Panda and I went to Fiesta Hermosa today and boy was it windy and chilly at the beach! Waves were crashing in more violently than normal, sand was getting blown around, my hair and dress got whipped about, and so did a kite some people were flying.
windy beach day from Mary Qin on Vimeo.
blown around from Mary Qin on Vimeo.
kite in wind from Mary Qin on Vimeo.
This past Saturday was UCLA Alumni Day, where alum are invited back to their alma mater to spend a day listening to panels, taking tours, and otherwise enjoying what UCLA has become in the years since graduation. It’s a nice day to go back to campus and find out what the latest is with the university and I was really glad that Panda was able to come with me this time. We haven’t been away from campus long enough to need tours to reintroduce us to the ever-changing landscape, so we signed up for the three panels of the day to learn about advances in healthcare, innovation, and motivation.
The first panel was enlightening and really highlighted the delicate balance between human service and machine assistance that is required in the medical field. While technology allows more and more processes to become semi-automated, the human component becomes increasingly important to maintain. After all, you don’t remember how nice a machine was to you – you remember how kind that nurse, doctor, or other staff were. Parts of the talk were a bit lecture-y and it was hard to stay focused due to the intellectual nature of the topic, but overall I did enjoy and appreciate it.
During the lunch break, Panda and I headed over to the School of Engineering’s open house, where we saw some student exhibits, got some free swag, grabbed some snacks, and got a tour of the plasma lab. It was my first time really exploring Engineering V and IV, and Panda got to show me some cool spots, like the second floor balcony area that I never knew existed.
After wandering around trying to decide on which place to eat lunch (we were given vouchers to choose our own meals this year), we came back for lecture number two on innovation. The entire panel consisted of Disney employees, past and present, and each had prepared some sort of visual to share. Definitely a completely different tone and vibe from the first panel. While the talk itself was fun and lively, I didn’t understand the connection to UCLA or alumni day. Whereas the first panel was addressing an issue that UCLA is deeply involved in and at the forefront of, this one struck me as almost a marketing pitch. I didn’t feel like I learned much, but I guess it was more about being entertained.
Towards the end of the panel, during the question and answer session, the fire alarm went off in Ackerman Union, so we had to clear the space. Panda and I wandered around enjoying strolling around campus and eventually ended up in Wilson Plaza, where breakfast and the opening ceremony had been. Due to the fire alarm, the third panel was actually moved out here, so we were there when it began. The motivation one seemed to pretty much just be about sports, so we decided to catch a tour bus and check out Westwood. Unfortunately, we got in line too late to get a seat on atop the open-air bus, so we were stuck downstairs. It was a pretty quick trip around our campus and the town; I really wish the bus had stopped in certain areas so the student volunteers could explain more about the new buildings and other changes to student life.
Soon enough, it was time for the closing speeches and dinner. While we were eating, a random lady approached me asking if I spoke Chinese. When she found that I did, she began to ask about the university. It turns out she was scouting for her daughter, who will be applying in two years. After a hearty conversation, Panda and I finished up our meals and went over to the registration tent to take a picture with Joe Bruin. I had decided that I wanted to take the buckets used as centerpieces for the tables, so we walked around looking for an empty table so we could take the bucket without having to ask if someone else wanted it.
And that was it, the end to our very first UCLA Alumni Day together! I’m sure we’ll find time back at campus more valuable the more time we spend away from it. Still, not a bad start to what hopefully becomes a tradition for us. Oh yeah, and apparently the world was supposed to end right around the time we were having dinner! So much for that.
When some people found out that Panda and I will have Skype on as we go about our normal business, they didn’t understand it. They asked me what the point is and they found it to be weird. Obviously they don’t take the same comfort that I do in just having him around (in whatever form required). I don’t believe that conversations should have to be staged for a certain period of time just because you are on a phone or meeting with each other. That works for those you don’t get to see much. But for someone you’re dating, it’s just not enough. Plus, it’s much more natural to have spurts of conversation based on what is happening in real time, rather than condensing everything you want to share into a few minutes a day.
So what better than to sit on Skype, being able to check in on each other and see what the other is doing? I mean, it’s as close to being in the same room as you can possibly get when you’re (thousands of) miles away. And really, the best sort of interaction is in person, so I don’t see why more people wouldn’t want to sit around video chatting their loved ones. I guess part of it is my inability to relate to their need to keep things from their significant other. It’s a common theme among the talk I hear about relationships. Why do people have so many secrets to keep? While I understand you don’t always want to share everything, I certainly never feel the need to hide things and Panda actually errs on the side of sharing too much.
I love being able to look up from what I’m doing and see how he is when I am unable to actually be with him. I like the freedom of being able to come and go and not have to continuously call him back or disrupt his routine. Apparently other people just like to have their lives to themselves, but me? I like to have Panda around as much as possible. That’s why I keep my Skype on.
Ever since visiting Panda two weekends ago, I’ve been able to get up earlier in the morning (in fact, I can’t help but wake up between 6 and 7:30). When I first wake in the morning, I usually take a look at my phone to make sure I still have time and go back to a light sleep until my alarm goes off at 8:30. I then get out of bed in the next 15-20 minutes, shower, and get ready to head out. I’ve been able to make it to work on time or 5-10 minutes early. Fantastic!
Prior to my trip, I’d been getting in a bad habit – snoozing until 9:15, when I’d jump out of bed, throw something on, brush my teeth and hair, wash my face, and rush out only to be 5 minutes late to work. While nobody is watching the clock when we start showing up at work, I always felt a little guilty that I just couldn’t make it on time. Who knows if anybody else noticed. All that mattered was my own conscience, nagging at me silently. I’d been slipping into a funk and no matter what I tried, I couldn’t fix it. I even slept a good 8-9 hours once and I think it actually made matters worse.
I guess getting up at 3:30 AM PST to get to the airport and hop on a flight that would get me to LA by 11:30 AM PST did something to adjust my biological clock setting. Even though I did sleep quite a bit on the plane, none of it was very restful and as soon as I landed I headed back to work that day. By the end of my work day, I was so exhausted I wanted nothing else but to rest. Maybe what I needed was just that one day of extended exhaustion to make me tired by 11 and actually willing to sleep before midnight. Now I get plenty of sleep and while I always want more, it is much easier to get up on time in the mornings (and even sneak a shower in!).
So you see people, jetlag isn’t always a bad thing! Maybe it’s even that restart or jump start that your body has been waiting for.
This weekend has gone by too fast, yet Panda and I were able to get a lot done! It was really nice to get to see all the places that he has spoken about and also take a quick tour of D.C., since it’s been years since I’ve been here. In fact, I haven’t returned since we moved out to California nearly 9 years ago. I’d almost forgotten what the scenery was like around here, with plenty of greenery and bodies of water. The weather has been so-so and I am looking forward to experiencing a real summer again in a few months. The one thing I’ve always missed is seeing fireflies on those hot summer nights.
It’s hard to believe that the weekend is over and tomorrow, we’ll both be back at work, thousands of miles from each other. The good thing is, he’ll be back to the West coast in a couple of weeks for work so I get to see him again. It’s been nice hanging out back East and I look forward to coming again later this year. For now, it’s time to pack my suitcase and return to my life in LA.
…or two fortune cookies on a plate? Delicious!
Mmm, perfect way to spice up a fortune cookie!
Ah, the beauty of human interaction. It’s been awhile since I’ve gone out to hang out with friends as much as I used to in college and I didn’t realize how much I missed it! College is sort of a non-stop rollercoaster of social interactions and chilling with friends. You’re surrounded by peers almost the entire time you’re there, which is a stark contrast to the loneliness of work life. Nowadays I come home from work and plop down in front of the computer for the night. I talk to Panda on Skype and maybe talk to friends via IM, email, or Facebook. I rarely go out to meet up with my friends!
However, things seem to be changing pace a bit recently. I’ve started to get out more and make more plans. It’s nice to have social events scattered throughout my schedule and it gives me something to look forward to! Actually, let me clarify – it’s nice to have social events with friends. After all, I’ve been going to a decent number of other events, like yoga, networking events, and massages/facials. Those types of activities don’t satisfy my hanging out with friends quota though. You just can’t beat chilling with people you’re familiar with, whether it’s over a meal or on a couch.
I’ve got a lot of scheduling to do and I’m really looking forward to it! It also helps that part of my chilling with friends gets to be chilling with Panda, finally. 🙂
I bet you've never bought an ice cream cake for this cheap.
For Valentine’s day, Panda and I went to get an ice cream cake at Ralph’s. They were already discounted and we had a coupon, so it came out to be really cheap. Even more fortunate, the cashier accidentally started scanning someone else’s coupons to us and we got even more off! Ultimately it came down to 49 cents. Yup, awesome deal.
Well, Panda and I have been going through some tough times so I wanted to take some time to celebrate what makes our relationship beautiful. We’re not your average couple… He is not afraid of domestic work and I am not afraid of manual labor (or bugs :-P). I do not expect him to be the bread winner and he does not expect me to raise the kids mostly on my own. We are not afraid to show emotions to each other and cry. We are also completely comfortable with each other’s bodily functions, though we may tease each other about them at times. I don’t see a reason to conform to society’s standards and censor myself with him.
Then again, I guess a lot of that is sort of the traditional sexist type of relationship. Many modern relationships are not restricted quite like that, but still I find myself grateful for what we have when I hear about others’ views. When the guys at work talk about their girlfriends/wives spending $400 on a purse, I gawk like they’re all insane (which they are). I can’t fathom ever spending that kind of money on a purse, or shoes, or clothes. Then there’s the engagement ring of $10k+. What?! At first the ones I liked were a few hundred. Then I started to look at nicer ones in the $2000-5000 range and that’s where I’m at. Why spend more? It’s a waste. Panda will never have to worry about saving up crazy amounts of money so I can spend it all away.
Another thing that struck me was when the guys were talking about going to events without their significant other and being able to enjoy themselves more that way. I can’t think of a single event I don’t want Panda to come with me to. In fact, many a time I’ve opted out because he didn’t want to come or was unable to. The first thing I think about is how much fun I’d have if he could come. Not how much fun I could have if he didn’t come. That concept was foreign to me and the events I do go to alone, I am missing Panda the entire time. Of course, I still do what I can to enjoy myself, but it would be infinitely better with him there to share the experience.
We are also perfectly honest with each other. Cheating, abusing, breaking up – these are all things we’ve discussed before. We will do everything in our powers to prevent these atrocities, but we recognize we’re human, we’re not perfect, and it’s possible it could happen. Our open line of communication might sometimes be too open and feelings get hurt, people get offended. Nevertheless, we accept what is the truth and work with it. Things aren’t always peachy, but we aren’t giving up.
Perhaps the problem is actually that our type of relationship is NOT the standard. I sure think it would help lower the divorce rate since you either wouldn’t get married in the first place, or work through your problems and stay together for it. People can do with a lot more trying and a lot less giving up.
Panda’s getting all settled in on the east coast, which is making me reminisce about when I used to live there. One of the things I liked was having real seasons and SNOW!
Oh how I miss when it would snow like this.
