Besides travel the world and skydiving, I’d say that running a marathon tops everyone’s “to do” list (or for the more ambitious, perhaps a triathlon).  Why?  What’s the draw?  I don’t quite understand it, because to me, marathons hold no interest.  Then again, I’m not as into endurance sports as most people seem to be; rather, I prefer sprinting and strength exercises.  Plus, I much prefer being in water than jolting my knees on land.

It seems that marathons have become a rite of passage.  Much like the Greek system has a pledging process, during which pledges undergo certain challenges to prove they deserve to become a brother or sister in the organization, marathons (and training for them) seem to be a process people go through to be inducted to an unofficial club of sorts.  Ultimately it’s more about bragging rights and being able to say that you’ve run a marathon than just being healthy or running for enjoyment.  In fact, most people who run marathons find it excruciatingly painful and just barely finish their first few.  But it’s one of those things that’s hard enough that people respect you for doing it, yet easy enough that just about anyone can do it, so long as they set their minds to it.

Running comes pretty easily to just about everyone who isn’t confined to a wheelchair.  It’s a natural thing humans do, and though techniques vary, the skill isn’t really hard to pick up.  Other things like swimming are harder for people to pick up, which is why I think triathlons are things that only more elite athletes go for.  The average Joe finds learning to swim and bike, then having to compete in those on top of running just a bit too hard.  That’s my theory on why marathons make the list while triathlons get far less attention.  Marathons are a good middle ground between not doing anything physically challenging and going for a triathlon.

I’ve never gotten into them and may never attempt a marathon.  That accomplishment just doesn’t mean as much to me.  I’d rather be able to hold static exercises for longer, be able to pump more weights, or do endurance stuff submerged in water.  I’ve never been a great fan of cardio exercises.  I like strength and agility more.  So though I’d love to go ocean swimming, I don’t feel the need to prove myself by swimming the English Channel.  I guess that’s why I loved swimming the butterfly stroke and doing long and triple jump.  There’s a lot more skill involved in addition to the strength and power you need to do those events.  I’d also love to become a better shot with a pistol, revolver, rifle, and maybe even a bow and arrow.  Oh, and traveling the world and skydiving are definitely on my “to do” list.  But marathons?  They just aren’t my thing.

I’m sure that many people have promised themselves that this is the year they will get fit.  And just a week and a half into the year, most are probably doing alright with that goal.  However, as weeks drag on to months, it gets harder to stick with it.  It’s like the opposite of going cold turkey, whatever that may be.  Suddenly trying to pick up a behavior is just as hard as trying to quit an addictive one.  The process tends to work better when it’s done gradually or less drastically.

That’s one of the reason why pedometers are doing so well!  People walk all the time, so doing a little more throughout your day doesn’t kill you and make you want to quit your new fitness regimen.  Plus, having the number staring up at you makes things a lot easier to track.  When you have small, measurable goals that you can easily track, it makes staying on target so much easier than the “I did 5 sets of 10 reps but I don’t see a difference” approach.  Personally, I love the weight room, but I can see how it’s not the best way for people to get in shape.  After all, strength training is more focused on building muscles than building a figure.

So in the following weeks, if you find yourself having trouble reaching your goals for the year, make a list of small actionable items to do, one at a time.  This goes for anything from health resolutions to general goals, like that book you’ve been meaning to read, that book you’ve been meaning to write, or the friend you’ve been meaning to catch up with.  Start with the basics – read a page, write a paragraph, send a text.  And of course, don’t forget to just keep walking!  You can build momentum step by step and soon enough you’ll climb your way up those mountains.

Now if only I could find my Pikachu pedometer… (story for another day, when I actually find it or determine it lost forever).

[update jan.12.2010]  Oh my gosh!  Panda showed me the link above and I was shocked to find this is something that was actually known (maybe even popular?) in the States!  Mine came from China, so I figured it was this obscure thing…

A new year, a new decade.  I haven’t thought much about resolutions, but here are some things I’ve been working on:

~getting a job.  This is definitely the year I get one.  Let’s just hope it’s sooner rather than later.  I’ve definitely got a great lead right now!  I’m pretty confident that I won one of the 5 interviews that Vidli is giving out for their Social Media Expert.  Here was my blog entry about it.  The competition is now closed and results are coming out today or tomorrow!

~electronically organize my life with Evernote, reQall, Dropbox, Skydrive, Live Mesh, or something along those lines… I just started using Evernote after getting it in October and I want to make a habit of uploading things so I can access information from anywhere with the internet.  I’ve been using reQall to help me remember things.  Too bad I’d have to pay to link the two accounts.  I’m still trying to figure out what to use for what between Dropbox, Skydrive, Live Mesh, and others similar to them.

~start giving out my Google Voice number exclusively.  This way it doesn’t matter what my number changes to in the future, people can always find me.

~use my mary@maryqin.com e-mail as the primary contact.  I’ve been reluctant to in case I stop using my website, but I’ll probably always keep it and just use it for different reasons over the years.  Plus if I use that e-mail, it will be an added incentive to keep my site going.

~begin sprinkling in some video blogging.  I’ve done pure text blogging, then posts with pictures, and added in photo blogging.  Now it’s time for the next stage with some video, whether of me talking, something interested I filmed, or (in the way future) something I edited together.

This will also be the year that I figure out what my life will be like more or less for the next couple of years.  As soon as I get that job, I want to start creating a routine.  Figure out when and where I can work out.  Look into a physical therapist, chiropractor, or masseuse to help with my weak back.  Go visit the dentist after way too long!  Think about my next step in education – maybe take some online or night classes in the years leading up to that MBA.  Save up for emergencies, future investments, and other such important items.  Find a routine that fits Panda in frequently (which will of course change as soon as he starts working!).  And then I’ll know how I can work my social life around that.  :)

It’s a year of big change and I’ve been more than ready for awhile now.  So here’s to 2010!

I’ve been speaking to a lot of entrepreneurs lately and it’s really exciting to hear all the fun, interesting, and innovative ideas they have! Most are still in early development, so I can’t share what they are, but I would like to say that there’s a certain theme running through it all – a need to make things better. Everyone’s focus is in their own area of expertise and passion, which makes for a lot of promising businesses to come! I think the great thing about startups is the drive that people have. You can’t survive without a deep level of commitment to the purpose of the company/organization, unlike in large and established corporations, where you can get away with a lack of interest in what the mission actually is.

For me, it’s motivating to see all the hard workers out there making their dreams come true.  I’ve got a lot that I’d like to make a reality within the next decade and I’m going to start on at least one of them by the time I’m 30.  That’s a promise to myself, and something to make myself accountable for.  One piece of advice I got was to set real, concrete deadlines and that’s exactly what I’m working on.  Too often I like to leave a way out by saying, “sometime around” or “in the next 5-10 years,” giving myself enough leeway to perhaps not quite make it happen.  So I’m going to change my mentality and decide that I am and I will.  No more of that I hope and I want business.  It’s going to be how I choose to make it to be.

At times I was doubtful that I had an entrepreneurial enough spirit to be an entrepreneur, but now that I see those out there, I’ve got no doubt in my mind that I have the passion, drive, creativity, and intelligence to do so.  The important thing is setting my mind to it and then going full force.  That’s not a problem for me – I decided I wanted to start my own business when I was in middle school and that desire has yet to change.  I’ve definitely gotten bitten by the entrepreneurial, if there is such a thing, and I’m excited to develop my plans over the years as I ready myself professionally and personally to handle the tasks I’ll need to for my aspirations to become real.

It’s been consuming my thoughts!

I’m working on a project now that is something I’ve thought of before, but never considered doing seriously until now.  After speaking to some tried and true entrepreneurs, the one piece of advice that stood out was: just do it.   Yup, Nike was right – you just gotta go out and get started!   So that’s exactly what I’m doing on now, first producing some content to put up on the site that I’ll be launching within the first week of January.   I spent the majority of today working on the more technical issues of getting the site up and with the help of a friend, I’ve got a decent framework to work with.   It’ll start off simple, but I do hope the content is valuable to my target audience.

I’m excited for this fun distraction that I’m going to build into a great resource and fun reference.  I don’t want to give too much away while I’m still working on it, so just keep your eyes open in the new year, especially if you’re a Bruin!  In the mean time, if you or anyone you know is willing to help with writing content, doing some graphic design, or helping with the website, please do let me know!  I’ll need all the help I can get.  This will be my first “startup” (not in the sense of a company, but in the sense that I’m the one running the show based off of one of my ideas), so I’m sure there will be a lot to learn.  I’ll try to document what I can as I grow from the experience.  :)

I’m frustrated.

This bad economy has made it very difficult for me to find a job and I’m starting to get impatient.  Here I am, at 5 (well, now nearly 8 that I’m posting this…) in the morning, still not sleeping because I’m so angst-filled I can’t.  I can only stare at job listings for so many hours a day, day in and day out, before it all becomes a blur and what I want becomes too similar to what’s out there.  Let’s not even get into the pain of sorting through the legitimate stuff and the sketchy postings.  My parents keep telling me to just get a job first and then worry about getting one I actually want.  However, I just can’t do that.  I can loosen my desired fields and responsibilities, but I am not going apply for every single job I am close to qualified for.  I’d just end up doing something I won’t care about to want to get up in the morning.  Plus, no matter how temporary, it’d be a job I’d have to stick with for a couple of months at the least.

I have this terrible fear that if I get started in a position that is too whatever-focused, I’m going to end up doing that for far too long for me to be happy.  Not that I need to be happy all the time, of course.  Right now the thought of the whole job hunt makes me cringe, but I do it because I need to support myself.  I’d love a job that’s a little bit of this and that, touching on many of my interests.  I don’t want to get restricted to just one area.  Am I being too short-sighted?  I’d love to get into some of the areas I’ve worked in, but I also don’t want to drown in them.  Also, it’d be great to work for a non-profit, but I will need to learn how a for-profit works.  Everything I do now I’d hope would be useful for me in the future as an entrepreneur.  And sure, all of the above would be great for that, but what I really want is something in the green space and/or at UCLA.  (That’s not all that I’m applying for, of course.)

I don’t really know why I am so stubborn, however I have applied for plenty of jobs that may not fit the bill of what I want perfectly, but would be something I care about enough to work hard at and have enough experience in to make a real contribution.  Unfortunately, I’m not exactly hearing back yet.  I have experience in a lot of areas, but not extensive in any particular area.  I wonder if that’s hurting me.  It’s also extremely difficult to figure what exactly is an entry-level job!  The job I really wanted I lost out to someone who’s been working for 3-5 years, I believe.  With all these people who have anywhere from 1 to 5 years edge on me, how do I leverage myself?  The competition these days is harsh and I am always up against people with more/better experience.

On the bright side, I’m going to speak with the boss at my internship next week to go over what I want to learn while I’m there and what I want to do in terms of work.  Perhaps she’ll have some useful suggestions in mind.  I just wish she could have leads too.  I had an evaluation with my manager before she left last week and she gave me great feedback.  I also hear a lot of good words from the boss.  All of that’s great, but I need it to work for me in terms of landing a full-time position somewhere.  I can only work for free for so long.  In fact, it’s already been too long and I am itching to have benefits so I can finally get my teeth checked, buy new contacts, and perhaps even get a physical.  I also can’t wait to not have to ask my parents to help me out.  I’m ready to be fully self-sufficient!

But of course, all this comes at the price of finding a job I can enjoy (at least most of the time), be qualified for, and contribute to in a meaningful way.  It’s not fair to a company to pretend I love the position to land the job only to leave them as soon as I can get another one I truly want.  I just worry that there are too many positions I’ve dismissed because I couldn’t imagine myself doing those tasks for 40 hours a week.  Maybe it wouldn’t be as bad I imagine to focus on something that is not my strongest interest.  Guess we’ll see as I continue this (seemingly) endless struggle.

Sometimes it feels like a really hard game. You zoom past the easy levels, then get stuck on a hard one. photo credit: danimations on flickr

Just yesterday morning I got the news: Thank you for applying, but we have chosen another candidate for the position.  Or something to that effect.  It feels like so long ago!  I had a lot of my hope banking on this job, so it was certainly a let-down that I didn’t get it, after getting so far.  I had three wonderful people give me great recommendations and even a fourth one who put in some good words.  In the end, it might have come down to exactly what I had feared… not enough professional experience in event planning and scheduling.

I had the passion, I had the drive, I had the excitement and enthusiasm!  I just didn’t have the years of experience to back me up.  I’m still waiting to hear back regarding feedback on how I was as a candidate so I can improve myself for the next try.  I really wish I had gotten this one though – it was perfect for what I want out of life now.  At least it didn’t hit me as hard as I thought it would.  It helped that I had just heard of some new, exciting opportunities, so now I’m applying for those.  Just gotta keep plowing forward!

Ironic then, that last night I listened to a speaker sharing advice on how to live our professional lives and today I listened to a speaker doing much the same.  I was oddly inspired, yet weary.  Sometimes you know what you should do, but it’s just not the right time emotionally.  I felt like that last night, as the pangs of a job not earned hit my subconscious.  I didn’t think it was affecting me much, but apparently it was.  Let me tell you, it is the most bizarre feeling, to be inspired and discontent at the same time.  It’s hard to reconcile.  Well, I took those lessons and pondered them on my way home, as I questioned many things in my life.  Then today I was feeling much more receptive to the advice presented.  I just need time to recover from everything I put into the potential job.

A wonderful event!

Let’s move on to the pointers that the two speakers gave, starting with Jordan Belfort:

~”motion creates emotion” – Put your body physically a certain way and you will start to feel that way.  Stand tall and confident and you will feel more confident.  Hang your head and look at the ground and you will begin to feel sad.  Move how you want to feel and you can create that emotion through body language.

~”act as if” – Whatever your goal is, start acting as if you have already attained it.  You will begin to open doors to lead you towards that very goal.  (This could work well in line with the advice that tells you to start taking on duties of those above you when you want to get a promotion/raise.  Just start working like you already have that job!)

~”where focus goes, energy flows” – The things you focus on, you will pick out more readily than everything else.  So focus on what you want to get and don’t expend resources on the rest.  We’re great at filtering out things to find what we want, but if we’re preoccupied with our weaknesses or problems, that’s all we’ll see.

~”change the way you look at things and the things you look at will change” – Similar to above.  When you focus on the good and what you want, you will go towards it.  When you shift focus down to the things holding you back, you will plummet.

The Wolf of Wall Street, as he's known.

~”build a new pattern” – From our youth, we develop patterns.  Patterns of thought, patterns of behavior, patterns of expectations.  Don’t let those inhibit you.  Break old patterns and start adjusting them bit by bit.  Next thing you know, it’ll be second nature!

~”mistakes are resources” – Every time you make a mistake, it’s a chance to learn.  Failure is in the eye of the beholder.  Take each stumble as a lesson so you don’t run into the same issue again.  Successful entrepreneurs especially know this; they’ve all failed and learned!

~”model after someone successful” – Find someone (or “someones”) doing what you want to accomplish and find a formula of their actions that work for you.  Take what they do best, what has led them to success, and learn from it.

~”Mother Nature has equipped you with everything you need” – You just need to harness that natural talent!

Amy Lukken, Director of Market Research and Educational Learning

And today’s speaker was Ms. Amy Lukken from Interface, with similar wisdom:

~People tend to focus on the negative, like when you get a report card with As and Bs and one D.  All parents will immediately see the D and question it.  We’re always working to improve our weaknesses (but what about our strengths?).  Around the time we’re 3-9, our natural talents start to emerge.  We can and should take those and find ways to develop them and apply them to future jobs.

~She showed us a t-shirt that said: Failure is NOT an option.  Good idea, but the most prominent words were “failure” and “not.”  Walking around seeing them all day doesn’t give the right impression.  (As I like to say, double negative wording is detrimental to the positive meaning they hide.  Just word things positively!)

~Discover your passion and aim for that.  You shouldn’t get stuck in a job you hate just because it is stable, pays well, etc.  Oftentimes there are ways to incorporate what you’re good at and your passions into many types of roles.  (Take me, for example – I’m good at proofreading, so I could be an editor in many organizations.)

Now I’ll take their words, trying to remember it all as I move forward.

It frustrates me when people don’t do anything because they think it won’t matter.

“Oh, it’s just a drop of water in the ocean, a grain of sand on the beach, a star in the night sky.  Without that drop, the ocean is still as expansive; without that grain, the beach is still as solid; without that star, the night sky is still as bright.  You’ll never miss it.”

Everything has an origin point. Don't underestimate just one little thing. photo credit: shannonstanley.wordpress.com

But you know what?  It does matter!  That one drop creates ripples, affecting its neighbors that then affect their neighbors until a wave builds up.  Besides, actions reflect a mentality, so not making one small change here can lead to not making another small change there.  If you work incrementally, the next thing you know, you’ve made a huge change.  It takes time and patience to see results that are truly worthy of gaining, as well as persistence.

Every time you leave the water running, don’t turn off the lights, don’t donate your time or money, and otherwise deem things too much effort and not enough tangible reward, you are increasing the vicious cycle of inaction and indifference.  Aggregated, each little action adds up to become a trend, a movement.  And thus, nobody should ever give up from the get-go, thinking, “Well it won’t really matter that much overall.”  It can and it will, if you stick to it, then start to affect the people in your life too.  Eventually, you’ll have something on a scale you never imagined, because the power of compounding has taken effect and created something much larger than just you.

And so, I’m going to start increasing the number of registered bone marrow donors (particularly ones of Asian descent), one person at a time until we get a massive database.  It’s pathetic that there’s only 7% of Asian Americans on the US who are currently available to donate when there are thousands of people in need.  I’ve already gotten some friends to enter themselves into the registry and slowly started to educate them not only on the need, but the misconception that it is a painful procedure to extract the marrow.  What are you waiting for?  Go register yourself now!  And also go learn more about one young lady who is fighting the battle against leukemia right now.

I’m also taking environmentalism one step at a time, constantly weeding out the things and habits in my life that are unsustainable, replacing them with more globally-friendly alternatives.

Be the impetus for change.  Start something.  Then keep working hard as the effects ripple further and faster.  This goes for anything you care about, from our deteriorating environment to our broken education system to poverty to deadly diseases.  Everything has got to start somewhere!

Well, today is Blog Action Day and thousands of blogs are writing about climate change!  When I get a chance, I’ll go check out what they’ve all written, but for myself, it’s all about what I can do as an individual.  Certainly it’s not much on the grand scheme, but individual actions add up and I’m hoping that down the line I can start an eco-consulting firm to address this very issue and get people to change their behavior in positive ways.  With enough people making enough effort, we can make a powerful impact.  That’s my dream for the future.

As for now, I decided to explore the ways I’ve greened my life and what I can do to continue along that path.  I’ve made a lot of small changes to my life over the years to get to this point and I plan on continuing steadily for the rest of my life.  So some ways that I’ve already greened my life are…

~ using reusable tote bags and saving all plastic bags I do get for other purposes

~ composting (I’d like to start a worm compost one day)

~ recycling (too bad so many things aren’t recyclable!)

~ unplugging everything when not in use

~ changing out light bulbs (some of the smaller ones are still traditional bulbs… are they going to make smaller energy-efficient bulbs?)

~ eating little red meat (I don’t eat much meat in general, especially beef)

~ printing only when absolutely necessary (which is hardly ever)

~ using a green service provider to power my website

In the next couple of months, I plan on implementing some new ways of improving my own sustainability.  Some options may have to wait until I’ve settled a little more and know where I’ll be living for the next couple of years (namely, planting my own fruits and vegetables to eat).  Each change is a step towards progress and by the time I’m 30, I hope I can proudly claim a sustainable lifestyle.

~ plant fruits/vegetables to eat

~ buy more locally

~ change shower heads

~ filter water – no more bottles! – and continue using reusable bottles

~ get a hybrid car (and try to drive less)

~ walk/bike/skate more (it’s good for your health, after all!)

~ phase out commercialized cleaning solutions for more old school ones (like using baking soda and vinegar, or those squash-looking loofahs)

~ buy an energy-efficient and environmentally friendly laptop

I’m sure there’s a lot more I can do, but this is a start!  I’ll keep working on my list over the years as solutions are developed and I discover more ways that I can change my ways to leave a smaller carbon footprint in this world.  I’ve begun to educate and influence those around me as well, and I intend on doing that in a greater scale further into my career!  Someday I’d like to see everyone in my city living this way and a good portion of the country as well.  I don’t know if I’ll live to see the world change like that, but that would certainly be amazing.

photo credit: markterrybooks.com

At moments, my mind is clouded by a foggy haze.  Thoughts no longer come in lucidly and I can just imagine the transmissions in my brain slowing down.  It’s hard to focus when an invisible weight sets foot on your cranium and won’t dissolve, no matter how you try.  In fact, it’s almost like corn starch in water or a Chinese finger trap, where the harder you try, the more resistant it gets.  So I’ve given up fighting against the current and decided that it’s time to let my weary mind rest for the night.  I have no clue what has brought on this mental murkiness, but along with it I feel a sense of increased agitation and restlessness.

Snippets of thoughts run through my head – things to remember, things to do, things to… wait, what was I thinking again? A train of thought is lost just as easily as another takes its place and my mind jumps around lethargically in a way completely unlike the normal stream of thoughts that has me working at a quick pace.  I remember websites I meant to visit and read, but I’ve no patience to go through the words.  My left eye feels more strained than my right and that irks me.  I remember moments that I was harsh or irresponsible towards Panda and I get a pang of guilt.

Too many choices lay in my path and I can’t seem to rationalize my decisions.  Everything is a good path, so how do I choose just one?  I want to go to all these events, but I don’t have the time and shouldn’t use the resources to.  I’ve been craving ice cream all night long and never got around to getting some.  I’ve wasted way too much  time agonizing over when I’ll gain access to Google Wave, then researching Google Voice and MetroPCS instead.  Why?  Because I’m curious and wanted to learn about them.  But I feel at a standstill, unable to get what I want though I know what it is that I’d love so much.  A lot of that has to do with my job search.

I wouldn’t say I’ve found a dream job, but I’ve found one that fits my main specifications and sounds wonderful:

1. with UCLA

2. environment-related

3. decent pay with benefits

4. small work environment

But I haven’t heard back and it’s frustrating because I hate the whole job hunting process and I’d like to just get a job and settle a bit.  Much as I enjoy what I’m doing now, there’s huge pressure from my parents to find a job.  I don’t think they want anything else from me now, even if I win an award or get to do something prestigious.

I'd like some tranquility and a sense of accomplishment right about now. photo credit: healthyoga.com

My body feels out of sync and I’m getting more conscious of my unevenness.  I haven’t had a proper workout for ages because I’ve been telling myself that I’ll start up a routine once I get a job.  See, even I’m placing these restrictions on myself.  I just want to land that job, get an apartment, get that new car, and begin a routine.  Strange.  I’m not one for routines and doing the same thing over and over again.  But at the same time, I’d like a little more pattern in my life.  Living week to week is not sustainable.  So many things hinge on settling (and having money): starting to attend yoga classes, joining a massage clinic, picking up more hobbies, getting more creative with cooking, hitting up more restaurants, going to football/basketball games, getting alumni membership in Alpha Kappa Psi, reading books again…  I’m putting off everything requiring money or a steady time commitment.  After all, I don’t want to start something just to have to change when I do start working full-time.