Traveling light

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Wow, it feels so great to be flying with a half-empty suitcase. I have no crazy heavy bag on my shoulder (and can you believe it actually is a bit sore? Must be some sort of ghost feeling) – all I have is a clutch and my suitcase. I have so little with me that things are falling around in my suitcase. There are no toiletries, no change of clothes, no bulging bags. It’s really refreshing to be free of all that stuff.

traveling light with half-empty suitcase and clutch

Instead what I do have are my gadgets (phone, tablet, laptop) and chargers, gifts for my family from our Orlando trip, and my wallet. That’s pretty much it! Now on the way back it’s going to be a completely different story; I’ll have tons of things I want to transfer from my parents’ to my now home. So for now I will savor the ease of traveling with a minimal bag, not having to worry if I overstuffed my bags or if my shoulder will break off from the strain of carrying it.

The click

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canvas logoYou know when you hear something – a philosophy or idea – that just clicks with you? It strikes you to your core, makes you nod subconsciously, and might even put a smile on your face. I’ve been getting that lately with Canvas, my new employer! I love their approach to business, I love what their product/service provides, and I love getting to know my coworkers. It’s surreal in a sense and I keep wondering how in the world I deserve to be here… am I really good enough? I must be since they hired me and I did feel really confident throughout the interview process; I did a ton of research and know so much about the company, its products/services, and even its people. But still, every time I think about what a great match we are, I am amazed that I am here. It’s a wonderful feeling.

Today I had a day of training with some other noobs; I learned a lot and it also reinforced my values. That feeling just can’t be replaced. When your values and goals align so well with your company’s you know you’re in the right place. I found myself loving it when we went over the Canvas Way and how the “why” of what we do is far more important than the “how” or “what” (not that you don’t need those too). That’s exactly the approach I’m trying to use when I describe Canvas to people – it’s not just a company that transforms paperwork into digital forms. Oh no, Canvas is a company revolutionizing the way businesses operate by streamlining processes and removing inefficiencies because (and here’s the Canvas why) “we believe that by helping organizations and individuals share information, we can radically transform how people around the globe connect.”

I mean, think about it: when you are able to collect and share data in real time you save time and energy. No more data entry just to get information on paper forms into a database! When you are able to dynamically capture information beyond what paper allows (like pictures, GPS coordinates, and barcodes) you become more effective.  No need to upload pictures and add them to files. No more confusion about where a service technician was at a certain time. No more calculating the wrong price of a part or forgetting what was fixed/replaced. All this information and more can be quickly captured and stored in the cloud. No more lost forms! Beyond all this, Canvas is a fantastic solution for consumers too. In fact, I plan on using it when I move to the new condo so I can track where all my stuff is with pictures to ensure I can find exactly what I want.

Ah, but I digress. What I really wanted to say is that I am really excited about this position and how my role within the company will change and grow. I believe wholeheartedly in their philosophies and approach to how they operate. It’s a wonderful feeling when you’re empowered and encouraged and challenged. I haven’t really felt that sort of motivation from my self-employment. It’s definitely time for me to get back into the work force and do all that I can to push Canvas forward!

Nuances of car shopping

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silver kia optima ex front viewYippee! I am now the proud new owner of a Kia Optima EX. It has been quite the path to getting it, with a lot of ups and downs (ups when I saw what I could get in it and downs when I saw how much all of it would cost…). The ultimate price I’m paying is higher than I had hoped for, but for all the features I still think I’m getting a deal. I thought I’d spend more time looking than I did, but that seems to be a trend… with the condo, with ring shopping, and now with the car. It seems like once I start looking, I find what I want pretty quickly and then I pounce! I can’t believe I’m driving off with this vehicle already. It still doesn’t feel real! This is a car I expect to keep for a long time and I really like it. I’ll have to introduce you later – for now, I wanted to just share some of my experience and hopefully help you avoid some of the mistakes I made.

Now I think what I did do right is not letting them rush me too much and making sure to do comparison shopping and check the Blue Book. Admittedly, I wasn’t sure how to understand the numbers KBB provided, since the Fair Market Value was lower than the Dealer Invoice (and shouldn’t the price people are buying at be higher than what it costs the dealer?). I believe the difference is due to the rebates Kia offers, which can bring down the price a good $1000-2000. So, I compared what I was getting to that number and I feel pretty comfortable with it.

One of the mistakes I did make was not getting the complete price quote with all fees, taxes, etc. I thought the price they quoted me included the freight charge of $775, but it didn’t. They also charge a processing fee in addition to the taxes and some other small charge I’ve forgotten. I estimated all that to be about $2000 but it ended up being $2500, putting me over my ideal budget. If what’s most important to you is the overall price of the vehicle, then $500 can be a big deal. If all you care about is your monthly payment, maybe the extra $8.33 a month (for a 60-month lease) doesn’t seem as bad. It all depends on what’s important to you.

Another thing I should have thought through more carefully was whether I’d buy or lease. Based on the price differential for monthly payments, it’d be just under 6 and a half years before I’d break even. So basically, if I was planning on keeping the car for 7 or more years it’d be best to buy, but if I didn’t want to keep it that long then I might be better off leasing. I do plan on keeping this vehicle for a long time, but I had to spend some time at the dealership working out the numbers to make sure I was making the right choice. Don’t allow room for self-doubt! Make sure you calculate these numbers ahead of time so you are completely comfortable with your decision.

Finally, while I did not let them rush me the way they were trying, I still did move faster than I probably should have. I’d recommend allotting at least half the day for the back and forth and waiting around time. I sort of got into signing paperwork too fast and didn’t call up my mom until I had a question. At that point, she started questioning some of the prices I was paying but I had already agreed to them. I mean, as long as I’m happy with the price, that’s what matters, right? I really should have called her before I signed anything, just to work out any kinks and see if she had recommendations. Oh well!

Please don’t assume just one

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Please don’t assume I’m from one country.

Please don’t assume I’m from one state.

Please don’t assume I only had one major.

Please don’t assume I only attended one high school.

Please don’t assume I only attended one college/university.

diploma double major in psychology and economics

Not just one.

I often have trouble filling out forms or answering simple questions, because my answers are far more complex than what is assumed. Facebook prompted me to fill out some more information on my profile and it asked me things like what I majored in when I attended the University of York. When I tried to input Psych & Econ, it wouldn’t let me. It tried to force me to choose from their pre-determined selections, so I skipped that question. Then it asked me if I graduated from a certain high school. Well, no I didn’t, because I had to move my junior year and graduated from the new high school. Yet if I were to say I didn’t graduate from that first school, doesn’t that look bad? I skipped that question too. Well, of course after that it asked me if I graduated from the University of York! And no, I didn’t, because I did a year abroad there but returned to UCLA to earn my two Bachelor’s of Arts. Once again, saying no wouldn’t look so great, so I skipped it.

chinese passport and american passport

I’m not just one or the other.


All this reminded me of this issue constantly coming up in my life. People assume there are simple answers to their simple questions. Maybe they’re right for most people. But me? There’s almost never a simple answer. Ask me what country I’m from and I don’t know if you want to know my family’s lineage and ethnic origin or the country that I grew up in. Ask me where I’m from and I don’t know which of the five states or two countries I spent my childhood in to tell you first. Even in those security questions when they ask your first pet’s name, I can’t quite figure out which one to use (my cat started with one name and then we used another). Chilldhood best friend? Depending on the state I was in, I had different ones. Oh yeah, and my name! Which one of those did you want to know? My birth (Chinese) name, the romanization of my name, my new legal (adopted English) name?

I try to keep things simple when I answer these questions, but then so much information gets lost. Trying to force one singular answer from me is like zooming in on one corner of a picture. I wish it was easier to get people to zoom out and stop trying to pigeonhole me into “this or that” answers. Do I have to explain myself every single time? Lately, it seems like it.

Hanging with MommySplurge & co!

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I waited to write today until I got back from an afternoon with Brandy (of MommySplurge) and her kids. It’s the first time I’ve gotten to meet up with a blogger, so that was pretty cool. She was kind enough to invite me over to hang out with her family and play around with the Homegrown Collective box she got. Yippee! Of course I totally forgot to get a picture with her, but here’s a little review of our day:

girl putting on bright pink fake nails

I brought some things to share and the kids dug right into the fake nails!

prep pad and pink mini nail file for adhesive nails

The adhesive nails came with a prep pad and baby nail file! Cute.

homegrown collective july box coconut theme

Once we got settled, it was time to dig into the Homegrown Collective July box!

jar of hard cocoa butter

The cocoa butter was so firm we had to get a knife and really dig in there.

homegrown collective orange coconut lip balm in tins

As we poured the lip balm, a thin layer dried on the jar. Were we supposed to us that? There was extra so we used a little tin with no lid. Looks so professional!

homegrown collective coconut solid lotion bars

Once again there was extra for the lotion bar so we made an extra sliver with the lid. They’re still cooling!

After all that was made, we spent quite some time chatting and playing with the kids. I got worn down pretty fast, after playing firewoman, hide and seek, and dinosaurs. Brandy even got in a short nap. 😉 I don’t know how she keeps up with the kids! Will there be a nanny in my future? I might need one!

tatcha evening aburatorigami and julep green tea facial blotting papers

Since I’d brought items to share/trade, Brandy offered me these!! I’m sooo excited because they were both items I’d really wanted to try. Thanks lady! 😀

homegrown collective orange coconut scrub, lip balm, and solid lotion bar

I got to take home one of each of the items we made today! AWESOME!! I know you’re jealous of my scrub, lip balm, and solid lotion bar. 😉

Job history: real world edition

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If you missed the first three parts of this series, you can go read about the jobs I had in high school and the jobs I had during college (while school was in session and when it was summertime).

Communications think tank and consulting firm

In December of 2008, I officially entered “the real world” after finishing my final quarter to earn my double BA in Psychology & Economics. I was still taking time in the new year to ponder my direction when I happened to chat with a friend who thought I should join her in Singapore. She was working for Caelan & Sage, a small communications consulting company, and felt like I would enjoy it there. We arranged a Skype chat with her bosses, the co-founders, and next thing I knew I was flying to Singapore to work for a few months!

sitting at desk laughing

Enjoying one last sit at my C&S desk before leaving.


Out there, the culture was much more different than I had expected. It was neither the Western culture I had grown up in nor the Eastern culture I had been influenced by. While I enjoyed the people I met and worked with, it got to be lonely (especially since Panda was still in LA). Work ranged from meeting with clients to tapping away at proposals. Eventually I fell into a more internal development role, since I was interested in that sort of thing. I’ve always been fascinated by company culture and managing the activities and resources within a business. I got to work building an internal reference database and doing support roles for the projects.

Green conference

Nearly half a year later, it was time to return to the US. My stint in Singapore had been a rich experience but my heart was still stateside. As I was still trying to figure out a direction for a job hunt, Panda and I happened upon a recycling machine at Whole Foods with an ad for a green company. We went online to learn more and somehow stumbled upon the Opportunity Green website. I think being green (or more accurately, resource-conscious) has always been important to me. My parents raised me to not waste water, electricity, and the like. In college, I started to learn about all these green initiatives and it became a growing passion. Opportunity Green seemed like the perfect opportunity to explore the world of green solutions and they were looking for interns, so I immediately applied!

manning press & speaker registration table at opportunity green 2009

I loved interacting with attendees as they arrived for OG 09.


I worked with OG starting in September for a few weeks leading up to the conference that year, then stayed a few more months after. Pre-conference, I managed press and media partnerships, ensuring that we were getting the coverage promised by various media outlets and they were getting the appropriate number of press passes for the event. I helped set up many of these agreements and then managed a spreadsheet listing all the coverage OG was getting, for reference. When it came time for the actual conference, I managed press and speaker registration. I welcomed them all (many of whom I recognized by name from all the correspondence we had done) and ensured they had all the information they needed – press kits and directions to the press room for the media folk and escorts to the speaker lounge for the speakers. Once it was all wrapped up, I followed up with our media partners to get final articles and videos out for the world to read and watch.

Online & affiliate marketing firm

By the end of 2009, my parents were getting anxious that I get a “job” job, so I had to leave OG and focus on my job hunt. I found many exciting opportunities and ultimately ended up taking an offer with WebYes!, LLC. My start date was February 1st and it launched me into quite a learning experience over the course of the next two years! WebYes dealt in many areas, mostly in the online marketing realm. I was brought on to be an affiliate manager, so I was trained to set up offers, both in terms of negotiating agreements with affiliates and uploading the appropriate information to a platform we were using. A few months in, my manager left and I worked directly with the CEO to try to hold things together. I was still very new to all this, so it was definitely a challenge. I didn’t want to run to the CEO every time I had a question, so I had to learn a lot on my own.

centerfield media (formerly webyes) office

There were TVs everywhere with a laidback vibe at Centerfield.


A few months of keeping it together on my own (I basically was my own department at that time), a new manager was brought on to expand our affiliate marketing efforts. In addition, our CEO decided to bring on a co-CEO with expertise in many areas of online marketing. The company was rebranded to become Centerfield Media. We expanded to SEO and SEM, among other things. I finally found myself with someone to work with, and soon the one or two reports I managed grew until much of my day was consumed with reporting. I created spreadsheets to track a ton of performance metrics and others were hired to focus on the sales side of things. My new manager then parted ways with the company and I sort of got absorbed into the team of another manager. The new co-CEO took over the projects that my former manager had been working on and I found myself splitting my time between the new manager and the co-CEO.

The combination of my role evolving away from what I wanted to do, having been in a long-term long-distance relationship with Panda (he moved out east for a job), not seeing as much growth potential for my role anymore, and the hope of a new business opportunity with a business partner led me to decide to leave. Oh yeah, and the horrible commute I endured was wearing down on me too (3 hours a day roundtrip). This was early March 2012 and I felt like I needed to make a change, so I spoke to my new manager. He kind of saw it coming, perhaps because he too recognized that my potential was not being fully utilized. I’ve always wanted to start my own business, and the timing felt right. I finished my last day in late March after training a few coworkers on the work I had been doing.

Soon after I left, they hired a girl to supposedly take over my role but then I got an email from the manager asking me if I knew someone suitable for the position. I had helped the company find a designer over a year earlier, so he thought I might have the right connections for this position too. I reached out to my network and as luck would have it, a really great candidate surfaced. He actually was the one who told me about the demoing opportunity I took a few years back! He eventually was hired to help take over the reporting I was doing and I’m sure much more too.

My own ventures!

sitting at desk working on making origami jewelry

I even tried my hand at making origami jewelry for PandaLoves!


Meanwhile, I was settling into life as a self-employed businesswoman. Over the course of the next year, I would try many things, mostly in the e-commerce realm but also in blogging and social media. The business that I was working on with the coworker had to take a backseat when he began wedding planning, so I began to sell trinkets and beauty products online. I created DeckMyPhone.com to sell iPhone cases, since ones I had gotten for myself were getting compliments from strangers. I also opened up PandaLoves.com for gift items like skincare, jewelry, and trinkets. I sold both through those sites as well as on eBay. It got to the point where I was sending out many packages a week and really getting the hang of things, but I wasn’t sure how to expand my operations. I explored a couple of avenues, but they didn’t end up panning out.

I then thought that since I was selling all these fun little things from Asia, it’d be fun to explore putting together a subscription box of trinkets. Each month, I could send out 3-5 cute items sourced from various Asian countries – the stuff you’d expect to find in the markets and bazaars out there. It would be like getting a piece of those regions for those who couldn’t afford to go themselves. Plus, I could include the back stories of the cultural significance of the item or the life story of the person who made them. I began to put together a Kickstarter, since that’s a great way to get funds and ensure you have an appropriate customer base to start.

New direction

Right around that time, Panda and I started to find some tension in our relationship. I didn’t feel like he was that supportive of my ventures and I was discontent with not being able to spend much time with him. When we finally hashed it out, I came to the conclusion that the most important thing to me right now is being able to settle in with him and the most important thing to him is being able to not have to worry about my career and financial future. So, we agreed that the best thing at this stage would be for me to move out east and find a job. We’d settle out here and I could do some selling on the side. That Kickstarter would be tabled. And that’s where I’m at now! I’m currently interviewing for a position at a company I’m really excited about and I hope I get to join their team! I’m focusing on the new condo we’ll be moving in to at the end of the year and saving up enough money for us to comfortably afford the down payment and get everything else we’re going to need – a car for me to drive to work in, some furniture to fill the condo with, a new laptop for me and maybe him, a pair of sneakers to exercise in, and a few other random purchases I’d like to make.

What has your job history been in the “real” world? Did you switch jobs a lot or stick with the same organization for a long period?

July Favorites 2013

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Let’s do a recap of the things I enjoyed in July!

collage of july 2013 favorites including julep products, alo drinks, mossimo flip flops, juice beauty skin clearing kit, mossimo bikini, pocket planes, closetmaid cubeicals, dr. scholl's for her insoles, and minnie mouse tank top

1. Julep products – Ok, so this is actually a picture of the trade in which I got a bunch of my most recent Julep products. I’ve actually yet to purchase any Julep products since I’ve gotten much of what I want through trades. Still, if they start selling the green tea blotting papers on their site, I might have to spring for it. I’ve yet to find someone willing to trade! At least I’ve gotten to try their gel top coat, multiples shades of polish, and the cool nail polish dispenser shown here. I’ll definitely continue to try to acquire their products and one of these days I might just subscribe.

2. ALO drinks – I first tried these when they came in my March Goodies box. I really enjoy the bits of aloe floating around, as well as the light fruity flavor of the drink. So when I saw them at Whole Foods, I was pretty happy. I waited until they went on sale and took advantage of the cheaper price, plus the box discount that Whole Foods offers, buying a dozen. I got a total of 5 different flavors to determine which ones I like the most. I’ve now narrowed it down to the original watermelon+peach I got from Goodies and the pomelo lemon+pink grapefruit. Depending on if I want a sweeter or more tart taste, I alternate between the two.

3. Mossimo flip flops – I eyed these at Target for just about two weeks before they went on sale! Of course I had to jump on that the moment Panda told me. The gold tips of these flip flops are so nice and the overall look is casual yet fancy. I love simple things that make you look good but don’t require upkeep – that’s why dressed up flip flops, tinted lip balms, and summer dresses are my friend. Each makes you look like you put in a lot more effort, but they’re pretty effortless. 🙂

4. Juice Beauty skin clearing system – I get emails from Juice Beauty since they’re a brand I wanted to try. When I saw an offer for a 30-day skin clearing kit, I couldn’t resist. I mean, my skin needs help, I’ve been wanting to try this brand (especially the green apple peel), and they have a money back guarantee! Might as well try it, right? I’ve got to admit that the bamboo face towel was a big draw too. I can’t get enough of cute little super soft towels! I got the box on the 10th and have been dutifully using the products as directed. I’ll be sharing my experience in another post.

5. Mossimo bikini – The last time I bought a bikini was in Thailand about four years ago and that set was quite worn! I finally decided to get a new set this summer so I could enjoy the pool without oddly droopy swimwear. I had hoped to use our Disney gift cards in Orlando to find a cute Minnie Mouse bikini, but apparently Disney’s adult swimwear consists of boring black and white pieces best fit for older generations. So, where else would I turn but Target? They had a ton of styles to choose from and I’m most picky about the shape of the bottom, so once I picked that out I just found a top that matched. This one was super cute with the little twist in the front. I also got a reversible triangle top that I can pair with the bottoms, since this top is better for lounging and not too much movement.

6. Pocket Planes – Many years ago, I started playing Pocket Frogs, where you grow and breed frogs in an effort to “collect them all.” Every now and then I get back into it and the last time this happened, they showed me an ad for another game from the same company. I decided to give it a try and now I’ve been playing Pocket Planes consistently. I’m not sure what the draw is, but I sure do want to conquer the world and build airplanes at every available location. As you can see I’ve done pretty well in North America, but have yet to venture far from that. And so the flying continues.

7. ClosetMaid Cubeicals organizer – When I “moved” out here to live with Panda last month, it was the first time I knew I’d be staying for a long time. I finally started to feel like I could make this place home, so my first order of business was to get a piece of furniture I’d wanted. I then found this perfect cube shelving solution that I can use to store my stuff and as a pseudo desk when I’m sitting on the bed. We moved it out to the living area when Panda’s dad came to visit and I’ve yet to decide where it will go in our new place, but no matter what it makes my clutter a little less crazy.

8. Dr. Scholl’s For Her – I got not only the high heel insoles pictured, but massaging gel insoles as well! Both were free – the high heel insoles came in my Sunkissed VoxBox from Influenster and the massaging gel insoles came from BzzAgent. I’ve enjoyed trying these out in my shoes and I found the high heel ones particularly helpful in my recent interview, when I wore those shoes. Not only did they make it less painful to walk in the heels, they helped my feet fill them in better. Without the insoles, my feet would have slipped in and out of the shoes as I walked since they’re more spacious than my feet require.

9. Minnie tank top – I found myself wearing this shirt quite a lot in July! It’s the perfect summer shirt – loose, light, soft. I also love the design that is cute without being too over-the-top. It was the very first item I knew I was going to buy with the Disney gift cards we had. As soon as we were down in Orlando, I made sure to track down my size in a store and claim it. I may not be a huge Disney fan, but I do enjoy my sweet tank!

Alright, that wraps up July for me. Have you tried any of these products? What would you have highlighted in your July favorites?

The nightmares

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I must be sleeping too deeply these days. Or, maybe it’s just that I’m waking up during that deep sleep, filled with dreams. Throw in the stress of worrying about everything that comes with getting a job and buying a home and you’ve got a recipe for nightmares. For the past two nights, I’ve had some pretty vivid and unpleasant dreams. The first I would definitely call a nightmare, but the second might just be a bad dream. I don’t usually remember my dreams, but when I do, my restful sleep declines. This might even have been triggered by that scary knocking on the door a few nights ago.

bottle of dream water nighttime nectar sleepstat shot

Could this be the culprit?

So it started Tuesday night. I had an interview scheduled for the next morning and it is THE job I want, so you can imagine I was a little nervous. I knew my stuff and prepared really well, plus I’d done quite well on the phone interview. That wasn’t the issue; I was anxious because I’m really counting on getting this job. In an effort to ensure I got enough sleep and would fall asleep at a reasonable hour, I took some of that Dream Water I’ve been getting in subscription boxes. The entire bottle seemed like overkill so I went with about 2/3. I fell asleep relatively easily (I’ve been known to toss and turn for hours).
sketch map showing layout of things in nightmare

A visual to help you navigate my nightmare.


Wednesday morning, 5:50 am, I jolted awake. In my dream, I was on a bus, maybe a school bus. I was headed into town or something, but decided to get off at a stop where my house was. Apparently my orange tabby from childhood, Jerriey, was playing in the bushes and I figured he probably got stuck again. I was going to retrieve him and continue on my way. Once I got off and the bus left, I paused to look for Jerriey. A car passed by and the bus neared the next turn. Then, a truck pulled over and a man got out. I started taking a few steps towards the bushes where Jerriey was, but took a quick glance at this stranger stopping here when there was no reason to. He and I looked each other in the eyes and somehow I knew: he was there to abduct and assault me. I started to run towards the house, but everything was painfully slow – apparently I had been to swim or track practice and I was sore beyond belief. I hoped that someone on the bus might notice, but it was rounding the bend. Somehow I thought that if I could run fast enough towards the fence, I could float over it (which made sense at the time because there was a hill sloping down to it so if I could just run fast enough to run straight out at the same height as the hill, I could clear the fence). Meanwhile, the man calmly pulled out his cell phone to call his brother for backup (don’t ask me how I knew – it’s a dream!). His confidence that he would catch me anyway was even more frightening than if he were chasing me.

That’s when I abruptly woke up. The terror of running from a possible kidnapper left me with a pounding heartbeat. When I checked the time, I found that I had another hour and a half before I was set to get up, so I tried to get back to sleep. For awhile, all I could do was think of what I would have done had I gotten over the fence into my backyard. Would I run through the backdoor, lock it, and hide? If I did that, would there be a way I could text 911 so I wouldn’t alert him to my whereabouts by speaking? I figured he’d be able to shatter the glass of the door and walk right in the house. As he looked around, how could I get help without betraying my hiding spot? Or would I not hide but run out the front door to a neighbor’s? Would I pretend this wasn’t even my house and run through the yard to the street in front and find help? I didn’t want this guy to know for sure that I lived here so he could come back to find me. After running through some of these scenarios, I fell asleep and luckily had no more dreams.

Then last night I went to sleep earlier than usual again and when I awoke this morning, I had dreamt that I was being exceptionally rude to my relatives. I believe my grandpa, cousin, and mom were involved? That one is more hazy now, but I just remember I had said something really mean to one of them (grandpa, I think) and the others were defending him. I eventually realized I was wrong, but I kept being horrible anyway because of my pride. At the point where I was getting disgusted with myself, I was awoken. It might not be a nightmare quite like the night before, but it certainly was a bad dream. I hope I never actually let pride turn me into a mean person!

I hope this isn’t some new trend and I’m not sure what about my sleeping situation or mental state might be causing it. I’m hoping that with the stress of the last few weeks melting away, so too will the nightmares. Is it possible it’s related to me sleeping earlier and waking earlier? If that’s the case, I’m in trouble since my job will require me to sleep on that new schedule. I guess I’ll just have to see how tonight goes!

Need for social connection

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Working from home is hard. Not only do you have to keep yourself motivated and on track despite all the distractions, you get isolated from people. I mean, sure it’s great to connect with people online, but nothing can truly replace sitting across from someone as you chat over cups of tea or share a delicious meal. That’s one of the reasons I’m rejoining the workforce, in addition to seeking greater learning and growth opportunities.

sitting on ground working on laptop

Just me and the laptop…

These days I find myself getting antsy around 4 PM – I’ve done a lot of my work for the day and I’m seeking a break, but nobody’s around. Sometimes I’ll have a snack but sometimes I kind of forget and just wait until dinnertime to eat. I start looking out the window as neighbors begin arriving home from their day of work and wonder when Panda will be pulling in. He’s pretty much the only person I am consistently in touch with and definitely the only one I spend time with in person. Sure, I’ll call my parents or email/text my friends, but I don’t really know anyone out here so there’s nobody to meet up with. When it’s just me and the laptop, I often wish that I had my cats with me – they’re always entertaining! However, they’d be a distraction so I guess I shouldn’t be playing with them. Instead, why not get the interaction I want by doing work together with others??

I’m really looking forward to getting back into an office so I can make new friends, get to know my coworkers, work towards a common goal of growing the company, and get more interaction overall. Nothing can quite replace being in the same physical environment (unless you have some complex video-chatting stream between all users, then maybe). Plus, it’s good to get out every day and move around. There have been days where I didn’t breathe a single breath of fresh air since I just stayed indoors on my laptop the entire time. It’s easy to start to get disconnected from the world.

Of course, I still love my online life and it’s so cool to be making blogger friends. I definitely plan on continuing with that, but it’s something that can easily be a hobby I do at night and on the weekends. I don’t have to work on it for 40 hours a week (though I certainly could) and I think it’d be a nice complement to the work I would do during the day at a workplace. I’d get a nice mix of interacting with people on the phone, in person, and online. I’m ready for that!

The pounding on the door

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , , , , , , ,
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front door as viewed from inside room

What was on the other side of the door?

It was about 1:30 am and I was working on my laptop in the living room. I heard some voices in the hall of what sounded like drunk people coming to or from an apartment. “Rowdy neighbors,” I thought. Suddenly, there was banging on the door. It sounded like the drunk people who were supposed to be leaving causing some trouble as they headed out (or kids being mischievous knocking on doors and running away). I dismissed it since it seemed like a poorly-chosen joke. Then a few minutes later, a couple more thuds followed by the doorknob turning. I was surprised to hear the knocking again and suddenly wondered if someone was trying to figure out if we were home so they could break in or something. When they tried to enter the apartment I got a little freaked out, but I figured the best policy was to act like I wasn’t here.

Unfortunately, I had a light on that you could probably see from the sidewalk, so the knocking continued. This time I carefully tiptoed to the door and hoped that the person wasn’t watching if the peephole got dark from my head blocking the light. There was a slightly disheveled man standing there. He started to call someone on his cell, so it seemed like he’d soon figure out he had the wrong address. I returned to my computer. Just a few minutes later… again, that loud knocking. At this point I wondered if Panda and his dad would wake up. They were already asleep inside the bedroom and didn’t seem to be bothered by this. This time the guy used our metal door knocker for a crisper sound.

Seriously?! It’s in the middle of the night and he won’t go away! Finally, I went up to the door again and looked out. He was just waiting there (and actually looked like a different guy… perhaps there other one was downstairs calling their friend?). I carefully opened the door and stuck out half my face to tell him he had the wrong address, please stop knocking. He looked rather dumbfounded as I quickly shut the door and locked it. By this time I definitely had some nervous energy and I was glad that he was gone, but I felt vulnerable since the porch door was right next to me and the shades weren’t drawn. What if someone climbed over? I’d be terrified.

Of course, much of that was an overactive imagination making ghosts in the dark. That guy didn’t mean to scare the pants off me, but if he hadn’t been drinking perhaps he would have been clearheaded enough to not keep banging on a door if he couldn’t get a hold of his friend. I warily went to sleep and told Panda all about it the next morning. It’s funny because in that moment of stress, I never even considered waking him up, but that’s exactly what he told me to do. In the future I’m sending him to investigate. We’ve also decided to add a welcome mat or door wreath or something to that extent to make our door look different from others – hopefully that will help!

What would you have done in this situation? Would you handle it yourself or wake up a loved one?

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