Posts Tagged ‘advice’

Phishing scams

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , ,
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I often get junk mail that tries to come off as legit, and half the time I have to laugh because their attempts are just SO pathetic.  Take this one I got:

phishing scam e-mail

Seriously?  You expect me to fall for that when you are using multiple fonts, no images, and don’t know more than two of the numbers in my account?!  Besides, those two numbers aren’t even right.  Ultimate FAIL.  Plus, when I hover over the link, I can see that the address it would take me to is complete bogus, seeing as it’s hosted on realdragonhk.com.  I’ve also never received such a plain e-mail from American Express, which always includes their logo (hey, every chance to build branding, right?) and uses HTML to create a nice layout that also shows me an image of the type of card I have.

I really hope that people are smart enough not to fall for things like this.  And if they somehow do, I hope their spyware is good enough to catch these ridiculous sites and redirect them elsewhere.  Honestly though, you’ve got to miss a lot of big, fat, and bright red warning flags to not notice.  The next time you receive one of these, I’d advise you to report it and then delete it.  Most sites have a fraud protection area where they give you an e-mail address you can forward it to – I know I’ve done so for this one, a fake IRS one, and I believe a Bank of America one.  Certainly most banks and credit card companies are well aware of this issue and have set up appropriate channels for you to go through.  That way, they can be alert of all the scams out there and get those sites flagged and removed ASAP.

Small and simple does the trick

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , , , , , ,
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I’m sure that many people have promised themselves that this is the year they will get fit.  And just a week and a half into the year, most are probably doing alright with that goal.  However, as weeks drag on to months, it gets harder to stick with it.  It’s like the opposite of going cold turkey, whatever that may be.  Suddenly trying to pick up a behavior is just as hard as trying to quit an addictive one.  The process tends to work better when it’s done gradually or less drastically.

That’s one of the reason why pedometers are doing so well!  People walk all the time, so doing a little more throughout your day doesn’t kill you and make you want to quit your new fitness regimen.  Plus, having the number staring up at you makes things a lot easier to track.  When you have small, measurable goals that you can easily track, it makes staying on target so much easier than the “I did 5 sets of 10 reps but I don’t see a difference” approach.  Personally, I love the weight room, but I can see how it’s not the best way for people to get in shape.  After all, strength training is more focused on building muscles than building a figure.

So in the following weeks, if you find yourself having trouble reaching your goals for the year, make a list of small actionable items to do, one at a time.  This goes for anything from health resolutions to general goals, like that book you’ve been meaning to read, that book you’ve been meaning to write, or the friend you’ve been meaning to catch up with.  Start with the basics – read a page, write a paragraph, send a text.  And of course, don’t forget to just keep walking!  You can build momentum step by step and soon enough you’ll climb your way up those mountains.

Now if only I could find my Pikachu pedometer… (story for another day, when I actually find it or determine it lost forever).

[update jan.12.2010]  Oh my gosh!  Panda showed me the link above and I was shocked to find this is something that was actually known (maybe even popular?) in the States!  Mine came from China, so I figured it was this obscure thing…

IM etiquette

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , , , , ,
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“hey”

It’s the most common instant message I receive and the one I’m least likely to respond to.  It’s an opener with no purpose, no direction.  Hey can lead you anywhere, yet nowhere, which is why I usually don’t bother to reply to most people who think that’s enough to start a conversation.  No, I’m a doer.  I need some sort of action and interaction, whether through sharing a statement or asking a question.  A simple greeting via the internet just doesn’t cut it.  Imagine if that’s all you got in e-mails.

“Just wanted to say ‘hi’.”

I wouldn’t even bother answering back to that.  To me, it’s like great, thanks for saying hi… now what?  Why did you greet me?  Did you want to catch up after a long time?  Did you have a question for me?  Did you just want to share a bit of your life?  Give me something to work with here!  It annoys me when people wait hours for me to reply to their one word before finally getting to the point.  I like to get the point as fast as possible and know exactly why I’m spending time interacting with someone.  And so, if people won’t even make the effort to type more than a single greeting to me so I can get an inkling of where they’re trying to take the conversation, I won’t make the effort to get the point out of them.

Even something as simple as “Hey, what’s up?” is fine!  At least then there’s something I can do right away – answer the question!  The conversation may last no more than two lines that way, but I’d at least give you the time of day to respond to the question.  Hey means nothing to me.  The most pointless conversation I ever had was an exchange of “hey”s followed by “what’s up” and “nothing much.”  Seriously, you have nothing better to say?!  -___-  I’m not looking for spectacular conversationalists, but some people really need to get the hint that when I’m not talking to them, it’s because they have given me NOTHING to talk about.

Rant over.  Thank you for listening.  🙂

Brown is the happiest color of all

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , , , , ,
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white frame sunglassesLately I’ve been wearing a pair of white-frame sunglasses that I got at the LA County Fair.  They’re modeled to resemble Ray Bans (I think that’s what they’re called) and because of their shape, they fit my face easily.  I often run into trouble finding sunglasses that fit my head because I tend to have a wider distance between temples.  Most sunglasses hug my eyes and leave red marks on my cheeks after wearing them for awhile.  I usually end up with a headache too.

It’s a fortunate thing that I bought this pair, because I’ve been using it consistently ever since.  It seems the more you wear shades, the more you need them.  Is it just my imagination or have my eyes really gotten more sensitive to sunlight?  Whatever the case, psychologically at least, I need sunglasses on a bright day.  I actually just got these on a whim at the fair because I thought that the white frames were outrageous enough to be silly, yet mainstream enough to not get stares.  I’m always on the lookout for a snug pair that will fit my face and I suppose now I understand why the real Ray Bans are so expensive.

Well, using and abusing the white pair so much, I found one day that I didn’t know which bag I had it buried in.  My purses become black holes, so it was hopeless to find the things without dumping out the entire contents of my bags.  Unfortunately, I was on a time crunch, so I grabbed the first pair I could find – a brown pair I’d bought a long time ago.  I think I got them at my favorite (and now non-existent) shop in Westwood, Good Choice Gifts.  I do remember I had gotten the matching black pair because I couldn’t decide (as usually is the case).  I’ve since misplaced the black version.

Look at how happy I am!

Look at how happy I am!

I ran off, sunglasses in tow and put them on just before driving the car out of the garage.  And suddenly, bam.  The world looked beautiful, happy, better.  After so long wearing my black shades, I had forgotten the miracle a little brown shading can do for your eyes.  Forget rose-colored glasses!  Brown is most cheerful color of all.

If you’ve never owned a pair of brown sunglasses, I highly recommend them!  I’d say lighter shades of brown are better, giving just enough tint to the world without darkening it too much.  Filtering everything through this new lens on life makes greens greener, blues bluer, and everything richer!  I swear the sky has never looked so appealing than when I saw it through these sunglasses.

And hey, if the world looks happier to you, you’ll probably end up being happier too!  🙂

Life advice (& still jobless)

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , , , , , ,
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Sometimes it feels like a really hard game.  You zoom past the easy levels, then get stuck on a hard one.  photo credit: danimations on flickr

Sometimes it feels like a really hard game. You zoom past the easy levels, then get stuck on a hard one. photo credit: danimations on flickr

Just yesterday morning I got the news: Thank you for applying, but we have chosen another candidate for the position.  Or something to that effect.  It feels like so long ago!  I had a lot of my hope banking on this job, so it was certainly a let-down that I didn’t get it, after getting so far.  I had three wonderful people give me great recommendations and even a fourth one who put in some good words.  In the end, it might have come down to exactly what I had feared… not enough professional experience in event planning and scheduling.

I had the passion, I had the drive, I had the excitement and enthusiasm!  I just didn’t have the years of experience to back me up.  I’m still waiting to hear back regarding feedback on how I was as a candidate so I can improve myself for the next try.  I really wish I had gotten this one though – it was perfect for what I want out of life now.  At least it didn’t hit me as hard as I thought it would.  It helped that I had just heard of some new, exciting opportunities, so now I’m applying for those.  Just gotta keep plowing forward!

Ironic then, that last night I listened to a speaker sharing advice on how to live our professional lives and today I listened to a speaker doing much the same.  I was oddly inspired, yet weary.  Sometimes you know what you should do, but it’s just not the right time emotionally.  I felt like that last night, as the pangs of a job not earned hit my subconscious.  I didn’t think it was affecting me much, but apparently it was.  Let me tell you, it is the most bizarre feeling, to be inspired and discontent at the same time.  It’s hard to reconcile.  Well, I took those lessons and pondered them on my way home, as I questioned many things in my life.  Then today I was feeling much more receptive to the advice presented.  I just need time to recover from everything I put into the potential job.

A wonderful event!

A wonderful event!

Let’s move on to the pointers that the two speakers gave, starting with Jordan Belfort:

~”motion creates emotion” – Put your body physically a certain way and you will start to feel that way.  Stand tall and confident and you will feel more confident.  Hang your head and look at the ground and you will begin to feel sad.  Move how you want to feel and you can create that emotion through body language.

~”act as if” – Whatever your goal is, start acting as if you have already attained it.  You will begin to open doors to lead you towards that very goal.  (This could work well in line with the advice that tells you to start taking on duties of those above you when you want to get a promotion/raise.  Just start working like you already have that job!)

~”where focus goes, energy flows” – The things you focus on, you will pick out more readily than everything else.  So focus on what you want to get and don’t expend resources on the rest.  We’re great at filtering out things to find what we want, but if we’re preoccupied with our weaknesses or problems, that’s all we’ll see.

~”change the way you look at things and the things you look at will change” – Similar to above.  When you focus on the good and what you want, you will go towards it.  When you shift focus down to the things holding you back, you will plummet.

The Wolf of Wall Street, as he's known.

The Wolf of Wall Street, as he's known.

~”build a new pattern” – From our youth, we develop patterns.  Patterns of thought, patterns of behavior, patterns of expectations.  Don’t let those inhibit you.  Break old patterns and start adjusting them bit by bit.  Next thing you know, it’ll be second nature!

~”mistakes are resources” – Every time you make a mistake, it’s a chance to learn.  Failure is in the eye of the beholder.  Take each stumble as a lesson so you don’t run into the same issue again.  Successful entrepreneurs especially know this; they’ve all failed and learned!

~”model after someone successful” – Find someone (or “someones”) doing what you want to accomplish and find a formula of their actions that work for you.  Take what they do best, what has led them to success, and learn from it.

~”Mother Nature has equipped you with everything you need” – You just need to harness that natural talent!

Amy Lukken, Director of Market Research and Educational Learning

Amy Lukken, Director of Market Research and Educational Learning

And today’s speaker was Ms. Amy Lukken from Interface, with similar wisdom:

~People tend to focus on the negative, like when you get a report card with As and Bs and one D.  All parents will immediately see the D and question it.  We’re always working to improve our weaknesses (but what about our strengths?).  Around the time we’re 3-9, our natural talents start to emerge.  We can and should take those and find ways to develop them and apply them to future jobs.

~She showed us a t-shirt that said: Failure is NOT an option.  Good idea, but the most prominent words were “failure” and “not.”  Walking around seeing them all day doesn’t give the right impression.  (As I like to say, double negative wording is detrimental to the positive meaning they hide.  Just word things positively!)

~Discover your passion and aim for that.  You shouldn’t get stuck in a job you hate just because it is stable, pays well, etc.  Oftentimes there are ways to incorporate what you’re good at and your passions into many types of roles.  (Take me, for example – I’m good at proofreading, so I could be an editor in many organizations.)

Now I’ll take their words, trying to remember it all as I move forward.

Nerve-wracking!

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , , , , , , , ,
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Don't make me go there yet!  Let me do my interview first, please.  photo credit: sanfernandovalleylawyers.com

Don't make me go there yet! Let me do my interview first, please. photo credit: sanfernandovalleylawyers.com

Today I got an e-mail that had me bouncing off the walls: an invitation to schedule an interview for a job I really want!  It was thrilling to see it sitting there in my inbox, waiting patiently for me to open it and arrange to meet with the hiring manager for the position.  I eagerly replied with a preferred time and she confirmed not long after.  Suddenly, I remembered that I’m on call for jury duty this week!  Frantically, I began to compose an e-mail back, bringing up the topic.  I came up with as many alternatives as I could and sent it back, hoping she can be flexible with her time.  Now I’m waiting here and haven’t received a response, so I anticipate she has gone to bed and I won’t know until tomorrow.

In the mean time, I’m reviewing the application information and compiling a list of my qualifications for each of their requirements.  I’ll go over their website, my cover letter, and interview advice articles over the next two days as I prepare for this all-important interview.  I e-mailed my parents, happily sharing the news with them and called up my mom when she was free to talk.  Tomorrow I’ll be chatting with my dad, discussing possible questions I should be ready for and anything else his wisdom has to offer.  After all, he’s often been in both the hiring and applying positions and can impart a lot of useful knowledge and insight.

LEED certified!  Who wouldn't want to work in a building so green?  photo credit: smithgroup.com

LEED certified! Who wouldn't want to work in a building so green? photo credit: smithgroup.com

I’m also going to e-mail a former boss, who I just went to visit days ago, and see what she has to say.  It’ll be nice to share the good news with her, after I gushed about the position and how much I wanted it.  Besides, she works for UCLA, so maybe she’ll have some pertinent pointers to share with me.  Now let’s hope I can make it to the final step and get hired!  I’d be absolutely elated because this job fulfills the requirements I had outlined before.  Though I said it’s not exactly my dream job (which would to be an eco-consultant, I think), it is my favorite candidate for being my first career job.

When I was talking to my mom, I was concerned that they weren’t interviewing on Friday because they were going to choose then and then rush someone into the position by Monday.  That would make things difficult if I had jury duty and the manager couldn’t stay after work to interview me.  My mom assured me that no company would ever be so crazy-rushed to hire someone in such a short time frame, so there must be leeway for me to interview at a later time if I must.  If I get called in to serve my civic duties on Thursday, I certainly hope she’s right.  I would love to get this position!

Gosh I’m nervous.  I haven’t wanted something so much since Panda.

Closing time

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , , , , ,
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I’m often disappointed with the all too prompt closing times that stores and restaurants have.  I remember one time nearly two years ago when Ninja and I rushed down to a Japanese restaurant in Westwood, arriving 20 minutes before they close only to find they were turning in early for the night.  I understand that by that time, everyone is eager to call it a day and close up shop, but if you claim to be open until a certain time and don’t stick to it, that’s just poor customer service.  Sadly, this seems to be a common occurrence, as I found today when I showed up to a drug store just as they were supposed to be closing only to find the doors were locked and the people inside were just cashiers cleaning out.

Good service would be the restaurant that doesn’t close its doors and stop serving food until the very minute they claim they are open until.  Good service would be the store that allows that one last customer to sneak by and buy something at closing.  Good service is going that extra step to make sure that people who want to be a customer get to be.  Otherwise, you risk losing your customer base to your competitors, who may be treating them better by staying open longer or being more flexible with closing.  One thing’s for certain: I lose respect for companies that are so overly eager to close up shop each night, inconvenicing me after all my effort to get there on time.

They know how to do things right.

They know how to do things right.

Once two summers ago, I even called a frozen yogurt store just before going and got there but two minutes too late.  Had they told me on the phone, don’t worry, we’ll wait a few minutes for you, they could have made one more big sale and kept me a happy returning customer.  I opt for their competitors now and that shop has closed down anyway.  There’s no better way to make a good impression than to stay open a little longer to make your customers happy.  It’s like Kohl’s sales – they say it lasts until 2 PM, then as the time nears, they make an announcement to prolong the sale until 4 PM if it’s still going strong, then again if they’re still getting a good response.  That makes customers feel valued and they get to enjoy more time to buy more things.  Win-win, isn’t it?

Quality (and satisfying) service.  That's what I'm talking about!

Quality (and satisfying) service. That's what I'm talking about!

You can really tell a good company by their willingness to keep their doors open and their registers on.  It’s also reflected in the employees’ attitudes, which is a major reason for whether or not you can sneak in the last purchase.  Panda and I had a great experience at Chick-fil-a on Labor Day, when we went in to get the free chicken burger offer for wearing our favorite team’s logo.  Arriving just past 7, we found the entire mall shutting down, much to our surprise.  We rushed to find the Chick-fil-a in the food court and saw that their lights had been turned off and it looked like they were closed.  Desperate, we decided to go check it out anyway, since we saw some people loitering by their registers and we didn’t drive all that way to leave empty-handed.  Thankfully, the ladies working there were still taking orders and serving customers, all of whom left with happy hearts.  Now that’s some great service!  They were still serving us after closing time even though all we were getting was free food!  Panda was telling me how they are a respectful company known for their good practices and I don’t doubt it.  I’ve definitely gained an appreciation for them, both because of their food quality and superb customer service.

So to all you out there who might work for or run a business that involves customers visiting, a word to the wise… keep your doors open at least until the time you say they will be!  You’ll build a much stronger customer base that way.

Major pain

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , , , , ,
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The selection can be daunting, what with thousands to choose from...

The selection can be daunting, what with thousands to choose from...

I got a call from my cousin today, who is settling in to start college in Boston.  She’s a bit concerned about choosing classes, since she has yet to settle on a major.  The pressure is high for her to choose a major that she will excel in, which is no easy task, given her unfamiliarity with the language she will be taught in.  Additionally, because of the huge cost to study in the states, she’s under a time limit to complete a degree in the standard four years.  It may not be a huge problem if she didn’t want to double major.  But of course, college always presents itself as a major changing force in a person’s life, whether they have trouble choosing what to study or they need to adjust to life away from home.  It’s never easy, is it?

In my faltering Chinese, I advised her to try to find classes that she needs to take anyway to satisfy requirements.  I didn’t know how to say “general education” classes, but I described classes that overlap with needs and she mentioned she does have certain types of classes like science and math that she needs to fulfill no matter what.  I also explained to her how my dad and I don’t believe the major really does that much.  What it comes down to is the skill sets you learn from each type of degree – in the sciences, the scientific method and critical thinking; in the arts, writing and critical analysis.  From there, there are many directions you can go.  I recommended that she go talk to the professors in the areas she’s interested in to ask them about possible career paths and insight into their respective fields and she mentioned a dean, which is also a great idea.  Too bad she doesn’t remember his/her name and isn’t sure where to track down said dean…

From personal experience, I also encouraged her to take advantage of that which I never really did – office hours and tutoring.  Those resources are readily available to her and that extra effort and commitment can really go a long way.  Sometimes I wonder how I would have fared if I had gone to use those resources, but I don’t exactly regret not.  I got through my double degree just fine without, with a few minor stumbles along the way when classes got tough.  I’m still working on not always being oh so independent in certain areas, like studying.  It’s one of those things that you really have to train yourself to get used to though.  I hope she does better in that arena that I ever managed.

It’s funny how people get so worked up over what to major in in college.  Haven’t we all gotten the memo?  Except for highly technical jobs, a major is no sure indicator of employability or knowledge and skill set.  So why is that people still feel it is so important to choose the right one when you’re only 18-20 or so?  It’s one of those unfortunate myths that people are well aware of, but still choose to believe.  There’s so much more than taking an exact set of classes to learn the skills truly needed to be a good worker.  I think employers are understanding this more and more, but parents don’t always get news, I guess.  I hope that my cousin can choose a major she really enjoys or at least is interested in and that my uncle will understand that it’s not that decision that matters most, but what she does with her time while studying for her degree.

Cautionary advice

laelene Posted in relationships,Tags: , , ,
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For the past couple of days I have not been the best of moods with my mother.  Time and time and again, she has spoken about relationships in a way that make me feel like she is critiquing Panda when she knows nothing about how our relationship works.  To her, she is giving me advice to forewarn me of many issues that can crop up so I am aware.  To me, she is just doubtful of this relationship being a good one and working out the way that I expect it to.  And so, listening to her talk about it always makes me grumpy, because it is not like that, he is not like that, and I am certainly not like that either.

It started with talking about my place in his life.  Am I his priority or would he put his career potential or parents ahead of me?  In trying to illustrate his cautious nature, I mentioned a time where he asked if his job potential would be hindered by me.  My mom read that as him not sure if I am important enough to give up a better job for.  She also assumed that just because I consoled him and said that it wouldn’t happen, I didn’t ask him what he would do if it did. Though I didn’t directly ask him, since then we have talked about many issues that have shown me all that he is willing to sacrifice, or change, for me.

A similar thing goes for his mom, who is hugely protective of him – would he let me get in the way of their mother-child relations?  This one I’ve asked directly and he has promised that there will be a point down the line when I become the most important woman in his life.  I don’t need that yet, but certainly I won’t put up with deferring to his mother forever.  I have also clearly indicated my complete lack of interest in having our parents live with us.  Live near?  Sure, but not with.  I value my privacy and independence far too much for that.  I just hope that she will not try to be around all the time and can be content with certain weekends or afternoons/nights.

My mother said that you don’t have just a relationship with someone; you have a relationship with his family.  And though that is probably true enough, I’m not willing to stop trying if the family proves to want very different things than me.  However, she seemed to insinuate that any man who has a clingy mother should be stayed away from.  Far away.  I think it’s completely unfair to curse a guy for how his parents might act (and might is important here – after all, there’s no proof they’d be clingy in the future).  Though your circumstances often dictate your personality, it doesn’t have to.  Not all kids growing up in tough neighborhoods become criminals, just as not all kids growing up in affluence become successful.

I know my mom means well in the end, wanting to make sure I’ve thought of all of these “what ifs” and glitches that can tear a relationship apart.  What she doesn’t know is how well we’ve handled things.  Communication is still very much open and though we approach life differently, we share many crucial principles.  Many things have already been discussed and we know where we stand with them and for the more unpredictable things, we’re willing to work together and compromise.  Perhaps it is just because my mom has not had a chance to understand how maturely we handle our relationship, but right now her advice falls upon annoyed ears.

To the haters out there

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , , , ,
1

Last week I saw a tweet from David Choi talking about the nasty racist comments he got on his YouTube account, due to the fact that he’s Asian.  It made me wonder why people go out of their way to be cruel like that (not that I’ve seen what was written, but I don’t need to).  Especially in a case like this, you really have to go out of your way to send hate messages.  Why bother going to someone else’s page, where they’re just sharing their work, their lives?  I really don’t understand it.  I mean, it’s one thing if you’re thinking them in your mind and you just can’t think of someone nicely, but it’s a whole other thing to go attack them.  I’ll admit, I’ve had my share of negative and unpleasant thoughts, but I keep it to myself.  If I really have to get it out, I’ll tell a friend to blow off some steam, write it down to get it out of my mind, or exert myself physically to wear myself out.

Just this weekend this girl serving me boba was extremely rude and disrespectful, but I held my tongue and just imagined giving her a piece of my mind.  Actually doing so would have served no purpose but to waste my time and energy and either make her even meaner or feel terrible.  So instead, I told Panda about it and “screamed” (only online AAAAHHHs and UGHs) to get it all out.  I’d all but forgotten it today, except when a comment reminded me of it (talking about how some people are just not polite or gracious at all).  I told Lorrie about it quite calmly and I’ve found I’m at peace with it now.  But for this case, there was an actual reason for my anger and frustration!

As for David’s haters, I don’t know what’s going.  What has he done to possibly annoy anyone?  Maybe I just can’t see because I’m a fan of his work, as I anticipate Miley Cyrus’s fans would not understand why her voice grates on my nerves and anything about her makes me want to gag.  Even though I feel very strongly against her, I don’t go to her website to tell her these harsh words.  Everyone’s entitled to an opinion, no matter how ridiculous it might be, but that doesn’t entitle them to take any negative ones they have about someone and shove it down that person’s throat.  It’s crude and poor judgment.  If you don’t like it, don’t pay attention!  There’s so much more in the world for you to be appreciating, rather than seeking out what you don’t and making it inescably obvious.

This, of course, only applies when no harm is being done.  If people are being hurt by a person’s actions, then this type of avoidance and complacency tactic is countereffective.  As for those who are victimized by such thoughtless acts, I hope you can rise above it and not shoot unsavory comments back.  Either ignore it because it’s not worth your time or reply in a firm, but respectful manner.  This world could use more kindness and dignity.

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