Posts Tagged ‘pictures’

Opinions brewing

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , , , , , , , ,
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EnneagramI have realized, in my many attempts to get a satisfactory answer to what I fall under in the Enneagram types and justify my behavioral preferences in Emergenetics, that I am much more opinionated than I may seem to be.  Answering the questions they pose has gotten me deeply introspective about my emergeneticsperson.  According to my profile, I should be more assertive than I feel I am and far more ready to express my opinions.  Yet, I find that I hold my tongue a lot and keep my thoughts to myself, save for some ranting to Panda (poor guy) and occasional references to it in my writing.  As I started to reflect more on what kind of a person I am and how I interact with and fit into the world, I began to see that yes, I am rather assertive and gregarious about how I feel.  It’s just that few things seem important enough for me to actually express my thoughts on it, so I usually opt to keep it in rather than allow any brashness to come out and hurt others.

This is where I keep my spontaneity in check, to ensure the peace is not disturbed unless I just can’t contain it anymore or determine that the benefits of doing so outweigh the costs.  I’m a very analytical person, so I prefer to sit around thinking about my options, weighing them in turn.  I tend to see many points of view, so it takes me time to process them all and evaluate the best course of action.  Internally I may be fuming, but externally I am quiet and withdrawn as I retreat to my thoughts to digest what is going on.  I like to fantasize and get lost in my imagination to escape what bothers me in this world and dream up scenarios in which problems could be aired out.  Yet because of this, I tend to miss the boat and if and when I decide it’s time to react, the time has passed and it would be inappropriate for me to bring up and address the issue again.  I don’t like to be confrontational, so I often try to express my feelings by saying things that can suggest how I really think about things.  Because of this, I often feel suppressed and, in a sense, shackled.

So, it’s not that I don’t stand up for what I believe in; I’m actually quite stubborn and adamant about the things I’m truly vested in, mentally and emotionally.  Once I do get going, I don’t like to back down and I can get very passionate in promoting my thoughts.  I’m also the type to notice a lot of details and can get primed to notice ones that annoy me more and more, which then starts to wear away at my patience.  Sometimes what it takes to get me to cross the threshold into openly expressing my opinion is just that process of getting weary of putting up with something.  At some point, I reach a level that then pushes me to release my ideas to the world.  Usually this stuff is not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, so I have learned to filter everything through a screening process to allow myself time and force myself to reason to see what doesn’t really matter in the end.  I guess giving myself the opportunity to mull things over is my own way of counting to ten.

It’s an interesting observation about myself that I always knew, but haven’t really explored (at least not lately).  Most of my frustrations stem from this tendency and I’m trying to find a way of handling it that doesn’t shortchange me and my reactions.  I hate stepping on toes though, so I tend to just get walked all over.  I’ve thought about setting a designated time to bring up these issues so I can get it out there without being in the heat of the moment, but I can’t bring myself to even get that going.  By the time I want to, I’ve convinced myself that it’s really not that big a deal and I don’t want to be petty.  Yet, time and time again it just comes back to haunt me and grate away at my nerves.  Am I undervaluing myself?  Or am I just being too observant, too anal?  I need to find more peace in my life.  A deeper sense of calm and contentment.  To an extent, I wish I was as easy-going and relaxed as Zen always appears to be.

The inevitable Mother’s Day post

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , , , , , , ,
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I like to be strange, different, unusual.  So, it’s almost too cliche to write about my love for my mother on Mother’s Day.  Not that I don’t like the idea – I certainly appreciate my mom and enjoy celebrating her role in my life!  However, it seems all to predictable to be writing about motherhood on this day.  I’m sure a good majority of the world is doing so and the blogosphere is alight with posts of a similar sentiment.  Even on Twitter, the most trending term is “Happy Mother’s Day.”  But, filial piety and maternal love win out in the end and I concede to do something all too normal and expected.  That’s my tribute to my mom, I guess.

When I ran into Marylin’s mother outside in the living room today, I made a point to wish her a Happy Mother’s Day and inquire about her plans.  I was vaguely aware of dinner plans she and Marylin had with family friends, but I wasn’t sure if it was just a normal gathering or if the holiday would be acknowledged.  I guess it was kind of just a random gathering also meant to celebrate a friend’s birthday.  So celebrate away!  Celebrate all there is to celebrate on this day.  What struck me the most though, was her initial reaction to my well wishes: “Oh, I’d forgotten all about that.”  It reminded me so much of my mother and I asked Panda if his mother is the same way too.

You see, my mom’s the type of person who doesn’t remember Mother’s Day or her birthday, or any other day out there that’s meant to celebrate her.  I have a theory that she only remembered her birthday long enough for me to be old enough to remember it for her and now it’s just a fleeting memory in her mind.  So, every year, it’s up to me to remind her that, this is your day and I’m taking you out to eat, as our family tradition goes.  Over the years we’ve ended up going to the same Asian buffet for every holiday that we celebrate together, whether it’s Mother’s or Father’s Day, Christmas, or one of our birthdays.  We don’t make a big fuss out of these things and they pass rather quietly, but I make a point of never forgetting.  It’s one of the most basic ways I can show that I care.

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Well, it turns out that not all mothers are like this and Panda’s mom quite likes to be recognized, at least in comparison with my mom.  I think I’ll be the type who won’t bring it up in the hopes that I will be remembered.  I asked Panda if he’d remember all the important days to celebrate and though he was reluctant to promise at first, in case something comes up, he eventually agreed to extend that promise to me.  After all, I realize that life gets in the way and I’m really only asking for his word that he’ll try his best, which I know he will.

So back to my wonderful mother.  Currently she and my dad are in LA again, so I hope they go out to a nice place to eat.  As the truly dedicated mom that she is, she’s helping me with my taxes and finances.  She was always the one I turned to for all things money related.  Right now she’s in a stage in her life where she isn’t sure what to do.  Before I left for Singapore, I spent my time trying to give her the confidence and hope that she needs to perhaps take a leap and go for her dreams.  After all, they were put off because she chose to take care of me fully, rather than be distracted by a job.  So now that she’s back in the work force, doing environmental consulting work with my dad, she’s looking to do more of what interests her.  And that is something in the aerospace industry, preferably along the lines of designing planes.  She feels like she’s too old and there isn’t a foothold for her to grasp in the industry.  The unfortunate thing is that employers don’t even want to consider her because she’s not as young and fresh as college graduates and she took so many years off from practicing her engineering expertise.  They don’t trust her to be as sharp and capable as she used to be, even though she has been teaching herself programs like AutoCAD and attended some courses at our community college.  How do you get people to give you a chance though?

So for now, she’s helping my dad out in his company, building up her resume again as she tries to think of how to get into Boeing or Northrup or Lockheed and the likes of them.  I fully support her and hoep that she can achieve what she wants, after all those years she gave up for me.  She gave me a privileged life growing up, with a mom who could always drop off a project I forgot to take to school with me, or drive me to the various swim and track practices and meets, or pick me up from school after all my extracurricular activities were over.  I remember when I was young I won a competition for writing about why I have the world’s best mom and I still have that essay to this day.  When I read it, it doesn’t seem all that exciting since I wrote it when I was in fifth grade, but apparently it was good for my age!

I hope everything is well with her now and I wonder where she’ll be when I return to LA.  I’m keeping a lookout for her, in case I hear of any opportunities that she may want to look into.  For now though, all I can do is be a good daughter and call her periodically to check in.  I think I really surprised her when I did that like two weeks ago.  We’re not a family built around constant contact and communication.

With that, I hope that everyone has spent some time to think about their own mothers and remember all the things they should be appreciated for.

A Bruin is Forever

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , , , ,
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ucla-dayToday was UCLA Day at my beloved university.  This whole weekend just makes me miss my college experience.  It’s only the second time that UCLA has done this, inviting alum back for exclusive tours, lectures, and gatherings to reunite with old friends and make new ones.  I really wish I was around to experience it and I can’t wait until when I am.  This year, Rachel Robinson, a UCLA grad and Jackie Robinson’s widow, was on campus to receive the UCLA Medal from Chancellor Block, for all her hard work and dedication to education.  I remember last year when they were starting the inaugural UCLA Day, banners went up all over campus and tables and stages were set up for the day.  And it’s not just this – there’s also Dance Marathon, the Festival of Books, Spring Sing, etc.

I joined the Alumni Association as a Lifetime Member when I was buying my cap and gown and diploma frame last summer.  Because of that, I have some nice UCLA memoribilia, including license plate frames, padfolios, and a mug.  I bought a fancy tassel to hang in the car and I can’t wait to continue to collect UCLA gear, adding to my vast collection of clothes, binders and folders, keychains, and even a baseball cap (though I don’t wear them).  I’m a sucker for all things UCLA and I’ll buy nearly anything with my alma mater tastefully included in the design.  I’d stop short of buying a blue and gold car with the logo on the sides though.  Otherwise, my devotion runs deep and I can’t wait to take advantage of everything as an alumna.  I’ve gotten exclusive invitations to hear Coach Howland and Neuheisel speak about next year’s seasons, special ticket access for Spring Sing, and of course, an invitation to attend UCLA Day.  There are also special discount offers and exclusive sales/coupons e-mailed to me.  This is all fine and dandy, but useless to me unless I am in the area.

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I even have this worn-out sticker on my laptop.

So, I really look forward to when I am back in LA again and I hope I can make time for all these events.  I love feeling connected to the school and I am ever so loyal.  I got a peek at Panda giving a housing tour today and it made me miss the campus so much.  I would love to give tours as well!  I wonder if there’s a part-time position that allows alum to give tours…  That would be nice.  I love more than anything to show others the beautiful campus and explain to them the history and tradition we are steeped in.  I think Orientation tours are the best, because it’s a unique experience offered only incoming freshman.  They get a special edition, hearing about the campus from an insider’s point of view.  I think I’d really enjoy giving any sort of tour though.

So, as the saying goes, “A Trojan is only good once, but a Bruin is FOREVER.”

A peculiarity

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , ,
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I didn’t know what to write for today.

I’ve been sitting here for two hours now, going through the typical internet activity that starts my day – checking e-mails, going through websites, doing some searches… all the while in the back of my mind has been a question: what should I write about in my blog today?  And as of yet, I have not been able to come up with a good answer.  So instead, I decided that I will address this peculiarity of mine.  It’s not that I don’t have topics that I want to talk about; in fact, I have a whole list of them.  I even have a couple of drafts started, waiting to be finished up and posted.  So why not use one of those brilliant ideas I currently have laying dormant?  Well, because I am very particular about how I do things.  For my blogging, that means that I must only write of things that I am “in the mood” to write about.  And currently (also unfortunately), there is nothing on that list that I am interested in exploring at the moment.

cat-brushing-teeth

photo credit: wendy usually wanders

It’s not exactly writer’s block, though I guess you could consider it a breed of it, if you must.  I have also noticed, as I typed this, that my pinky finger on my right hand gets very little action.  In fact, I’m not sure I really use it for more than the occasional apostrophe, colon, semi-colon, quotation mark, question mark, or entering.  (Which means I’ve used it a total of fifteen times in this post so far.)  I use my fourth finger to backspace purely because it is longer and I have to move my hand less to reach it.  I also know that I tend to use my right thumb to press the spacebar.  When I tried to switch to my left thumb, my typing slowed significantly.  This could be a good exercise for my dexterity and force me to use the other side of my brain more.  I have always been slightly ambidexterous, using different hands for different things – my right hand writes and draws, my left hand colors; my right hand uses chopsticks and knives, my left hand uses spoons and forks; both hands throw balls about the same; I bat left-handed and kick right-footed; I brush my teeth and hair with my left hand; I text with my right hand.

photo credit: adirondack guitar

photo credit: adirondack guitar

I am a big fan of symmetry (except in artistic cases), so I’m always trying to use the other hand for these tasks, but I think that my toothbrushing is not as effective with my weaker right hand.  I’ve also had some trouble slinging my purse over my left shoulder, which somehow does not seem to know how to support it quite as well as my right shoulder.  As with all things though, I suppose it just comes down to practice and habit.  So I’m slowly working to make left-handed spacebar-ing and right-handed brushing more common in my life.  I also considered learning the guitar, but left-handed ones are hard to find and I think I’d be more comfortable with that kind, rather than a standard one.  The significance of a simple flip flop like that can be greater than people may expect, as I was surprised to find when I was reading the Emergenetics text and found this on page 10:

“Before you begin to read, you can boost your brain activity with two simple exercises.  These will help you stay alert, understand what you are reading, and remember it longer.

1. Cross-Crawls.  With your right hand, touch your left ankle.  Now with yourleft hand, touch your right ankle.  This is most effective done standing up, but it works sitting down, too.  This exercise is thought to integrate the right and left hemispheres of your brain.  And by clearing the potassium and sodium that builds up in your brain when you concentrate, it will help you read faster and comprehend more.

2. Crazy Eights.  Make big “eights” horizontally in the air with your right hand.  Without moving your head, follow your thumb with your eyes.  Make the eights as big as your peripheral vision will allow.  Now do the same thing with your left hand.  This may help integrate both sides of your body.”

So there you go.  My stream of consciousness.

Lovesac

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , , , , ,
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lovesac logoNearly seven years ago, not too long after I had moved to California, I discovered a shop in the mall that I’ve never forgotten.  It was a cozy-looking place, with cushy Lovesacs strewn around the room and a couple of TVs positioned throughout.  Lovesac?  What’s a Lovesac, you ask?  Well, first picture what a beanbag looks like.  Then take that image and imagine something that feels so soft yet still firm and supportive.  Whereas traditional beanbags are filled with random little balls or, literally, beans, Lovesacs are stuffed full of foam – Durafoam, to be exact.  It’s designed to never go flat and a quick fluffing can plump out any Sac that has started to mold to your body from too much lounging!

So in my local mall, there was a Lovesac store, where people would go in just to chill and rest up.  It was a very relaxed atmosphere and Katana and I would find our way there whenever we were at the mall.  The Sacs are the most comfortable fluffs of foam to lay or sit on and they fit anything, from your pet to at least three adults.  They also come with a variety of accessories, including SodaSacs for having drinks handy as you sprawl on your Sac, or sactionaleven TubeSacs for those who want some pillowed neck support.  There’s a whole line of removeable covers as well, with textures like Twill, MicroSuede, Velvish, and Phur.  Colors and designs also allow people to customize to their heart’s desire, from the basic solid earthy shades to the custom order fabrics of different patterns.  Their newer products include an oversized PillowSac that can be used in a multitude of ways and an ottoman doubling as a seat or footrest.  And most recently, they’ve come out with Sactionals for any sort of sectional combination you can come up with.

I’ve had my eye on the SuperSac for awhile now, with its six-foot diameter that comfortably fits two people.  It’s so big that it can fit “3 adults or 14 kids” as the description touts and weighs about 70 lbs.  In high school, I dreamt of the day when I would have my own apartment and could buy myself one of these to be used as a couch, bed, and chair.  I would just need a lap table and it could be used as a desk too!  Alas, about two years ago I was just checking up on the LoveSac of my choice when I found shocking news – LoveSac was no more!  I was devastated and regretted not buying them before they disappeared from the face of this planet.  Then this summer, purely by lovesacserendipity, I ran into my friend walking in the hallway with one of his friends and that guy had on a LoveSac shirt!

It turns out that this friend’s friend works for one of the LoveSac shops that has since reopened.  They are much more dispersed now, with only two stores in California, but I’m so happy they’re up and running again!  I immediately went to the website to see what had changed (and hopefully find that what I wanted hadn’t changed).  There’s no longer a pre-starter page that assures visitors that this is not a pornographic or otherwise inappropriate site.  Some of their smaller sizes seem to have gotten a facelift, with names like GamerSac and MovieSac.  They expanded the type of alternative furniture they offer and changed the logo, but other than that it was (thankfully) still the same company I had been obsessed with so many years ago.  I was relieved to find they were back in business and excited to figure out when I could get one for myself.

As of yet I still don’t know when I’ll be able to settle down enough to get one, but I’m hoping within the next year.  🙂

Self-taught

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , , , , ,
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There are many skills I have learned throughout my life and plenty of them have been acquired of my own volition.  One of these skills has been (basic) coding.   Back when I was in my “tweens,” I taught myself how to use HTML to create my own websites.  I spent hours upon hours in front of the computer, typing away with various <> tags, making all kinds of nonsense sites that I don’t remember anymore.  Those were the days of GeoCities, Angelfire, and the like and I doubt anything useful or interesting was ever posted.  I was just happy to be given a blank slate and a simple box to type up my HTML.  So off I went, happily coding away.  I remember I used to sit in front of the computer for hours at a time, even pulling some all-nighters, as I browsed the internet learning about hex codes and how scrolling doesn’t show up on all browsers.  I always had a gigantic bag of Chex Mix with me to snack on through the night and my blanket wrapped around me for warmth and comfort as I curled up on the chair.

My first LiveJournal.

My first LiveJournal.

As the years went by, such simplistic websites lost their charm and I eventually left them to the wayside.  A few years down the line, I picked up blogging, which hardly required more than centering, bolding, linking, and inserting pictures.  It was very easy to remember the few commands I needed to do everything I needed.  All the other stuff was taken care of for me.  As that picked up, I became more and more interested in customizing my blog for my own needs.  At first I could still plug and chug – many themes were customizable to a certain extent, allowing me to upload my own banner or change the font.  However, to really delve into the design elements that I wanted to control, I now needed to use CSS to create the look I wanted.  I have never quite learned that more sophisticated programming language, so I took it upon myself to discover its workings.  Instead of grabbing a book or reading a tutorial, I just took the codes that had been created as themes already and began tweaking them to fit my desires.  Initially that worked out just fine – all I wanted was a bit of a change in width here, a different look to my link there.  But of course, things don’t always stay so elementary.  My needs developed more and more and what I knew simply wasn’t enough.

The way that I have been learning and teaching myself requires a lot of trial and error.  It’s much like learning the vocabulary of a language similar to one you know already, but then not really understanding the more complicated grammar.  And to make the right effect, you need those complicated sentence structures!  So I’ve hit a bit of a rut where I should probably take the time and effort to start from the beginning and learn all the ins and outs of this language, but I don’t have the patience for it.  As frustrating as it is, I still much enjoy pounding away at the script I have currently, changing and refining things as I go.  My stubbornness keeps me doggedly pursuing this path, even if it’s not the most efficient.

The first theme I was working with.

The first theme I was working with.

To me, there’s a certain pleasure to be found in finally getting the right change accomplished this way.  When I get into the process, I really get into it and hours fly by as I try adjusting a number here or reconfiguring a command there.  It’s one of the few times I feel like I’m in a “zone” and truly wholeheartedly focused on something.  I’m the type of person who tends to like to dabble in a lot of things and jump around from project to project, getting a little done here, a little done there.  Every now and then, I find one of the few things that just grabs my attention and keeps me there.  Granted, it does depend on when my whims come and go, and how long this phase lasts, but while it’s here it’s strong and pervasive.  I put up my do not disturb face and go at it until my body is begging for a break or I have an obligation to fulfill.

Tonight, I hit one of those strides, where I just kept fiddling with one of the themes.  I’ve tried and considered a handful of themes so far, but I’m quite picky when it comes to how I want it to look: customizable banner, adjustable width, round and curvy font, two columns

What I'm settling on for now.

What I'm settling on for now.

only.  The color scheme has to be right as well and I tend not to like any of the extremely graphical backgrounds I’ve seen.  That narrows it down to pretty much no option, so I’ve had to make do with what I’ve found and figure out how to work with it.  I won’t ever be completely satisfied until I learn how to make a theme from scratch or I get someone who knows what they’re doing to create something with all my specifications.  Somewhere down the line I’ll be looking for a complete makeover of my blog interface.  I’ve got some friends who are good at this, so perhaps one of them will have the time to create something for me one day.  Until then… you may find that this theme will switch back and forth as I find ways to edit in what I do want and edit out what I don’t want from the templates I’m using.

Bookworm at heart

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , , , ,
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I’ve been reading Emergenetics: Tap Into the New Science of Success lately and I’ve rediscovered the nerd inside.  Ever since I was a kid, I loved to read.  From when I first learned how to read until I was nearly 13, nothing else took up more of my time.  I’d wake up and read on the walk to the bus stop, read on the bus ride to school, read while walking to and from classes, read while eating my meals, and even attempted reading in the shower a few times (they always ended up as baths).  Every week my mom would drive me to the library

Ah, that's what it was!  Book it!

Ah, that's what it was! Book it!

and I’d tote home about 30 books to read for that week.  In fifth grade, my teacher had us keep a log and the first time I turned it in, she stared at it in disbelief before calling my parents to have them verify that yes, I did nothing else with my life but read.  I remember I did very well for reading clubs back then – what was that Pizza Hut reward program again?  And of course, my favorite event of the year was when the Scholastic Book Fair would come rolling around.  It was the most exciting and anticipated thing for me – to be able to browse shelves of books, peruse tons of offers for monthly subscriptions (did anyone else order the Goosebumps series?), and check out all the random other items that came along (like those science kits, bookmarks, and journals!).  Ah, it was a dream come true for me.

Good old R.L. Stine and his crazy creations!

Good old R.L. Stine and his crazy creations!

It was at a book fair in 4th grade that I came across a light purple diary with an adorable grey kitten on it.  I begged my dad to get it for me (seeing as I had no money back then and my allowance was just whatever I needed).  He agreed, on the condition that I promise to write in it every day.  And thus began my long journey with keeping a journal.  As promised, I wrote in my journal every day, whether or not it was anything interesting.  I tried a variety of styles over the years, from using Chinese to titling each day in French to bullet-point lists.  Time and time again, my parents would find me holed away in my room, scribbling away at my journal and each time they’d ask me, “Oh you’re actually still doing that?”  Well, I made a promise!  As time wore on, I got busier and didn’t always have time to write every day, so I started to write notes for my journal and then catch up in it periodically.  This ranged from a few days to a few weeks.  Then, a couple of months ago (wow, nearly a year now), I got SO distracted with being an Orientation Counselor at UCLA that I haven’t been able to catch up since.  I am now months behind on writing and even a few weeks behind on my notes, but I have every intention of writing an entry for each of those days.  Thankfully, I am great at stalking myself (I like to think of it as being resourceful), so I can piece together most of the pieces through the IM conversations I had, the e-mails I sent, the text messages I used, and of course, the blog entries I wrote.

My love for all things “booky” didn’t stop there.  I love all sorts of office supplies, if you will, ranging from pens and notebooks to staples and superglue.  Of course, I love books and bookmarks, but really I can spend my life in a Staples and never get bored.  Highlighters,

I loved collecting these.

I loved collecting these.

erasers, rulers, protractors, you name it, I love it.  I’m an absolute junkie when it comes to that stuff.  I don’t know if it’s related to my insane bookworm tendencies from my childhood, but it seems correlated at the least.  So, throughout the years (and volumes upon volumes of journals now), I experimented with an assortment of pens, pencils, markers, and even Sharpies in filling up my journal pages.  I’ve settled for a certain format as of late, which I think started a few years ago.  I guess I’ve come to a point in my life where I’m comfortable with how I do it.  I still make small changes and tweak a little here and there, but overall it’s just about the same and exactly how I like it.

I’ve gotten to get back in touch with that old side of me that always had her nose buried in a book and it feels good.  I love to read, whether it’s books, magazines, blogs, e-mails, or online articles.  I have always done a lot of reading and writing, whether for pleasure or for school, and I’m sure my love of researching has to do with this obsession.  When I was in first or second grade, my neighbors gave me their set of encyclopedias and stacks of National Geographic Magazines, which totally made my day.  Although the medium has mostly changed from hard copies to soft copies, I’m still doing the same thing.  However, nothing can beat the beauty of a book.  The feel, the smell, the look – it’s all so attractive to me.  Plus, I can bring it around with me anywhere and read while sipping tea in a cafe or after I’ve climbed a tree perched on a mountain.  That’s also what I love about my journals.  I really enjoy going out alone, finding somewhere peaceful (which may or may not be a public spot), plopping myself down in a nice spot, and reading or writing the day away.  Oh the luxury of free time!

I’m glad I’m getting back into pleasure reading.  I barely did so in my years of high school and college, which totaled nearly a decade!  That is far too long to be away from my precious books.  My preference for content has changed from whimsical fiction stories to more popular science and things I can use in my life, so not only am I getting in touch with my past and particpating in a great hobby, I’m also learning and growing so much!  Not to say you don’t learn and grow from fiction, but sometimes the lessons and uses are less apparent and not immediately applicable the way that they are in the non-fiction genre.  So, onward with my current book!  Synopsis to come.

Swimmer’s high

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , , , ,
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I finally made it to the pool again after months of inactivity.  Though it felt awkward to try to work out in a bikini (pity I didn’t bring my competition gear with me), I managed to still get some decent exercise in.  I’m so used to the comfort of a one-piece suit, cap, and goggles that I didn’t exactly know what to do with myself without.  I figured I could just tread water and do some endurance exercises that way, so I started off just doing a casual freestyle kick, keeping my chin just above the water.  After awhile, that got boring, so I curled up my knees and tread with just my hands.  From there, I did variations of strokes, from a breaststroke with my head above the water to doing some freestyle kick drills on my sides.  Every time I get in the water I’m tempted to do the butterfly, which is my favorite stroke, but alas, in a suit like mine today, I was in great danger of losing my top half that way.  So instead, I satisfied myself with some simple exercises that may not raise my heart rate a great deal, but certainly required a certain amount of strength and endurance.

By the time I got out, I felt great.  My face was flushed and my heart rate had increased.  That’s one of my favorite parts of working out – getting to that flushed stage where you know you’ve pushed your body beyond its normal resting state.  I felt so at peace that I began to wonder if there’s such a thing as a swimmer’s high.  It seems pretty commonly recognized that there’s a runner’s high, but does the same go for swimming?  I have not been able to find anything online to back me up, but there’s a certain feeling that I get when I’m doing the fly and everything is in sync.  You get into a rhythm and inertia kicks in.  It’s almost harder to stop that flow of action than to continue on with it.  Unfortunately, the pool can only be so long and that stroke tends to be very taxing on the body, so at some point gravity’s influence becomes more apparent and it slows things down.  But for those couple of beautiful seconds, everything just feels so right.

If there was such a thing as a swimmer’s high, it could only really be achieved in freestyle (at least that’s how I feel).  Fly is too demanding, breast is too technical, and backstroke is too disruptive.  I’m not saying it’s not possible, but from what I understand, it should last quite a long time and for any of the other strokes, it’d be more difficult to accomplish.  To start off with, people tend to swim proper strokes in a pool, which of course requires flip-turns every couple of seconds.  That in itself, though integrated into the process, can be disruptive.  Runners can get themselves to move to a beat and maintain that for virtually as long as they want.  Swimmers must pause their rhythm to add in the occasional glide, flip, push-off, kick-off, and resurfacing.  In open water swimming, this phenomenon might be easier.  At least for freestyle, the stroke motion going into a flip-turn is similar to what you are already doing.  Maybe it’s just the way I swim, but I think it’d be easiest to get into a groove with freestyle.

I miss the lull of the water, the smell of the chlorine, and the whole atmosphere surrounding training and competition.  From wearing swim parkas and Uggs around the pool to helping be the counter for those swimming the 500 free, I really enjoyed being on swim teams.  I liked how it felt to have the water rushing by me and bubbles flowing around.  I loved playing with Sammies (those super absorbant towels) and the beauty of a perfectly executed backstroke start.  I enjoyed practicing my dives and finishes, especially when there was a touchpad present!  I liked how professional I felt when I wore a drag suit for added resistance in training.  I even had a blast at the swim camps at Mt. Holyoke, where we did dryland circuits until I could barely move, then hopped in the water for more working out.  It was a lifestyle that I will always miss, just like my track and field days and my military training days.

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Back when I was a sophomore in high school, I got invited to go to Australia with other swimmers from around the country, to compete against some of the swimmers down under.  This was with the International Sports Specialists, Inc. who run Down Under Sports.  It was an awesome time, from the places that we went (Sydney, Gold Coast, and then Waikiki Beach in Hawaii) and the people we met (these guys who were there playing soccer took us around).  I don’t remember much of the meet, except that Aussies are freaking fast and we couldn’t beat them, but we had a great time and it was a great bonding experience.  I used to have a t-shirt with all the people from the New York team on it, but I lost it long ago.  I also managed to misplace the sweatshirt I bought from them, as well as the Bond University one that we girls decided to get when we went there for a visit.  It’s a pity – those were great memories of an unparalleled two weeks.

down under sports, international sports specialists

I have always had a pleasant experience with the water, from my childhood splashing around in pools to middle school when I first learned the four strokes to high school where I helped start the swim team at Brewster High School and finally when I competed on the varsity team at Valencia High School.  Though I got a late start, learning stroke techniques when I was thirteen, I wasn’t too far behind and always managed to be good enough for varsity level, even if I wasn’t a star in that realm.  Nowadays, without a team to practice with and keep me motivated, it’s hard to complete a workout like I used to.  Once I settle down somewhere, I’d like to make sure I visit the pool frequently, even if I don’t do a real workout.  Perhaps one day I can join a club or something, just to get back into it.  For now it will just be my therapeutic experience; something I can always count on to make me feel better.

Retreating to nature

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , , , , ,
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I spent the day off exploring the Singapore Botanic Gardens, getting a chance to escape from the city for a few hours.  When I first entered, it looked like a public park of sorts, with fields dotted with trees and an asphalt path for people to walk, run, or rollerblade along.  Following the path deeper into the grounds took me to Swan Lake, where there were a couple of swans swimming around languidly.  A few were being fed various bread and cracker type substances, surrounded by hungry koi and curious turtles.  It was the cutest thing I’ve seen – three different species all swimming around each other peacefully.  I made my way around the entire pond before continuing along the path.  On the side with the grassy knoll and speckling of trees, dozens of families and friends were having picnics and otherwise enjoying the pleasant day.

Turtle in the top left area, fish in the bottom area, and the swan you can't miss.

Turtle in the top left area, fish in the bottom area, and the swan you can't miss.

That fish was not shy.

That fish was not shy.

I followed the signs to the Ginger Garden, where there was this cool waterfall with a little cave area behind that people could pass through.  I saw a family taking pictures of themselves behind the waterfall and wanted to do the same, but alas, I didn’t want to elicit outside help.  I also imaged taking a fun jumping shot in front of it, but that’s something I’d do if I was with a friend.  Not everyone can get the timing right and I don’t know how strangers would feel about trying to capture such a shot.  So, in my mind’s eye I took a note of how I would do things if only I had Panda with me and moseyed along.  I then reached the National Orchid Garden, where I got myself a ticket to enter.  I spent the next hour wandering up and down, in an out of their paths.  I don’t know how many species of orchids I saw, but some were curious-looking, some were gorgeous, some had strange patterns, some were plain, some were large, some were small, and all were cool to look at.

Some of the interesting things I saw…
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pale pink orchids
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If only I could find some Venus flytraps too!

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And so many more! Look out for a photo album on Facebook.

I took countless photos and rediscovered some things that I want – Venus flytraps (though I couldn’t find any, there were plenty of pitcher plants that reminded me of my desire for a certain carnivorous plant!), tadpoles (I had one once, but dropped it and when I went to pick it up I squished it 🙁 – oops), and a water fountain (there was this cool one that looked like a cluster of plants).  On my way out, I wandered around the gift shop, contemplating things I might want to buy and ended up deciding to just get these small little rings.  I can’t figure out what material they are made from, but a lot of Chinese bracelets resemble this.  These, of course, are merely cheap imitations.  I have a bracelet that’s legit though and it’s quite cool – it’s made of some sort of stone and metal.

If only I could find some Venus flytraps too!

If only I could find some Venus flytraps too!

I was sooo tempted to try to bring some with me.  :(

I was sooo tempted to try to bring some with me. 🙁

Plant?  Nope, water fountain!

Plant? Nope, water fountain!

And finally, the rings.

And finally, the rings.

From there, is was then power walking for the next two hours, going through the patch of rainforest, Evolution Garden, Eco Garden, checking out Au Jardin (a French restaurant, as it turned out), and heading back to the waaay other end of gardens to exit again.  I got a bit disoriented a few times and made a few detours to some of the other attractions on my way back, including a gazebo, some desert plants, and lily ponds.  It was around 8 PM by then and I was ravenous, so all I could think about was getting to food.  I quickly made my escape and hopped on a bus to Orchard Road, but I tried to find this Din Tai Fung that I could see in my mind’s eye, but for the life of me couldn’t find in real life.  The front desk at Takashimaya shopping center was useless, so I wandered around, through a fashion show and a drummer circle.  Eventually I ended up at the bus stop that would take me back, so I got on and stopped along the way at Holland Village to have dinner at the Crystal Jade there.

What a day out!  I was drained from all the brisk walking, but it was so nice to see so much greenery, so many beautiful flowers, and so many creatures!  I really do love to retreat to nature whenever I can.  It clears my mind and calms me down.

Feline adoration

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , , , , , , ,
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I have, as long as I can remember, always loved cats.  I like animals of all sorts, but felines are certainly my favorite out of the bunch.  Perhaps it’s because much of my behavior is like theirs, so I feel a connection.  Last night I ran into a plump kitty lounging around outside on my walk home.  Being the first time that I had come across a cat and I wasn’t headed anywhere or with anyone, I decided to stop to pet it.  I couldn’t tell if it was a boy or a girl, but it certainly enjoyed my stroking and scratching.  I was reaching out pretty far, so I tried to shift to move closer, but that scared it a few feet away.  I considered trying to approach it again, but it takes some time for cats to trust you, so I decided that was enough for the night and headed back.  As I made my way back to Marylin’s, I thought of my beloved cats and how sad I am to not have them anymore.

The first cat I ever had got some sort of disease and had up to 90% of her lungs filling up with fluid before we found out and put her down.  That was the first time my dad and I cried together.  Actually, that’s the only time I can remember.  The second one we got had the longest life of them all and got sick recently, dying just on or past Christmas day 2008.  He was in China and my parents and I were in Cancun for the break.  I wish he could have held out for my dad to get back to him.  Then the third one we had just disappeared one day almost six years ago.  My mom is convinced that the coyotes or owls in the neighborhood caught him.  He was always a rambunctious one, so I wouldn’t be surprised if he ventured too far.  We’ll never really know what happened to him, but I can always hope that someone took him in and he’s happily squeezing himself into their sinks for his naps now.

This is Jerriey, our second kitty, curled up on my favorite blanket.

Lately cats have been on my mind a lot because one of Panda and my friends got herself a little kitten that was found on site for a Habitat for Humanity project.  That reminded me of the three other times I have come across cats that I really wanted to adopt.  First was a little black kitten we found at a club in the Echo Park area.  It was my first day on site for the filming of Wristcutters: A Love Story and this little guy was found hanging out in the back area

Little Echo.

Little Echo.

where the crew hung out as we waited through shots.  I named her Echo (I think the club was named that too) and gave her a lot of attention.  In fact, I even managed to convince the club owner to adopt her, since I couldn’t.  Next was a pair of kittens, brought to us on Wilshire Boulevard.  Katana and I were just walking along in Westwood when this kid comes running up to us and asks if we’d like to adopt kittens.  We looked at each other with those yearning eyes.  In our hearts, we really wanted to.  In our minds, we knew we couldn’t.  So, we only glimpsed the kittens he held in his hands, swaddled in his clothing before we sadly had to say no.  We watched as he ran down Westwood Boulevard and talked about how we could make it work.  Then, in the spur of a moment, we decided to go with our hearts and take them.  We went after the boy, but didn’t know where he had gone.  I looked to my left and noticed a pet store, so we went in.  The boy had just handed over the pair and when we tried to take them now, the store owner said she’d have to take them in for various shots and clean them up before we could come back to adopt them.  Sigh.  In the weeks after, we thought long and hard about how we could do this, even thinking we’d name them Boba and Udon (one was black and one was grey).  Unfortunately, practicality won out in the end and we never did go back for them.  Finally, the third came when I was volunteering at a cat home.  A tiny grey kitten was confined in a box with a plastic facing so we could see.  She was held there because she was still being treated after being rescued from Hurricane Katrina and,

Miss Katrina.

Miss Katrina.

consequently she was named Katrina.  I loved that little cat from the seconds we got to spend with her before turning our attention to the cats we could interact with.  Just the way she cocked her head when she looked at us was adorable enough for me to want her.  Unfortunately, I was still in school at the time and my dad had left the country, so it was just my mom taking care of the one cat we still had.  But I wanted a kitten to raise myself.

This is a dream I’ve held for years and years, ever since I got to carry little Jerriey home from the shelter, so cute and loveable.  He spent the whole time purring, which is what won me over.  I have mentioned this desire many a time and though he started off first not comfortable with the idea, he is now more open to it.  Granted, we had to have a whole hullabaloo of a… discussion over it, but he’s willing to consider it at least.  To me, having a cat is almost more important than having kids.  Not only are they nice to cuddle up with, their purring is good for your health.  They are very independent and don’t require much attention or care, which is how I live my life.  They train very easily, from going to use the litter box when nature calls to coming to eat dinner with the banging out a plate.  I also like to crawl into small spaces and squeeze myself into strange positions to sleep.  And come on, there’s a reason we call it the “catwalk” – they’re beautiful and graceful creatures!  Cats are highly misunderstood animals.  People take their independence for aloofness, much as they do with me.  And I think that is why I defend and adore them so much.  I’m misunderstood too.

Our friend's new kitten, isn't she precious?!

Our friend's new kitten, isn't she precious?!

Well, my dream of owning a cat is still very far off, sadly.  I have to wait until I’m settled enough to keep one with me.  I have to make sure I have the funds to buy all the food, litter, and catsitting services I would need to take care of it.  Thankfully, they love very simple little toys, so just a little catnip and some string or crumpled newspaper can do the trick.  Once I feel like I have the resources and capabilities to finally care for a cat of my own, I hope Panda will be ready to have one too (or maybe more).  He doesn’t even need to do a thing.  I’ll buy everything, scoop the kitty litter, feed them, play with them, and arrange for their care when/if we are away.  All he has to do is let me have one.  For now, he has agreed to catsit our friend’s kitten if she ever needs us to and we will go visit her after I get back.  I hope he likes that experience so he’ll be willing to have one of our own.

Back in high school Katana and I would joke about how we’d grow old and have properties next to each other, each with certain natural formations that we want (like a waterfall for me), and we’d both have houses full of cats.  (This was back when we imagined ourselves as old maids, never having been able to truly settle down.  I guess it could still work with men in our lives, as long as they allowed all the cats.)  At night, we’d both go out and sit on our rocking chairs on our porches to enjoy the nightfall, either knitting or petting a cat.  We’d have our houses close enough that we could see each other, but our property large enough for ponds and creeks and forests and whatnot.  I think it’d be great if we do end up that way.  Yup, we have all the makings ofbecoming crazy cat ladies.

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