Child-rearing philosophy

laelene Post in general blog,Tags: , , ,
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So I mentioned a little while back that I am watching Medium, and I have found I have little patience for overbearing parents.  I get annoyed that they are always so worried – you’re too young to have an email account, you’re too young to walk home alone, you’re too young to stay home alone.  Blah, blah, blah.  What is this crazy control these parents think they can exert?  Sure, you should be careful, but you never let your child out of their gilded cage, they’ll never learn to fend for themselves.  The world, though filled with its dangers, is also totally to navigate without being hand-held the whole way through.

I quite like the way that I grew up and it had nothing to do with what I’m seeing in this show, and in other families.  Granted, by the time the internet and email came around, I was already a pre-teen, so there wasn’t much concern over when I’d be ready.  Then again, the eldest daughter in the show wasn’t allowed to get an email account until she was 13 or 14 (and only under the condition that her parents had full access).  I got myself plenty of accounts, as well as instant message screen names and even free websites.  I stayed home alone for a few hours here and there as early as 8 and by the time I was in 6th grade, I’d be home alone for days at a time.

A child who had a babysitter stay with them instead wouldn’t have learned the responsibility that I did.  How do you expect someone to take care of herself when you never let her be on her own?  No wonder it’s a huge deal for parents when their beloved child is off to college.  It’s the first time in 18 years they’ve ever let them leave the house for more than a week!  But me, I got to travel and visit relatives in China.  I got to go to a variety of summer camps and enjoy myself, learn more about myself and the world.  I would have hated to stay with my parents all the time, sleep in the same bed every night.  Perhaps that is why I had absolutely no trouble traveling through Europe alone for a couple of weeks.  Perhaps that is why I never got too homesick while studying abroad for a year.  These are skills that can be learned very early and life and it certainly helps you cope with the situations that can arise in your adult life.

I don’t believe in parents always peering over their child’s shoulder, not giving them privacy or space to grow and learn.  I am great at detecting spam mail or other shady business because I have seen it since I first got on the internet.  I know exactly how to take care of myself when I am alone.  I don’t put myself in dangerous situations and when I am alone in a foreign place, I am always conscious of my surroundings, making sure no stranger gets too close or that anyone is following me.  I learned a lot of street smarts by being out in the world.  I don’t think there’s any other way to do it.  So when it comes time for me to be a parent, I am not going to prevent them from going to sleepovers or seeing boys/girls or getting an email account all to themselves.  I’d rather teach them the skills to know how to take care of themselves in each situation.  After all, experience is the best teacher, isn’t it?

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