Gusty day

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photo credit: WGB Photography on flickr

photo credit: WGB Photography on flickr

Indoors, with the windows open and suddenly the wind picks up.  Clouds loom overhead, cooling the air.  Doors rattle with the passing gusts and an eerie feeling settles.  Outside, the tree shakes its branches, letting down a shower of leaves.  Only the strong ones hold on as the dying ones drift to the ground, creating a loud rustling noise.  It’s too dark to not turn on the lights, but too bright with them.  The air thickens with the gloom of a potential storm, heavy with unseen particles.  Everything feels ominous.

On the drive home, an ambulance approaches from the right at an intersection, howling to get vehicles out of its way.  Stopped at the intersection, you wait for it to make its turn towards the buildings behind you.  The ones you just left.  As firetrucks honk their way from the opposite end, turning in the same direction as the ambulance, you wonder if they will go near where you just had been.  Did the weather bring along with it trouble?  A foreboding sense creeps up on you as you drive off towards home.  Away from danger, away from trouble, you hope.

At the next intersection, leaves swirl in furious spirals in front of you as you wait for the red light to change.  All the excess from nearby trees has been brought down to clutter the curbside.  With each car that passes, another puff of dust is left in its wake, blurring your vision.  You watch as the palms sway vigorously, so high up.  One has even thrashed down a frond that lies forlornly in the road, being run over by the traffic passing by.  For a moment you wonder if the apocalypse could start like this – just a dreary, troublesome day… much like when the Santa Ana winds blow and bring with them strange behavior.

Unexpectedly, you feel your car move.  Did someone just bump into you?  You check in your mirrors and find nothing wrong.  All the cars are a safe distance away.  The car moves again.  This time you recognize it – the gentle rocking from a surge of wind.  You didn’t realize the rushing air had reached down low to shake your car.  After all, it was just the treetops that were affected, right?  But no, the undeniable push of the winds tells you otherwise and you wonder if this is how it feels to be in your car during an earthquake.

What an odd day.

Life advice (& still jobless)

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Sometimes it feels like a really hard game.  You zoom past the easy levels, then get stuck on a hard one.  photo credit: danimations on flickr

Sometimes it feels like a really hard game. You zoom past the easy levels, then get stuck on a hard one. photo credit: danimations on flickr

Just yesterday morning I got the news: Thank you for applying, but we have chosen another candidate for the position.  Or something to that effect.  It feels like so long ago!  I had a lot of my hope banking on this job, so it was certainly a let-down that I didn’t get it, after getting so far.  I had three wonderful people give me great recommendations and even a fourth one who put in some good words.  In the end, it might have come down to exactly what I had feared… not enough professional experience in event planning and scheduling.

I had the passion, I had the drive, I had the excitement and enthusiasm!  I just didn’t have the years of experience to back me up.  I’m still waiting to hear back regarding feedback on how I was as a candidate so I can improve myself for the next try.  I really wish I had gotten this one though – it was perfect for what I want out of life now.  At least it didn’t hit me as hard as I thought it would.  It helped that I had just heard of some new, exciting opportunities, so now I’m applying for those.  Just gotta keep plowing forward!

Ironic then, that last night I listened to a speaker sharing advice on how to live our professional lives and today I listened to a speaker doing much the same.  I was oddly inspired, yet weary.  Sometimes you know what you should do, but it’s just not the right time emotionally.  I felt like that last night, as the pangs of a job not earned hit my subconscious.  I didn’t think it was affecting me much, but apparently it was.  Let me tell you, it is the most bizarre feeling, to be inspired and discontent at the same time.  It’s hard to reconcile.  Well, I took those lessons and pondered them on my way home, as I questioned many things in my life.  Then today I was feeling much more receptive to the advice presented.  I just need time to recover from everything I put into the potential job.

A wonderful event!

A wonderful event!

Let’s move on to the pointers that the two speakers gave, starting with Jordan Belfort:

~”motion creates emotion” – Put your body physically a certain way and you will start to feel that way.  Stand tall and confident and you will feel more confident.  Hang your head and look at the ground and you will begin to feel sad.  Move how you want to feel and you can create that emotion through body language.

~”act as if” – Whatever your goal is, start acting as if you have already attained it.  You will begin to open doors to lead you towards that very goal.  (This could work well in line with the advice that tells you to start taking on duties of those above you when you want to get a promotion/raise.  Just start working like you already have that job!)

~”where focus goes, energy flows” – The things you focus on, you will pick out more readily than everything else.  So focus on what you want to get and don’t expend resources on the rest.  We’re great at filtering out things to find what we want, but if we’re preoccupied with our weaknesses or problems, that’s all we’ll see.

~”change the way you look at things and the things you look at will change” – Similar to above.  When you focus on the good and what you want, you will go towards it.  When you shift focus down to the things holding you back, you will plummet.

The Wolf of Wall Street, as he's known.

The Wolf of Wall Street, as he's known.

~”build a new pattern” – From our youth, we develop patterns.  Patterns of thought, patterns of behavior, patterns of expectations.  Don’t let those inhibit you.  Break old patterns and start adjusting them bit by bit.  Next thing you know, it’ll be second nature!

~”mistakes are resources” – Every time you make a mistake, it’s a chance to learn.  Failure is in the eye of the beholder.  Take each stumble as a lesson so you don’t run into the same issue again.  Successful entrepreneurs especially know this; they’ve all failed and learned!

~”model after someone successful” – Find someone (or “someones”) doing what you want to accomplish and find a formula of their actions that work for you.  Take what they do best, what has led them to success, and learn from it.

~”Mother Nature has equipped you with everything you need” – You just need to harness that natural talent!

Amy Lukken, Director of Market Research and Educational Learning

Amy Lukken, Director of Market Research and Educational Learning

And today’s speaker was Ms. Amy Lukken from Interface, with similar wisdom:

~People tend to focus on the negative, like when you get a report card with As and Bs and one D.  All parents will immediately see the D and question it.  We’re always working to improve our weaknesses (but what about our strengths?).  Around the time we’re 3-9, our natural talents start to emerge.  We can and should take those and find ways to develop them and apply them to future jobs.

~She showed us a t-shirt that said: Failure is NOT an option.  Good idea, but the most prominent words were “failure” and “not.”  Walking around seeing them all day doesn’t give the right impression.  (As I like to say, double negative wording is detrimental to the positive meaning they hide.  Just word things positively!)

~Discover your passion and aim for that.  You shouldn’t get stuck in a job you hate just because it is stable, pays well, etc.  Oftentimes there are ways to incorporate what you’re good at and your passions into many types of roles.  (Take me, for example – I’m good at proofreading, so I could be an editor in many organizations.)

Now I’ll take their words, trying to remember it all as I move forward.

A story of shopping and sandals

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I don't remember what I was doing here, but probably lamenting the 9 Baht I lost out on (read on...).

I don't remember what I was doing here, but probably lamenting the 9 Baht I lost out on (read on...).


When I was in Thailand and Hong Kong, there were plenty of places to shop where price tags don’t exist and everything is done through bargaining.  In places like these, initial prices are never to be trusted and it’s wise to walk around to get a feel for the products available first.  After all, things tend to be the same from shop to shop and if you find the lowest asking price, you have a good starting point to hack from.  You never know how much they’re trying to earn off of you, but you can bet that their quoted price is at least two to three times as expensive as it needs to be, if not more.  My mom can usually get things for about 20-40% what the vendors try to sell for.  I’m happy when I can get half (even when I know I’m still being ripped off).

In Bangkok, I spent some time at the Chatuchak Weekend Market as well as the Night Bazaar, searching for fun little trinkets that I could give as gifts to friends.  I was also on the hunt for a bikini and a pair of flip flops for myself.  I’d been told to check out the weekend market, if only for its pure massiveness, so I found a buddy at the hostel and we headed out for a day in the heat.  At first, we weren’t sure which section we were in and wandered around the antiques area, crossed over to the food (where I had to stop to feed myself!), and finally ended up in the heart of it all, where the clothes and shoes and knickknacks are sold.

The only pickings from a day of walking, walking, and shopping.

The only pickings from a day of walking, walking, and shopping.


None of the swimsuits impressed me that much and the lady selling the best stall’s worth was extremely unfriendly, so I decided against giving her business.  I found a stall with very cheap flip flops at 59 Baht and chose a pair that wasn’t half bad.  I really wanted it for just 50 Baht, but they weren’t budging and my friend was impatient to move on, so I took them.  To be environmentally friendly, I decided to not take a bag and just hold them on the way back.  And I swore that that 9 Baht would matter down the line, but of course he didn’t believe me!  We headed out not long after, leaving behind the football field of place with little to show.

On the ride back, I fell asleep and woke up to find us in front of the hostel again.  I quickly got out after paying and we went inside to say hi to the lady running the place.  Right as I was about to step over the threshold, I realized I was holding one flip flop.  One.  Alas, I watched as the taxi went out of view, carrying with it the other half of my now useless shoe.  My shopping partner chortled at me, tickled by the absurdity of the loss.  It was the only thing either of us bought in the ENTIRE market!  -____-  Those cursed sandals!

This is when I realized that I now had a useless shoe.

This is when I realized that I now had a useless shoe.


And you know what?  Before I left Bangkok, I realized that I was exactly 9 Baht short of paying for the airport express.  I knew it’d come back to kick me in the butt.  I had no ATM card (the new one was sent to my home address since I didn’t think I’d need it in the few weeks I had left – boy was I wrong).  My credit cards wouldn’t let me take a cash advance (I never set up a PIN number to use in ATM machines).  So, I had to borrow from my poor roommate who I had barely known for two days.  Bless her kind soul.  She helped me get from Thailand to Hong Kong!

More on my shopping experiences at the Night Bazaar and the Hong Kong markets in a future entry

A drop in the ocean

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It frustrates me when people don’t do anything because they think it won’t matter.

“Oh, it’s just a drop of water in the ocean, a grain of sand on the beach, a star in the night sky.  Without that drop, the ocean is still as expansive; without that grain, the beach is still as solid; without that star, the night sky is still as bright.  You’ll never miss it.”

Everything has an origin point.  Don't underestimate just one little thing.  photo credit: shannonstanley.wordpress.com

Everything has an origin point. Don't underestimate just one little thing. photo credit: shannonstanley.wordpress.com

But you know what?  It does matter!  That one drop creates ripples, affecting its neighbors that then affect their neighbors until a wave builds up.  Besides, actions reflect a mentality, so not making one small change here can lead to not making another small change there.  If you work incrementally, the next thing you know, you’ve made a huge change.  It takes time and patience to see results that are truly worthy of gaining, as well as persistence.

Every time you leave the water running, don’t turn off the lights, don’t donate your time or money, and otherwise deem things too much effort and not enough tangible reward, you are increasing the vicious cycle of inaction and indifference.  Aggregated, each little action adds up to become a trend, a movement.  And thus, nobody should ever give up from the get-go, thinking, “Well it won’t really matter that much overall.”  It can and it will, if you stick to it, then start to affect the people in your life too.  Eventually, you’ll have something on a scale you never imagined, because the power of compounding has taken effect and created something much larger than just you.

And so, I’m going to start increasing the number of registered bone marrow donors (particularly ones of Asian descent), one person at a time until we get a massive database.  It’s pathetic that there’s only 7% of Asian Americans on the US who are currently available to donate when there are thousands of people in need.  I’ve already gotten some friends to enter themselves into the registry and slowly started to educate them not only on the need, but the misconception that it is a painful procedure to extract the marrow.  What are you waiting for?  Go register yourself now!  And also go learn more about one young lady who is fighting the battle against leukemia right now.

I’m also taking environmentalism one step at a time, constantly weeding out the things and habits in my life that are unsustainable, replacing them with more globally-friendly alternatives.

Be the impetus for change.  Start something.  Then keep working hard as the effects ripple further and faster.  This goes for anything you care about, from our deteriorating environment to our broken education system to poverty to deadly diseases.  Everything has got to start somewhere!

Environmentaland

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environmentaland signOn Wednesday I had a fabulous time volunteering for Global Inheritance, which is a non-profit that opened up Environmentaland on Hollywood and Highland awhile back (October 1st, to be exact).  Tuesday night was a public party to celebrate the brief three weeks that the interactive theme park was there and Wednesday was the final closing party, exclusively for people affiliated with the environmental playland.  Not knowing that it was a closing party (and thinking it was an opening one), I was super excited to share the place with my friends.  It’s a pity they won’t be able to enjoy it.  Perhaps we’ll catch them again when they come round to LA next (and hopefully they will!).

The Global Inheritance logo.

The Global Inheritance logo.

You can kind of see how it wraps and overlays...

You can kind of see how it wraps and overlays...

I started off the night helping set up the food tables and arranging food on them.  I then needed to adorn myself with an Environmentaland t-shirt, so I went to stand in line at the screen printing station.  Sustainable Edition American Apparel t-shirts were available in men’s and women’s sizes.  I took the appropriate one and carefully looked at the six design options, of which we were allowed to choose three to put on our shirts, wherever we wanted.  I knew I wanted the purple one with a whale because not only was it in my favorite color, the whale is just adorable.  I also knew that I liked the faintness of the polar bear one – it would be present, but not drawing too much attention.  Then came the final decision: a cool message or cool design?  I liked both the “Make Love, Not Trash” and the Hit+Run designs and it was hard to choose, but I eventually settled on the former because I liked how it was multiple colors and the message itself was just too cute.  The Hit+Run was harder to “get” and didn’t quite make an impact or statement.

A screen printing machine!  It seriously takes like five minutes from start to wear.

A screen printing machine! It seriously takes like five minutes from start to wear.

I wonder how many volts I was generating... I couldn't see the screen showing the numbers.

I wonder how many volts I was generating... I couldn't see the screen showing the numbers.

Next came the positioning!  Once again, the purple whale was easy – I just wanted it on the chest.  Pretty straightforward.  I’m also a huge fan of having something on the side, kind of wrapping around, so I decided the polar bear would go well there.  The MLNT one I then knew should go on the back, but when I envisioned it I was thinking on the shoulder, but because I didn’t specify, the guy put it on the bottom, overlaying the polar bear.  I quite liked the way he did that – it was his personal flair and style, which put an artistic feel to it.  Extremely pleased with my new shirt, I put it on and got ready to help out at a station only to get called away to join the spinners outside.

Eight bikes were set up, all rigged to a generator battery thing contained inside a large glass box.  That hooked up to a TV that would only run if we provided the power through spinning.  Some volunteers were lined up to participate and we grabbed two people off the street, bribing them with free t-shirts and food.  As we were getting ready to start, suddenly Spiderman came out of nowhere and began to use the bike on the end.  Excited, I tried to recruit him too, but he had to go make some money.  He did say he’d send some people our way though!  After he left, we got on and began to pedal.  There wasn’t much resistance at first and I got overly eager, so I expended a lot of energy at the beginning and wore out pretty quickly.  Soon enough, I was breathing harder and my poor new shirt was getting worn.  We continued on (on and off) for about 20-30 minutes and called it a night from there.

In case you wanted to see how we were powering the TV.

In case you wanted to see how we were powering the TV.

Catered by Lucky Strike, the bowling alley next door!

Catered by Lucky Strike, the bowling alley next door!

I went back in to take care of the food for a bit before taking over the registration table for another volunteer.  I ended up there for the rest of the night, greeting people as they came in and making sure they were on our guest list.  A couple of people wandered in acting like they belonged there until they saw I had a guest list, then asked what we were all about before sauntering off.  A few times, the security guard had to chase someone who walked by too fast, ignoring my calls to come check in with me at the table.  Some other staffers came by to chat so I wouldn’t be too lonely when things were slow at the door, which was nice.  Visitors got score sheets from me, which they could use to keep track of points they earned for participating at each station.  Then, in true Chuck-E-Cheese style, you could redeem your points for prizes – in this case, really cool ones!  They had skate decks and Camelbaks and even Coachella tickets for the highest scorers!

Açaí spirit (whatever that means).  I have no idea what a spirit is.  Açaí however is an oversized blueberry-looking thing from the Amazon!

Açaí spirit (whatever that means) at the open bar. I have no idea what a spirit is. Açaí however is an oversized blueberry-looking thing from the Amazon!

Well, it used to say: "When in doubt RECYCLE," but as you can see it didn't stick very well.  Complete with wheels and handle!

Well, it used to say: "When in doubt RECYCLE," but as you can see it didn't stick very well. Complete with wheels and handle!

As I was sitting there observing the attendees, I noticed quite a few had these cute little recycle bins that they had decorated.  I wanted one for myself, so when I got a chance, I went looking and found an arts and crafts table full of things to put on it, then saw the undecorated ones hidden in a bottom shelf next to the table.  I grabbed one and began to collect things to decorate it with.  I used some of the glittery stuff they had to write out a message that one of the guys told me earlier in the night: When in doubt, recycle.  Basically the idea is that if you aren’t sure if you should throw something out or recycle it, you should put it in the recycle so it can be sorted.  Otherwise, more likely than not, your recyclables in the trash will go straight to the landfill and never get a chance to be diverted.

The night wound down and people filtered out.  I got my parking validated at the Starbucks and the guy had me tell him a good thing about my day, so I shared with him my volunteer experience and how awesome Environmentaland is.  He was sad that he couldn’t check it out since it was torn down the next day, but when I mentioned their next stop is Portland, he and his coworker from there considered a road trip…  So all in all a fabulous night, though it was too bad parking cost me $7.  But hey, I got some sweet free stuff and had a lovely time volunteering!

Some of the other wonderful exhibits…

You stand at the point and throw a paper airplane at the bullseye.

You stand at the point and throw a paper airplane at the bullseye.

A whale to greet everyone, asking for a hug!

A whale to greet everyone, asking for a hug!

Organic apples or not?  Can you tell the difference?

Organic apples or not? Can you tell the difference?

stargazing igloo

Golf course, desert style.

Golf course, desert style.

Every time people use it, they'd create a horrible clown honking sound that was hilarious.

Every time people use it, they'd create a horrible clown honking sound that was hilarious.

A performance by Jason Lytle.

A performance by Jason Lytle.

Plenty of media around!

Plenty of media around!

Nightmarish

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The past two nights, I’ve been playing out my fears subconsciously in my dreams.  Two nights ago, I had a nightmare that I cheated on Panda by kissing another guy, who then tried to get me to leave Panda.  I told him that I had made a mistake and I wasn’t going to be with him, but I was horrified by what I had done.  I woke up vaguely remembering what I had dreamed and feeling miserable, but relieved that it wasn’t real.

Then last night I dreamed that Philosopher and I were in a parking garage.  For some reason he had gone up to the second level and came back down telling me I had been rejected.  Confused, we went upstairs where a blue car resembling the one that my parents had owned many years ago was parked with a letter under the windshield wiper and a huge playing card (a jack) on the ground in front of it.  The card was something like three feet tall by two feet wide and seemed to be a play on the word “jacked” because that was certainly a way to describe the way I felt.  The letter was a rejection one from the job I had applied to.  I was absolutely devastated when I woke up in the split second before I realized it was just another nightmare.

I suppose I have been more stressed than I realized and now I’m being bombarded by the things I dread most.  I just hope that both have “happened” already so they won’t in reality.  After all, I never want to do anything to hurt Panda and I REALLY want that job.  So let’s just hope that both those events turn out the way I want them to!

When a sentence changes your thoughts

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So many chemicals.  photo credit: stirwise on flickr

So many chemicals. photo credit: stirwise on flickr

Awhile back there was a great offer going on, with a company giving coupons to get one of their products for free.  Being the deal-lovers we are, Panda and I scrambled to sign up for our very own shares.  This company makes a brand of shampoos and conditioners that I quite like to use, so I was thrilled to save the money on a product I buy consistently.  I then happened to share the news with my manager when I was working at Opportunity Green one day and she said something that stuck with me: “Do you know how many chemicals are in their products?”

In fact, no, I didn’t, and I’d never thought about it before.  I have looked at many natural beauty products, ranging from lip balm to make-up to skin care (and even nail polish), but I had not yet considered hair products.  It amazed me that something so seemingly obvious had evaded my attention.  I love the brand I use most often and it’ll take time for me to find a better alternative, but that comment got me thinking and re-evaluating.  I guess there are just too many things to consider when it comes to all the products we are bombarded with every day.  I’ve thought of an energy-efficient light bulb or computer, but not a camera or TV.  Why?  Just like with personal care products, some get noticed more than others, but really they should all be considered.

So now for a search for healthier shampoo…

The final push

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I’m inching my way closer and closer to a potential job offer!  After passing first-round interviews, I had a second interview and am now a finalist for the position I want so much.  I said before it’s not exactly my dream job, but what I meant is it isn’t my complete life goal, but for a first job, it pretty much would be the ultimate job for me to attain.  It not only allows me to stay close to my alma mater (one of my four stipulations), it would be a great way for me to jump-start a career in environmentalism.

I just sent out my official reference list, complete with a little blurb for each person to describe the (skill) areas they know me best in.  Prior to that, I e-mailed my references to confirm their willingness to speak on behalf of my qualifications, work ethic, and performance (and perhaps my personality as well).  I also did much of the work for them, coming up with some examples of what I did while working for them and reminding them of my strengths.  I hope all goes well and that the hiring manager checks all the references to get the best all-around picture!  I’ve also prompted my boss who’s meeting with two of the people on the interviewing team sometime this week.  She agreed to help put in a good word for me, so I gave her a refresher course on what I’ve done.

Now I’ve pretty much taken every step I can to increase my attractiveness as a candidate.  It seems there is not too much else I can do beyond waiting for this week to (hopefully) fly by!  In the mean time, I will enjoy the last couple of days I have with Philosopher before he heads back to England.

Blog Action Day 2009

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logo for blog action dayWell, today is Blog Action Day and thousands of blogs are writing about climate change!  When I get a chance, I’ll go check out what they’ve all written, but for myself, it’s all about what I can do as an individual.  Certainly it’s not much on the grand scheme, but individual actions add up and I’m hoping that down the line I can start an eco-consulting firm to address this very issue and get people to change their behavior in positive ways.  With enough people making enough effort, we can make a powerful impact.  That’s my dream for the future.

As for now, I decided to explore the ways I’ve greened my life and what I can do to continue along that path.  I’ve made a lot of small changes to my life over the years to get to this point and I plan on continuing steadily for the rest of my life.  So some ways that I’ve already greened my life are…

Oooh, I wouldn't mind some cute ones like these!  photo credit: blog.elfster.com
Oooh, I wouldn’t mind some cute ones like these! photo credit: blog.elfster.com

~ using reusable tote bags and saving all plastic bags I do get for other purposes

~ composting (I’d like to start a worm compost one day)

~ recycling (too bad so many things aren’t recyclable!)

~ unplugging everything when not in use

~ changing out light bulbs (some of the smaller ones are still traditional bulbs… are they going to make smaller energy-efficient bulbs?)

~ eating little red meat (I don’t eat much meat in general, especially beef)

~ printing only when absolutely necessary (which is hardly ever)

~ using a green service provider to power my website

photo credit: Dan44 on flickr
photo credit: Dan44 on flickr

In the next couple of months, I plan on implementing some new ways of improving my own sustainability.  Some options may have to wait until I’ve settled a little more and know where I’ll be living for the next couple of years (namely, planting my own fruits and vegetables to eat).  Each change is a step towards progress and by the time I’m 30, I hope I can proudly claim a sustainable lifestyle.

~ plant fruits/vegetables to eat

~ buy more locally

~ change shower heads

filter water – no more bottles! – and continue using reusable bottles

Just me and my trusty board.
Just me and my trusty board.

~ get a hybrid car (and try to drive less)

~ walk/bike/skate more (it’s good for your health, after all!)

~ phase out commercialized cleaning solutions for more old school ones (like using baking soda and vinegar, or those squash-looking loofahs)

~ buy an energy-efficient and environmentally friendly laptop

I’m sure there’s a lot more I can do, but this is a start!  I’ll keep working on my list over the years as solutions are developed and I discover more ways that I can change my ways to leave a smaller carbon footprint in this world.  I’ve begun to educate and influence those around me as well, and I intend on doing that in a greater scale further into my career!  Someday I’d like to see everyone in my city living this way and a good portion of the country as well.  I don’t know if I’ll live to see the world change like that, but that would certainly be amazing.

Interview

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Tomorrow’s my interview, so I’m busy preparing!  I’m pretty well prepared, but there are just so many questions that I could be asked there’s really no way to be sure.  However, as long as I keep sight of how I qualify (and would be the best candidate), I’m sure I can answer well.  I just need to make sure to set myself apart from the rest, either by being more thoughtful about the position or be more eager and ready to go.  I hope that I don’t blend in with the rest of the applicants!

In light of that, I am off to rest so I can be well-rested for my interview.

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