I made my resolve to go get  a haircut today, after meaning to get a trim for a few weeks now.  Whenever I think of hair, I remember reading somewhere about how a girl got rid of her flowing locks and let go of so many of her burdens.  I feel like I’m starting a new phase in my life whenever I change my hair, especially when it becomes noticeably lighter.  It’s a powerful metaphor to me – that head of hair, which has been protecting and covering all your thoughts, filtering them, and no doubt catching many in their web, releases its hold and allows you to be free of your burdens.  Hair also moves around so much more freely when it’s lighter, allowing changes, occasionally getting caught up in a breeze and floating in ways it couldn’t when it was longer.  Kind of like my life now.  Similarly, my emotions can be filtered, with the negative ones falling to the floor as they are snipped off and the positive ones remain rooted to my head.

It was getting longer than it's been in a many years.

Maybe I’m taking the metaphor a bit far, but seriously, who doesn’t feel a bit liberated with each haircut?  Whether it’s guys who can once again feel the breeze against their scalp or girls who have happily gotten rid of those split ends, you feel lighter not only because you literally are, but also because there’s a certain mental lift that accompanies a good haircut.  It’s like when you first put in a new prescription for your contacts and suddenly the slightest rustle in the trees becomes obvious to you.  You’re more attuned to the world, noticing more, sensing more.  It’s enough to make the world look better.  At least that’s how I feel after each haircut, good or bad.  I’m not picky with how my hair looks as long as it’s not too short, so a haircut is always a positive experience for me and it really helps to imagine anything I’m not happy with being washed and snipped away.  Afterward, I’m ready to start anew.

I really like this idea of reshaping by cutting away the excess.  It’s a similar mentality for being green, which is definitely a prominent passion of mine that I have been developing more and more as of late.  I’ve also always loved to cut things, which is why paper cutting class at Chinese school was a great time for me.  I’m not hugely talented, but I can make some really nice flowers and snowflakes by snipping away randomly.  It’s intuitive to me and rewarding to share with others, who always admire my work.  I even won an art contest at Chinese school for it, despite all the paintings and sculptures that they went up against.  I wish I was as good at cutting hair, but the one thing I do like the way I approach my hair is that I’m not afraid to mess it up.  It’s been too many times that I’ve tried to give myself bangs only to have some awkward short hairs sticking out, refusing to be tamed.  But, it’s never much of a problem (the beauty of hair!) because it grows out soon enough, most people hardly even notice, and hair has this magical property of just falling into place to hide minor errors.  And that’s why I’m always ready for a new trim!

Chop chop chop.

The past week or so has really been a turning point for me, as I try to change my behavior to be more vibrant, more proactive, more involved, and more active.  I talk more, asked for new work to do when I came to a lull, went out to meet some new people, and have started to plan my time better here in terms of how I will take advantage of the fact that I’m in Singapore!  I’m hoping inertia kicks in and that I will just keep on moving like this, because it’s refreshing.  I may not always be comfortable and I may want to revert to reflection and internalizing, so it will be a constant effort to not give in to that.  I’m looking forward to the new view I’m getting on things and really trying to figure what direction I can go in to pursue my passions, dreams, and fantasies.  To commemorate all this change and a look in a new direction, it’s only fitting to make a change with my hair.  It’s the fastest and easiest to make a semi-permanent change to your daily look.  I suppose I could get some new clothes, put on more makeup, or try colored contacts, but those changes are more transient and don’t reflect a new phase the way a haircut can.  In a way, this is my form of self-expression and I love it.