The young of almost any creatures are super adorable. They’re softer and wobblier and awkward and cute bundles of fun. Who doesn’t like kittens, puppies, ducklings, and the like? The way they waddle and squeak and don’t quite know how to do things is hilarious and endearing at the same time. If only they could just stay like that! My mom has always wanted a baby tiger for a pet, but of course you can’t keep them for long before they outgrow you. Meanwhile, I prefer smaller animals that can fit in your hands when they’re young, like these ducklings. Back in China in my childhood, my cousin and I would get baby chicks and ducklings from street vendors, then try to raise them at home. They were the sweetest little things! Unfortunately we were not very good at keeping them alive since we didn’t have a heat lamp and had no clue what we were doing. So I guess it’s best to leave it to their moms to raise them til they’re not cute anymore. Still, I love it when I can play with baby animals. They feel so great!
Posts Tagged ‘babies’
365great Day 243: baby animals
Having a baby boy in China is a BIG deal
When I was born? Probably not a big deal.
One of my cousins in China recently gave birth to a baby boy and oh my gosh, it was such a big deal. You think you’re excited to have a kid? You should imagine how excited you’d be if that was the ONLY kid you were allowed to have in your lifetime. And let’s say you had a boy like my cousin – then you get to be super excited that your family lineage gets passed on. Yeah, boys are still valued more than girls over there (as in many countries, I’m sure).
Maybe I should also mention that you’re not allowed to know the gender of your child, so it’s a surprise for just about every citizen in China when their child is born. Of course, sometimes people “cheat” and find a way to find out, but by law doctors are not allowed to tell you (and they abide by it strictly). You better have some mad connections to get an accurate reveal ahead of time. So come labor time, there’s a ton of anticipation as everyone waits to find out the all-important question: is it a boy or girl??
If you’re confused about these crazy rules (laws), let me explain. You’ve probably heard of the One Child Policy in China at some point. Most people have an inkling that Chinese families are only allowed one kid. Maybe you didn’t believe it or didn’t think they take it so seriously. Well, it’s definitely a law that’s alive and well, though a bit more lax now (like if you remarry you’re allowed to have a child with your new spouse).
Layer on top of that the outlawing of gender revealing during pregnancy and you’ve got one mad nation (as in crazy – specifically, boy crazy – not upset or angry per se). Can you imagine how curious you’d be? The reason that you’re not allowed to know the gender of the baby is because boys are heavily favored for passing down the family name and whatnot, so many people would have an abortion if they knew it was a girl. This probably wouldn’t be such a big deal to families if you got more than one chance to have a boy. But as the laws go, you only get that one chance.
Not only did the announcement of a boy stir up a whole lot of chatter, family activity has picked up as everyone makes their way to send their well wishes. Traditionally, each family is supposed to send one representative, but since my family is all the way here in the US, one of my aunts is representing our family as well. It’s time for my cousin to get showered with gifts and attention (though really it’s probably all going towards that son of hers).
Having a boy is so important that family members are pitching in to “guard” him. Yeah. They’re afraid he’ll get stolen or swapped out. I mean, that’s how big a deal it is. Are they overreacting and paranoid? Maybe. But you never know… with so many couples desperate for a boy, they just might do crazy things to get one.
Parenthood
Yesterday afternoon, unbeknownst to us, Typea became an uncle when his sister Chuckles gave birth to a little baby girl! We found out much later that night and now I will just refer to him as Uncle, haha. I’ve gotten a chance to chat with Chuckles a few times and she showed me some of the stuff they got for the baby, including a small bathtub, soft wrap thing, camera, and video camera. I’ve always had this sort of fear and aversion of pregnant women, but somehow I felt nothing of the sort with her. Perhaps it is because she held herself so well and dressed in ways that did not look awkward. I saw a pregnant woman at the mall just recently and I definitely did not like her ‘belly half peeking out’ look.
A few months ago I also came across some pictures of an old high school classmate who had given birth to a boy and looked at some of her pictures. Just yesterday I came across more shots and the boy has grown quite a bit! It also struck me how strange it was to tell Panda that the baby was not even 24 hours old yet when I informed him. That made me think of how quickly babies change in the first days, weeks, months, and years of their lives. After a certain point, noticeable change occurs much less frequently and days become a little less meaningful and sometimes lost among the hubbub of activities. So it’s quite cool to have the prospect of seeing a baby only days old soon.
photo credit: centralutahpublichealth.com
It also makes me wonder about a lot of things that you normally wouldn’t think of (or at least that I’ve never really thought of), like what contractions feel like and how newborn feels and how the body looks immediately after birth – do you just deflate, in a way? A few weeks ago we got a visit from a couple who brought their newborn and I remember the mother saying that the baby was too young to be fussy yet, since she was taking in so much of the environment. Then last night Chatty was telling me how you’ve gotta understand that the baby went from a warm environment so safe and cushy to a completely new one, with light and sounds and probably air conditioning too. I never really thought of the transition for the baby, from everything provided by the mother to fending for itself (in a sense). But it totally makes sense that they cry and sleep a lot, since there’s so much to adapt to and so much to learn and process.
When it’s my turn, I don’t think I want to rely on books and advice from strangers. As Chatty said, it’s from their own experience, but you must spend the time to get to know your own baby. Why is she crying? Is she cold? Is she hungry? What does she like? These are all things that you learn with experience and I want to do it the old-fashioned way, without guidelines that I fall upon, but instead using some common sense and trial and error. Maybe that sounds terrible to some (why ignore all the resources?), but other than practicing how to hold an infant and learning about some basic skills, I don’t plan on seeking tips from outside sources.
After all, I don’t want to raise a kid like everyone else, especially with the way I see the younger generation turning out. I’ve got my own values and philosophy in terms of how to raise a kid and I’m sure much of it will be adjusted to fit with how we want our family to be. So really, it’s a discovery journey for us to embark on and not a beaten path for us to follow. I also don’t want to become dependent on a manual, flipping through each time the baby cries to figure out what might be wrong. I just don’t want there to be a tradeoff in effort to learn on my part because there are piles of books available to do the dirty work for me. Babies aren’t plug and play toys and shouldn’t be treated as such.
