Posts Tagged ‘opinion’

Spirituality and atheism

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , , , , ,
2

I came across this NPR program today on the science of spirituality (go read all parts!), which I found fascinating, as I generally do with anything dealing with spirituality (which I consider separate from religion, but often intertwined).  Let me get right into it, since there’s a lot I want to say!  (Note: I’ll try to be as non-offensive as possible, but this is coming from an agnostic leaning atheist point of view.  I’m quite the skeptic when it comes to religion.)

brain

To start with, I was tickled by the quote: “neurologists suspect some of the religious giants were epileptics” because I often thought, wouldn’t it be funny (in a bit of a sad way) if religion was borne of some random guy hallucinating?  Turns out that the visions that prophets had are quite likely caused by epileptic seizures or hallucinations.  So was there a burning bush?  Were they touched by a divine being?  Perhaps it was all in their head.  However, I’m not a big fan of this idea that “whether those encounters actually happened — or whether they were all in your head” are two separate possibilities.  After all, everything we feel is processed by our brains or else we don’t recognize it as a feeling we had, no?  As Michael Persinger put it, “all experience is generated by brain function.”  So yes, it was all in their heads.  But to them it was very real because it was in their heads.

Thus, to me there is no other being or “god” that is omniscient, but rather, God/the gods are within us because we thought them up.  They are products of our minds, our thoughts, our feelings.  And all those feelings we get of being touched by the divine?  It comes from our own imaginations, taking experiences and interpreting them in our own mental framework.  There’s certainly no harm in attributing it to an outside source if it makes you feel more peaceful, happy, and healthy because of it.  Belief can give people hope and I think the positive emotions from faith is actually what does “magical” healing for people, though they’ll choose to attribute it to their spirituality.  Do their beliefs actually create visible, measurable changes?  Certainly!  Any thoughts you have can do so.

“The more you focus on something — whether that’s math or auto racing or football or God — the more that becomes your reality, the more it becomes written into the neural connections of your brain.”

~ Dr. Andrew Newberg, neuroscientist at the University of Pennsylvania

photo credit: greenspine.ca

photo credit: greenspine.ca

You literally are rewiring your brain with every experience you have, including the very one right now of reading thing (and for me, writing it).  I don’t have anything against religion in its best form, but I don’t like when people use it as a scapegoat or security blanket and never take responsibility for their actions, good or bad.  Of course, I’m also not a fan of zealots who take things too far and harm others “in the name of God.”  That’s just stupid and irresponsible.

No matter what, I feel the debate will rage on because spirituality, like love and your thoughts, is something intangible.  And anything that is intangible cannot ever really be proven or disproven.  It just depends on if people choose to believe in them or not.  When it comes down to it, how do you know you’re in love?

“Everything starts from a thought, and then the thought creates a reaction.”

~Sheri Kaplan, HIV positive but “defiantly healthy” with no medication

Sure, your brain reacts a certain way and releases certain chemicals, but in the end it’s really how you interpret what you feel and experience.  And if you want to fall in love, that is how you will interpret the chemical changes you feel happening.  Otherwise, you may just blame your libido or the weather.  There are plenty of people who look back after a nasty breakup and claim they weren’t really in love or they’ll fall in love with someone new and say that they didn’t really know what love was until this person came along.  It is what you say it is (for you, at least).  The power of spirituality comes in the flexibility in how we choose to understand our thoughts and emotions, but none of that can be physically tracked.

“I think we’re wired for the supernatural,” says Scott McDermott, a Methodist pastor.

I think so too, because we need to be able to believe in things and have hope, or else life can really get us down.  We need to have the capacity to believe that there is more, there is better.  That’s also what drives us to pursue excellence – a hope for a better life, a better world.  What it comes down to, then, is that immeasurables are too subjective to be objectively measured.  And that’s the problem here – we’re trying to use science that is based in objectivity to measure spirituality, which is steeped with subjectivity.  A conundrum, certainly, and probably one that will last as long as time.*

Synergy ball.    photo credit: sculptors.com

Synergy ball. photo credit: sculptors.com

For me, spirituality comes down to believing there are forces in this world that we can’t explain.  For example, how do you explain consciousness?  Is that not but an inexplicable result of our web of neurons interacting?  I consider myself spiritual in that sense and in the pure sense of believing in a spirit within us.  To me, the sum of the parts is greater than the whole.  I believe in synergy.  Two people working together can create things that they could not have done had they worked alone and then put it together.  Likewise, those billions of neurons in our brains get together and create more than what just a random pile of neurons could.  That extra bit that produces all these thoughts we have is what we consider our spirit.  From my point of view though, that’s where it ends.  Without the brain, there cannot be a spirit, though with a brain there may not necessarily be a spirit either.  Nature’s not always fair like that.  So, though the idea of an afterlife and our spirit continuing after we die is a nice one, it’s not one I buy into.  However, our deaths aren’t meaningless and can infect other people’s spirits to make them feel like ours has continued on, by touching their hearts and minds and rejuvenating their own spirits.

Also, it seems that people are brought closer to spirituality when their senses shut down.  From meditation and other forms of intense focus that take away from the ability to process senses to near-death experiences that rob the brain of oxygen to psychedelic episodes from hallucinagenics, people feel the closest to their spirituality when our brains are not functioning fully in reality.

“The brain function of many of these people who have undergone a near-death experience is altered,” Woerlee says. “That’s correct. It is altered. Extreme oxygen starvation does change brain function — because it causes brain damage to the larger cells in the brain.”

It’s brain chemistry, he says, not a trip to heaven.

You take a step away and see things from an angle you never did before because your brain is in an altered state.  The same thing happens with age; as we grow older, our brain structure and chemistry changes, so we experience the world differently as time passes.  Maturity and wisdom are actually changes in our brains that are reflected in our behavior, but really, what are they?  They’re just more examples of intangibles that can never be fully and satisfactorily measured.

Another thing, spirituality is NOT religion!  Religion is a form of spirituality, but I do not believe that all forms of spirituality result in a form of religion.

When it comes to the brain, Newberg says, spiritual experience is spiritual experience.  “There is no Christian, there is no Jewish, there is no Muslim, it’s just all one,” Newberg says.

<i>photo credit: pro.corbis.com</i>

photo credit: pro.corbis.com

Everyone can experience a connection with the world, but in different ways, like the athlete who feels their body move in just the right way at the right time.  As a swimmer, you get that when you dive and make the most wonderful entrance into the water.  Everything just falls into place and it all feels right.  Same thing with skating – there comes a moment when you become an extention of the board and you are in control.  It’s a sort of zen, even.  The most common one talked about is probably runner’s high, when you get into the groove and the world seems to fall away.  Really spirituality is intense focus on what you’re doing.  So much so that you don’t have room for your other senses to send their feedback to you, so all you know is the here and now and what you’re doing.  I believe that’s the “oneness” people who meditate feel.

“When people lose their sense of self, feel a sense of oneness, a blurring of the boundary between self and other, we have found decreases in activity in [the pareital lobes, where sensory information is taken in].”

You get so entrenched in your own mind, your own thoughts, and not paying attention to anything your body might be telling you that you start to feel more in tune with the world, as you do in a perfect dive, a glorious ride, or a unparalleled running rhythm.  It’s not just a mental thing; physically the part of your brain that processes your senses shuts down, presumably to allow the frontal lobes (where concentration happens) to work harder.

*Do note that this is different from things like wind, where you can feel it but not see it, because inner feelings are something that not everyone can agree upon.  When there’s wind, the person next to me can confirm that they feel it too.  You may not see it, but you feel it in a tactile way.  Similarly, air is even harder to sense, but once again, everyone can agree that they sense something and we have chosen to call it air.  But when you’re feeling from an emotional point of view, it’s completely internal and nobody else around you has to be sharing in such a feeling.  We’re all experiencing the same world more or less, but in very different ways mostly because of our minds.  Since everyone experiences their own feelings in different ways at different times, how do you come to an agreement?  Simply put, you can’t.

Haircut

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , , , , ,
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I made my resolve to go get  a haircut today, after meaning to get a trim for a few weeks now.  Whenever I think of hair, I remember reading somewhere about how a girl got rid of her flowing locks and let go of so many of her burdens.  I feel like I’m starting a new phase in my life whenever I change my hair, especially when it becomes noticeably lighter.  It’s a powerful metaphor to me – that head of hair, which has been protecting and covering all your thoughts, filtering them, and no doubt catching many in their web, releases its hold and allows you to be free of your burdens.  Hair also moves around so much more freely when it’s lighter, allowing changes, occasionally getting caught up in a breeze and floating in ways it couldn’t when it was longer.  Kind of like my life now.  Similarly, my emotions can be filtered, with the negative ones falling to the floor as they are snipped off and the positive ones remain rooted to my head.

It was getting longer than it's been in a many years.

It was getting longer than it's been in a many years.

Maybe I’m taking the metaphor a bit far, but seriously, who doesn’t feel a bit liberated with each haircut?  Whether it’s guys who can once again feel the breeze against their scalp or girls who have happily gotten rid of those split ends, you feel lighter not only because you literally are, but also because there’s a certain mental lift that accompanies a good haircut.  It’s like when you first put in a new prescription for your contacts and suddenly the slightest rustle in the trees becomes obvious to you.  You’re more attuned to the world, noticing more, sensing more.  It’s enough to make the world look better.  At least that’s how I feel after each haircut, good or bad.  I’m not picky with how my hair looks as long as it’s not too short, so a haircut is always a positive experience for me and it really helps to imagine anything I’m not happy with being washed and snipped away.  Afterward, I’m ready to start anew.

I really like this idea of reshaping by cutting away the excess.  It’s a similar mentality for being green, which is definitely a prominent passion of mine that I have been developing more and more as of late.  I’ve also always loved to cut things, which is why paper cutting class at Chinese school was a great time for me.  I’m not hugely talented, but I can make some really nice flowers and snowflakes by snipping away randomly.  It’s intuitive to me and rewarding to share with others, who always admire my work.  I even won an art contest at Chinese school for it, despite all the paintings and sculptures that they went up against.  I wish I was as good at cutting hair, but the one thing I do like the way I approach my hair is that I’m not afraid to mess it up.  It’s been too many times that I’ve tried to give myself bangs only to have some awkward short hairs sticking out, refusing to be tamed.  But, it’s never much of a problem (the beauty of hair!) because it grows out soon enough, most people hardly even notice, and hair has this magical property of just falling into place to hide minor errors.  And that’s why I’m always ready for a new trim!

Chop chop chop.

Chop chop chop.

The past week or so has really been a turning point for me, as I try to change my behavior to be more vibrant, more proactive, more involved, and more active.  I talk more, asked for new work to do when I came to a lull, went out to meet some new people, and have started to plan my time better here in terms of how I will take advantage of the fact that I’m in Singapore!  I’m hoping inertia kicks in and that I will just keep on moving like this, because it’s refreshing.  I may not always be comfortable and I may want to revert to reflection and internalizing, so it will be a constant effort to not give in to that.  I’m looking forward to the new view I’m getting on things and really trying to figure what direction I can go in to pursue my passions, dreams, and fantasies.  To commemorate all this change and a look in a new direction, it’s only fitting to make a change with my hair.  It’s the fastest and easiest to make a semi-permanent change to your daily look.  I suppose I could get some new clothes, put on more makeup, or try colored contacts, but those changes are more transient and don’t reflect a new phase the way a haircut can.  In a way, this is my form of self-expression and I love it.

Perfect Organics Lip Balm

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , , , , , ,
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photo credit: Perfect Organics

photo credit: Perfect Organics

I am absolutely loving Alice.com‘s giveaways.  I mentioned the site before on a previous product they were giving away, which I actually won, so I’m thrilled to try it out.  Now they’re on to their next one (gosh, who knew they’d be so generous?) and I want to win again!  This time it’s another wonderful product (though I must admit I’d say that for all their items, since it seems they are all environmentally responsible) – Perfect Organics Shea Butter Lip Balm!!!  There are three flavors: Citrus Orange, Vanilla Twist, and Fresh Mint.

My preference is for the light, refreshing Citrus Orange, which also fits perfectly with their springtime theme.  And take a look at their ingredients for that flavor: Organic Shea Butter, Organic Sweet Almond Oil, Organic Hazelnut Oil, Organic Jojoba Oil, Organic Orange Essential Oil, and Non-GMO Vitamin E.  Seriously, that’s just amazing.  I’m really loving this company and all that it has to offer.  I’d love to see how such an organic product compares with the other stuff in the market.  I can just imagine how the crisp smell will liven up my day whenever I open up the lip balm for some serious moisturizing.  I sure hope I’m that lucky again!  🙂

Well, for this one they’re asking what springtime beauty rituals I have.  Being a person who doesn’t use makeup as much as possible and pretty much sticks to some foundation and mascara, there’s not much I change seasonally in terms of beauty.  However, I find that spring makes me want to feel clean and fresh, so I wish my skin was better and I didn’t use anything to try to even out the blemishes.  I guess the one thing I do do is become more conscious of is lotioning, since the shorts don’t hide your dry legs and kneecaps quite like a trusty pair of jeans!  I’m not sure if that is considered “beauty” so much as general maintenance, but it does have to do with bringing out the springwear!

So if you’re ready for spring to get into full swing, why wait?  Go check out this awesome giveaway and we can both have luscious lips.

Taste and smell, poor overlooked senses

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , , , ,
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Oh yes, the smell is only the beginning...

Oh yes, the smell is only the beginning...

As I was doing research today about learning methods and styles, it occurred to me that again and again people would mention visuals, sounds, and physically doing to learn.  It could range from seeing a chart or drawing a picture to hearing a speech or talking to yourself, but never once did the sense of taste or smell get brought up.  I guess it’s because people can’t really fathom eating an apple and remembering a piece of knowledge, or suddenly remembering a fact or equation from smelling a certain flower.  So I’d like to ask, why not?  Tastes and smells are just as evocative as the other senses and often a particular scent can trigger far more vivid and emotional memories than any other form of primer.  And because of that, it can greatly affect our mood, whether we realize it or not.  As for taste, doesn’t just the thought of something succulent make you salivate?  And if you’re reacting so strongly physically, surely a specific memory can be conditioned to be associated with a taste.

When thinking about this, I suddenly had this vision of using these strong triggers to enhance learning.  Imagine walking into a final and smelling the must of the seat, which reminds you of the answer for that question on neural circuits.  Then the person next to you, who always sits next to you, moves and wafts some of his cologne at you, which triggers a memory to that question about the frontal lobe’s functions.  Your hand starts to get tired from writing and you reach into your bag for your lotion to help relax  your muscles a bit and that scent brings up memories of that lecture on how the two hemispheres differ.  Next you reach for your water, which has just a hint of sweet that helps you recall how male and female brains are activated differently in doing tasks.  Finally, you pop a few jelly beans in your mouth for a pick-me-up before lunch and that leads you to the answer for the last question.  You then check over your answers, pleased, and go turn in your exam.

Not being able to taste this anymore?!  Noooo...

Not being able to taste this anymore?! Noooo...

Unfortunately, the above scenario is not plausible, since it is far more difficult to incorporate tastes and smells into learning.  Because in the end, you taste and smell so many arbitrary things that you can hardly control what you do come into contact with during a test or otherwise, when you’re trying to evoke a memory.  However, sight and sound are easier to replicate anywhere, anytime.  Additionally, we can reenact scenes by will (even if it’s not that well) just by using our imaginations.  I guess that’s what makes seeing and hearing things such common memory aid techniques – they lend themselves to creation on demand.  However, who can make themselves smell or taste something?  It’s pretty much limited to your own body odor (if you can even smell that… we’re so well conditioned to our own smell we mostly don’t) and maybe some bile.  Even then, it takes a lot of effort for a not very pleasant sensation.

Additionally, these two senses are less commonly lost than sight or hearing, so they’re more taken for granted.  When they are lost, it can really affect your mood negatively.  In fact, it’s been found that people who are depressed have a duller sense of smell (this is the opposite effect, but you can see there’s a correlation here).  Can you imagine never tasting food again?  Never smelling it?  That would be terrible.  People often don’t realize how strongly smells affect our perception of taste, so losing either would be quite miserable.  Hmm seems like there’s a huge connection to food and its enjoyment here.  But really, these are important senses that protect you not from predators, but from those nasty poisonous foods and substances!  If you couldn’t taste or smell, you’d need a taste tester to make sure your food wasn’t spoiled or toxic.  In an evolutionary sense, what use is it to see and hear predators coming if you just ate a deadly plant and essentially killed yourself?

Yeah, I know, really random thoughts.  Seriously though, value all the senses you have and relish in what joy they can bring you.  Oh, and this subject reminds me of the Jorvik Viking Centre in York, which uses scents during its ride/tour to give you a better idea of what life was like back then.

eBay: trustworthy?

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , , , , , , , , ,
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ipod-touch

photo credit: quickshipelectronics

Earlier today I claimed myself an iPod Touch online through eBay, which I’m immensely excited to have.  I’ve been watching some of their sales on the site for a few days to see the average price they go for and decided that it was well worth it.  I just hope I’m in the 99.8% positive review side of things, or else it can get complicated and ugly dealing with it overseas.  Thankfully, I have my mom to handle things on the home front, so she can help check the item before sending it to me.  In doing this whole transaction (only the second time I’ve used the site), I found that people I told all asked me the same questions, having the same concerns.

First of all, they asked about price.  Was the difference in price enough to justify the purchase versus buying it from a store?  Well, it’s a $100 difference, which in the Apple store also means the difference between a 16GB and a 32GB.  Plus, they would wonder… is it new?  Well, no, it’s refurbished, but it would only have minor scuffs and I’m willing to compromise that for the money saved.  If it’s extremely worn or dysfunctional, I can always send it in to be exchanged.

Then they would ask, is it safe?  Is it reliable?  And that launched me into an explanation about how yes, there is the off chance that I get screwed, but 1. being governed by American law, they can’t get too crazy and send me rocks like some cases in other countries, 2. they have sold over 57,000 electronic items and people would have reported them a long time ago, and 3. not only were they not reported, but they have a 99.8% positive feedback rate, which is quite high considering the bulk of sales.  I read reviews where people talking about their item that was faulty or incorrect and they got the issue resolved, so at worst it may be a bit of a hassle, but I can track down a suitable item.

ebayFinally, they would start to settle their worries and would then wonder… uhhh how are you going to get it?  Well, that’s the beauty of a mother in the right country.  😛  She helped me bid on it as I slept and she’ll help me mail it out when it arrives.  I’m quite pleased, since any Apple product sold internationally is dead expensive (in Singapore the 32GB goes for about 468 USD, whereas in the states it’s a cool $399)!  I may not have gotten the absolute best price, but it was close and still saved me tons for what I wanted.  Plus, I got it pretty much the day I decided I was going to go for it.  But it made me wonder: do people feel wary of using eBay?

Anything but the “normal” job recruiting process!

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , , , , , ,
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From the way that I grew up, I now constantly need new stimulation, new faces, new situations.  For the first time in my life, I am sitting at a desk all day long, expected to do work for the most part of the day.  At first during K-12 schooling, I sat in a desk a lot, being talked at (and taking some notes from that).  Then in college I sat in any given class for no more than two hours at a time.  I also made an effort to schedule my classes in the afternoon, since I knew I wouldn’t make morning classes.  I’ve always been a night owl, feeling most calm and productive late at night, when the rest of my  community had gone to bed.  So one of the ways I retained my freedom was by staying up as I pleased.  In my housing segment, I was well-known for being up reliably late.  Queen of All-Nighters, even.

So back to constant new experiences.  Of the ten jobs I’ve held prior to this one, three required sitting, but for no more than 4 hours.  I don’t know if it’s because I’ve never had a conventional full-time job or what, but I certainly can’t sit at a desk and concentrate on my work for a full day.  I need breaks to move around, or rest, or do something else.  Anything else.  I’m not used to this office atmosphere, as casual and welcoming as it is.   That then begs the question: what type of work can I do?  Well, I need a lot of variety.  I need to go out and meet clients or visit sites.  I need to be able to write a proposal one day and do research the next day.  I’ve found I have trouble spending two days in a row doing the same thing if it requires a lot of energy.

Not only is my preference for how I work a bit… distracted, the way that I go about getting these jobs also tends to be rather unusual.  Let’s explore:

Job #1, waitress/bus boy at Home Bon Buffet: asked the manager if he needed anyone to work there when my parents and I were eating there one night.  Left my number and got a call a couple weeks later and started work.

Job #2, swim instructor at local YMCA: got stopped while swimming laps on April Fool’s 2002 and asked by manager if I wanted to work there.  Thought it was a joke, but he followed through and ended up teaching Polliwogs and Guppies.

Job #3, production intern (<–check out my IMDb listing!) for an independent film company (No Matter Productions): got an e-mail saying I was referred from another internship I had applied for that was already full.  Went in for interview and started working that day.

Job #4, textbook reader for blind students through UCLA Office for Students with Disabilities: saw the ad through classes I was enrolled in, e-mailed, can’t remember if there was an interview, and started to get work.

Job #5, financial intern at Smith Barney: found listing on myUCLA, e-mailed, interviewed, and arranged summer hours.  The most standard and normal as it gets, I guess (except not one of those with multiple interviews).

Job #6, product demonstrator for Natural Selection Promotions: bugged one of my fraternity brothers about taking a job I wanted that another brother had told us she was leaving.  He then told me his friend had a contact, so I e-mailed with resume and was soon told to arrange time for training to start.

Job #7, marketing intern for UCLA Live!: heard about it through a fraternity brother while studying abroad, forget if I e-interviewed or called on Skype.

Job #8, computer lab concierge for UCLA Office of Residential Life: another opportunity from a fraternity brother, though I was aware of it from my Resident Assistant the year before.  MSN interviewed while in England.

Job #9, “Scribe” (campus rep) for Livescribe: and still, something from my fraternity, happened upon their Scribe program when looking at their Facebook page.  Filled out form to apply, got phone interview.

Job #10, Orientation Counselor for UCLA Orientation Program: saw a flier, was reminded of a dream I had my entire undergraduate career, and applied.  Also rather normal, did one interview, a group interview, and a follow-up.

Job #11, Assistant Manager for Caelan & Sage: Marylin was working there and felt that I should too, so she proposed it to the boss and it was cool.  Had a Skype meet-up to solidify things and meet each other.

I don't mind corporate wear, but corporate culture?  Not so much.

I don't mind corporate wear, but corporate culture? Not so much.

So generally, I didn’t go through the “normal” process of career fairs or online job listings and most of them, though requiring interviews, were quite simple and straightforward.  Of course, I simplified a lot of this and it was just like the jobs were handed to me.  Usually my resume spoke for itself and some other e-mail or phone interactions cemented things.  But overall, it was a whole lot less complicated than the convulted things you need to do these days… attend job/career fairs like mad and suck up to the recruiters, send follow-up e-mails and maintain a relationship, get an internship in hopes of being invited full-time when you graduate or apply and go in for behavioral interviews, one after another.  Me?  I have no patience for any of that.  I attended one career fair and hated it, so thereafter I swore I’d do things on my own terms.

I guess that’s why I want to be an entrepreneur and do consulting!  It offers much more interesting new work and opportunity to do things my way.

California controversy

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , , ,
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photo credit: examiner.com

photo credit: examiner.com

I’m sure most of you have heard about the news earlier this week surrounding Miss California Carrie Prejean, whose title was in danger of being taken away.  Although it mostly seems to be about her answer to a question about same-sex marriage in the Miss USA pageant, it appears that she also shirked some of her responsibilities.  Now being that I just posted my thoughts on the New York bill, my opinion is clear and I support equality for same-sex couples.  Obviously, I don’t agree with what she said, but I think Trump made a solid decision in allowing her to keep her crown (assuming she now shows up to the engagements she’s supposed to be going to).

First of all, she answered the question respectfully and gracefully (or at least as best she could), starting off saying how she thinks it’s great that we live in a country that allows a choice.  This signals to me that though she may not agree with the idea, she is still ok with others feeling that way and choosing to live they way they want.  Her only reference to why she believes that is because that was how she was raised (any guess on what that means?  Religion, anyone?).  So I give her credit for not saying anything about how the Bible or God taught her it was wrong (of course I’m assuming here that her opinion was from a religious upbringing).

It was, admittedly, a tough and extremely charged question.  Nobody could have walked away from that without disapproving stares from someone.  So to a certain extent, she was set up for failure.  And from what I saw, she handled it well, not afraid to stand up for her opinion, but also very careful in how she talked about it.  Granted, some choice of words were odd, but that’s expected under pressure like that, plus beauty pageants tend to be known for the… interesting vocabulary and grammar that their contestants use.  So all in all, I don’t blame her for how she handled the situation.

I think it was important for her to keep her role to show people that you will not be persecuted for your beliefs and can be treated fairly for expressing your honest opinion.  Yes, maybe she won’t be a great role model for those looking to accept same-sex relationships, but she will be a role model for standing her ground without disrespecting the other side.  We are a country built on freedom of speech and expression, so that is important to maintain.  However, we are also a country supposedly built on freedom and equality – where is that?  But that’s beyond the scope of this situation and is a much larger beast to tackle.  Everyone who looks up to Miss California can rest assured that she was not thrown out for her opinions, or else they may feel that they need to hide their true selves to fit into this world.

But, I don’t agree with her position and I hope that she’ll open her mind to why she was so strongly spoken against due to this issue.  It’s not a small thing to be brushed aside and as a public figure, she will have her run-ins with it.  Change does not come easily, but I hope that she’ll discover how unfair this whole situation is.  Unfortunately, this is a very heated issue, so any mention of it can result in things getting blown out of proportion.  Not that I feel the issue is not important, but, in the end, everyone is still entitled to their opinion and the only thing you can try to do is change that.  So I think rather than publicly berating her, LGBT organizations should try to arrange some meetings with her to discuss the issues.  Keep it calm and civil and you just may get somewhere.

AquaNotes: preserving inspiration

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , , , , , ,
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I follow @modite on Twitter, who works for @alice, a start-up that makes errands easier, faster, and cheaper (at least this is my understanding of it – they’re still finishing up beta testing, so I don’t really know yet).  Through her, I found out that they’re currently doing a promotional giving away AquaNotes, which are these waterproof pads.  I think that’s pretty amazing!  Basically the product is designed for placement in your shower so you can write stuff as you wash up.  No longer do I have to dry off before jotting down notes of random ideas that pop in my head (and risk losing those thoughts in the process).  Now, whenever I think of an idea for a blog post, an interesting observation to share, errands I need to run, or I suddenly remember something that happened or an item that I want to get someday, I can write it down!

aquanotesThose of you who have read the description to the right will know that this blog is based on all the things that I jot down in my “fat lil’ notebook.”  I write down everything I think of that is notable in it, including books to read, places to go, names I like, things to stock up in my pantry when I have one again, ideas for a wedding, and so much more.  You can see it’s pretty random stuff, so I never know when I’ll think of another item to add to my collection of lists.  Now I never need to worry about soaking the notebook and risking losing everything!  With AquaNotes, I can just write it all down as it comes to me and easily transfer it over to the appropriate list as needed.  I’m really excited to actually experience this product, since it’s an extension of something I already do.  I’m a “shower thinker,” as they say.

It would also be fun to leave messages to those that I share my shower with, or stick up a sheet outside and not have to worry about if it’s going to rain or not.  Plus, whenver I go to the pool, I can bring it along to write down whatever strikes me as I lap around the pool and get lost in my thoughts.  As a swimmer, this is truly an invaluable product, since I can use it during workouts, at the hot tub relaxing afterwards, or in the locker room showering after that!  They even provide you with a water resistant pencil to write with, complete with holder.  All items suction onto the wall to be easily accessible.  The possibilities with this are endless!  And you know what the best part is?  It’s environmentally friendly!  Not only are the pads recyclable, they’re non-toxic and printed with soy-based ink.  How cool is that?!  I love green products.

Same-sex marriage

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , , , , , ,
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New York has passed a bill allowing same-sex marriage and I hope that this will push California to do the same.  It was one of the most disappointing moments in my life when Prop 8 was passed and gay rights activists had to go back to the drawing board to strategize about how to change people’s minds.  I think a lot of the problem here is that people recognize marriage as both a social and religious institution, but not a political one, when in fact the legal implications are the most vital.  When it comes down to it, it’s unfair to strip certain people of rights because they don’t fit the religious concept of marriage.  If marriage was purely a religious implication, it wouldn’t be a problem because the law would not be involved and individuals would not be barred from legal benefits.  But the fact of the matter is that the main reason it is not being recognized legally is because of personal beliefs related to religion.

A symbolic gay marriage on the UCLA campus.  So beautiful.

A symbolic gay marriage on the UCLA campus. So beautiful.

If you look at marriage from a secular point of view, there’s nothing limiting what gender the two are.  I thought our law was supposed to be secular, no?  In that case, why is religious reasoning allowed into legal debate?  I just don’t get it.  Perhaps we need to separate marriage and legal unions.  Marriage can keep its religious references and celebrations that are only recognized by the church, the temple, the mosque, what have you.  Legal unions should be fair to everyone, recognized by the law with all the tax discounts, inheritance rights, and government, employment, medical, death, family, housing, and other legal rights.  (See how much gay couples are missing out on?)  How terrible is it to not allow a life partner to visit their loved one because they are not legally recognized as next-of-kin?  How can you stand by and not let a couple adopt a needy child just because they are not seen as “married”?  Or how would you like it if your loved one was touted away by immigration officials because your marriage is seen as null?  Honestly, have some heart here.

Same-sex marriages do nothing to harm you personally.  Maybe you don’t agree with the idea that two people of the same gender should be together, but is that really your decision to make?  I really don’t like it when people go around thinking they can impose their way of life on others.  All these people are doing is trying to live as mainstream a life as possible and not be shunned or even persecuted for their preferences and choices.  I thought religion was supposed to make you a better person.  Is that not why you put your faith into some being that can’t be proved?  In the hopes that you will be enlightened and achieve more?  Whatever happened to the ideals of tolerance and acceptance?  It’s like what if one day you’re told that you’re not allowed more than two children because that is considered acceptable in the context of what a “marriage” is?  When you have more children, you aren’t harming others, but some people may disagree with a large number of children since that means less time and fewer resources dedicated to each one.  So what if one day you wake up and people have decided that it’s irresponsible to have a large family?  That if you had a third child you would lose all legal rights as a couple?

Are people just that stubborn in their old, outdated ways?  If you can accept sex before marriage, divorce, and other deviations from the image of what a “real” marriage is like, then why not this?  Times are changing and they are changing drastically and fast.  The way I see it, same-sex marriage is inevitable.  We’re headed that way just like decades ago forward-thinking people knew we were headed towards desegregation and gender equality.  If you look at the issue closely, you’ll realize that those long-held opinions are antiquated.  It’s time for change and change is inevitable.  Putting it off is only going to exacerbate the problem and leave a community torn and bitter.  A few years down the line are we going to need affirmative action for LGBTs?  Are we going to have to go back to the cycle that tries to right a wrong and then just creates more chaos and debate?  Has a lesson not been taught and learned by what happened due to racism, ethnic divisions, and gender inequality?

How about preventing the issue of feeling like you need to make something up to this group by not doing anything you’ll need to make up to them later!  (In other words, before you get so entrenched in denying people based on sexuality, much like people were shunned based on race or discriminated against due to gender, why don’t you take a walk through the history books to see the mess that caused.)  Why not some prevention before this escalates?  It’s about more than that, but at a very basic level this is just setting things up for a repeat of historical patterns.  Will we never learn?  Nothing irks me more than racism, sexism, and… sexualitism?  Don’t discriminate on the basis of sexuality.  Everyone deserves their own happiness.

So please, people.  Open your eyes.  Open your mind.  Open your hearts.

Opinions brewing

laelene Posted in general blog,Tags: , , , , , , , ,
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EnneagramI have realized, in my many attempts to get a satisfactory answer to what I fall under in the Enneagram types and justify my behavioral preferences in Emergenetics, that I am much more opinionated than I may seem to be.  Answering the questions they pose has gotten me deeply introspective about my emergeneticsperson.  According to my profile, I should be more assertive than I feel I am and far more ready to express my opinions.  Yet, I find that I hold my tongue a lot and keep my thoughts to myself, save for some ranting to Panda (poor guy) and occasional references to it in my writing.  As I started to reflect more on what kind of a person I am and how I interact with and fit into the world, I began to see that yes, I am rather assertive and gregarious about how I feel.  It’s just that few things seem important enough for me to actually express my thoughts on it, so I usually opt to keep it in rather than allow any brashness to come out and hurt others.

This is where I keep my spontaneity in check, to ensure the peace is not disturbed unless I just can’t contain it anymore or determine that the benefits of doing so outweigh the costs.  I’m a very analytical person, so I prefer to sit around thinking about my options, weighing them in turn.  I tend to see many points of view, so it takes me time to process them all and evaluate the best course of action.  Internally I may be fuming, but externally I am quiet and withdrawn as I retreat to my thoughts to digest what is going on.  I like to fantasize and get lost in my imagination to escape what bothers me in this world and dream up scenarios in which problems could be aired out.  Yet because of this, I tend to miss the boat and if and when I decide it’s time to react, the time has passed and it would be inappropriate for me to bring up and address the issue again.  I don’t like to be confrontational, so I often try to express my feelings by saying things that can suggest how I really think about things.  Because of this, I often feel suppressed and, in a sense, shackled.

So, it’s not that I don’t stand up for what I believe in; I’m actually quite stubborn and adamant about the things I’m truly vested in, mentally and emotionally.  Once I do get going, I don’t like to back down and I can get very passionate in promoting my thoughts.  I’m also the type to notice a lot of details and can get primed to notice ones that annoy me more and more, which then starts to wear away at my patience.  Sometimes what it takes to get me to cross the threshold into openly expressing my opinion is just that process of getting weary of putting up with something.  At some point, I reach a level that then pushes me to release my ideas to the world.  Usually this stuff is not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, so I have learned to filter everything through a screening process to allow myself time and force myself to reason to see what doesn’t really matter in the end.  I guess giving myself the opportunity to mull things over is my own way of counting to ten.

It’s an interesting observation about myself that I always knew, but haven’t really explored (at least not lately).  Most of my frustrations stem from this tendency and I’m trying to find a way of handling it that doesn’t shortchange me and my reactions.  I hate stepping on toes though, so I tend to just get walked all over.  I’ve thought about setting a designated time to bring up these issues so I can get it out there without being in the heat of the moment, but I can’t bring myself to even get that going.  By the time I want to, I’ve convinced myself that it’s really not that big a deal and I don’t want to be petty.  Yet, time and time again it just comes back to haunt me and grate away at my nerves.  Am I undervaluing myself?  Or am I just being too observant, too anal?  I need to find more peace in my life.  A deeper sense of calm and contentment.  To an extent, I wish I was as easy-going and relaxed as Zen always appears to be.

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