Posts Tagged ‘behavior’

Birds in the wall

laelene Posted in video blog,Tags: , , , ,
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About a month ago, I started to awake to noises that sound like wires being dragged along a wall (you know, like when you have cables dangling behind a desk and you’re adjusting them).  A few days of that and we began to wonder if it was the neighbors getting up early each day and moving things around.  However, one day it became distinctive scratching.  So I posited that it was rats in the wall.  Which seemed to all make sense as the noise continued, until THIS happened:

birds chirping in the wall from Mary Qin on Vimeo.

And that is how we came to learn that it was actually birds.  I suppose they were building a nest and then when their young hatched, they started to chirp.  So a good two weeks of this goes by and we had enough.  Time to move the bed.  The next morning, peace.  Then the day after that, I heard them again.  Less loud, but still there.  Maintenance had been informed, but I guess they hadn’t gotten a chance to extract the nest.  It got really annoying being woken up (usually around 7) by these noises, which included chirping, scratching, and even the thud when the birds flew in from the entrance of the air vent.

birds scratching in wall from Mary Qin on Vimeo.

Bird observing traffic signals

laelene Posted in photo blog,Tags: , , ,
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bird sitting atop red light

Stop...

bird sitting atop green light

...and go!

Haha, I was amused that the bird was following the signal, staying still with the red light and moving with the green. 😛

Dedication

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , , , ,
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I never really paid attention much, but it seems that my dedication is unusually strong.

One thing I’ve noticed lately is that a lot of blogs fall to the wayside, with people starting off hopeful and then posts end up dwindling to nothing.  The same thing goes for journals.  For years I’ve been hearing from friends and others I meet that they tried to keep one too, but it never really got anywhere.  Meanwhile, I kept daily journal for 13 years, accumulating around 50 volumes of journals before I stopped (I blame meeting Panda :-P).  I’ve still got notes for my journal from when I left off and I’ve been considering picking it up again.  However, there’s always the battle of “is it worth the time?” or “does this matter enough to me to be recorded?”  After all, the time I spend writing is time I’m not spending doing other fun and interesting things worth writing about.

What is it about writing blogs or journals that makes nearly everyone want to do it at some point?  I guess there’s a certain human quality that craves documentation and future historical value.  There are memories that we’d like to have to look back on.  On the other hand, it could really be a more technical issue, with those who want to practice their writing and develop it over the years.  Certainly lack of consistent writing will have a detrimental effect on the quality of your pieces, especially years down the road.  So professional or not, a blog or journal can at least force you to keep up your writing skills, to some degree.

I’ve also wondered what it is about me that makes me continue writing when others would have stopped.  Why do so many people want to write regularly, but don’t?  Perhaps it is because I am stubborn.  Perhaps it is because I got started at a young age (10).  Perhaps it is because my sentimentalism drives me to keep on going so I’ll have a lot to look back on.  I’m not quite sure what it is exactly, but many factors have urged me on over the years, as I continuously questioned the value of writing so much.  I’ve spent countless hours huddled with the latest journal design I was using, accompanied by a lovely stash of colored pens that I wrote with.  Now I’m spending countless hours typing away my thoughts, exploring some of the things that have been on my mind.  It certainly is a great outlet, preserved for all posterity.

Ultimately, I guess it just comes down to that fact that I want to keep going.  Whatever the reasons for wanting may have changed over the years as my style and even medium of writing transitioned, but that desire has not faded.  And so, I will keep on writing and wondering what this is all about, if only because I am dedicated to this part of my life.

Unsubscribe

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags:
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For some reason, now that I’m working, I’m never in the mood to check my personal email.  So, to make things easier on me, I’ve started to unsubscribe to all the things that used to clutter up my inbox, like invitations to take online surveys (which I just ignore anyway).  There are also a bunch of newsletters and offers that I never look at, so I’ve gotten rid of those.  I think because I’m making a real income now, spending time making a few cents at a time just doesn’t matter as much anymore.  I’d rather focus my time on resting for work and being fully alert for it.  Back when I was a student, time meant less to me than it does now.  Sleep was also not a priority!  Now, both of those are.

Within a week or two, I should only get a handful of messages a day, versus the dozens I’ve had to sift through.  Maybe that will make me want to check my personal mail more often, since the quality emails that I actually want to read aren’t hidden amongst a pile of junk that I never had the heart to get rid of.  Well, now I am more than happy to clear out that part of my life.  Isn’t there some saying about a clean desk is a clean mind?  I’m sure a clean inbox is too.  And maybe, just maybe, that “Unread Messages” count will dip below 1000 and eventually find itself no more than two digits long.  That would make me a happy camper.  🙂

Life as a musical

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , , , , , ,
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Panda and one of my coworkers seem to love the idea of life being like a musical.  Whenever we walk, Panda will start singing a little tune he makes up to go with the rhythm of our footsteps.  My coworker always is talking about breaking out into song and dance (and apparently he’s sizing up everyone to see who he’d want to be near if this did happen, so he could be next to the better dancers).  Yeah, I’m surrounded by strange people.

When I was younger, I used to sing a lot too.  I think for me it stemmed in my upbringing.  My parents would sing old Chinese songs for no real reason as I was growing up.  In the car, we’d pop in a cassette or CD and sing along (that actually served a purpose: keeping my dad awake and alert while driving).  Around the house, they would do so without any accompaniment.  And there’s something really harmonious about singing or humming while gardening, which is something my mother loved to do.  I never saw any shame in singing in public and only in later years did I learn to tone it down.

This unconscious behavior got suppressed over the years as people always looked at me funny or asked me why I would burst into song.  Perhaps my voice is not that great, but I didn’t care.  It felt good and it felt right.  But nowadays, that doesn’t really happen and I wonder if that feedback affected me over the years until I got to this point, where I laugh and shake my head at people who sing randomly (or would like to).  It’s a pity, because I see nothing wrong with it.  I’d like to get in touch with that part of my behavior again.

What is so wrong or strange about singing in public anyway?  I find it to be a great way of expression, and usually a positive outlet.  Though I listen to certain types of songs when I am down and want to get sadness out of my system by having a bit of a cathartic release, I can’t ever recall wanting to sing a melancholy tone to express myself.  I can imagine a sad song being sung at organized events and the like, but not really by a lone person walking the streets.  Instead, I’m always inspired by happy, positive, upbeat feelings – and  it brings a smile to almost everyone’s faces, whether or not they actually like my singing.  The spontaneous desire to sing tends to go hand-in-hand with smiling and skipping.

It would be really cool if life were a musical and people burst out into song and dance more often.  It’d certainly make my world a happier place.  For now, I’ll just settle for the bit of singing Panda and I do from time to time, usually without realizing it’s happening.  There must be something deep down that drives us to do it and why should we deny ourselves that sort of innate joy?  It’s a beautiful thing, really.

Lunch buddies

laelene Posted in photo blog,Tags: , , , , , ,
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Sometimes I like to sit outside and eat my Quizno’s, with the traffic on Sepulveda whizzing by.  And every time that happens, curious and hungry birds are there, waiting for me to share some of my food.  These two were particularly bold in demanding I feed them!

bird sits on chair across the table

He sat across from me, carefully watching for his potential lunch.

bird looking back over shoulder

A bit of a model, eh? Check out the classic over-the-shoulder glance. Perhaps he was trying to impress me so I'd feed him. 😛

bird eating bread on table

I decided to share some of my bread and he nearly got within arm's length.

pigeon by feet waiting for food

He made it very clear what he was waiting for. Quite persistent!

Wanting the best of both worlds

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , , ,
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The past few days I’ve suddenly grown an itch to cut my hair again.  It’s getting to a nice length where cutting it won’t make it too short (and thus force me to shower in the morning so it won’t look too poofy during the day).  Yet, it’s still not quite as long as I’d like (enough for it to be considered longer than average).  Then again, I think my hair just doesn’t grow very long and probably will never reach much further than the bottom of my shoulder blades.  Besides, my impatience with it once it gets to that magical length that it refuses to grow beyond prevents me from ever allowing it to really get any longer.  After all, when you can’t easily comb out your hair with your fingers to give a quick fix, it starts to become much more of a hassle.  Nonetheless, I really like the idea of growing my hair out longer.  Pity it likely will never quite work out the way I’d like.

I think another issue I run into is that my body doesn’t allocate enough nutrients to my hair for it to get past my shoulder blades and not start to get really dry and brittle at the ends.  There is nothing quite so distasteful as finding a slew of split ends hidden in there, and getting a dry, scratchy feeling from the tips of your hair.  And my hair looks nothing like those shampoo commercials where ladies with long, flowing locks sport their shiny and extremely slippery-looking hair.

The other main obstacle is also related to its feeling – the feeling of hair on the back of my neck, which I hate more than most feelings.  There’s something about that heaviness weighing there that I really don’t like.  I’d tie my hair back more often, but I like having it down and keeping it up gives me headaches.  Plus, when it’s down, it acts as an insulator for my neck, ears, and shoulders.  Being one who gets cold easily, that little extra help really makes a difference.  I also just like how it looks that way.

I wish I could have longer hair without the hassle of dealing with it.  And I wish there was a way to keep it off my neck without tying it up.  So instead, I guess I’ll have to settle for a medium-long length that is enough to weigh itself down so a quick brush will fix most problems, but short enough to not feel too heavy on my neck.  While I’m at it, I’m thinking of getting streaks again (highlights? lowlights?  I have no idea what the difference is – just something lights!).  I haven’t had extra color in my hair for awhile now, so it’d a fun change.

Egocentric

laelene Posted in photo blog,Tags: , ,
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Am I being too self-centered when I see my initials (backwards) in a bottle cap?

Sleep & waking up

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: ,
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I have trouble falling asleep before 1 or 2 AM and usually don’t get to bed until past 2.  This doesn’t bode well for getting up in the morning, which is always a painful experience.  Yet, no amount of suffering in the morning seems to motivate me to get to bed earlier.  It’s difficult to go to sleep right when your body is reaching its peak energy levels.  It’s also difficult when your mind is reaching its peak activity levels.  I always want to do more at night and can stay more focused too.

I wonder how long it’s going to take before I can sleep at midnight again.  Perhaps never?  After all, I seem to be doing alright with 6-6.5 hours a night, then sleeping in on the weekends.  I love sleeping in more than most things and I’d definitely want to try an alternate work day in the future, getting up around noon and working until the late night.  It might not be healthy by normal standards, but I believe my body is telling me something about my personal internal clock that supersedes conventional norms.

This week has gone by at a decent pace and I’m glad that tomorrow is Friday!  That means that I won’t have to worry about how late I sleep, since I can just sleep in the next day.  🙂  It’s a satisfaction that few things in life can bring me.  Simple, yet so pleasurable.  Plus I’ve got an AMAZING body pillow that encourages me to stay in bed all day long.  When I first got it, I couldn’t climb out of bed for a week.  As I got more used to it, I can manage to let it go better, but it’s a great sleep aid.  If only Costco still sold that texture!  The ones they have now are nowhere as comfortable as the original ones they sold two years ago.  Pity, for I definitely would have gotten more.

Lonely

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , , ,
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I’ve gotten so used to having Panda around that it’s been really weird this week without him around.  He’s at home on spring break and now I struggle to find things to do with my time at night.  Funny, it’s not like when he was around we were hanging out, but just his presence calms me.  Now, I am on my own and the games I distract myself with aren’t as engaging, TV shows aren’t as interesting, and I don’t have the patience to waste my time online.  I just want to be able to know that he will be here at the end of my work day.  In fact, there’s really no motivation for me to leave work earlier rather than later, now that he’s away.  Coincidentally, my boss is out of town as well, which means I’m not as busy with work either.

The good thing is that I’ve got a friend who’s around and we met up for dinner last night.  We happened to run into a mutual friend, so the three of us can grab dinner together tomorrow night!  That will keep me occupied until things pick up again.  Still, I’m a little lost without Panda here to talk to and share my time with.  I am looking forward to next week, when he finally returns.  This will be the longest I don’t get to see him since I returned from Singapore!  I’ve found that my pattern on my own is different from when he is around.  Both are nice in their own ways, but I much prefer having him around than not.  I’ve been excessively tired these couple of days, perhaps because I haven’t been taking care of myself as much.  Even my train of thought writing this is all over the place… I suppose it’s time to call it a night and get some rest.

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