Transformers thoughts

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*If you haven’t seen Transformers, there may be some spoilers.

TRANSFORMERS

photo credit: howstuffworks.com

We had a fun little outing with most of the company to eat dinner and watch Transformers tonight.  I’m not a big fan of robots and aliens and that type of action film, but I thought I’d come along to just hang out and see what all this hype about Megan Fox is all about.  All in all, it was kind of as I expected – a whole lot of metal with some hot girls thrown in, but nothing that really grabbed me.  Still, I tried to immerse myself in the story as best I could and felt a bit sad here and there when a character died.  However, I couldn’t help but think of all the things that didn’t make sense to me (like how these robots don’t just stomp out all the people when they’re fighting and how Optimus’s body was unharmed during that huge long battle).  It also didn’t help that I heard giggling at entirely inappropriate times, which makes a weak plot even less impactful.

I spent a good portion of the movie trying to understand the point of most of the characters – it seemed that they weren’t really needed.  Eventually I came to the conclusion that they were thrown in pretty much for just one purpose each: for the girl, to be the one trying so hard to bring him back; for his roommate, to lead him to the deli; for the deli guy, to lead them to the old plane guy; for the old plane guy, to sacrifice himself for the final battle… you get the point.  Really it was just about the special effects and I’m sure most people went for that (as well as some peeks of those two chicks’ bodies).  I did enjoy all the military gadgets that it showed though – I’ve always had a soft spot for a fighter jet flying overhead or anything else that rumbles so loud I feel it in my heart.  Plus I just adore the military in general, so it was nice to be reminded of some details from my military experiences.

The one thing that it did get me to think about was the whole “I love you” issue.  I’m still waiting for Panda to say that to me one day.  Though the word love has been thrown around here and there, I don’t think he’s ever said that phrase and I wonder when he’d be ready to.  Well, at least there’s no rush – it’s only been a year and there are still many years to go!  It’s interesting how reluctant people are to say that and it was a random theme that stretched throughout the course of the movie.  I don’t understand how Sam knew that the girlfriend said it first when he was unconscious and apparently talking to some old robot machines during that time.  But hey, it’s the movies for a reason, right?

Sense of self (worth)

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I was talking to my mom on the phone the other day and found that I’ve lost a bit of my sense of self (and self worth).  We were discussing my next steps when I go back to LA and I found that I’m rather confused.  There are a lot of things I want to do with my life and a lot of things I don’t want to do.  Between all of those desires, it’s hard to choose what exactly to do now.  Part of this had to do with my lofty goals of starting my own environmental consulting firm (or perhaps eco-consulting is more accurate).  There’s so much I need to do and learn and know to get that off the ground and sometimes I lose sight of how to do that.  However, talking to her has helped me get hope again, and find a better focus for my job hunting to come.

Reconnect with the lion within.

Reconnect with the lion within.

I’d slowly been losing faith in myself, finding that maybe I don’t have what it takes to be an entrepreneur, a business owner, a CEO.  Though that’s always been my dream since I started thinking of what path to take my life on after high school, the work I’ve been doing has shown me that what I’m good at is not leader of a company material.  Instead, I’m far better playing second fiddle, doing all the background work and behind the scenes stuff to keep the front lines moving.  I tend to be strong with research, but that’s not what will take me to where I want to go.  There are a lot of areas I’m weak in, like interacting with people and managing things holistically.  Seeing this has slowly ground away at my self-confidence and blind faith in myself to make it somehow.

Additionally, I lost a lot of faith in myself since coming to Singapore because of the many obstacles I’ve been struggling with.  From the cultural barriers to more personal issues that have cropped up, each time it left me wondering what I’m doing wrong, what I’ve been doing wrong, and why in the world there are so many misunderstandings.  After a lengthy conversation with Typea, I began to see so many misunderstandings stemming from my Western upbringing.  There are so many small things that you would never really know about because it’s usually not worth mentioning.  But add them all up and you’ve got a very inaccurate interpretation of who you are and why you do what you do.  Singapore is still an Eastern culture after all, despite all the Western influence they may have.

It’s kind of funny, because now I’m starting to see Singapore much like myself.  It’s neither here nor there, with English as a primary language, but Asian cultures still dominating the way of life.  Similarly with me, I’m neither Chinese nor American, but Chinese-American and as anyone who has studied complex systems can attest, the sum of parts is greater than the whole.  What that means for me is that I’m not simply Chinese mixed with an American; the interaction of the two produces an entirely new result altogether.  Yet to those who have not grown up knowing what that is like, that’s a hard thing to understand, so they just assume I’m both put together.  Unfortunately, that means they expect me to know a lot more of the nuances of claiming either identity than I actually do.

Still foreign.

Still foreign.

What I have trouble accepting is that I can’t do anything about it.  One of the quirky things about Asian culture is that nearly everything is suppressed.  People aren’t straightforward, but rather expect you to insinuate what they want and what you should do.  Not being armed with the right tools to figure this out, I am left to flounder and come up with completely bizarre conclusions (in their eyes, at least).  It’s frustrating because I just need pointers and guidance (albeit a lot) to help me along.  Also, because I look Asian, there is less leeway or forgiveness for many transgressions because it is assumed I should know.  If I didn’t look so, I think I’d either get written off as a foreigner or people would be more patient with the mistakes I made.  I always had that luxury as a child though, because whenever I went back to China to visit, I was with my relatives who knew how different I was, so they didn’t expect me to be like them.

So, my ego has taken a hard blow and it doesn’t help that no matter how hard I try, it doesn’t make things better.  I’ve been told quite a few times to just let it go – what is, is.  But to me, that’s like giving up.  Here I am in a foreign culture – how could I not try to adapt?  The difference is sometimes too great though, so to some extent I want to stop trying so hard.  I spend all that time and effort to avoid stepping on people’s toes or giving them the wrong impression only to do so anyway.  Is there still a point?  I’ve got one more month here and two of those weeks will be spent as a tourist going around to other countries.  There certainly isn’t time to fix things as I’d like, but should I keep trying anyway?

Afternoon adventure

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monkeys laying on ground together belly upI had a lovely afternoon out in the “wilderness” of Bukit Timah, where I spent a few hours exploring the playgrounds and playing with the monkeys.  I was worried that I wouldn’t make it at one point because when I got off the bus I had no idea where to go.  After some wandering (and going in the wrong direction), I finally found a sign directing the way and happened upon the Visitor’s Center.  As I was approaching, I was staring at these plants that fascinated me, so I was startled when I turned my head to find a baboon-looking creature not but a few feet away from me.

I spent a good amount of time near the building, following the primates around and trying to grab some nice shots.  I wasn’t sure where all the trails for hiking and biking were, so I just followed this wooden ramp up into the woods.  It took me at least half an hour to go a mere 100 feet because there were just so many cute monkeys along the way!  I was engrossed with them all – there were ones play fighting, grooming and eating ticks, hugging each other, swinging in the trees, and all sorts of other activities.  I’ve always had a huge soft spot for animals, so I spent some extra time just standing there watching them, taking pictures and videos and enjoying their antics.

a friendly monkey trying to pick ticks off me, but of course I have none

No qualms about approaching me!

When dealing with animals, I’m always immensely curious but slightly wary, since ultimately they are unpredictable creatures.  In this case, I was careful to not make loud noises or bare my teeth and to move slowly and predictably.  The older ones were still stand-offish, but the younger ones were curious as well and wouldn’t mind if I was close.  One of them even approached me and reached for my knee, trying to find a tick or two to pick, but alas, he came up empty.  Later on, I was leaning on a wall when I got approached by four of them and one even started to climb up my extended arm!  Their hands are so soft and warm; it was quite cute.

As for what was inside the reserve, I found some great play toys, including a zip line, suspension bridge, and slide.  I had a great time exploring the little paths they had that led to more secluded areas where you could appreciate the vegetation and quiet.  At the far point of the trail, there was a lovely lookout point that overlooked a beautiful quarry.  I wish I could have gone swimming there, with steep cliffs on one side and the woods surrounding me on the others.  Too bad there was a signal tower of sorts out there, or you could really start to imagine scenes from Hero, with epic battles fought in breathtaking environments (or maybe it was just that one scene with the lake).

rope bridge extended across small creekAll in all I had a fabulous time and if I get a chance, I’d like to go back at least once more.  If I lived here for a long period of time, this would be the type of place I’d want to visit every weekend and come running through.  I didn’t venture up the steeper trails since they mostly seemed to be meant for working out.  I do believe I was the only person there wearing flip flops and non-athletic clothes.  It’s a pity I didn’t bring my sneakers with me, but unfortunately they take up a lot of room that I couldn’t exactly afford.  Too bad there are no monkeys wandering in forests in LA for me to visit.

Consumerism’s path

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Businesses should always be looking forward, spending time innovating and working to stay ahead of the curve (or create it!).  So it naturally follows that they should know what their customers, aka consumers, will want (this is more focused towards actual people rather than organizations).  And where are things headed?  Well, wouldn’t you like to know?  😛

tedSeriously though, I was actually inspired to write this by a TED video I watched where Joseph Pine that explains just that, so let me share its message (or you can just go watch it).  What companies should realize is that the newest frontier in what is valued economically is authentic experiences. Not sure what I mean?  Here, let me break it down for you:

  1. First there were commodities.  They were extracted from the planet and traded.  The key was to supply availability.
  2. Second there were goods.  They took commodities and made something from them.  The key was to control cost.
  3. Third there were services.  They concentrated on how they delivered the goods (and included plenty of customization).  The key was to improve quality.
  4. Now there are experiences.  They take services and stage them in such a way that you go for the entire package (customization of the service).  The key is to render authenticity.
photo credit: thedish.freedomblogging.com

photo credit: thedish.freedomblogging.com

Sprinkles has been a great example of a company that provides an experience.  Sure, people love the cupcakes for their novelty and such, but so many of them go to the store and line up for the entire experience, from the line itself to the door that must be kept shut to keep freshness in to the way they display the cupcakes.  I believe Kogi Korean BBQ operates similarly.  People love the entire experience of tracking down the trucks and standing in lines to order from this little mobile restaurant.

Let’s not forget other classics as well, like Disneyland, where it’s the fantasyland that has been created for you that is such a big draw.  People like to go there and experience other worlds, go on the rides, walk down Main Street, and meet the characters.  Similarly, Vegas is THE experience city of the world.  You go there to get immersed in everything it has to offer, from the gambling to the shows to the endless buffets.  Oh, and let’s not forget those shady people flicking cards of naked women at you (though I’m sure that’s not what you go for).

An interesting point brought up in this video is that all experiences are authentic.  Because to anyone experiencing it, it is real and it affects them.  So really, “authentic experience” is a bit redundant.  Yet on the other side of the coin, since businesses are man made, they are not “authentic” and thereby can’t supply “authentic” experiences.  So what it really comes down to is making the consumer perceive it as authentic.

Now authenticity comes in two forms: being true to yourself and being true to what you represent yourself to be.  Pine provides a nice little matrix here showing the four possibilities:

  1. Real Real: is what it says it is and is true to itself.
  2. Fake Fake: is not what it says it is and is not true to itself.
  3. Real Fake: is what it says it is but is not true to itself.
  4. Fake Real: is not what it says it is but is true to itself.
At night, you can immerse yourself in the stories they tell with the fireworks show.

At night, you can immerse yourself in the stories they tell with the fireworks show.

Disneyland, for example, is a Fake Real because it is not what it says it is (a magic kingdom), but it is true to itself (sticks to company values).  One important thing that businesses can lose track of is its identity, which then makes it impossible to stay true to themselves if they don’t even know what they are.  So on this end, I think it’s important to have values, missions, and goals that everyone knows about so the staff know what is expected and the consumers know what to expect.  Once that is identified, it really shapes the culture of the company, so then it’s just about staying in touch with what that means for all future endeavors.

So, the newest thing is to not only provide a good or service, but to package up the entire process of getting it into a desirable entity.  This could be anything from the ambiance created from decorations and uniforms/costumes to the unique experience itself (like studying at Starbucks or the do-it-yourself style of Build-A-Bear).  It’s the difference between a nail salon and a spa, where the former is more focused on providing the service (though some places add to the experience with massage chairs and drink services) and the latter is about the entire experience, where everything is designed to make you feel more relaxed and pampered.

I hope I’m not the only one who finds this interesting!

WordPress = blogobase?

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In trying to find a way to have a comprehensive database that anyone in the office can tap into when they need to look at research to help them plan new programs, Skim and I came across a problem.  Of the categories we had, there was no clear separation – most topics could stand on their own, but could also be subtopics of at least another topic.  It was impossible to organize it nicely, which made it a logistical nightmare.  What we needed was a way to cross reference readily and have intense searchability.

So what did I come up with?  Blogging.

Simple.  Clean.  Professional.

Simple. Clean. Professional.

Yup, since with a blog you can make each entry a “file” and use the categories to put it into “file cabinets” for a loose framework.  From there, tags can be added for cross-referencing and the search function allows you to search the entire text of posts to find relevant keywords.  Brilliant, no?  Blogs are truly a powerful tool and I don’t know if anyone ever considered it a database outright, but essentially that’s what it is.  For personal bloggers, it’s a database of their lives.  For professional bloggers, it’s a database for their expertise.  For companies, it’s a database for their development.  How awesome is that?  No wonder I love blogging.  So, now I would like to present you with a new term: blogobase.  A database housed on a blog.

This is far better than Access, which we were going to use, not only because it’s less confusing, but it’s far more accessible.  Initially people would have had to use the one PC in the office (seems only the transient staff own PCs – this place is Mac Heaven) to look at the information in the database.  As Slim and I slaved over idea after idea of how to make it work best in that program, we found it to be inadequate.  Now we don’t have to worry what platform people are on.  The internet comes to the rescue again and provides mobility and accessibility to our database so anyone anywhere (authorized, of course) can edit it as they need.  Ah, the beauty of group/shared blogs!

We’re still working on some of the details of making it even easier to browse (like displaying summaries rather than the full text for quicker scanning), but soon it’s going to be the grandfather of all databases.  All we have to do is get all relevant people to be authorized to post and we’ll have an ongoing internal development project!  Suddenly, boring data entry type work is exciting because we made it interesting by putting it in the form of a blog entry!  Skim and I are having a field day setting things up and I’m glad for my experience blogging, since it was so useful to draw from for inspiration.

This is why I think it’s important for everyone to pursue things they love and have a broad base of experiences.  After all, you never know what seemingly unrelated ideas you could link up, or what could inspired from something you remember doing, seeing, or hearing.  Creativity works at its best when it has a lot of random things to draw from and the freedom to start connecting those things until something strikes us.  Extracurriculars and personal development are key to this process!  I hope my other random experiences will value add to other aspects of my life as well.  There’s nothing quite as exhilarating as linking something you do for fun with work.

People pleaser & misunderstandings

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I’ve always been the type of person who will bend over backwards to try to anticipate what people want and do it.  At the expense of my personal enjoyment, I’ll let them have their way and enjoy something before I do.  I’m constantly proactively thinking about what I can do to not get in their way and to be more considerate to them in ways they may not notice, but would make a difference.  I’ve certainly not been completely successful and still step on people’s toes despite that foresight, but I still try, even if it means I’m always evaluating how other people might think.  It’s a tiring process and I’ve been jaded a few times, but I still tend to act that way.

More recently my strong-willed side has come out more and though I spend no less time thinking about how people would react to my actions, I care less.  After all, I can’t always live my life by everyone else’s rules and time and time again I’ve suppressed a lot to please someone else.  I’m worn out from years of giving, giving, giving.  Giving my time, my money, my energy, my resources.  I’ve got stepped on, walked over, and even trampled a few times that way when I allowed too much and didn’t stand up for myself.  So nowadays, I spend some time justifying my actions when they aren’t so people-pleasing.

Now this is how I'd like to work (and do at home) if I had to be at a desk.  photo credit: expresspros.com

Now this is how I'd like to work if I had to be at a desk. photo credit: expresspros.com

Take work for example.  My working style is erratic and varied, with plenty of distractions throughout the day.  I’m not the type of person to sit down and focus for hours on end, complete a task early, then call it a day.  Instead I meander through, sometimes chatting with others, sometimes checking e-mails or social networking sites, sometimes reading articles for personal enjoyment and enrichment.  All of this goes towards what I consider an important aspect of all our lives – personal improvement.

Often people get so caught up in their work that they don’t take the time to make themselves a better person, a better worker, a better friend.  I tend to focus on the gaining new knowledge aspect of it, but sometimes I’ll turn to my interpersonal skills as well.  This translates to a confusing picture for anyone looking over my shoulder, who will find that I have thirty tabs open at any given time and switch between them quite frequently.  To some, it may look like I’m slacking, but I’m too tired to try to make everyone understand.

So, I’ve been justifying it to myself: I still work quite efficiently overall and there are periods of intense focus (usually when nobody else is around).  The bosses know the product of my time and though we’ve talked about how I let my fear of failure hold me back, all feedback on the quality of my work has been positive.  My work is internal development, which is always ongoing and has no real deadline to meet.  Of course, I set incremental ones, but really I could be working until the cows come home and still have the bulk of work to do.  So, it’s not like I can just finish a project and be done for the day.  Put these together and that’s how I explain to myself why I don’t need to work like the others do.  It’s not my style.

photo credit: art.com

photo credit: art.com

I almost don’t care what the others may think of what they see.  I used to worry that people would think I napped too much, but that’s just another way that my body copes with work.  I’ve come to the point where if I need to rest, I will, and for as long as my body tells me to.  Whereas before I may have tried to hide that fact by sneaking to a corner or setting an alarm so I didn’t sleep for extended periods, now I am accepting my personal work style.  It’s extremely unconventional and I’m lucky that this environment is very flexible and forgiving.

I guess that’s why I’m so adamant about not getting a typical desk job.  I know I’d fall asleep in the middle of the day.  I know I’d get antsy and want to move around or just surf around a bit online.  For me, it’s still a part of my creative and learning processes, so it’s not exactly time wasted.  I don’t know how I could stand to show up to work at 9 every day, sit and focus, take a lunch break, then complete the day and leave.  It’s such a stale routine.

Though I try a bit less to please everyone now (which, of course, is impossible, since not everyone will know all the factors and will often misinterpret things), I am still often concerned with it.  However, I’ve learned to not always change my behavior to fit what I think others want.  In fact, it turns out that some of the things that I have been doing that I thought were considerate was being seen as strange behavior.  Suddenly being independent was being seen as being aloof and being conservative with resources was being strangely stingy.  I guess I’m screwed no matter what.

Asian on the outside, Asian-American through and through.

Asian on the outside, Asian-American through and through.

It only struck me here that I am so strongly Westernized and even though Singapore has huge Western influences, it is still very much an Asian society at heart.  The things that I do that I never had a problem with before are suddenly all problematic.  There are many layers to the misunderstandings that have occured, but much of it stems from the cultural divide.  Just like I am deceptively Asian with my standard Mandarin accent, Singaporeans are deceptively Western with their lifestyles, but deep down, it’s a completely different story.

I guess the hardest thing is that people expect me to know all the nuances of Asian culture because I look the part.  They hear past my American accent and only see my Chinese face and assume that I know what it’s like in an Asian culture.  But in fact, I left the country when I was only three and have since spent twenty years in the states.  It wasn’t even until I moved to California nearly seven years ago that I met so many other Asians.  The bulk of my childhood was spent among white people (the Midwest doesn’t offer much diversity).

I wonder about all the things that I must have done as a child visiting in China (that I didn’t even realize were different) that my relatives just wrote off as a trait of being “the American” one.

Gecko mystery

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I'm quite sure that's where he sneaks in.

I'm quite sure that's where he sneaks in.

For many weeks now, at least once or twice a week I will arrive in the office in the morning to find a “gift” left behind by one troublesome gecko, who seems to think that my desk is his personal toilet.  At first it was a little dropping in the middle of the desk, but now I’m finding far more messy sloshes that make me think this sucker has diarrhea or something.  It’s quite annoying since he’s started to poo on my papers, which means I’m constantly throwing things out.  There was even one time this week I found some on the handle of my scissors!  It’s really quite annoying and disturbing and I wonder why it always comes to my desk.  Does my desk have a particularly appealing arrangement?  Is it just because it’s closest to where he enters from?  Do I leave some sort of odor that he likes?  We thought it was because I’m under a beam, but Lorry’s desk is as well and he’s only been visited twice.

Isn't that nice?

Isn't that nice?

I’ve been trying to put myself in its position to understand what is causing it to choose my desk night after night.  But of course, I don’t really know what or how a gecko thinks, so I’m left with a lot of unfounded and untestable theories.  Lovely.  Many people have been telling me various remedies for keeping them away (dried fruit peels of a citrus nature), but I don’t exactly have oranges lying around that I can peel and dry.  I considered slathering a bit of my lotion along the wall border and the things it targets most, but I’m afraid it will actually like the sweet smell.  Whoever knew a little gecko could be such a nuisance?  All this time they were just cute and sort of wall ornaments that scurried around, but now I don’t like them so much.

Sometimes I wish I could put video surveillance on my desk at night and watch remotely what exactly happens.  Does he come just to leave something on my desk?  Does he linger around and in the process leave his business here?  I’m quite curious if he comes for the purpose of pooing or if there’s something else and that’s just a remnant of his visit.  Then I can decide if it’s malicious intent or unfortunate coincidence!  Not that that really changes anything, but hey, a questioning mind wants to know.

Parenthood

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Yesterday afternoon, unbeknownst to us, Typea became an uncle when his sister Chuckles gave birth to a little baby girl!  We found out much later that night and now I will just refer to him as Uncle, haha.  I’ve gotten a chance to chat with Chuckles a few times and she showed me some of the stuff they got for the baby, including a small bathtub, soft wrap thing, camera, and video camera.  I’ve always had this sort of fear and aversion of pregnant women, but somehow I felt nothing of the sort with her.  Perhaps it is because she held herself so well and dressed in ways that did not look awkward.  I saw a pregnant woman at the mall just recently and I definitely did not like her ‘belly half peeking out’ look.

A few months ago I also came across some pictures of an old high school classmate who had given birth to a boy and looked at some of her pictures.  Just yesterday I came across more shots and the boy has grown quite a bit!  It also struck me how strange it was to tell Panda that the baby was not even 24 hours old yet when I informed him.  That made me think of how quickly babies change in the first days, weeks, months, and years of their lives.  After a certain point, noticeable change occurs much less frequently and days become a little less meaningful and sometimes lost among the hubbub of activities.  So it’s quite cool to have the prospect of seeing a baby only days old soon.

photo credit: centralutahpublichealth.com

photo credit: centralutahpublichealth.com


It also makes me wonder about a lot of things that you normally wouldn’t think of (or at least that I’ve never really thought of), like what contractions feel like and how newborn feels and how the body looks immediately after birth – do you just deflate, in a way?  A few weeks ago we got a visit from a couple who brought their newborn and I remember the mother saying that the baby was too young to be fussy yet, since she was taking in so much of the environment.  Then last night Chatty was telling me how you’ve gotta understand that the baby went from a warm environment so safe and cushy to a completely new one, with light and sounds and probably air conditioning too.  I never really thought of the transition for the baby, from everything provided by the mother to fending for itself (in a sense).  But it totally makes sense that they cry and sleep a lot, since there’s so much to adapt to and so much to learn and process.

When it’s my turn, I don’t think I want to rely on books and advice from strangers.  As Chatty said, it’s from their own experience, but you must spend the time to get to know your own baby.  Why is she crying?  Is she cold?  Is she hungry?  What does she like?  These are all things that you learn with experience and I want to do it the old-fashioned way, without guidelines that I fall upon, but instead using some common sense and trial and error.  Maybe that sounds terrible to some (why ignore all the resources?), but other than practicing how to hold an infant and learning about some basic skills, I don’t plan on seeking tips from outside sources.

After all, I don’t want to raise a kid like everyone else, especially with the way I see the younger generation turning out.  I’ve got my own values and philosophy in terms of how to raise a kid and I’m sure much of it will be adjusted to fit with how we want our family to be.  So really, it’s a discovery journey for us to embark on and not a beaten path for us to follow.  I also don’t want to become dependent on a manual, flipping through each time the baby cries to figure out what might be wrong.  I just don’t want there to be a tradeoff in effort to learn on my part because there are piles of books available to do the dirty work for me.  Babies aren’t plug and play toys and shouldn’t be treated as such.

Midsummer celebration

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Our office hosted a dinner party for two dozen people tonight and it was a spectacular time!  It started with a fun invitation specially made for the occasion, with a fanciful menu to entice our guests. In the mid afternoon, Lorry and Starfish left to buy food to prepare and when they came back everyone started hustling to help make the dishes and entertain the guests.  The invited ranged from SMU students who had done a case study on our company culture to associates and potential associates of the training branch.  It was a good chance for us to properly meet some of the people Zen had been mentioning (and for them to all meet each other too).  The whole affair felt a bit like a big extended family gathering, complete with feast, courtesy C&S.

Pictures will show this better than words can describe, so let me include tasty visuals of the menu items offered:

Crunchy snacks and wine to start.

Crunchy snacks and wine to start.

Seasonal salad with summer dressings.

Seasonal salad with summer dressings.

DSC04941

Baked potatoes with sour cream, bacon bits, and chives.

Bruschetta with rubbed garlic and fresh tomatoes.

Bruschetta with rubbed garlic and fresh tomatoes.

Prosciutto with cantaloupe.

Prosciutto with cantaloupe.

Smoked Norwegian salmon with caper and cream cheese.

Smoked Norwegian salmon with caper and cream cheese.

Choice cold cut of ham and cheddar cheese cube.

Choice cold cut of ham and cheddar cheese cube.

Spit roast whole chicken.

Spit roast whole chicken.

Honey-glazed ribs of pork.

Honey-glazed ribs of pork.

I don't remember what this was.

I don't remember what this was.

C&S cheese cubes!

C&S cheese cubes!

Belgian waffles, strawberries, marshmallows, and cookie sticks with dark chocolate bath.

Belgian waffles, strawberries, marshmallows, and cookie sticks with dark chocolate bath.

We had a lovely time between the food and the company and I started to lose my voice from the great conversations and laughter I took part in.  After the event was over, we all pitched in to clean up and ended the night happily collapsed in our seats unwinding before heading home.  Initially, we were going to share the pictures I took on Photobucket, but then decided it was more sensible to set up a Facebook page, which I happily set out to do.  After some detours I inadvertantly chanced upon, we finally got it up and running!  Now everyone can become our fan!

Flying free

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , , , ,
2

I’ve always preferred to be unconventional.  From the more normal things, like being a little outrageous here and there to more trend-setting or baffling behavior, I’m far happier doing that than what is average and common.  Just looking at me though, you may not expect me to do such things and in observing me, you may not think I really break out of the mold that much.  Well, much of that is just due to circumstance – these little unusual things I do happened to me, so it doesn’t look like I’m actively seeking them out.  This goes for the way I’ve gotten jobs to the unexpected behavior that I may exhibit randomly.

For starters, I’m hugely independent, so I don’t like being like others.  However, this sometimes battles with the part of me that is very complacent and a “good girl.”  So you’ll find that my rebellions and the way that I stand out is still somehow buried in the acceptable context and framework of societal expectations.  Still, I like to feel like I have the space to spread my wings and fly around as I need to.  Part of my fear of settling down somewhere is how stifled I will feel not getting the constant exposure to new neighborhoods, subcultures, and experiences that I got as a child moving around so much.  I’ve gotten used to that pattern of life: show up somewhere as the “new kid,” make some friends and try to fit in somewhere, then move on to the next place and start over again.

What other job lets you have tea with such guests?

What other job lets you have tea with such guests?

As for jobs, the great majority of them involved moving around or doing things on my own time and that’s exactly what I want to do now.  After all, it’s been my dream to be an entrepreneur for many years now!  Unfortunately, my parents are having trouble accepting this and just want to see me get a steady job with insurance and benefits.  Yup, as long as I can get health insurance and some other more standard benefits that come from working a typical job, they’re happy.  Sad to say that’s exactly what I don’t want.  I don’t want a desk job and I certainly don’t like working a 9-5 shift.  So what can I do that offers me full benefits and allows me to move around all the time, setting my own work hours?  I can’t think of much, or really anything at all.

I’ve been dreaming of doing some freelance work here and there to bring in some money as I find the resources to start my own business.  But alas, I’ve got parental pressures to consider, though I know how dreadful a “normal” job would be for me.  Even now I find I easily lose focus when I’m not particularly interested in a task or not in the right state of mind or mood.  At least here there is flexibility to move around if need be, working from the couch, the high desk, the big table, or my own desk.  Plus, I get enough new tasks that I can spread out my work and do a little bit of this, a little bit of that, with some personal readings and whatnot in between.  I’m scared of what I’d find in a standard (stifled) corporate environment.

So, what am I to do?  I defiantly told my dad how I don’t want to sit at a desk all day and I’d rather not earn money or have insurance than suffer through that.  My stubbornness and strong will is not allowing me to back down or compromise, though it’s not like I’m eliminating a job just because it involves sitting at a desk.  Maybe I can start with a franchise and go from there, but really, what entrepreneur doesn’t take risks and often not earn much for years?  I just don’t see how health insurance factors in before my personal mental and emotional well-being, even if I do understand why it’s so important to my parents.

I didn’t really rebel as a teenager, so I feel like I’m at that stage now.  Suddenly I have all these ideas and things I want to try, but I’m just so misunderstood by my parents.  😛  Do I sound like an angsty teen yet?  But seriously, now is the time to take risks, before I have so much to lose, no?  What’s the worst that can happen?  I fall flat on my face and have to resort to a boring, normal life for awhile.  It’s not like I’m incapable of earning income; it’s just that pretty much every way I can get a reliable one is completely undesirable to me.

I wish I had more freedom to fly.

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