrel from Mary Qin on Vimeo.

Ratio of bins

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two recycle bins, one compost, and one trash

I love that there are two recycle bins, but I think the ratio should be more like 2 compost, 1 recycle, and a half-size one for trash.

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