Posts Tagged ‘singapore’

Doing what feels right

laelene Posted in general blog，Tags: , ,
24 March 2009
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My decision to come to Singapore was largely based on feeling.  It seems that I am allowing my intuition to guide me far more than I ever allowed before.  I don’t know if this is my quarter-life crisis, the result of maturing, or just a random epiphany, but it is becoming more pervasive in everything I do.  Perhaps in growing up and learning to open your mind to things, you also learn how to trust your instincts.  Maybe there really is something to your gut instincts.  Whatever the case, I have been paying more attention to what my heart tells me over what my head may want to say.  And you know what?  It feels good.

I’ve always been one to sit and think.  Absorb, analyze, reanalyze, compile, calculate, and then react.  It’s a slow, sometimes excruciating process and I’ve been telling people lately that that is the type of person I am.  Well, it’s true – I will not give you an instant answer and go full steam ahead.  I may have an initial reaction, but that is by no means my actual response in the end (though it will probably be an exaggerated version of it).  Sometimes it can be frustrating for those who are impatient or tend to take the smallest of signals and take that to be the indicator of consent or dissent.

Though I still need time to really think about what to say about things, I am embracing more of the "go do it" attitude, from taking the risk of starting work in a foreign country to buying things because it feels right.  I can’t quite let go of my old tried and true habit of taking the time to consider all the angles of an issue, but I tend to have a gut feeling from the get-go that tells me what I will end up deciding anyway.  Nevertheless, to justify it to myself, I still need to spend the time to think it over and really make sure that what I want is what I should do.

I like to be cautious in the sense that I can defend my decisions.  I don’t like to be rash or irresponsible.  But, I also do like to take certain risks that can be both exciting and door-opening.  You never know if you don’t try, right?  So I might as well give it a go and see where it takes me (with some back-up plans ready, of course).

Pervasive American culture

laelene Posted in general blog，Tags: , , ,
18 March 2009
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Talk about a powerhouse.  I am constantly surprised at all the speeches that I hear overseas that include references to America this, America that.  I mean, I know that American culture is infecting other countries, but in every area, from social to political to scientific, I am reminded again and again just how effectively this seems to be occurring.  Ok, so they watch American TV dramas and movies, fair enough.  Hollywood is the mecca for the entertainment industry after all.  But must it also be mentioned when referencing research, political philosophies, or economic analyses?  (I’m not talking about the current economy "crisis" here – I can understand how talk of that can stem from the states.)

This happened yesterday at the 30th Annual Speak Mandarin Campaign that I was given the chance to attend.  The Minister Mentor (aka big shot of Singapore) was there as the guest of honor to deliver a speech encouraging Sinagporeans to continue to embrace the Mandarin language and master it as they have English.  In his speech, he referenced some research done in the states and that got me thinking about how I’ve never gone to an event that didn’t mention something from America.  Likewise, even my lectures in England contained US material!  What a strange phenomenon.  Here I thought I was getting away from all that and had to learn to adjust and relearn.

From my perspective, it’s interesting to hear about these issues and listen to what other nations have to say about my "home" country.  Sometimes (actually, a lot of the times), Americans are contained within their little bubble that it’s shocking and eye-opening to see things from another angle, hear another voice.  Though I generally associate myself with the US and think of myself as American (well, Chinese-American), there are times when I feel rather detached from it all.  In the end though, the country has given me a lot of great opportunities and provided a life for my parents and I that would not have been possible anywhere else (as far as I know, anyway).

Whether good or bad, I like to hear news about the states.  I feel more connected to it when it is talked about by non-residents, possibly because I cannot always identify with how they feel.  Everyone seems to have their opinion on the US, from dumbfounded admiration to unbridled disgust.  For me, it’s a matter of this journey of learning more about how the country I grew up in and the culture I grew up with fits into the world.  I tend to be more on the self-righteous side just because I have a certain level of patriotism for the country that may not have been perfect, but certainly has been good to me.

I think a lot of the viewpoints we hold are due to the way we choose to interpret things.  Some people may be offended by things that others find hilarious or just not a big deal.  Meanwhile, others may be greatly affected by things that others don’t pay attention to.  And though I have faced my own challenges and hardships, I am still so much more lucky than most of this world.  Now I do think it’s kind of cool that so many American references are made, but I hope that that is not corrupting the beauty of other cultures.  After all, how boring would the world be with everyone doing things the same way, believing the same ideas, and liking the same things?

Change at the drop of a dime

laelene Posted in general blog，Tags: , ,
09 March 2009
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It never ceases to amaze me how my life has taken some very unexpected turns in the past couple of months.  Somehow I went from my ten year plan to flying out to Singapore to work with one of my closest friends and "British" twin of sorts.  Now I’m in a foreign country in a region of the world that has always been a mystery to me and I’m trying to come to terms with how it at once reminds me very much of my Chinese roots and British immersion, yet still doesn’t resemble either of those countries.

Does that even make sense?  I feel like I’m connecting with Chinese culture through the references and occasional Mandarin spoken here.  Along with that, the British-sounding English accents I hear when I’m conversing in English is reminiscent of my time in York.  Yet, somehow the food is unique though it is similar to what I had in China.  The language is still different and unique to this country.  My mind is all a jumble.  Things are so different, yet so many little things remind me of this or that.

Well, to add to all that sensory excitement, Marylin and I had our first weekly meeting/debriefing with "the bosses" today and some more new exciting opportunities came up.  I’m very open to all the possibilities we have available to us, so I was definitely interested and excited, but I’m also a relatively cautious person, or I at least need to mull things over and really digest it.  I love to analyze things from every angle (so I can usually sympathize with people of all opinions) and it takes time to process things.

So what did we discuss?  A chance to take on a project set to take place in a year in China.  It’s a huge event that will be great experience, exposure, and networking for us.  It will also put our Mandarin skills into practice and teach us more about another Asian country.  Since it will be held in Beijing, I can also be near my parents (if only for a few days) and back in my home country.  So, in theory it sounds great, right?

Well, that was my first impression too.  But later on the analytical filter started to grind and it finally started to hit me – this would mean potentially staying in Singapore for a good year and a half, two years.  Yikes!  With that kind of prolonged stay, Marylin and I would have to look into finding our own place to live, since it would not be nice to impose on her parents for too long.  I’d also have to figure out how to extend my visa, look into getting a bank account, perhaps sign up for a contract phone, etc… you can see there’s a lot of things involved in a semi-permanent relocation.

But let’s not get ahead of ourselves.  There are also so many things to consider first, before I even decide I want to go forth with this!  Marylin and I need to meet with a very important person first, to see if we are suitable for this job and how we get along with him.  I’d need to talk to Panda and my parents to see how they react to the idea.  It’s also rather early on and I don’t know how well I will assimilate into this culture.  The people are great and I’m being fed well, but it’s not stuff I’m used to and I don’t know if I will get homesick once things start to settle down more.

This first week has just been hectic with all the information overload I’ve been experiencing.  Today was the first time that I was sitting there, getting work done and really feeling like part of the team.  Up until now I’ve largely been observing and shadowing, which I will still do a lot of as I try to find my place within this group and carve my own spot.  So really what I’d like to do is work on this project until September, then go back to LA and work from there for a period of time.  After that, I can either return here to continue my work or head over to China to work from there until the event is over.  Of course, that is just ideal, so I’ll be flexible with what I’m willing to do.

One thing I do know is that I won’t deal with being away from Panda as well as Marylin has dealt with being away from her boyfriend.  Currently it’s also more of a strain because there is no internet connected in the new office just yet and with my long days, the only time I can catch Panda online is my afternoons.  I haven’t properly chatted with him since I’ve gotten here and though a week doesn’t sound that long, it has felt like a month.  I’m a bit needy when it comes to talking to him.  It’s too easy to miss him.

So, time and time again I have found myself at these crazy crossroads, with so many paths branching in so many directions I start to get confused.  It will take a little time to sort it all out (and by then the next confusing choice will be upon me, haha).  Such is life.

Close proximity

laelene Posted in general blog，Tags: , ,
08 March 2009
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One thing I am really enjoying about living and working with Marylin is all the great conversations we’ve been having.  From work related musings to discussions about life’s various issues, there’s an endless array of topics for us to cover.  We have similar enough interests to have a lot to talk about, but we’re not clones, so we do have differing opinions to share.  Sometimes I am still amazed at how similar we are (yet how slightly different we can be too).  I honestly feel like she and I were twins separated at birth, naturally inclined to the same things, but taught and raised differently and thus diverging in certain opinions.  It makes me wonder if having a sibling near your age who you are close to feels like this, but somewhat opposite, with natural inclinations differing, but the common upbringing bridging the gap.  Whatever it is like, I appreciate the time we’ve had together and the discourse we’ve shared.

It’s refreshing to be around someone so much and really get to know about them.  We’ve both joked about how we are going to get sick of each other, which has yet to come, but I’m glad we acknowledge that we may drive each other crazy sometimes.  I’m getting a great feel for how she prefers to do things and how I prefer to do things and how we can compliment each other as a team.  This will be important for our future plans as partners!  That way we can play off our strengths and weaknesses to our maximum benefit.  We have agreed it’s important to keep the lines of communication open and really learn to work with each other, providing feedback as needed.  I definitely believe that honesty (tactfully expressed) will prevent a lot of conflict and keep things going smoothly.

Even though we may physically be around each other all the time, I still get a lot of time to interact with the others in the office and be in my own little world when I’m on the computer.  It’s nice to have this time to grow on my own, separate from her, but also have her right there in case I need to discuss something or bring something up.  It will definitely get more challenging as I get more work to do and we’re both working hard to get things done.  I’d like to branch off a little and work on projects that she is not on so we can expand our knowledge base.  The more areas we can gain experience in the better it will prepare us for striking out on our own in LA someday.  Plus, that way I get a sense of individuality beyond that of just being the American version of her.  😛

For now though, I will be her shadow professionally and socially, since I don’t know my way around the country, don’t really know any people, don’t fully understand the culture, and don’t even have a phone to use so I can’t wander off on my own!  It’s a running joke between us that I can’t hurt or offend her or else I won’t have a place to stay, haha.  But hey, I could just take her place…  😉  At the moment it’s taking so much energy to absorb everything that I haven’t exhibited much of my wacky self.  I wonder if I’m even still that crazy anymore, after Panda’s calming influence on me.  Well, at the least I’m still really quirky and odd, which can be entertaining in its own right, whether or not I’m as verbose and expressive as I used to be.

Singlish

laelene Posted in general blog，Tags: , ,
07 March 2009
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Part of the acclimation here is getting used to the language patterns.  The good thing is that people in Singapore primarily speak English and some Chinese, both of which I am fluent in.  However, as it is with any country, it takes time to get used to the accent, language patterns, and slang.  This takes me back to my first night in my flat in England, gathered around the kitchen table with my neighbors, freaking out to myself because I could not understand a word of what they were saying.

Sometimes, when they are speaking very quickly or not facing me, I find it rather difficult to follow what they are saying.  Plus, throw in all the cultural references, inside jokes, and other communication barriers and you’ve got a huge jumble in your mind.  It’s taking me some time to sort things out, remembering all the background information for historical and cultural references, what certain phrases mean, and also catching up on what the lingo is like around here.

I grew up learning very standard English and Chinese, so it’s a challenge to understand the accents and local jargon that gets used.  Grammatically things are very different too, which poses a mild block in my mind that slows down my processing.  Plus, I’m used to being very compartmentalized with my languages, rarely switching between them, but now everyone is transitioning around a lot more than I’m used to.  The Chinglish I speak at home hardly uses English phrases and is about 90% Chinese, so I’m thinking and reacting in Chinese for the most part.

I’ve learned a lot since my arrival and I continue to try to keep up with all the background information that I need to try to pick up when trying to adjust to a new culture’s style of communication.  The cadence of speech is very different as well and it certainly has been interesting learning to get used to it.  It’s not that I haven’t heard this type of speech before, but more of the overwhelmed senses I have, struggling to figure out all of this very new information.

I’ve been exhausted lately, crashing to bed without a second thought and happily sleeping through the night.  Gone are my insomniac days, which is good, since I no longer lie in bed thinking about what to do.  However, I have already fallen asleep half a dozen times just writing this post.  So, for now, I’ll let my subconscious brain process all the information from this week.

Spicy foods: the battle between pain and pleasure

laelene Posted in general blog，Tags: , ,
04 March 2009
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It seems that a conscious effort has to be made to find non-spicy foods around here.  I suppose the Singaporeans tolerate pain better than I do.  And yes, extreme spices can qualify as forms of pain – after all, capsaicin creates that burning sensation and activates nerves much like painful sensations do.  It’s no wonder my insides still hurt from ingesting those spices.

Despite this, I absolutely love certain spicy foods, like kimchi, shin ramen, and preserved vegetables.  They are so tasty and delicious, but I can’t get through eating any of them without gasping for a soothing drink.  It’s a strange predicament to be in, loving to eat something so much, yet not being able to do it without crying the whole way through.  It’s nearly a workout in itself, making me work up a sweat and making my heart race.

So what’s a girl to do when her brain craves some spicy food and her stomach is clutched in fear?  Get a very big drink (milk, if possible, since it soothes best) and brace herself!  It’s like drinking soda and the carbonation is just a little too much, but you love it anyway.  We’re so strange to develop taste for things that generally are supposed to turn us away.  Are we as humans masochistic or something?  What other animal gobbles up chili peppers?  But alas,  that is how it goes and we have countless strange habits and rituals.

My stomach is still burning up a little and it’s been twelve hours!  Yikes!  I’m chewing on some Riesen hoping there’s some milk content in there to help my tummy.  Gosh, I should not have gone for that kimchi ramen, but it was soooo good…

Late night driving perils

laelene Posted in general blog，Tags: , ,
03 March 2009
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The weeks leading up to my departure I had been returning home rather late at night on a daily basis and I was always paranoid about an accident.  I am always amazed at how many accidents there are on the roads.  One drive down from Valencia to Westwood saw three crashes!  Thankfully, they were all small fender benders, though one did leave a bumper in the middle of the road and another somehow threw a mattress into a lane.

I also saw one across the way upon entering the highway; an overturned vehicle lay in the middle of the highway – it looked bad but not fatal.  I always make sure to keep an eye on other cars in case they are drunk or tired.  I consider it defensive driving.  I try to be alert as possible, but towards the end I was getting tired myself and found that the lines became more of suggestions to stay within as I swayed a little more than usual.  However, whenever I got too close to a line, I’d start to drift back towards the other side, so I never did accidentally cross over.

It seems that no matter what time of day and what the conditions of the roads, there are always people in a mad rush somewhere.  Then again, speeds also feel faster to me at night when the highway is relatively empty, so would often find myself marveling at a speeder only to find I was driving well below the speed limit.  I guess I get more cautious as the lighting gets darker.

Over here in Singapore though, things seem to go by at a more leisurely pace, probably because of the speed cameras that are waiting to take your picture for going too fast.  It was really nice to be driven around the city tonight, without all kinds of crazy aggressive drivers.  I like the atmosphere here; it’s been awhile since I’ve been somewhere that is roughly the same temperature in the day and night, so that is quite nice for me.

A black hole of a purse

laelene Posted in general blog，Tags: , , , ,
02 March 2009
1

I just arrived in Singapore a few hours ago and I’m having trouble sleeping, so I found myself mentally going through the contents of my suitcases, trying to remember if I brought that darned toothbrush or not.  I swear there are items that I specifically packed, but I was unable to find them last night as I was getting ready for bed.  I’m willing to bet that it’s not my memory playing tricks on me, but my luggage.  Smart buggers.  So, I will try again in a bit as Marylin and I get ready to start our first day at work together!  Until everything is unpacked and stowed away, I am not giving up on finding my favorite facewash and that silly toothbrush.  Thank goodness they give you a temp one to use on the plane, or else I’d be using my finger and gargling a lot.

So does this happen to anyone else?  You throw something into your purse and no amount of digging will make it resurface again.  You just know it’s in there, but minutes of feeling around for it yields no results.  You give up on the search and decide that it’s a lost cause and go buy another one or stop using whatever it was.  Then it’s not until you dump out all the contents that it finally emerges from the depths of the bag.  It’s really quite amazing to me how this manages to happen, even in a seemingly small and innocent purse.  But no, those suckers are like a vortex.  Sometimes something has been hidden away in the crevices of your bag for so long you have forgotten you had it in the first place, then suddenly one day you clean out your purse to find it there!

This is the reason I avoid getting a big purse to carry around, or else I’d spend way too much time rifling through its contents trying to find what I want.  I wish they had more pockets and compartments in purses to keep things from falling out of place and away from reach.  No matter how neatly I place things in, they always manage to shift around and I can never seem to pull out that pen or chapstick when I need it most.  It’s like when you try to find something you’ve misplaced – you only find it after you don’t need it anymore.  Now what’s up with that?  Murphy’s Law?

Something similar happens in bowls of soup too, particularly ramen, as my friends and I found when eating some for lunch recently… really, how does a piece of pork get lost in that bowl?!  They need to serve these things with strainers or we may never even know some of the food we missed out on!  It’s all fine and dandy when you’re drinking the entire bowl, but if it’s a noodle-based soup, you could be leaving a lot more left over than you intended to.  Oh the black holes in our lives…

Packrat tendencies

laelene Posted in general blog，Tags: , , , ,
01 March 2009
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I have a habit of collecting things and never throwing them out.  I just can’t bear to.  This has been a problem since my youth, when I couldn’t even throw away homework that I wrote.  I blame it on my intense sentimentality.  Everything is a memory to me, good, bad, or otherwise.  Well how do you throw that away?  However, though I do love to keep things around, I would like to cut back on the superfluous things I have lying around the house.  After all, who needs clutter?  So whenever I move or pack, I try to clear out some of my stuff in an effort to stop the growing piles of boxes.

I am finally getting to the point in my life where I have outgrown some of my clothes, yet I still haven’t put them all together to donate.  Some are just a tad bit small now, but mostly they are just not a style that someone my age would wear.  Despite the fact that I will never need them again, they sit in my closet, reminders of my high school days.  Perhaps one day I will start an electronic photo album database with pictures of all the items that I’ve owned, so even when I get rid of something, I’ll have it stored away in a memory bank of sorts.  At the same time, I recognize that once that stuff is gone I will hardly ever think of it again.

This goes for a lot of things I own.  My mom is always doing some spring cleaning in my room, rummaging through my things and throwing them out as she sees fit.  Many of these items I don’t miss for a long time, which should indicate just how much I don’t need them.  Yet, it doesn’t make it any easier for me to let go, since the moment I do remember, I feel a great loss.  Why do I have such an attachment to my personal items?  Maybe it’s because my memory is not as good as I would like, or that I fear losing it too soon.

Right now it’s been hard to not pack certain things, since I can almost always convince myself that there will be that one circumstance in which I would need to use that item.  I had to constantly remind myself that I really won’t be needing a dozen jackets in Singapore, seeing as my research into their weather patterns has shown very consistent results: hot, humid, non-jacket conditions.  It’s a pity, since I have suddenly been rediscovering jackets that I have not worn in ages and would love to!  Alas, I will just have to console myself with the thought that I can make up for that when I get back.

I even had trouble deciding what office supplies to bring – how many highlighters?  What color pens?  How about pencils?  Erasers?  All of this is largely irrelevant, since I will likely be using a rather plain black or blue pen most of the time, which I’m sure the office is abound with.  Besides, how long does one pen last you?  Ages!  So it’s not like I’m going to be pumping through them, but nonetheless I took special care in deciding just what to throw in my suitcase and what to leave out.

So there you go, I confess my packratting habit.  It could be worse… right?

Business casual redefined

laelene Posted in general blog，Tags: , , , ,
17 February 2009
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I decided to take advantage of President’s Day sales today by going to Kohl’s to buy myself a young working woman’s wardrobe.  I have only ever held two jobs that required professional attire – one was an internship that I went to twice a week and one was a summer job that had business casual days two or three times a week.  This job in Singapore will be the first time that I need enough fancy clothes to wear five or six days a week for many long hours!

I have a bunch ofnice shirts that are borderline “going out” and some that look nice, but just don’t look… grown up enough.  I am also sorely lacking in slacks – I have four and the ones for two business suits.  So, today I marched myself out of the house and spent THREE HOURS rifling through the racks, trying on various sizes and colors of various styles.  All in all, it was a productive time and I came out with eight shirts (though two are casual for day-to-day wear), three pants, one suit jacket to match one of the pants, three dresses (one for work and two for formal parties), and some small personal items.

I tried to arrange everything in a way that would show their features best, but alas, I had too many things squeezing into too little space.  As you can see I went a little crazy with the gray pinstripes…

I have feared this shopping trip for far too long and it’s nice to finally get it out of the way.  I always knew it was coming, but I never really needed to stock up, so I never had the patience to spend so much time sorting through what I wanted and what I didn’t.  Why did I fear it?  Because “business casual” is a very hard term to define nowadays.  Traditionally it was business formal attire minus the outer jacket, but with trends influencing what we wear, there are my nice button-up shirts that are also inappropriate for the office.  Sometimes it’s hard to distinguish between what adds a nice stylish flair to your outfit and what gives off the entirely wrong impression.  It’s a fine line to walk.

Whatever happened to the good old days when things were simple and straightforward?  Now it’s just a complicated mess that you can’t generalize and things like these can vary by personal preference.  I hope my choices were classy enough without being too straightedge.  And if they were expecting longer sleeves… I’m screwed.  But hey, it’s Singapore!  Their temperature is currently in the high 80s!

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