Posts Tagged ‘work’

Listless

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , , , , , , ,
2

I’m frustrated.

job searchThis bad economy has made it very difficult for me to find a job and I’m starting to get impatient.  Here I am, at 5 (well, now nearly 8 that I’m posting this…) in the morning, still not sleeping because I’m so angst-filled I can’t.  I can only stare at job listings for so many hours a day, day in and day out, before it all becomes a blur and what I want becomes too similar to what’s out there.  Let’s not even get into the pain of sorting through the legitimate stuff and the sketchy postings.  My parents keep telling me to just get a job first and then worry about getting one I actually want.  However, I just can’t do that.  I can loosen my desired fields and responsibilities, but I am not going apply for every single job I am close to qualified for.  I’d just end up doing something I won’t care about to want to get up in the morning.  Plus, no matter how temporary, it’d be a job I’d have to stick with for a couple of months at the least.

I have this terrible fear that if I get started in a position that is too whatever-focused, I’m going to end up doing that for far too long for me to be happy.  Not that I need to be happy all the time, of course.  Right now the thought of the whole job hunt makes me cringe, but I do it because I need to support myself.  I’d love a job that’s a little bit of this and that, touching on many of my interests.  I don’t want to get restricted to just one area.  Am I being too short-sighted?  I’d love to get into some of the areas I’ve worked in, but I also don’t want to drown in them.  Also, it’d be great to work for a non-profit, but I will need to learn how a for-profit works.  Everything I do now I’d hope would be useful for me in the future as an entrepreneur.  And sure, all of the above would be great for that, but what I really want is something in the green space and/or at UCLA.  (That’s not all that I’m applying for, of course.)

I don’t really know why I am so stubborn, however I have applied for plenty of jobs that may not fit the bill of what I want perfectly, but would be something I care about enough to work hard at and have enough experience in to make a real contribution.  Unfortunately, I’m not exactly hearing back yet.  I have experience in a lot of areas, but not extensive in any particular area.  I wonder if that’s hurting me.  It’s also extremely difficult to figure what exactly is an entry-level job!  The job I really wanted I lost out to someone who’s been working for 3-5 years, I believe.  With all these people who have anywhere from 1 to 5 years edge on me, how do I leverage myself?  The competition these days is harsh and I am always up against people with more/better experience.

On the bright side, I’m going to speak with the boss at my internship next week to go over what I want to learn while I’m there and what I want to do in terms of work.  Perhaps she’ll have some useful suggestions in mind.  I just wish she could have leads too.  I had an evaluation with my manager before she left last week and she gave me great feedback.  I also hear a lot of good words from the boss.  All of that’s great, but I need it to work for me in terms of landing a full-time position somewhere.  I can only work for free for so long.  In fact, it’s already been too long and I am itching to have benefits so I can finally get my teeth checked, buy new contacts, and perhaps even get a physical.  I also can’t wait to not have to ask my parents to help me out.  I’m ready to be fully self-sufficient!

But of course, all this comes at the price of finding a job I can enjoy (at least most of the time), be qualified for, and contribute to in a meaningful way.  It’s not fair to a company to pretend I love the position to land the job only to leave them as soon as I can get another one I truly want.  I just worry that there are too many positions I’ve dismissed because I couldn’t imagine myself doing those tasks for 40 hours a week.  Maybe it wouldn’t be as bad I imagine to focus on something that is not my strongest interest.  Guess we’ll see as I continue this (seemingly) endless struggle.

Baring all on Facebook

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , , , , , ,
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facebookI came across an article today detailing the dangers of giving too much away on Facebook.  People are forced to make a choice between sharing whatever they want with their friends and not “friending” anyone at work or being very cautious of what they share on their accounts and allowing people from their company to view their profile.  To a certain extent, I can understand why it is important to be more reserved and not let your wildest personal moments leak into your professional life.  However, I think some companies have taken things too far and are basically stalking their employees.  Are we not allowed a mistake here and there?  A fun day/night/weekend out with our friends?

One of the unfortunate side effects of being involved in social media is that sometimes people get to know you too much.  Whereas previously what you do on your own time rarely made it back to the office, now people don’t need to run into you to find out what you’ve been up to.  Plus, since we list our professional affiliations on our profiles, we are judged much more harshly for what we do, since it also reflects upon the company we work for.  It’s human nature to see one bad instance and suddenly discredit the person entirely, or even the organization(s) they belong to.  And so, corporations begin to crack down on this to prevent their name from being tainted by an individual within.

I’ve always struggled with how much to share.  I innately want to share much more than I probably should at times, but hiding aspects of my life just feels fake to me.  I don’t want to go around living some sort of secret, underground existence!  I don’t do things I’d be ashamed of and though I may not always do things I could tell my parents, I never do something I couldn’t tell my friends.  Some people in the world may be too uptight to appreciate some of the fun I have, but should I limit myself just because of them?  Am I not allowed to participate in silly things like Undie Run?  Am I not allowed to express my femininity in a photo shoot?  My actions aren’t always G-rated, but they’re PG-13 (which is probably the best you’re going to get from young adults!).  That’s pretty mild, yet I still feel unsure sometimes about how older generations will view me from a single picture they may have seen.

I would hope that any employer who stalks me on Facebook would be realistic enough to understand that the two or three times a year I do something unconventional do not define who I am.  I mean, I don’t curse, don’t drink, don’t smoke, and don’t even have a coffee/caffeine dependency!  If I’ve got the discipline to maintain that despite everything that’s going around me, certainly I can be trusted to have some responsible fun occasionally.  In the future when I’m running my own venture, I’d want to have a culture that accepts the alter-egos people sometimes have on their own time.  I saw a company that gives two “I just didn’t want to get out of bed” days to their employees annually because they recognize that sometimes you may not have a family emergency or be sick enough to get a day off, but you really need one anyway.  Now there’s a company that understands that employees are people!

Opportunity Green Conference 2009

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , , , , , , ,
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opportunity green 2009It’s been a long and exhausting weekend for us at Opportunity Green, as we worked long and hard to throw a fantastic conference for everyone.  A lot of lessons have been learned on my end, watching how the intensely crazy registration panned out for us and getting a behind-the-scenes look at how things were running.  We didn’t expect so many people to show up to the event, so it was challenging to handle the overload in capacity, but it’s great that we got so many interested people to attend.  All in all I had a rewarding experience, getting great feedback from participants who were so thankful and appreciative!

Working the registration table for Speakers, Sponsors, and Press!

Working the registration table for speakers, sponsors, and press!

I’ve also had some fabulous conversations come out of these past couple of days, as I randomly chatted with other volunteers, a few sponsors, and some of the attendees.  It’s wonderful that people are so friendly and most were very patient with us.  Granted, registration delays were probably expected for those who showed up without being registered online already.  Things also worked so well because we had dedicated interns diligently working from the wee morning hours til late in the evening, volunteering our entire weekend to make this event happen.  Of course, the OG full-timers were working even harder, sleeping less, staying longer, but never complaining about how exhausted they must have been.

Many a time we had to be resourceful, giving, and downright creative to get the work done, but as one of our staff pointed out, we never lost our cool.  It never occurred to me just how useful that must have been in keeping everything running smoothly, but it’s true!  I suppose that’s a large part of why the participants were so enthusiastic about their experience at the conference, because they never saw any of the fires we were putting out throughout the day.  That’s exactly how things should be!  It will get hectic and overwhelming at an event of this scale, but with everyone working the event being level-headed and patient, we got through just fine.

Now it’s time to enjoy the trappings I did manage to get from the conference (like these awesome bamboo USB drives from MINI USA and a lovely Whitelines notebook) and let my body recover.  Everything aches or throbs and my mind is so cloudy I keep on making typo errors, but I’m glad to know that tomorrow I will have no more physically draining activities.  Rather, I’ll be working hard on my sample entries for Change.org, as I apply to be a freelance blogger for them while I look for a job and try to get more involved in the green space.

Ultimately (in professional terms)

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , , , , , ,
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In the struggle to find a job to even begin a career with, I’ve had quite a lot of time to think of where I want to go in my professional life.  I’ve known for a long time that I want to start my own company (or maybe even many).  In fact, I’m going to say I will start my own company.  I just haven’t quite settled on what it will be yet, though I’ve been thinking eco-consulting for awhile now.  But I’ve realized that that is not what I want to do ultimately.  It’s a milestone that I will cross at some point, however well or poorly it goes.  But ultimately?  I’d like to be an angel investor, making sure the solutions I see in life are executed.

Of course that means that I will need to somehow become super rich first.  When I told Ninja that what I really want is to be really rich, he was like, “Duh, don’t we all?”  When I went on to explain why, however, he understood that I wasn’t making just a shallow comment.  I want to make a difference in this world and there are so many places I can see myself doing that, if only I had the money!  I would really just love to spend my time thinking of solutions to problems I see and then finding the best people to execute them.  I’d set them up with the resources they need and give them whatever guidance necessary to get them on their way.  From there, I’d hope they’d be able to take over and run a profitable and socially-conscious enterprise.  If I could do this, then I’d start a company like Mary Qin, Inc., to be a holding company for all those little niche companies I could create.

I’d go about getting a sensible public transportation system, sharing riding system, or something set up for the Los Angeles area to ease the traffic and pollution problems.  I’d get an electronic receipt system going so we stop wasting paper on receipts that most people are unlikely to look at and most will just lose anyway.  I’d also get that system linked to our credit cards so that whenever we check our bills, we can see the receipt associated with each charge.  No more hunting through piles of paper!  I could finally get a vocational school for athletes going both here and in the UK, so we could cultivate athletes who are ready for all stages of life.  Then I could set up a research think tank where people can submit ideas for researchers to carry out.  I guess Google’s kind of already doing this, but it would be free for people to send in ideas and no guarantee on if their submission is chosen (whereas Google’s is contracted).  Really I’d love to tackle my “hopelist” and parts of my “ideaslist.”

So here’s to getting a job, being extremely profitable, then setting up a foundation or something to implement the solutions I so dearly want to see.

Life advice (& still jobless)

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , , , , , ,
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Sometimes it feels like a really hard game.  You zoom past the easy levels, then get stuck on a hard one.  photo credit: danimations on flickr

Sometimes it feels like a really hard game. You zoom past the easy levels, then get stuck on a hard one. photo credit: danimations on flickr

Just yesterday morning I got the news: Thank you for applying, but we have chosen another candidate for the position.  Or something to that effect.  It feels like so long ago!  I had a lot of my hope banking on this job, so it was certainly a let-down that I didn’t get it, after getting so far.  I had three wonderful people give me great recommendations and even a fourth one who put in some good words.  In the end, it might have come down to exactly what I had feared… not enough professional experience in event planning and scheduling.

I had the passion, I had the drive, I had the excitement and enthusiasm!  I just didn’t have the years of experience to back me up.  I’m still waiting to hear back regarding feedback on how I was as a candidate so I can improve myself for the next try.  I really wish I had gotten this one though – it was perfect for what I want out of life now.  At least it didn’t hit me as hard as I thought it would.  It helped that I had just heard of some new, exciting opportunities, so now I’m applying for those.  Just gotta keep plowing forward!

Ironic then, that last night I listened to a speaker sharing advice on how to live our professional lives and today I listened to a speaker doing much the same.  I was oddly inspired, yet weary.  Sometimes you know what you should do, but it’s just not the right time emotionally.  I felt like that last night, as the pangs of a job not earned hit my subconscious.  I didn’t think it was affecting me much, but apparently it was.  Let me tell you, it is the most bizarre feeling, to be inspired and discontent at the same time.  It’s hard to reconcile.  Well, I took those lessons and pondered them on my way home, as I questioned many things in my life.  Then today I was feeling much more receptive to the advice presented.  I just need time to recover from everything I put into the potential job.

A wonderful event!

A wonderful event!

Let’s move on to the pointers that the two speakers gave, starting with Jordan Belfort:

~”motion creates emotion” – Put your body physically a certain way and you will start to feel that way.  Stand tall and confident and you will feel more confident.  Hang your head and look at the ground and you will begin to feel sad.  Move how you want to feel and you can create that emotion through body language.

~”act as if” – Whatever your goal is, start acting as if you have already attained it.  You will begin to open doors to lead you towards that very goal.  (This could work well in line with the advice that tells you to start taking on duties of those above you when you want to get a promotion/raise.  Just start working like you already have that job!)

~”where focus goes, energy flows” – The things you focus on, you will pick out more readily than everything else.  So focus on what you want to get and don’t expend resources on the rest.  We’re great at filtering out things to find what we want, but if we’re preoccupied with our weaknesses or problems, that’s all we’ll see.

~”change the way you look at things and the things you look at will change” – Similar to above.  When you focus on the good and what you want, you will go towards it.  When you shift focus down to the things holding you back, you will plummet.

The Wolf of Wall Street, as he's known.

The Wolf of Wall Street, as he's known.

~”build a new pattern” – From our youth, we develop patterns.  Patterns of thought, patterns of behavior, patterns of expectations.  Don’t let those inhibit you.  Break old patterns and start adjusting them bit by bit.  Next thing you know, it’ll be second nature!

~”mistakes are resources” – Every time you make a mistake, it’s a chance to learn.  Failure is in the eye of the beholder.  Take each stumble as a lesson so you don’t run into the same issue again.  Successful entrepreneurs especially know this; they’ve all failed and learned!

~”model after someone successful” – Find someone (or “someones”) doing what you want to accomplish and find a formula of their actions that work for you.  Take what they do best, what has led them to success, and learn from it.

~”Mother Nature has equipped you with everything you need” – You just need to harness that natural talent!

Amy Lukken, Director of Market Research and Educational Learning

Amy Lukken, Director of Market Research and Educational Learning

And today’s speaker was Ms. Amy Lukken from Interface, with similar wisdom:

~People tend to focus on the negative, like when you get a report card with As and Bs and one D.  All parents will immediately see the D and question it.  We’re always working to improve our weaknesses (but what about our strengths?).  Around the time we’re 3-9, our natural talents start to emerge.  We can and should take those and find ways to develop them and apply them to future jobs.

~She showed us a t-shirt that said: Failure is NOT an option.  Good idea, but the most prominent words were “failure” and “not.”  Walking around seeing them all day doesn’t give the right impression.  (As I like to say, double negative wording is detrimental to the positive meaning they hide.  Just word things positively!)

~Discover your passion and aim for that.  You shouldn’t get stuck in a job you hate just because it is stable, pays well, etc.  Oftentimes there are ways to incorporate what you’re good at and your passions into many types of roles.  (Take me, for example – I’m good at proofreading, so I could be an editor in many organizations.)

Now I’ll take their words, trying to remember it all as I move forward.

Nightmarish

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , , , , , ,
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The past two nights, I’ve been playing out my fears subconsciously in my dreams.  Two nights ago, I had a nightmare that I cheated on Panda by kissing another guy, who then tried to get me to leave Panda.  I told him that I had made a mistake and I wasn’t going to be with him, but I was horrified by what I had done.  I woke up vaguely remembering what I had dreamed and feeling miserable, but relieved that it wasn’t real.

Then last night I dreamed that Philosopher and I were in a parking garage.  For some reason he had gone up to the second level and came back down telling me I had been rejected.  Confused, we went upstairs where a blue car resembling the one that my parents had owned many years ago was parked with a letter under the windshield wiper and a huge playing card (a jack) on the ground in front of it.  The card was something like three feet tall by two feet wide and seemed to be a play on the word “jacked” because that was certainly a way to describe the way I felt.  The letter was a rejection one from the job I had applied to.  I was absolutely devastated when I woke up in the split second before I realized it was just another nightmare.

I suppose I have been more stressed than I realized and now I’m being bombarded by the things I dread most.  I just hope that both have “happened” already so they won’t in reality.  After all, I never want to do anything to hurt Panda and I REALLY want that job.  So let’s just hope that both those events turn out the way I want them to!

When a sentence changes your thoughts

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , , , ,
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So many chemicals.  photo credit: stirwise on flickr

So many chemicals. photo credit: stirwise on flickr

Awhile back there was a great offer going on, with a company giving coupons to get one of their products for free.  Being the deal-lovers we are, Panda and I scrambled to sign up for our very own shares.  This company makes a brand of shampoos and conditioners that I quite like to use, so I was thrilled to save the money on a product I buy consistently.  I then happened to share the news with my manager when I was working at Opportunity Green one day and she said something that stuck with me: “Do you know how many chemicals are in their products?”

In fact, no, I didn’t, and I’d never thought about it before.  I have looked at many natural beauty products, ranging from lip balm to make-up to skin care (and even nail polish), but I had not yet considered hair products.  It amazed me that something so seemingly obvious had evaded my attention.  I love the brand I use most often and it’ll take time for me to find a better alternative, but that comment got me thinking and re-evaluating.  I guess there are just too many things to consider when it comes to all the products we are bombarded with every day.  I’ve thought of an energy-efficient light bulb or computer, but not a camera or TV.  Why?  Just like with personal care products, some get noticed more than others, but really they should all be considered.

So now for a search for healthier shampoo…

The final push

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , , , , , ,
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I’m inching my way closer and closer to a potential job offer!  After passing first-round interviews, I had a second interview and am now a finalist for the position I want so much.  I said before it’s not exactly my dream job, but what I meant is it isn’t my complete life goal, but for a first job, it pretty much would be the ultimate job for me to attain.  It not only allows me to stay close to my alma mater (one of my four stipulations), it would be a great way for me to jump-start a career in environmentalism.

I just sent out my official reference list, complete with a little blurb for each person to describe the (skill) areas they know me best in.  Prior to that, I e-mailed my references to confirm their willingness to speak on behalf of my qualifications, work ethic, and performance (and perhaps my personality as well).  I also did much of the work for them, coming up with some examples of what I did while working for them and reminding them of my strengths.  I hope all goes well and that the hiring manager checks all the references to get the best all-around picture!  I’ve also prompted my boss who’s meeting with two of the people on the interviewing team sometime this week.  She agreed to help put in a good word for me, so I gave her a refresher course on what I’ve done.

Now I’ve pretty much taken every step I can to increase my attractiveness as a candidate.  It seems there is not too much else I can do beyond waiting for this week to (hopefully) fly by!  In the mean time, I will enjoy the last couple of days I have with Philosopher before he heads back to England.

Interview

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags:
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Tomorrow’s my interview, so I’m busy preparing!  I’m pretty well prepared, but there are just so many questions that I could be asked there’s really no way to be sure.  However, as long as I keep sight of how I qualify (and would be the best candidate), I’m sure I can answer well.  I just need to make sure to set myself apart from the rest, either by being more thoughtful about the position or be more eager and ready to go.  I hope that I don’t blend in with the rest of the applicants!

In light of that, I am off to rest so I can be well-rested for my interview.

Nerve-wracking!

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , , , , , , , ,
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Don't make me go there yet!  Let me do my interview first, please.  photo credit: sanfernandovalleylawyers.com

Don't make me go there yet! Let me do my interview first, please. photo credit: sanfernandovalleylawyers.com

Today I got an e-mail that had me bouncing off the walls: an invitation to schedule an interview for a job I really want!  It was thrilling to see it sitting there in my inbox, waiting patiently for me to open it and arrange to meet with the hiring manager for the position.  I eagerly replied with a preferred time and she confirmed not long after.  Suddenly, I remembered that I’m on call for jury duty this week!  Frantically, I began to compose an e-mail back, bringing up the topic.  I came up with as many alternatives as I could and sent it back, hoping she can be flexible with her time.  Now I’m waiting here and haven’t received a response, so I anticipate she has gone to bed and I won’t know until tomorrow.

In the mean time, I’m reviewing the application information and compiling a list of my qualifications for each of their requirements.  I’ll go over their website, my cover letter, and interview advice articles over the next two days as I prepare for this all-important interview.  I e-mailed my parents, happily sharing the news with them and called up my mom when she was free to talk.  Tomorrow I’ll be chatting with my dad, discussing possible questions I should be ready for and anything else his wisdom has to offer.  After all, he’s often been in both the hiring and applying positions and can impart a lot of useful knowledge and insight.

LEED certified!  Who wouldn't want to work in a building so green?  photo credit: smithgroup.com

LEED certified! Who wouldn't want to work in a building so green? photo credit: smithgroup.com

I’m also going to e-mail a former boss, who I just went to visit days ago, and see what she has to say.  It’ll be nice to share the good news with her, after I gushed about the position and how much I wanted it.  Besides, she works for UCLA, so maybe she’ll have some pertinent pointers to share with me.  Now let’s hope I can make it to the final step and get hired!  I’d be absolutely elated because this job fulfills the requirements I had outlined before.  Though I said it’s not exactly my dream job (which would to be an eco-consultant, I think), it is my favorite candidate for being my first career job.

When I was talking to my mom, I was concerned that they weren’t interviewing on Friday because they were going to choose then and then rush someone into the position by Monday.  That would make things difficult if I had jury duty and the manager couldn’t stay after work to interview me.  My mom assured me that no company would ever be so crazy-rushed to hire someone in such a short time frame, so there must be leeway for me to interview at a later time if I must.  If I get called in to serve my civic duties on Thursday, I certainly hope she’s right.  I would love to get this position!

Gosh I’m nervous.  I haven’t wanted something so much since Panda.

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