It’s been awhile since I’ve read some of the blogs I used to follow loosely, so today I took a look at my Google Reader. One of the ones I’d stumbled upon had written its last and final post at 999 or 1000, over the course of five years. So often, people start a blog fresh and excited, then it wanes into a duty before it fizzles out after a few weeks, months, or years. Blogging hasn’t really been around for people to do it for decades, but I doubt many would ever make it that far anyway. What is it about maintaining writing that is so difficult? Many a time I’ve been told by people that they once kept a journal or diary, only to have it fade away after awhile. (This is after I told them I had been keeping a daily journal since 4th grade.)
Even I haven’t lasted forever and 13 years into writing those journal entries, I have stopped to take a breather (nearly 50 volumes in!). It is always in my heart to go back and fill in those missing days, but as the days go on, the feasibility goes down. Nevertheless, I still faithfully document my life in one way or another – via photos, blog posts, e-mails, tweets, and random memos to myself. It’s a habit I don’t intend to kick, this need to have a record of my life, my past. I guess it’s easier for me because I took it when I was young and made it a habit, a need. Even now, not having a written journal keeping track of my life doesn’t sit well with me.
People go through a lot of changes in their lives and it only makes sense that this is one of those fluid things that comes and goes. For me, the need to remember details of my life remain, but the medium through which I do that depends on how I develop as a person. Makes me wonder how long this will last…
I’ve been really preoccupied with work lately. When I’m there, I don’t think about personal things, and when I’m home, I’m tired and just want to relax, which has meant the e-mails in my Yahoo account are piling up. I’ve managed to go through them this weekend, but there are quite a few newsletters that will probably go unread for months. I don’t follow my social networks the way I used to and I’m just barely pumping out posts here. For some reason, I’ve been really tired during the time I’m at home. Plus, the Olympics have been a nice distraction, which makes it easy for me to never think about turning on my computer. Let’s not even go into the problems I’ve been having with my charger. I’m about ready for a new computer.
It’s been a month now, so I hope that I can get into a better rhythm that fits work, sleep, meals, entertainment, exercise, relaxation, and quality time all in one nice bundle. I don’t have much energy for cooking dinner, which hasn’t been good, so I really need to start getting more sleep. The good thing is, one of the guys at the office told me about an app that lets you track your sleeping cycles! I looked into it and found the Sleep Cycle Alarm Clock, which will monitor your sleeping pattern and wake you up during a lighter sleep stage so it’s easier to get up and you feel more rested. It’s a really awesome app that you should go check out if you have trouble getting up in the morning! I’ve only used it one night, so it’s still calibrating to my sleeping pattern, but it could be quite useful in the future. For a buck, more energy and less time wasted pressing snooze is totally worth it.
Right after I wrote about the doggies at the office yesterday, of course two new ones had to come in today! So of course, I can’t help but add them to the mix:
Sophie, a feisty little one!
Then came Bumblebee from upstairs, the most complacent one of all.
He kept making rounds around the office and occasionally stirring up trouble with Sophie, who wasn't happy he was there.
I was watching this video of Aimee Mullins about adversity, and the thing that struck me, strangely enough, was not her main message, but the moment when she spoke of “childlike curiosity.” I do agree with her message and the powerful way that language sets a precursor, as well as the strength of the human spirit. So I suppose that’s why everything else she said didn’t hit me the way that the reference to curiosity being childlike did.
Why did that part stand out? Well, because I wondered why attributes like wonder and curiosity and innocence are so often described as “childlike.” It’s as if we no longer recognize that adults can be like that and when they are, it’s a rare thing. What’s wrong with “adult-like” curiosity? What has happened in our society that makes everything children do so great and everything that adults “grow into” so bad? Actually, I think that’s exactly what happens because of society. Because we have this sort of structure, at a certain age, things like responsibility and maturity take hold. Expectations develop into more serious ones and we lose much of our freedom to do what we want, enjoy as we like, and not worry too much.
The good thing is that it seems our culture is more and more tolerant of “childlike” activities in adults. After all, records of generations past make them seem rather rigid, but that could just be because what is recorded is not the playful silly moments shared, but the serious and “important” moments had. Nevertheless, I still do feel that generally we are heading towards habits that allow more carefree expressions from older people. I just hope that soon we can progress to such a point that people who sing in public because they are happy aren’t given strange looks as if they’ve lost their minds. Or that fully-grown men and women can get child’s meals without feeling shameful.
Speaking of, why is it that small portions are only allowed to those under a certain age? It’s like the problem with McDonald’s Super Size meals – when you offer larger portions, people will get them*. And when they get them, they try their very best to finish the portions in front of them. So why not just offer smaller sizes and alleviate this pressure that people have looking at their uneaten food? I think we still stuff ourselves full much of the time because of our hunting and gathering days, when food wasn’t so easy to come by. Nowadays, it’s far too easy to overeat, and judging adults who want to get a “child’s” meal is part of the problem.
Personally, I believe in expressing your joy. People sometimes find me too enthusiastic or hyper when I am happy and excited. Generally, they enjoy it, though they are wary and wonder if I’m just a bit cuckoo. But why is that? Why can’t I burst into song because it was playing in my head? Why can’t I be giddy over the smallest victories? Why can’t I jump around and share my positive emotions? Well, I can. Just not without being judged. And that’s ok, I’m used to being judged. When I’m happy, I’m happy and I’ll show it if I want to. I think more people should.
I hope that people will learn to stop putting up the walls around themselves and open themselves up the way they did before society taught them otherwise. I think that’s what people mean when they refer to those childlike qualities. It’s freeing yourself from the bounds that society puts you in, even if just a little. Let’s not become drones and make all the motions going through life without experiencing and enjoying the way we did before the clamps started to pin us down.
*The issue of portion size and the poor eating habits is up for discussion in a future post – ironically, I just watched another TED video, this time about America’s (and now the world’s) eating problem.
Ever since I was young, I’ve had trouble with eye contact. Whenever I look into people’s eyes, I find that I can’t hold the gaze for long, and I either start to look at random things that surround us or other parts of their face. It all stems from extreme shyness in my childhood, when I was too scared to look at people, so I stared at their noses or eyebrows instead. Even nowadays, I find it hard to hold someone’s gaze, perhaps because I find it to be so intimate. Eyes have always been my favorite body part. Looking straight into them distracts me from the conversation at hand. I get lost and my mind spins. Eyes are far too intense. I’m still working on it, but I think this is such a deep-seeded childhood habit that I don’t know if I will ever overcome it completely.
Firefighters in California have adopted a fire suppression policy for over a century now, which works very effectively in the underbrush type fires of Northern California, but do very little to stop the brush type fires of Southern California. In fact, wildfires are still occurring increasingly year after year, with over 99% of the ones in coastal Southern California started by human activity. It’s not just an issue of how we fight the fires; it’s how we prepare ourselves to prevent the fires.
Much of the problem arises with urban sprawl. As our communities push further out into the undeveloped land surrounding us, we not only put ourselves at risk of being in the path of a wildfire, we are more in danger of starting them. Since fires are something humans feel they can control, more or less, there is often a misconception that we can just stop the unwanted ones from happening. However, that is not the case, especially since our homes are teeming with highly flammable materials, including the very palm trees swaying our backyards. Fires are bound to break out, whether caused by humans or nature.
So, we should follow Dr. Jon E. Keeley’s advice: think of wildfires like we do of earthquakes. We certainly don’t go around trying to patch up the San Andreas Fault, and neither should we try to stop all the brushfires from igniting. As a matter of fact, in a study conducted by Keeley and Fotheringham in 2000, they found that chaparrals (native plants in Southern California) need periodic wildfires to help their seedlings grow! It’s actually the smoke and chemicals from charred wood that allow the seeds of chaparral to germinate, otherwise they lay dormant.
Chapparals have adapted to the wildfires that swept the area every decade or two and now need them to continue to survive. That’s not to say that the increased frequency of wildfires is a good thing, though! When fires occur too frequently, native chaparrals die before they get a chance to recover and soon the hillsides are replaced by non-native weeds and dry vegetation. These new plants are far less resistant to burning, increasing the frequency of fires, which spread to kill off even more native plants. And thus the cycle continues, to the point that of the nine megafires (fires that burned more than 100,000 acres) in the past century, half occurred in just the last six years.
So how should we deal with the wildfires? Well, to start off with, it would be smart to NOT build homes and developments in high-risk areas, which experts have identified. Then, for those homes that are already on the fringe of wild land, clear out the vegetation in a 100-yard radius. Also, homeowners should be cognizant of the materials in and around their homes. Palm trees in particular are dangerous because they are extremely flammable. Embers flying from a burning palm tree in your yard could then ignite a fire on nearby structures. Finally, we should accept that wildfires are part of the cycle of life for our local vegetation and have a plan like we do for earthquakes.
I have a thing with phones. First, I don’t really use them. I don’t really enjoy spending hours on them chit-chatting, but I do like using them for business purposes (what can I say? I’m a customer service kind of person). Besides, for the most part, my cell phone is buried somewhere in the depths of my purse and digging for it is not worth the effort. (Especially considering the calls I tend to get – telemarketers and pre-recorded messages.) I guess I enjoy landlines better because they’re easier to find and I don’t need to worry about a signal. However, we had a whole slew of wireless handsets at the Opportunity Green office and they seemed to mysteriously get sucked away from the front room towards the back as the day progressed. Eventually, we’d be at a loss for where the phone was ringing from! It really was amazing and the fact that the stand rings too certainly made it harder for us locate them.
It also doesn’t help that I don’t like checking voicemails. So many are unimportant and unsolicited calls and I usually have to listen multiple times to make out what people are saying, either because their connection was spotty or they spoke really fast. Others can drag on when I’d rather call them back to discuss in detail, or get an e-mail with the 20 points they just listed out verbally. It makes it easier for me to remember and review! In that regard, thank goodness for Google Voice! They let me go through my voicemails in any order, so I can skip the junk ones. Plus, they transcribe the voicemails so I can read them and listen to the ones that look important. Though it can ultimately save me time, their transcriptions haven’t been that accurate. Ironically, the text message they sent me alerting me to my new voicemail was more accurate than the transcription I found when I logged in online. What gives?
So, phones, though a great way to contact people, are not my preferred way to staying in touch. I’m more of a get together in real life type of person. I prefer to use phones to call/text people to figure out how/when we can get together. Of course, if I won’t be seeing one for ages and e-mailing or Facebooking just isn’t doing it, a long phone conversation is nice. However, it’s usually sufficient to stay in touch online while we can’t meet up, since most of the people I hang out with live in the same general area. Also, it’s great to have a phone on you at all times in case you need to call someone to remind them of something, let them know you’re almost there, ask for directions, or other such things that you can’t do if you’re like me and don’t want to pay for internet usage on your phone.
Anyone else like to use phones for no-nonsense purposes only? Or is the world addicted to their Bluetooth headsets as they chat away while on the go? It still cracks me up when people look like they’re talking to themselves (or seem like they may be talking to you) when in fact they’ve got a little ear piece hidden behind their hair and they’ve got another person on the line. Whatever happened to being more present?
I think it’s time to address a recent addiction of mine (and Panda’s). About two months ago, he got wind of this site called Swagbucks, which I had actually signed up for two months before that. Basically it’s a search engine (powered by Google and Ask) that rewards you for using it by giving you points, or Swag Bucks. The exact algorithm for deciding who gets Swag Bucks when is unknown, but it seems to correlate with popular searches and IP addresses. You pretty much just go about your searching throughout the day and get really happy when you see this:
And then you rejoice! When you collect enough of this currency, you go to the Swag Store and redeem a prize. So far I’ve opted for the $5 Paypal each time, since I figure cash can be used any way and there’s nothing in the store that I really want. Right now that’s available for 70 Swag Bucks, which takes me about 2.5-3 weeks to earn. So in these two months I’ve earned $15 worth! Not bad, eh?
Plus, pretty consistently throughout the week, there are Swag Codes given out, which are worth anywhere from 1 to 5 Swag Bucks. Codes might be found on the widget (which I have up on my contact page), the toolbar (which you need to download), on the blog, through their Twitter feed, or on affiliate sites. Just about every day there is a new one put out there somewhere, so it’s a bit of a scavenger hunt to discover them. Sometimes they’re unique and regenerated for each user, while other times they are a common one that everyone can use. They’re all set to expire within a few hours of being put up and you’re not supposed to post active codes and apparently that can get you banned, as does unnaturally excessive searching.
I felt so rich when I got this!
To make things more interesting, there are also themed days, like Twitter contests on Tuesdays and Thursdays and Megabuck Fridays (where it’s easier to get multiple Swag Bucks). Every now and then, a predictive poll is put out, where all those in Swag Nation (also known as Swaggernauts) guess the result of something, like the Heismann Trophy winner or the gas price in the new year (both of which we got right). For getting those polls right, Swaggernauts are rewarded with a code worth multiple Swag Bucks, but only for a limited time! The gas price one was out for only an hour, but was worth 5 Swag Bucks. That’s big money in Swagland!
Panda and I have both been pretty into it, telling each other when we get a Swag Buck, which then fuels the desire of the other one to get one too. In that way we’ve had a lot of fun sharing and competing. It keeps things interesting and challenging! I probably wouldn’t have gotten into it had it not been for him and now we keep each other going. I’m glad that we have these little bonding moments throughout the week and I know that my account would have sat there inactive for many more months had it not been for him! So if you’re into free things, you should go try it out as well. Enjoy! 🙂
[edit jan.14.2010] So I started to notice I was getting Swag Bucks really quickly and to my surprise, I got two new referrals! I get a Swag Buck for each one they earn from searching, up to 100. Then one of my old referrals finally began to use his! This is really exciting. If you’re interested, message me so I can invite you to my group where we tell each other when Swag Codes are out so you don’t miss them as easily.
I realized that I don’t speak much of Panda except mentioning him here and there. But in terms of our relationship, I haven’t delved much into it. I thought I’d write more about how our relationship developed, but it’s one of those things that’s nice to just do and not have to reflect on. So, to meet my expectation in setting up this blog that I would at least cover our relationship somewhat, here are some thoughts…
It’s been a year and a half since we met and things have changed tremendously. We managed to make things work around busy schedules and even a couple of months apart. I was a little nervous coming back from Singapore, wondering how things might have changed after so long of only interacting virtually. Thankfully, we quickly eased back into each other’s lives and had a painless transition. He taught me to use coupons and pay attention to the price of food I buy and I taught him that life should just be enjoyed sometimes. We’ve built a rhythm and style of interaction that only we share, with plenty of inside jokes to be remembered. We’ve shared laughs and cries and hugs and kisses and plenty of food as well.
It’s hard to imagine a life without him and I certainly don’t plan on it. I can tell him every little thing and I often admire just how cute he is. He’s got the gentlest soul and so much heart that it touches me deeply. He’s done a lot of behind the scenes things to take care of me and is usually cleaning up after me. I’m not a very neat person. I am organized in my own messy way. We’ve learned to compromise on some things, change for others, and still many have to be worked out. We developed a pattern for many of the things we do and we’ve created so many memories already. We’ve made a variety of loose plans for the future, both for ourselves and for us as a couple.
Of course, things are not perfect and he hasn’t had much experience with what high maintenance a girl’s emotions can be. The way I interpret things is not something he can think of naturally, so it’s a challenge. I have high standards and I let him know exactly when I am not pleased with him. He always cares so much and wants to do right by me, but often just doesn’t know how. I have been extremely demanding at times, not giving him a break. But the good thing is, we almost always want to talk it out and don’t just stop speaking to each other. And with a lot of back and forth, I think we both learn a lot in the process.
So all in all it’s been a great ride and I’m excited for the years ahead. And now that I’ve covered the relationship, I probably won’t really talk about it again. It’s probably the only thing that I like to keep private. 🙂
My philosophy is simple: things change. Therefore, we are all on a lifelong journey of discovery. We should be flexible, questioning, learning, adapting, and growing. Always.
little fat notebook pays homage to Mead's "fat lil' notebooks" that I use to write down any thoughts that strike me throughout the day. I keep one by my side at all times. After all, inspiration waits for no one.
