Three dozen years

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , ,
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Man, when I realized that I had basically forgotten it was my zodiac year this year, I was pretty disappointed, but my dad made a good point that I still have a month yet, since Chinese New Year isn’t until Feb! So I’ll be sure to make the most of this final month in the Ox year, wearing some extra red, finding some of the various oxen items I have, and generally just remembering that it is my year.

It’s been insanely rainy here the past two weeks, so I’ve been holed up at home staying dry and spending time with the cats. I’m catsitting Zephyr again and she and Smokey have both learned which side of the house is for them, so they don’t even go looking for each other. I try to make sure both of them get a fair share of attention, so there’s some switching back and forth between the sides.

Today I got a chance to get in a nap with Smokey, which was nice, since she was in an unusually happy mood that made her snuggly. By mid-afternoon, I cooked some food but before I could eat it, I had to get ready to head to my parents. They got tickets to see Shen Yun and we were going to eat dinner together first. The food was really tasty and I enjoyed all the dishes, feeling very satisfied and full. We got to the event with plenty of time and got a chance to wander around before settling in. I’ll review the show another time, but overall impression is that it was a quality performance that gives a good glimpse into Chinese performances. If you can’t make it to China to find something like this, it’s a good intro.

And just like that, I’ve returned home to hungry cats (and now, self). It was a nice relaxing day for me, just the way I like and I really enjoyed not thinking about work. That’s one of my favorite things about my birthday, I never work and refuse to. It’s my one sacred day.

Contrived phrases

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: ,
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I’m generally one to avoid saying things that feel contrived*, which to me is just about any situation (often a holiday or celebration) where you’re expected to say the same things. Case in point:

Happy Thanksgiving! I’m so thankful for you.

Happy Veterans’ Day! Thank you for your service.

It’s not that I’m not grateful, but it feels so forced and fake when you all have to say the same thing at the same time. I know that this can make me seem like a grinch but I really hate insincere things and when I feel obligated to say it, then it’s not exactly wholehearted.

I much prefer when things come naturally – something happens that reminds you of why you care for someone or are grateful for something, and you express it. Why wait for a certain time to year to do that?

I understand that it’s a reminder to think of things like that, but in that case the holiday probably doesn’t come often enough. Shouldn’t we apply thoughtfulness, reflection, and appreciation in our lives more often? I really struggle with a set time that everybody says the same things but who knows how much they actually mean it.

It’s a similar vein of thought that leads me away from gifts for birthdays, anniversaries, or holidays. It started sometime in my teens, when my parents and I came to an agreement that there was no need to wait until my birthday each year for them to get me certain presents that I could start making use of sooner. So instead of gifts on those days, it’s more about spending time together and doing things together. Meanwhile, throughout the year we are cognizant of gifting as appropriate based on various other factors (need/desire, sales/deals, etc.). While it’s nice to take advantage of holiday sales, the timing doesn’t always make for a practical decision.

I really struggle to do enough to satisfy common courtesy so people don’t think I’m being rude, yet not spouting out fakeness that makes me uncomfortable and feel fake. I hope it comes off ok.

*Also, side note that in writing this I almost wrote “contrite” a few times before I caught myself, which led me down a tiny rabbit hole comparing contrived, contrite, and trite:
1. contrived = not natural/spontaneous, but created or artificial
2. contrite = remorseful, feeling guilty
3. trite = overused, unoriginal

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