Not your average

laelene Post in relationships,Tags: , ,

Well, Panda and I have been going through some tough times so I wanted to take some time to celebrate what makes our relationship beautiful.  We’re not your average couple…  He is not afraid of domestic work and I am not afraid of manual labor (or bugs :-P).  I do not expect him to be the bread winner and he does not expect me to raise the kids mostly on my own.  We are not afraid to show emotions to each other and cry.  We are also completely comfortable with each other’s bodily functions, though we may tease each other about them at times.  I don’t see a reason to conform to society’s standards and censor myself with him.

Then again, I guess a lot of that is sort of the traditional sexist type of relationship.  Many modern relationships are not restricted quite like that, but still I find myself grateful for what we have when I hear about others’ views.  When the guys at work talk about their girlfriends/wives spending $400 on a purse, I gawk like they’re all insane (which they are).  I can’t fathom ever spending that kind of money on a purse, or shoes, or clothes.  Then there’s the engagement ring of $10k+.  What?!  At first the ones I liked were a few hundred.  Then I started to look at nicer ones in the $2000-5000 range and that’s where I’m at.  Why spend more?  It’s a waste.  Panda will never have to worry about saving up crazy amounts of money so I can spend it all away.

Another thing that struck me was when the guys were talking about going to events without their significant other and being able to enjoy themselves more that way.  I can’t think of a single event I don’t want Panda to come with me to.  In fact, many a time I’ve opted out because he didn’t want to come or was unable to.  The first thing I think about is how much fun I’d have if he could come.  Not how much fun I could have if he didn’t come.  That concept was foreign to me and the events I do go to alone, I am missing Panda the entire time.  Of course, I still do what I can to enjoy myself, but it would be infinitely better with him there to share the experience.

We are also perfectly honest with each other.  Cheating, abusing, breaking up – these are all things we’ve discussed before.  We will do everything in our powers to prevent these atrocities, but we recognize we’re human, we’re not perfect, and it’s possible it could happen.  Our open line of communication might sometimes be too open and feelings get hurt, people get offended.  Nevertheless, we accept what is the truth and work with it.  Things aren’t always peachy, but we aren’t giving up.

Perhaps the problem is actually that our type of relationship is NOT the standard.  I sure think it would help lower the divorce rate since you either wouldn’t get married in the first place, or work through your problems and stay together for it.  People can do with a lot more trying and a lot less giving up.

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