New York has passed a bill allowing same-sex marriage and I hope that this will push California to do the same.  It was one of the most disappointing moments in my life when Prop 8 was passed and gay rights activists had to go back to the drawing board to strategize about how to change people’s minds.  I think a lot of the problem here is that people recognize marriage as both a social and religious institution, but not a political one, when in fact the legal implications are the most vital.  When it comes down to it, it’s unfair to strip certain people of rights because they don’t fit the religious concept of marriage.  If marriage was purely a religious implication, it wouldn’t be a problem because the law would not be involved and individuals would not be barred from legal benefits.  But the fact of the matter is that the main reason it is not being recognized legally is because of personal beliefs related to religion.

A symbolic gay marriage on the UCLA campus. So beautiful.

If you look at marriage from a secular point of view, there’s nothing limiting what gender the two are.  I thought our law was supposed to be secular, no?  In that case, why is religious reasoning allowed into legal debate?  I just don’t get it.  Perhaps we need to separate marriage and legal unions.  Marriage can keep its religious references and celebrations that are only recognized by the church, the temple, the mosque, what have you.  Legal unions should be fair to everyone, recognized by the law with all the tax discounts, inheritance rights, and government, employment, medical, death, family, housing, and other legal rights.  (See how much gay couples are missing out on?)  How terrible is it to not allow a life partner to visit their loved one because they are not legally recognized as next-of-kin?  How can you stand by and not let a couple adopt a needy child just because they are not seen as “married”?  Or how would you like it if your loved one was touted away by immigration officials because your marriage is seen as null?  Honestly, have some heart here.

Same-sex marriages do nothing to harm you personally.  Maybe you don’t agree with the idea that two people of the same gender should be together, but is that really your decision to make?  I really don’t like it when people go around thinking they can impose their way of life on others.  All these people are doing is trying to live as mainstream a life as possible and not be shunned or even persecuted for their preferences and choices.  I thought religion was supposed to make you a better person.  Is that not why you put your faith into some being that can’t be proved?  In the hopes that you will be enlightened and achieve more?  Whatever happened to the ideals of tolerance and acceptance?  It’s like what if one day you’re told that you’re not allowed more than two children because that is considered acceptable in the context of what a “marriage” is?  When you have more children, you aren’t harming others, but some people may disagree with a large number of children since that means less time and fewer resources dedicated to each one.  So what if one day you wake up and people have decided that it’s irresponsible to have a large family?  That if you had a third child you would lose all legal rights as a couple?

Are people just that stubborn in their old, outdated ways?  If you can accept sex before marriage, divorce, and other deviations from the image of what a “real” marriage is like, then why not this?  Times are changing and they are changing drastically and fast.  The way I see it, same-sex marriage is inevitable.  We’re headed that way just like decades ago forward-thinking people knew we were headed towards desegregation and gender equality.  If you look at the issue closely, you’ll realize that those long-held opinions are antiquated.  It’s time for change and change is inevitable.  Putting it off is only going to exacerbate the problem and leave a community torn and bitter.  A few years down the line are we going to need affirmative action for LGBTs?  Are we going to have to go back to the cycle that tries to right a wrong and then just creates more chaos and debate?  Has a lesson not been taught and learned by what happened due to racism, ethnic divisions, and gender inequality?

How about preventing the issue of feeling like you need to make something up to this group by not doing anything you’ll need to make up to them later!  (In other words, before you get so entrenched in denying people based on sexuality, much like people were shunned based on race or discriminated against due to gender, why don’t you take a walk through the history books to see the mess that caused.)  Why not some prevention before this escalates?  It’s about more than that, but at a very basic level this is just setting things up for a repeat of historical patterns.  Will we never learn?  Nothing irks me more than racism, sexism, and… sexualitism?  Don’t discriminate on the basis of sexuality.  Everyone deserves their own happiness.

So please, people.  Open your eyes.  Open your mind.  Open your hearts.