Yesterday afternoon, unbeknownst to us, Typea became an uncle when his sister Chuckles gave birth to a little baby girl! We found out much later that night and now I will just refer to him as Uncle, haha. I’ve gotten a chance to chat with Chuckles a few times and she showed me some of the stuff they got for the baby, including a small bathtub, soft wrap thing, camera, and video camera. I’ve always had this sort of fear and aversion of pregnant women, but somehow I felt nothing of the sort with her. Perhaps it is because she held herself so well and dressed in ways that did not look awkward. I saw a pregnant woman at the mall just recently and I definitely did not like her ‘belly half peeking out’ look.
A few months ago I also came across some pictures of an old high school classmate who had given birth to a boy and looked at some of her pictures. Just yesterday I came across more shots and the boy has grown quite a bit! It also struck me how strange it was to tell Panda that the baby was not even 24 hours old yet when I informed him. That made me think of how quickly babies change in the first days, weeks, months, and years of their lives. After a certain point, noticeable change occurs much less frequently and days become a little less meaningful and sometimes lost among the hubbub of activities. So it’s quite cool to have the prospect of seeing a baby only days old soon.
photo credit: centralutahpublichealth.com
It also makes me wonder about a lot of things that you normally wouldn’t think of (or at least that I’ve never really thought of), like what contractions feel like and how newborn feels and how the body looks immediately after birth – do you just deflate, in a way? A few weeks ago we got a visit from a couple who brought their newborn and I remember the mother saying that the baby was too young to be fussy yet, since she was taking in so much of the environment. Then last night Chatty was telling me how you’ve gotta understand that the baby went from a warm environment so safe and cushy to a completely new one, with light and sounds and probably air conditioning too. I never really thought of the transition for the baby, from everything provided by the mother to fending for itself (in a sense). But it totally makes sense that they cry and sleep a lot, since there’s so much to adapt to and so much to learn and process.
When it’s my turn, I don’t think I want to rely on books and advice from strangers. As Chatty said, it’s from their own experience, but you must spend the time to get to know your own baby. Why is she crying? Is she cold? Is she hungry? What does she like? These are all things that you learn with experience and I want to do it the old-fashioned way, without guidelines that I fall upon, but instead using some common sense and trial and error. Maybe that sounds terrible to some (why ignore all the resources?), but other than practicing how to hold an infant and learning about some basic skills, I don’t plan on seeking tips from outside sources.
After all, I don’t want to raise a kid like everyone else, especially with the way I see the younger generation turning out. I’ve got my own values and philosophy in terms of how to raise a kid and I’m sure much of it will be adjusted to fit with how we want our family to be. So really, it’s a discovery journey for us to embark on and not a beaten path for us to follow. I also don’t want to become dependent on a manual, flipping through each time the baby cries to figure out what might be wrong. I just don’t want there to be a tradeoff in effort to learn on my part because there are piles of books available to do the dirty work for me. Babies aren’t plug and play toys and shouldn’t be treated as such.
