365great Day 297: reflexology

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365great challenge day 297: reflexologyOk, this was the only pic I was able to get of the reflexology massage place today. I know it doesn’t look like much of anything, but if you’re familiar with those shops, the super wide seat draped with towels at these places should be something you recognize. I love going to these places because they offer cheap massages and even though they bill it as a one hour foot massage, you actually get a full body massage (mostly through a towel and your clothes). What a bargain! They always love me too, since I’m one of the few Chinese people in the area and they’re thrilled I speak their native tongue. I personally love the feeling of getting a strong foot massage and it’s fascinating how the parts of the feet correspond to your organs. Whether you believe in that and want healing or just want to get a massage in, these places are cheap and great.

A blogger, an author, a poet, a writer

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I want to write a novel. I’m not sure if I even have that much to write about, but I have some ideas I’ve been meaning to get down. I figure I’ll just start writing and see where it takes me. Maybe I’ll surprise myself with tens of thousands of words, or maybe I’ll get stuck after a few thousand. Whatever the case, a goal I have for the coming months is to get this going and eventually build up the courage to share it with some friends.

bottle of gold calligraphy ink and glass pen on clipboard with lined paperThis kind of came about due to a confluence of events, including friends sharing their writing and my personal need for expression beyond blogging. There are some things I want to get down on paper, but in a “fiction influenced by experiences” kind of way. I could post bits of it here, but I also want to explore the possibility of a story line that runs far longer than a blog post would allow. If I find I’m not writing that much, I think I might post installments here, but let’s go big first. At the same time, I had two friends who shared the various prose they’ve written and it makes me want to join their ranks. In addition, after reading the Fifty Shades trilogy, I see hope that you don’t have to be a fantastic writer for people to want to read your work. So a growing need, possible mentors/role models, and examples of success make me feel encouraged to produce something.

I’ve thought of myself as a blogger for a few years now, and occasionally I consider myself a writer. When it comes to being an author or poet though, it’s new territory for me and I like exploring that. It’s been a fantastic way to connect with some friends in ways that I haven’t before (and somehow Joseph Gordon-Levitt keeps cropping up in conversations with writer friends – who is this guy?!). I can’t wait to have more conversations about our writing journeys as we all work to produce something to share. I also find reading to be a completely different experience now that I notice what I like and don’t like about each author’s style. I feel like a new world is opening up to me and I look forward to stepping in!

365great Day 296: boba

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365great challenge day 296: bobaI started drinking boba drinks sometime in junior year of high school, I think. There was a place at the food court in the mall that sold them and I remember going there to get black tea smoothies with boba. I loved how the iciness of the drink froze them up just so – so they were a little bit chewy, a little bit crunchy. They’re nice and sweet without being overwhelming and they add a fun element to your drink. I try to get them whenever I can and it’s always been a fun time to hang out with friends over boba drinks. Sometimes I go for the milk tea and sometimes I got for the fruity tea. I used to get a wonderfully light white tea but it’s no longer being offered. 🙁 Still, I love just about any boba drink, hot or cold, and I love how they provide a great way to spend time with friends.

Fifty Shades review

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cover of fifty shades darker book by e l james part of fifty shades of grey trilogySo I finished the Fifty Shades trilogy earlier this week and I’ve pretty much already forgotten what happened in book two (I read it in one day so maybe I was a bit rushed and didn’t get to fully absorb the story). I read through the first two books rather quickly, but had to take a break when I got to the third. I guess I started to get bored of the story line. I think I went into this expecting something very specific and when it started veering away from that, I had to readjust my expectations. Overall though, they were very easy reads and I can see why the series was popular – it definitely appeals to the masses more than something more intellectual and it’s a nice escape into a world of “reality” that really is basically fantasy. I’ll want to check out the movie when it comes out, since I’m very curious which elements they’ll keep and also if they’ll be producing one movie per book or sort of roll it all into one. Read on for my thoughts on the books!

Spoiler alert! Don’t read on if you haven’t read the books and plan on it, unless you’re cool with spoilers.

Not that naughty

First of all, I expected the books to be much more naughty than I felt they were. I had this impression of women reading the novel blushing, so I thought there’d be some crazy stuff in there. Instead, I felt like most of the scenes were pretty tame considering what I imagine the world of BDSM can be like. Then again, if it was super intense it probably would have deterred much of the readership. Part of the popularity was probably due to the naughty enough but not too dirty content. Maybe my tolerance for erotica is higher than most. Funny since I’ve hardly read that genre.

Sense of confusion

When it comes to the plot, I started to get dizzy from the crazy back and forth mood swings. Like Ana constantly says, it’s all so mercurial. I didn’t like how she was always so concerned about really angering him. Whenever she stood up for herself, she’d immediately back down the moment she thought Christian was truly getting upset with her. I’ve definitely felt the confusion of trying to gauge a guy’s mood and it’s no fun, so in a way it brings back unpleasant memories. Speaking of confusion, I was reminded of times when I wasn’t sure what I wanted. I’ve had similar struggles of wondering, “Do I want this? Do I want him? How much?” When your heart and mind battle, it’s disorienting and very easy to lose yourself.

Workaholic with time?!

It didn’t seem realistic at all that Christian would just drop everything and go see (stalk) Ana while running this giant empire. Early on, that really threw me off because it just felt so impossible. I’ve never known someone that successful in business to be the type to stop working on the weekends or at night. Part of why they became so rich/powerful is because they’re insane workaholics. Ignoring all that to go chasing after some girl? Not likely. At least not to the extent that he was portrayed to be doing it. I did like that in the last book we begin to see him always taking care of work while being around Ana – that’s when it started to feel more realistic.

Feeling bought

I can absolutely relate to Ana’s reaction to his wealth and his desire (need?) to buy her things. I’ve had to turn down some offers because I didn’t want to feel bought and I wanted the guy to know that I wasn’t using him for his money. I think wealthy men often use their money as a crutch to try to get what they want, rather than earning it more organically. Of course, I’m sure it works in some situations, but if you want my company and attention, it’s far better to earn it by being a good, interesting person. Otherwise, you might always wonder if I’m only staying because I like having a sugar daddy. In fact, Christian thought for a moment that maybe that’s what Anastasia was after all along when she was at the bank. But after you start getting more comfortable with the person, it’s nice to feel taken care of now and then. At that point it’s a matter of feeling in control of how much is spent on you. I’m ok with my meals being bought, but not my wardrobe. Every now and then I’d accept jewelry or a gadget or an accessory. However, I’m not comfortable with that until I’ve been with someone for awhile, since it feels more like an expression of affection than attempting to get affection by then. I’m sure plenty of people will criticize how Ana becomes rather complacent to the gift showering, but I can totally see where she’s coming from.

Open and honest

There were some conversations and interactions that I really enjoyed because Christian and Ana were being so open with each other. Sometimes it would be a blunt statement or matter-of-fact handling of an “embarrassing” situation, which is what I value in my relationships. I like being able to say or do pretty much anything and feel safe in sharing that. I think many relationships break down in this aspect and it’s one of the most important things to work on. If you can’t accept each other for being human with all the flaws that come with, it’s going to be a tough ride. And if you can’t trust someone enough to share your crazy flaws, your relationship will probably get stuck. I think I tend to be really open with people because I want to connect on a deeper level. If they can’t handle it… well, I guess that’s just too bad.

So easy to read you

I had to laugh at the parts where Ana kind of unintentionally gave away what was on her mind. I do that ALL THE TIME. In fact, last night I was out with friends and said too much and ended up having to share things that I wouldn’t have come up if I kept my mouth shut! Alas, once I open a can of worms I generally let them spill out and roll with it. After all, I’m super open, remember? But every now and then I keep putting it off and trying to close the lid when I feel it’s just not something we’d want to deal with. At least it mostly ends up being something like sharing a random embarrassing story (or picture) about myself, which I’m cool with. Let’s all have a laugh together!

Shattering heartbreak

I was not a fan of how the first book ended, but I’ve been through something just like it so I can see how it changes the dynamic of a relationship. I was reminded of the crushing feeling of hopelessness and immense sadness when you think the relationship is over, but your heart is not at all ready to accept it. I remember bawling my eyes out and basically wailing until my eyes and throat hurt. I wore myself out and then exhaustion took hold, when you’re just numb to everything. Much like Christian and Ana, Panda and I got through that time and he eventually saw that he wanted me enough to change (in our case he left me because he was starting school again and didn’t think he had time for me).

Broken man fixed

I felt like it was way too easy for Christian to change. While it’s much like what Panda and I went through, it certainly wasn’t that simple. Christian didn’t seem to struggle with his demons nearly as much I would have expected, if he’s really that scarred. It seemed more like Ana kept worrying about it, with Christian never bringing up trying to do more Red Room stuff. In fact, I don’t know if he would have ever tried anything without Ana asking him if he wanted to (and sometimes practically begging him to!).

Elevators

Oh yes, that enclosed space where you know for a few seconds that nobody else will be there. So much can happen. So much has, at times. 😉

Sarcasm

There’s one part where I believe Christian tells Ana that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit. I have a friend who always told me that! Lol.

Feeling desirable

Who doesn’t like feeling good about themselves? The way that Christian treats Ana and always compliments her… reminds me of certain people and the way they make/made me feel. It makes me blush when people find me attractive, but generally I enjoy it if they’re not being too pushy. All the times that Christian buries his face in Ana’s hair or tells her how soft her skin is or how great she smells… ah yes, those are memories I have. I’m sure much of the appeal of these books is the fact that women would love to feel loved and cherished the way Ana is when Christian is appreciating her. Don’t we all have that inner goddess?

Subconscious and inner goddess

While we’re on that topic… I was pretty amused by the appearance of Ana’s subconscious and inner goddess. The interplay between them and her is quite interesting and I’ve definitely felt like I have both those in me too. What a fun way to personify that aspect.

Too perfect

Yeah, so another problem I have with this whole relationship is that they seem too perfect for each other. Christian never has nightmares when he’s with Ana? Really? They have perfect sex every time? Come on. This story is supposed to be based in reality, but some elements make it more fantastical than a story with unicorns and elves.

Fifty Shades Darker

I didn’t feel like the second book presented anything darker. Maybe it should have been lighter.

Finally…

The character names? Ana Steele and Christian Grey, really? Isn’t that fitting the theme a little too well? Well, whatever, small bone to pick.

All in all the books were nice, easy reads. I found them to be a great way to get my mind off of my life and get lost in an incredulous one of Ana Steele/Grey. There were many elements I connected to and some that didn’t make sense, but hey fiction is for me to forget about reality so I could forgive it. I actually plan on reading this series again now that I know everything that went on. Maybe I’ll notice more interesting themes emerge.

365great Day 295: skinny jeans

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365great challenge day 295: skinny jeansFor the longest time, I didn’t get into skinny jeans. Then I got my token pair two or three years ago, which I didn’t wear all that often. Somehow I got to the point where I decided to get a bunch more in the past few months and now I’m almost always reaching for a pair. I had always thought that my calves were too thick for this style of jeans, so I generally got ones with flares. No need to worry about whether my legs would be too large for those! After many years, I tried one pair and found that either my calves had shrunk or they weren’t quite as big as I thought. Since then I think my legs have gotten more trim so I can actually pull off skinny jeans now. I really like them because I don’t have pant legs dragging on the ground (though they tend to leave my ankles more exposed and cold) and they fit easily into boots, which I need to wear a lot more of now that I’m in winter weather. It also helps that they make me feel great about my legs again, large as they may be.

Julep Starter Box review

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I’ve been waiting around for a Julep starter box that I really liked and I finally came across one with a beauty item that I would love to try. A typical box includes two nail polish shades and one beauty item (one of their style profiles features all beauty items). Up until now, every time I checked, that bonus product was something I either already had or wasn’t interested in. But then I came across the most recent one, which included the Luxe Repair Skin Serum and I was sold. I mean, the first box is free (you pay $3.99 shipping) so that’s a pretty awesome deal.

I got this one right after the Naughty & Nice Mystery Box, so I’ve got to admit it looked small and sparse, but I still liked it! I’m not sure if I’d spend $20 for it though, so I’m probably going to be skipping many months of my Julep subscription (luckily you can skip every month so you’re never stuck with something you don’t like). The current starter boxes now include the Mighty Nail & Cuticle Serum as the beauty item, which I have, so I’m really glad I snagged this box while it was available!

Julep is just under $20 per box and comes with 2 nail polish colors and a beauty product, 3 nail polish colors, or 2 beauty products (depending on your style profile choice). They offer plenty of upgrade and add-on options too. Boxes are sent monthly unless you choose to skip (which is very easy to do). They offer a referral program that earns you points towards free boxes.

first look at julep maven boho glam starter box contents

First look at the inside of the box.

julep maven boho glam starter box contents with welcome card

I went for the Boho Glam style, so I got a cute card for that.

You also get a reusable baggie, which I’m guessing only comes the first time as a welcome gift!

set of julep polishes in tatiana and michelle

The two colors for this style profile were Tatiana and Michelle.

julep luxe repair skin serum

And the product I was very happy to receive, the Luxe Repair Serum!

I’m excited to try all of these items, but haven’t yet. I’ve been really getting into serums lately, ever since I read about how they penetrate your skin deeper (thanks for that info Yuzen!). I like the idea that it gets into your layers of skin well below the surface. It feels so enriching and nourishing!

[This post contains affiliate links. Signing up through them helps support my subscription and I’d be ever so grateful. 🙂 All opinions are my own and I received no compensation for this review. I just purchased this box and wanted to share what I got!]

365great Day 294: childhood blankets

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365great challenge day 294: childhood blanketsThis blanket has been with me ever since I can remember. Over the years, its pattern has faded and the stuffing is all out of place, but it is oh so soft and comforting. While I’ve tried a multitude of other blankets, they can never replace this one and I hope I have it forever. I remember snuggling up with it when I was sick, playing fortress with it when I wanted to escape into my own world, and falling asleep with it enveloping me. I’ve wondered about the girls on it many a time and come up with stories about what is going on in the scene. Whenever I am home with my parents, I use this blanket and just pile on whatever else on top when it’s not warm enough. I’ve loved the smell of it freshly laundered and buried my face in it to capture my tears and wrapped my cats in it like it was swaddling cloth. It may be worn and old, but that is exactly what makes it great, for it holds a power to make me feel cared for.

Love overflowing

laelene Posted in general blog, relationships,Tags: , , , , ,
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Here’s what I love about this time of year: people are happy, people are celebrating.

I came home initially feeling a bit like I was escaping the challenges of my new life for a bit. Taking a break to return to a place that is familiar, with wide networks of people I know. At first it was a quiet time for me to reflect and enjoy the peace. As my birthday drew near, I started to make plans with people and by the time I leave I’ll have had about half a dozen meet ups with very different social groups. I hadn’t quite realized how lonely and disconnected I felt until I began reconnecting. Suddenly I noticed that I was happier and the feeling multiplied on my birthday, as old friends left me messages. It’s such a marvelous feeling to have all these social connections and I’m going to have to find some groups to get involved with out east.

Not only are a ton of people around for the holidays, they are generally in high spirits. This is a time to reunite with loved ones, to reflect on a year gone by, to celebrate a fresh new start. A new year gives people hope and something to look forward to. It’s the perfect time to try to make the kinds of changes we’d like to see in our lives. Oh, and for me it’s also a time to think about the age I just passed and what another year can bring. I certainly don’t feel 28, but hey it happened! The combination of people being excited about the prospects of a new year, happy to be with family, and wishing me well on my birthday has been such a mood booster.

green tea latte drink with 3d latte art bear and the world love written on its bellyI feel loved. Loved by my family (Missy included), loved by my fiance, loved by my friends. The pride in my mom’s demeanor when she told me about my birthday gift was priceless. My parents’ love for me runs incredibly deep and when they can set me up for a good life, it makes them happy. This year they were able to gift me a sizable contribution towards the down payment of the condo. It’s not about the money itself, but the fact that they can provide me with a springboard toward a life of success and happiness. And seeing how proud it makes them touches my heart. I am so fortunate to have hardworking parents who put so much into me.

It’s times like these that I’m reminded of a quote from Sister Wives: “Love should be multiplied, not divided.” Indeed, I don’t see why loving one person takes away from the love of another. I love the people in my life in vastly different ways, depending on the nature of our relationships. At the moment I feel so much joy in the love around me it’s beautiful. I guess it’s also easy because I can manage my time between all the people (and animals) I want to be around. I don’t have any of them hogging my time and energy or complaining that something else is. And so I’m at a good place again, basking in the final days of this retreat as I look to transition back east and find some friends outside of work. Maybe I’m ready for 2014 after all.

365great Day 293: skateboarding

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365great challenge day 293: skateboardingOne of my favorite hobbies is skateboarding. I hardly get to go out cruising anymore, but back in my final year at UCLA, I sure did live it up. I’m partial to longboards because you can glide along much easier. In particular, I love the Loaded brand for their super flexible bamboo boards. It is so liberating to go down a street, sidewalk, or boardwalk with a gentle breeze caressing my face and the sun smiling down upon me. It’s also a very rewarding feeling when people gape at me and my awesome board, marveling that a girl just skated by them. I guess not many women decide to learn how to skate, so I feel somewhat accomplished that I can. Plus, it’s improved my balance immensely! 😛 There’s a great freedom in skateboarding that I just don’t feel with anything else and I love it.

Photo A Day Challenge December 2013

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I may not be ready for 2014, but it’s here, so I’ll just take a quick look back at the last month’s photo a day shots to take me back to 2013… I liked playing with different interpretations for #light. To kick off this year, I’ll go with a more abstract theme of moment(s). It should offer a lot of flexibility!

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