Life as a musical

laelene Posted in general blog，Tags: , , , , , ,
23 April 2010
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Panda and one of my coworkers seem to love the idea of life being like a musical.  Whenever we walk, Panda will start singing a little tune he makes up to go with the rhythm of our footsteps.  My coworker always is talking about breaking out into song and dance (and apparently he’s sizing up everyone to see who he’d want to be near if this did happen, so he could be next to the better dancers).  Yeah, I’m surrounded by strange people.

When I was younger, I used to sing a lot too.  I think for me it stemmed in my upbringing.  My parents would sing old Chinese songs for no real reason as I was growing up.  In the car, we’d pop in a cassette or CD and sing along (that actually served a purpose: keeping my dad awake and alert while driving).  Around the house, they would do so without any accompaniment.  And there’s something really harmonious about singing or humming while gardening, which is something my mother loved to do.  I never saw any shame in singing in public and only in later years did I learn to tone it down.

This unconscious behavior got suppressed over the years as people always looked at me funny or asked me why I would burst into song.  Perhaps my voice is not that great, but I didn’t care.  It felt good and it felt right.  But nowadays, that doesn’t really happen and I wonder if that feedback affected me over the years until I got to this point, where I laugh and shake my head at people who sing randomly (or would like to).  It’s a pity, because I see nothing wrong with it.  I’d like to get in touch with that part of my behavior again.

What is so wrong or strange about singing in public anyway?  I find it to be a great way of expression, and usually a positive outlet.  Though I listen to certain types of songs when I am down and want to get sadness out of my system by having a bit of a cathartic release, I can’t ever recall wanting to sing a melancholy tone to express myself.  I can imagine a sad song being sung at organized events and the like, but not really by a lone person walking the streets.  Instead, I’m always inspired by happy, positive, upbeat feelings – and  it brings a smile to almost everyone’s faces, whether or not they actually like my singing.  The spontaneous desire to sing tends to go hand-in-hand with smiling and skipping.

It would be really cool if life were a musical and people burst out into song and dance more often.  It’d certainly make my world a happier place.  For now, I’ll just settle for the bit of singing Panda and I do from time to time, usually without realizing it’s happening.  There must be something deep down that drives us to do it and why should we deny ourselves that sort of innate joy?  It’s a beautiful thing, really.

Dying

laelene Posted in general blog，Tags:
20 April 2010
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I’ve been seeing commercials lately where people with Alzheimer’s talk about how they were affected after they learned they were dying.  It struck me as interesting that people seem to think that we’re not dying until we get diagnosed with some disease.  Actually, we’re all “dying” – just at different rates.  Each of us will eventually die.  I find it intriguing that people seem to think that death is only something brought upon by disease, forgetting that we could come to an end at any point, whether or not there is a murderous disease that takes hold of us.

Why is it that people are only recognized as nearing death if there is some occurrence that speeds up our progression towards death at an “unnatural” rate?  In fact, what’s to even determine what is natural?  Perhaps how long we live is just how our body was meant to survive.  I think we should be more aware of our mortality and learn that when people get a life-threatening disease, it’s not like one minute they weren’t dying and the next they were.  In fact, the clock is ticking for us all, some just go faster than others, that’s all.  I wonder how people would live their lives if they thought that way.  There might just be fewer regrets, fewer missed opportunities as people try to navigate an uncertain life span.

Maybe it’s just semantics, but when people say “suddenly I was dying,” I always feel like bringing to their attention how that doesn’t actually make any sense.  It assumes that you weren’t dying to begin with.  Though it seems like a negative way to view the world, isn’t that exactly what living means?  To be progressing towards death as well?  That’s the way I see it anyway.  And far from let is discourage me, I’ll let it motivate me to get things done with a little more urgency, since you never know when you might not be here anymore.

Boston Market cornbread

laelene Posted in general blog，Tags: , ,
18 April 2010
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boston market cornbread

Mmm, so delicious!

My all-time favorite cornbread is the one that can be found at Boston Market. It’s soft and moist without being too crumbly. It’s sweet and has lovely little crunchy bits that make it wonderful to bite into. I absolutely love everything about them, from the taste to the texture. Whenever I go to Boston Market, it’s hard to resist buying half a dozen of them for snacking on. They’re big enough to get me by between meals, yet not too much or too heavy. They’re truly wonderful things! Too bad there aren’t very many Boston Markets in this part of the world. In fact, I only know of two (and thank goodness one is in my current hometown of Valencia).

Heated debate: religion

laelene Posted in general blog，Tags: , , , ,
16 April 2010
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I came across a TED video of Sam Harris about a week ago, which then prompted me to get his book, The End of Faith, to see what his reasons are for not only not believing in religion, but saying that such an institution is actually destroying us.  I usually don’t come across such strong opinions against religion, so I was definitely intrigued.  I’ve gone from not really caring to thinking about believing to trying to believe and back.  I settled somewhere between agnostic and atheist and haven’t really explored it since.

At work, I mentioned the premise of the book to two coworkers and one of them happened to find this YouTube playlist on Reddit that very night.  He shared it with me and I spent the night listening to this discourse (don’t worry, it’s very much in English, the intro just happens to be in Spanish because it was held in Mexico – I was confused at first too!).  It’s interesting to see how everything panned out – this is obviously a very hot issue, and one that people find very personal.  Tempers inevitably flare when people with opposing views try to talk some sense into each other.  I was almost more interested in their interactions and what they chose to focus on to support their opinions than the actual points themselves.

Admittedly, everyone brought up good points that are worthy of some pondering.  I was also amused by the last guy, who was a bit of an outcast, not fitting in with either camp and actually the very type of person that both sides could probably agree to dislike.  He seemed to best fit and agnostic point of view, dipping his toes onto either side.  Neither here nor there, so he became the pariah, pointing out cons to both points of view.  I could sympathize with him, since I don’t like the idea of outright blasting the other side (no matter which side you are on).  I’ll just continue to read the book I have (and the follow-up, Letter to a Christian Nation) and see what I may learn in the process.  I’m sure there will be a lot to consider.

Making an exit

laelene Posted in general blog，Tags: , , ,
13 April 2010
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When Hype 5-0 left America’s Best Dance Crew, it was the worst exit I’ve seen.  They looked so dejected, so hopeless when they were removed from the show it was really pathetic.  I understand that it meant a lot to them, but never have I seen a team with such poor sportsmanship.  At least pull yourselves together for 30 seconds and dance yourself off the stage.  Instead, they threw any semblance of pride they had and barely dragged themselves off-stage.  It was really disgraceful.

That was the first time a team’s exit left me with a bad taste in my mouth.  There have been other teams that exited with less-than-energetic dancing, but they held their heads up high until the doors shut behind them.  They didn’t give up and throw despair at others.  I don’t believe that the time when you get booted is the time to throw a pity party, especially in front of so many eyes.  Not that they shouldn’t show emotion and perhaps even cry as they head out.  But you can still dance and smile with tears in your eyes and put on one final show for the audience.  That is much of what being on that show is about: putting on a performance.  Plus, I never was much of a fan of them, since it seemed like they just slid by on votes, week after week.

There is a time and place for everything, and they did exactly what they shouldn’t when they shouldn’t.  Good riddance.

Wanting the best of both worlds

laelene Posted in general blog，Tags: , , ,
11 April 2010
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The past few days I’ve suddenly grown an itch to cut my hair again.  It’s getting to a nice length where cutting it won’t make it too short (and thus force me to shower in the morning so it won’t look too poofy during the day).  Yet, it’s still not quite as long as I’d like (enough for it to be considered longer than average).  Then again, I think my hair just doesn’t grow very long and probably will never reach much further than the bottom of my shoulder blades.  Besides, my impatience with it once it gets to that magical length that it refuses to grow beyond prevents me from ever allowing it to really get any longer.  After all, when you can’t easily comb out your hair with your fingers to give a quick fix, it starts to become much more of a hassle.  Nonetheless, I really like the idea of growing my hair out longer.  Pity it likely will never quite work out the way I’d like.

I think another issue I run into is that my body doesn’t allocate enough nutrients to my hair for it to get past my shoulder blades and not start to get really dry and brittle at the ends.  There is nothing quite so distasteful as finding a slew of split ends hidden in there, and getting a dry, scratchy feeling from the tips of your hair.  And my hair looks nothing like those shampoo commercials where ladies with long, flowing locks sport their shiny and extremely slippery-looking hair.

The other main obstacle is also related to its feeling – the feeling of hair on the back of my neck, which I hate more than most feelings.  There’s something about that heaviness weighing there that I really don’t like.  I’d tie my hair back more often, but I like having it down and keeping it up gives me headaches.  Plus, when it’s down, it acts as an insulator for my neck, ears, and shoulders.  Being one who gets cold easily, that little extra help really makes a difference.  I also just like how it looks that way.

I wish I could have longer hair without the hassle of dealing with it.  And I wish there was a way to keep it off my neck without tying it up.  So instead, I guess I’ll have to settle for a medium-long length that is enough to weigh itself down so a quick brush will fix most problems, but short enough to not feel too heavy on my neck.  While I’m at it, I’m thinking of getting streaks again (highlights? lowlights?  I have no idea what the difference is – just something lights!).  I haven’t had extra color in my hair for awhile now, so it’d a fun change.

Sleep & waking up

laelene Posted in general blog，Tags: ,
08 April 2010
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I have trouble falling asleep before 1 or 2 AM and usually don’t get to bed until past 2.  This doesn’t bode well for getting up in the morning, which is always a painful experience.  Yet, no amount of suffering in the morning seems to motivate me to get to bed earlier.  It’s difficult to go to sleep right when your body is reaching its peak energy levels.  It’s also difficult when your mind is reaching its peak activity levels.  I always want to do more at night and can stay more focused too.

I wonder how long it’s going to take before I can sleep at midnight again.  Perhaps never?  After all, I seem to be doing alright with 6-6.5 hours a night, then sleeping in on the weekends.  I love sleeping in more than most things and I’d definitely want to try an alternate work day in the future, getting up around noon and working until the late night.  It might not be healthy by normal standards, but I believe my body is telling me something about my personal internal clock that supersedes conventional norms.

This week has gone by at a decent pace and I’m glad that tomorrow is Friday!  That means that I won’t have to worry about how late I sleep, since I can just sleep in the next day.  🙂  It’s a satisfaction that few things in life can bring me.  Simple, yet so pleasurable.  Plus I’ve got an AMAZING body pillow that encourages me to stay in bed all day long.  When I first got it, I couldn’t climb out of bed for a week.  As I got more used to it, I can manage to let it go better, but it’s a great sleep aid.  If only Costco still sold that texture!  The ones they have now are nowhere as comfortable as the original ones they sold two years ago.  Pity, for I definitely would have gotten more.

Time Warner fail

laelene Posted in general blog，Tags: , , ,
05 April 2010
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Well, yet again Time Warner has failed us here in LA, leaving Panda’s apartment without internet or television service. This has consistently occurred on a monthly basis and their repair trucks can be seen on our neighborhood streets a good 2-3 times a week. Not a good sign at all. so here I am stuck blogging on my iPhone, with little heart to put together a nicer entry.

It’s amazing how this happens time and time again. At first, Panda would call in and get a month or a week free, but he just did so this weekend when this same thing happened (albeit not for as long). It’s gotten to the point where even that doesn’t make up for the inconvenience and loss of productivity.

I did enjoy the peace and quiet of not having so much buzzing around me, but I’d rather get to choose when I take a step back from the hubbub of modern life. I didn’t even feel like reading a business magazine I had been meaning to read for months now. Situations like this put a damper on my entire mood and make me wish that TW took better care if their customers. I can’t wait until we leave this place and I find a place near work – I’ll know then to avoid Time Warner at all costs.

Coincidence

laelene Posted in general blog，Tags: ,
04 April 2010
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Well isn’t it weird that the day after I write about the earthquake tunnel and have a lengthy discussion with Panda about safe practices and earthquake preparedness, an earthquake occurs?  I doesn’t seem to be the big one we’re all waiting for, but it was quite large and still shook us in SoCal.  Ironically, Panda and I didn’t feel it at all, because we were on the road, driving in Westwood.  Plenty of our acquaintances did experience it, and for one it was her very first time.  I’m curious what it felt like, but kind of glad I didn’t feel it, since it would have been an eerie reminder of the blog entry I had just posted.  Perhaps I should give a honk for good measure the next time I’m in that tunnel.

Earthquake tunnel

laelene Posted in general blog，Tags: , , , ,
03 April 2010
1
approaching the "earthquake tunnel," where the 405 meets the 5

Not a high-traffic day, so there wasn't any honking, but here's the unassuming tunnel.

I don’t know if you’ve ever heard, but in Los Angeles, there is an “earthquake tunnel” that locals like to use as a good luck charm against earthquakes.  It’s a tradition that I learned of soon after arriving here and I have no recollection of how I heard of it or who told me, but I observe all the time when I am there.  What am I talking about?  Well, where the 405 North ends and merges into the 5 freeway, there is a tunnel that people drive under.  When you are under it during rush hour (or any other time traffic is slow), you will find a good third of the cars will honk their horns incessantly until they are out.

driving through the "earthquake tunnel" at night

I usually am under this thing at night. It's great when big rigs join in the honking too.

It’s one of those fun, somewhat underground (haha no pun intended) traditions that is still alive and well.  I guess it’s a superstitious act, since honking your horn is supposed to prevent earthquakes from hitting us too hard.  It seems to be working, since that big one is way overdue and still not coming…  Anyway, whenever I’m stuck in that tunnel during traffic hours, there’s always a car or two honking its way through.  I’ve only joined in once, but it puts a small smile to my face as those people enjoy their freedom to honk as they please.  After all, I realized not long ago that I don’t even know what my car horn sounds like.  I don’t exactly have a situation where I can test it without drawing attention.

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