Doing what feels right

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My decision to come to Singapore was largely based on feeling.  It seems that I am allowing my intuition to guide me far more than I ever allowed before.  I don’t know if this is my quarter-life crisis, the result of maturing, or just a random epiphany, but it is becoming more pervasive in everything I do.  Perhaps in growing up and learning to open your mind to things, you also learn how to trust your instincts.  Maybe there really is something to your gut instincts.  Whatever the case, I have been paying more attention to what my heart tells me over what my head may want to say.  And you know what?  It feels good.

I’ve always been one to sit and think.  Absorb, analyze, reanalyze, compile, calculate, and then react.  It’s a slow, sometimes excruciating process and I’ve been telling people lately that that is the type of person I am.  Well, it’s true – I will not give you an instant answer and go full steam ahead.  I may have an initial reaction, but that is by no means my actual response in the end (though it will probably be an exaggerated version of it).  Sometimes it can be frustrating for those who are impatient or tend to take the smallest of signals and take that to be the indicator of consent or dissent.

Though I still need time to really think about what to say about things, I am embracing more of the "go do it" attitude, from taking the risk of starting work in a foreign country to buying things because it feels right.  I can’t quite let go of my old tried and true habit of taking the time to consider all the angles of an issue, but I tend to have a gut feeling from the get-go that tells me what I will end up deciding anyway.  Nevertheless, to justify it to myself, I still need to spend the time to think it over and really make sure that what I want is what I should do.

I like to be cautious in the sense that I can defend my decisions.  I don’t like to be rash or irresponsible.  But, I also do like to take certain risks that can be both exciting and door-opening.  You never know if you don’t try, right?  So I might as well give it a go and see where it takes me (with some back-up plans ready, of course).

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