Posts Tagged ‘experiences’

Rationing control

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Perhaps you associate rationing with wartime, like I generally do. Did you know that in China they still do it? Well, at least in terms of the [centralized] heating supply. Every year, as fall fades away, the citizens await the day that their heating will get turned on. It’s earliest in the northern cities (like my hometown of Shenyang) and later in areas like Beijing. For those in the south – forget about it. No matter how cold it gets, they have no heat unless you purchase a special air conditioning/heating unit for your home. Then, as spring approaches, as soon as the government deems it warm enough, the heat is taken away again. And so year after year, the Chinese get to deal with bundling up in their homes because they don’t have enough heat.

chinese granddaughter and grandfather standing outside doorway in winter

Maybe that’s why winter wear looks like this and usually includes 5-7 layers, even indoors.

Back when I was born in the 1980’s, there was a lot of food rationing too. My mom always told me how eggs were a valued commodity in the cities and when she was pregnant, she got to enjoy the one egg per household (per month I think, though maybe it was per week). I had a cousin who was a year older than me and when I was born, I turned out to be a big eater. Or drinker, I guess. I gobbled up milk like nobody’s business (which meant that my cousin’s milk rations often went to me too). Maybe that’s why I grew up so big and strong.

Even housing in the old days was “rationed” – you were given a place to live and that was that, pretty much. If you wanted to move (within the same city), you could apply to be “given” a different apartment that might be newer and/or in a better location. I believe there was some sort of lottery system to help determine who got to live where. Certainly unlike the American buying experience I’m used to, where any house anywhere is fair game if it’s in your price range.

And then there’s the One Child Policy, which is kind of like rationing children to families. Except in this case, rather than waiting to be given what you want, you have what you want (once) and that’s it. Still, it’s similar to getting handed rations since you are allowed a limited supply, which has nothing to do with your personal situation. Rather, it’s an “everybody gets the same restriction” kind of thing.

Each of these in their own ways take control away from you the individual. You do not have the power to decide that you want to heat your home earlier in the year, or that you want to eat half a dozen eggs in one sitting, or that you want to move clear across town to that beautiful new complex, or that you want to have another child. Granted, things have eased up over the years and many of these rules have gone away or at least become more flexible. Still, sometimes it amazes me what sort of uber-controlling environment some cultures grow up in. And how the act of rationing itself is a rationing of control: Here, this is how much control we’ll give you over your own life. All’s fair in communism, right?

365great Day 38: 1 Second Everyday

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365great challenge day 38: 1 second everydayI’ve officially completed a full month’s worth of 1SE clips! I found out about this fun project through Kickstarter, where I backed it and got to download it from the App Store when it launched. I was a bit late to the game (oops) and didn’t redeem my copy for quite awhile, but I finally got around to it and I’ve been having a blast! It’s so entertaining to watch little 1-second clips of days gone by and remember what was happening in that moment. For the most part, it only holds meaning for me, but it’s so meaningful.

If you’ve ever done a photo a day sort of project, you sort of know what I’m talking about. But the added dimensions of video make it even more powerful and it’s a fabulous way to look back on your life. You’ve seriously got to try it! Now you don’t have to rely on still visuals solely to share your story and record those memories. You can incorporate motion and sound, which are very enriching. I’ve had video clips that I chose purely for the sound that it had captured. What a fun, simple way to capture snippets of your life. And the app makes it super easy to clip and compile. It’s great!!

The worrisome type (& a story about a golf club)

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I grew up rather carefree, with just a normal amount of teenage angst and self-doubt. My personality has always been the type to “smile first, figure it out later” – or sometimes I just laugh it off. While I am stubborn and can have a temper, I’m usually grinning or chuckling at something. I guess I take after my dad, who may not smile as much, but is pretty easygoing about things and not really one to worry too much. Meanwhile, my mother and boyfriend are completely different!

taylormade 7 iron golf club head with background of grass

The golf club.

Let me give you an example: recently, I found an offer for a free “Boccieri Secret Grip” for a golf club. I had no idea what that means, but my dad’s really into golf so I thought he might want it. Since he was busy, my mom and I went to Dick’s to redeem the offer. The coupon instructed us to bring a 7 Iron or driver in tow – we grabbed the 7 Iron because it’s lighter :-P. So we get into the store and are sent to the guy in the golf section, who takes the club behind the counter. My mom and I check out the two giant spaces they have for testing golf clubs, one which includes a projection of a videogame-like golf course.

Then we look back at the guy.

My dad’s golf club had been stripped into a sad-looking pole! Gone was the TaylorMade grip. The handle was exposed and he vigorously tore off some leftover tape still sticking to it. At this point, my mother and I are in shock. Ok, so call us clueless, but we had no idea that a free grip meant removing the one we had! We watched as he stuck this double-sided sticky paper to the pole, then wet the exposed surface and the interior of the new grip. This allowed the grip to slide on.

taylormade grip with cut splitting it down middle

RIP, old grip.

He handed it back to us as we stared, dazed. What just happened?? In a trash bin, on top of a pile of papers, lay the original grip. Sad, forlorn, floppy. We asked for it back. We were surprised to find that it had been sliced straight down the middle, but I guess that’s how you remove them. The guy explained to us that the Boccieri Secret Grip has a metal weight in it so the relative weight of the club head is lighter. Apparently that’s supposed to help with your golf game. He also showed us the TaylorMade grips they had in store, which we could always re-grip the club with. The patterning wasn’t the same as ours, but it was the same brand.

new boccieri secret grip on golf clubAnd so we left the store, my mom clinging to the ruined grip. We had some grocery shopping to do and throughout the entire time, she kept sighing and sort of melodramatically “wailing” in despair. She was sad, upset, even angry that the guy had so heartlessly cut up the old grip. To her, TaylorMade was a brand name and Boccieri was… not. And so she felt like the club had been downgraded. Plus, she wasn’t happy that the set no longer matched.

new boccieri secret grip on gold club with old taylormade grip laying on groundI, on the other hand, while certainly shocked at first, quickly recovered. Maybe it really is better and maybe it will help my dad’s golf swing or precision or something. Also, just because we hadn’t heard of the name didn’t mean that it wasn’t a brand name in itself. Who knows. But more important than the brand is the performance! And that’s pretty much exactly what my dad said when we got home. I don’t think he was thrilled that the grip was replaced, but he was open-minded and willing to give it a try. He also wasn’t so concerned about a perfectly matching set or any brand name.

Even then, my mom had a hard time letting it go. It was still a big deal to her! That’s just the type of person she is. I guess some people just get much more worked up over things. To me, they cause themselves a whole lot of unnecessary stress. But hey, that’s their prerogative! Are you the worrisome type too?

365great Day 35: LUSH

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365great challenge day 35: lushI first came across LUSH when I was studying abroad in England. It was love at first smell! I mean, so many of their amazing products look so good you just want to eat them. Plus, they smell lovely and they’re made from natural ingredients. Add to that the fresh and handmade factor and I was totally sold (in theory – I was still to cheap to actually buy anything, much as I wanted). After returning to the US, I sorely regretted not getting that charcoal face soap I’d been eyeing.

A few years later, I was thrilled when they finally opened up shop in the LA area! This time I finally got to use some of their products and it’s always so fun since it feels like something you could just cook up in your own kitchen. Lately I got into solid shampoos and of course, LUSH has those too. I’ve got a lovely bar of that at home that I’ve been using and it’s perfect for travel. LUSH is one of the earlier eco-friendly, socially responsible brands I’d heard of and it still retains a special place in my memories. Their products are pretty great!

365great Day 32: body pillows

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365great challenge day 32: body pillowsHave you ever tried one of these? THEY ARE AMAZING. I first got a blue one at Costco back in my 2nd year of college and I kid you not, I did not get out of bed for a week. It was sooo soft, sooo comfortable, sooo warm and wonderful… my roommate probably thought I’d lost it when she came back from class to find me still snoozing away. I used this to keep me warm at night many a time when the blanket just didn’t suffice. It’s also great on road trips in the back of the car, wrapped around your waist when you’re working in bed/on the couch, or even laying on top of when the ground’s too hard. My blue body pillow is very well-loved!

For years I tried to find it again, but Costco only carried ones with weird designs that didn’t feel as good. I then finally found some listed at Kohl’s! I quickly got the beige one pictured and was more gentle with this one. One thing about the lovely fuzzy material that it’s made with is that it gets rougher the more you use it (you know like that stuffed animal that you lug around with you everywhere… the one that’s got the weird clumpy fur now). So with this one I wanted to preserve the lush, soft feeling for as long as possible. For whatever reason, they’re not that easy to find! In fact, I can’t even find a single listing online for these Hollander Home Fashions ones. Perhaps I should stock up… they’re really that great.

Trigger words

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The actual topic of this post delves into a sobering subject. If you are not comfortable with that, please do not read on.

Are there certain words in your life that evoke a strong, intense emotional response? Sometimes they crop up in the most surprising places. I happened upon one today as I was entering some giveaways. It was for gift baskets of food and/or personal care products like lotions and they asked you to share which one you liked the most. I chose the Ghirardelli Springtime Chocolate Sampler and in the comment section, as I was sharing why I liked it the best, I nearly used the word “decadence.” And that’s my trigger word.

Why? Because it reminded me of a sad, sad song from my past. I couldn’t quite remember the lyrics or who sang it, but I did remember it contained the word “decadence” and alludes to the subject of rape. So of course I did a quick search and eventually found with the song: Wash Away Those Years, by Creed. I don’t know why that single word stood out to me in this song – perhaps because it is rarely used in songs – but suddenly I found myself melancholic.

Whenever I think of rape, I think of the cathartic time I spent one summer in a darkened Broad Auditorium at UCLA, crying to a slow, sad version of Precious Things by Tori Amos. I was an Orientation Counselor and as part of the Orientation Program, we showed incoming freshman a video/audio presentation with slides of sobering facts about rapes on college campuses and of young adults in general. At one point, the lights came back on and the audience was asked to stand if they or someone they knew had been raped or sexually assaulted. Many fellow counselors and a sizable portion of students stood as we all looked around to see just how many of us had been affected.

When I attended my own orientation before starting at UCLA, I probably saw this presentation, but at that time it didn’t stick because I had no emotional connection to the subject. By the time I became a counselor I’d experienced attempted rape myself and then the presentation suddenly struck a chord with me. The first time we were shown it was during training, and I’m pretty sure I wept. It was so unexpected that I was struck to my core. I’d gone through the emotional healing process and put it behind me; it wasn’t something that I had to think about so I’d moved on. But suddenly it came rushing back to me and I found myself having to deal with all the sadness again.

And so, I spent many a time sitting with the newest batch of students and those fellow counselors, wondering if they thought I cried because I knew someone, that I was a sensitive soul, that I felt the pain of others… or if they thought that I might have experienced it too. I doubt I’ll ever really know what they thought (or even if they noticed), but that’s fine. I remember that one counselor had revealed her pain during a time when we were sharing a lot of personal stories. I had wanted to, too, but it just didn’t come out. So when it came time for that presentation, I let my emotions get out. I don’t think I could ever sit through that presentation without shedding a few tears, no matter how much time goes by.

Luckily, the hurt, the trauma, the confusion… that has faded. Every now and then I’m still deeply affected by thinking of that time, but I recover much more easily than before. Tonight (well, early morning technically) was the first time since that summer nearly 5 years ago that I got a rush of the old emotions again. It’s a reminder of a scar that may never go away. And sometimes, randomly, I’ll be reminded again because of a trigger word like “decadence” when I think of yummy chocolate.

365great Day 31: freshly baked

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365great challenge day 31: freshly bakedDon’t you just love the smell of something baking in the oven? Whether it’s bread, cookies, brownies, cake, a pot pie, a pizza, or whatever your favorite may be, a wonderful smell starts wafting up in the air and then you get to pull out a hot, delicious, steaming tray of food to eat. As the food cools down, you can dig in and enjoy the sensory experience of tasting and smelling it, as well as enjoying the lovely soft texture while it’s sill moist. It’s one of the simple things that is oh so satisfying. Totally great!

Having a baby boy in China is a BIG deal

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chinese baby wrapped in poufy red swaddling clothes laying on bed

When I was born? Probably not a big deal.

One of my cousins in China recently gave birth to a baby boy and oh my gosh, it was such a big deal. You think you’re excited to have a kid? You should imagine how excited you’d be if that was the ONLY kid you were allowed to have in your lifetime. And let’s say you had a boy like my cousin – then you get to be super excited that your family lineage gets passed on. Yeah, boys are still valued more than girls over there (as in many countries, I’m sure).

Maybe I should also mention that you’re not allowed to know the gender of your child, so it’s a surprise for just about every citizen in China when their child is born. Of course, sometimes people “cheat” and find a way to find out, but by law doctors are not allowed to tell you (and they abide by it strictly). You better have some mad connections to get an accurate reveal ahead of time. So come labor time, there’s a ton of anticipation as everyone waits to find out the all-important question: is it a boy or girl??

If you’re confused about these crazy rules (laws), let me explain. You’ve probably heard of the One Child Policy in China at some point. Most people have an inkling that Chinese families are only allowed one kid. Maybe you didn’t believe it or didn’t think they take it so seriously. Well, it’s definitely a law that’s alive and well, though a bit more lax now (like if you remarry you’re allowed to have a child with your new spouse).

Layer on top of that the outlawing of gender revealing during pregnancy and you’ve got one mad nation (as in crazy – specifically, boy crazy – not upset or angry per se). Can you imagine how curious you’d be? The reason that you’re not allowed to know the gender of the baby is because boys are heavily favored for passing down the family name and whatnot, so many people would have an abortion if they knew it was a girl. This probably wouldn’t be such a big deal to families if you got more than one chance to have a boy. But as the laws go, you only get that one chance.

Not only did the announcement of a boy stir up a whole lot of chatter, family activity has picked up as everyone makes their way to send their well wishes. Traditionally, each family is supposed to send one representative, but since my family is all the way here in the US, one of my aunts is representing our family as well. It’s time for my cousin to get showered with gifts and attention (though really it’s probably all going towards that son of hers).

Having a boy is so important that family members are pitching in to “guard” him. Yeah. They’re afraid he’ll get stolen or swapped out. I mean, that’s how big a deal it is. Are they overreacting and paranoid? Maybe. But you never know… with so many couples desperate for a boy, they just might do crazy things to get one.

On My Mind, episode 3

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(Linking up with Jennifer of Ramblings of a Suburban Mom for Thursday Thoughts again!)

I was just thinking that perhaps On My Mind/In My Life would be slightly more appropriate for these posts, but that title’s too long, eh? You get the point, right?

gogobot cartoon bear with sunglasses

Gogobot bear!

~Some totally awesome things have happened lately!! For one, I was happily surprised to find that I became a Gogobot Pro 2013! I only joined the site in late February so I certainly didn’t expect that so soon. Granted, I did spend a ton of time ramping* up my reviews past 100 so I could get that free swag I shared previously. As a Gogobot Pro, I get even more awesome stuff, which is on its way, yay! Can’t wait to show you what else I get AND to plan a trip to take advantage of it all. 🙂

~Sometimes you get what you want just by holding out hope and having some luck. That’s what happened with a recent eBay auction, where I bid around $2.50 and the ultimate winner of the auction bid around $7.50. I was not willing to pay that much, but I held out hope that I’d eventually get the product at the price point I wanted. AND THEN I got a second chance offer! If you’re not familiar with eBay, sellers can choose to give a “second chance offer” to any of the bidders who didn’t win the auction. As long as they have more product (or the auction winner doesn’t pay up), they can extend that offer to you if they feel your highest bid price is acceptable. I got a pretty great deal.

glass jar with fold over elastic band hair ties

source: lilblueboo

~Wondering what I got for that eBay auction? Well, it’s some foldover elastic – which may mean nothing to you – and it’s what you use to make those hair ties you probably know as Twistbands. I was certainly not about to pay $2 for ONE hair tie, but I do want to try them to see if they’re more effective. Once I figured out the “technical” term for them, it was pretty easy to find on eBay. My long, desperate searches in the aisles of Joann’s, Michael’s, and Walmart are thankfully over. I’m excited to make my own!

graze box congratulations welcome screen

The coveted welcome screen.

~As of last night I FINALLYYYY got a working code for Graze! Thanks to a lovely reader posting on Jennifer’s Ramblings of a Suburban Mom Facebook page, I have signed up for my weekly snacks. The default is every other week, but with just four snacks per shipment, that’s not enough for my snacking habits so I increased the frequency.

~If you’ve never won anything, let me just say that you just gotta try a lot and set your heart to doing everything you can to win. So many people complain that they never win… and you know what? They never even enter. Beyond that, you can still win at times if you don’t give up and stay positive! Check out the time I won a $150 UCLA rug because I tried really hard.

~So for the past two or three weeks, I’ve been having this strange thing happen to me; whenever I eat small bits of food, inevitably one piece will get stuck in this extra space in my throat. I swallow and swallow to no effect, but a rush of water usually flushes it out. Is this normal?? Shouldn’t my throat be one straight tube? Maybe these pieces are somewhere in middle ground between “throat” and “windpipe” territory. :-/

~Last week it was reeeeeally windy! I seriously thought that a palm tree might come crashing down into the house. Thank goodness they’re sturdier than the more “branchy” trees. I believe these are the Santa Ana winds, which I first learned about when I arrived to SoCal 10 years and read a passage in English class, telling me that these winds cause scenes in which “Meek little wives feel the edge of the carving knife and study their husbands’ necks.” Talk about mildly traumatizing. I didn’t get it then and I still don’t get it now, but it sure did stick with me all these years.

hotel maya guestroom restroom

With a toilet paper holder between the toilet and sink, how am I to reach back there??

~And finally, a pet peeve of mine: why do so many places put the toilet paper holder in an inconvenient location? I don’t want to have to do some sort of contortionist act just to reach it. I know that due to the design of the space, sometimes that’s all that works, but you’d think they might take that into consideration when drawing up the blueprints. I guess I could retrain myself to get the toilet paper first, but old habits die hard.

*as a side note, I realized the way I work is in “binges” – more on that in a later post

365great Day 27: micro-entrepreneurism

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I’ve written about micro-entrepreneurism before and I’ll say it again: I love that new business models are popping up all over the place (on the web), empowering people to be small-time entrepreneurs. Whether you want to pet sit, run people’s errands, do freelance projects, give tours, rent out your space, teach a private lesson, or cook/bake for hire… there’s probably a site out there for you. What a great way to take your skill sets and/or passions and turn them into income-generating gigs! While it’s definitely challenging and takes a lot to be able to live off odd jobs like that, the experiences are extremely rewarding and satisfying. And hey, for most people, it’s just a nice way to supplement your income by doing what you’re good at.

365great challenge day 27: micro-entrepreneurismIn this picture I was demoing food at the Whole Foods in Westwood through my employer, Natural Selection Promotions. I really enjoyed that job since I requested shifts only when I wanted, had an everchanging work environment, and got to get out from behind a desk. At first it was a summer job and then it was an in-between job once I graduated college and was looking for work. I liked that I got to move around in the day, meet new people all the time, and only work when I decided to. The pay was pretty good and I even got extra food samples to keep much of the time! Since then, a far more robust industry has grown to allow people similar experiences. It’s easier than ever to take what you love or know and turn it into an income-generator. This sort of empowerment is truly great.

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