Falling apart but keeping it together

laelene Posted in general blog
1

Wow, I had my laptop on my lap in bed last night and just fell asleep.  Next thing I knew it was 4 AM and I hadn’t turned off the light or my computer.  I put the laptop aside and turned off the light before drifting off into unconsciousness again.  I can’t quite remember what I was doing – Yelp maybe.  All I know is that I’ve been really tired lately.  I can’t get up in the morning when I should and it’s a struggle to get in to work.  I’ve been dreaming.  For me, that means restless nights.  Whenever I dream, I don’t get the deep sleep I need to be fully rested.

The past two nights my right arm has started to feel numb.  Today during the day I felt it still.  A cold sensation from my chicken wing down to the fatty part of my palm, where the thumb is.  I spent a lot of time rubbing my thumb warm and that helped.  Still, I don’t know what nerve I must have pinched that is still hurting.  I’ve been meaning to see a doctor for a checkup anyway, so I guess I should definitely do that next week.  Maybe a massage will help!  I think I’ll get one this weekend.

It’s been tough this week getting used to a new pattern that Panda and I will have to figure out.  Unfortunately, his days are super early, which means later at night I’m alone with no one to talk to.  It’s too bad he didn’t go to Hawaii – that time difference would be perfect!  We could go to bed around the same time and have plenty of time to talk online after work.  Alas, here we are trying to understand the best way to see each other and talk to each other in real time.

I haven’t felt overtly stressed, but it has turned out to be a rather tough (and busy) week!  Monday night Panda left.  Tuesday afternoon my mom came back.  Wednesday I had a professional event, which was great.  Today I had yoga and a fight with Panda as we try to find a good compromise with our new situation.  Tomorrow I have a ceremony and then I need to bake a cheesecake.  Saturday I’m hosting a Dinner for 12 Strangers and will need to cook, entertain, and clean up.  Sunday I’ll be going home to visit my mom and hopefully get that massage in.  And then Monday it’s back to work!

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