Public transport etiquette

laelene Post in general blog,Tags: , , , ,
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Every day when I go to the MRT (mass rapid transit – basically the train/subway system here) station, it’s a constant battle between whether I should step forward to try to get on board earlier or whether I should sit back and wait for the train to arrive and the traffic flow to begin.  It seems that no matter what I do, there are always people who butt in in front of me and don’t allow passengers to get off before they barge ahead.  So really it’s a lose-lose battle that I just try to lose less in.  I’m still trying to figure out if this is because of the Singaporean culture, a crowded city culture, the overall Asian culture, or even a public transportation culture.

dsc04806Even after the Singapore Kindness Movement (SKM) kicked in and signs are showing up everywhere encouraging people to let people alight (get off) before boarding, I haven’t seen a change in behavior.  There’s no respect for lining up and even less for waiting your turn, so it’s an evil cycle of people being more and more rude just to get in or out of the train.  Now, to some extent I can see this just being a sort of “survival of the fittest” – those who can make their way forward first will get better chances at seats and also not worry about the doors closing on you.  However, the same exact thing happens when there are no crowds around and such behavior does nothing more than annoy people trying to get off.

So, why is this?  I don’t think it’s because Singaporeans are unkind – after all, I’ve seen a fair share of people get up to allow others to sit.  Yet, when it comes to the simplest bit of patience in waiting for people to get off before you get on and allowing those who arrived to wait before you to get on before you start pushing forward, there seems to be a huge lack of disregard.  The lines on the floor indicating where people should stand to wait and allow others to get off are completely ignored and fools like me may have thought we were first in line only to find that half a dozen people managed to squeeze ahead by directly facing off those who are stepping off.

SKM logo

It’s really amazing and I wonder if all cities work like this.  I can’t really remember a time in Europe or other large cities that I’ve been to where I noticed this, but I also can’t say that I was really paying attention.  Whether or not it’s widespread, it’s pervasive here and it’s one of those unfortunate things that you can’t really regulate.  Also, unless everyone changes their approach, those who honor it only end up getting screwed.  Sad, isn’t it?  So where’s the incentive to follow directives like that when there’s no way to keep others from abusing the situation?  I guess in the end it comes down to a cultural mentality change, but the problem is – which culture?  As I mentioned before, i don’t know if it’s limited to Singaporeans, city dwellers, Asians, or public transportation users in general.  So how do you go about making a change?  SKM is making an effort, but unfortunately, I think this is something that will take a lot of time (and perhaps some regulation) to change.

In the name of FREE

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I, like most people in this world, love free things.  Free in the sense that I don’t have to use money to purchase it.  However, I am more than happy to spend my time and efforts to earn it!  (Which, in the end, may or may not pay off.)  It’s funny how this idea of “free” works.  I mean, if you really think about it, the time I’m spending at this very moment on the Burt’s Bees site trying to win a free lip balm is appalling.  And the effort?  Just short of pathetic.  For the sake of this free item I am refreshing their page at least once a minute, sometimes five times in a row because they’re giving away 1000 free lip balms a day for 25 days, between the hours of 9 AM and 12 PM.  I rushed home from work when I realized that I’d be getting back right when it opened up, even turning on my computer as I walked so it’d be loaded and I’d just have to wait for the internet connection to register.

photo credit: burtsbees.com

photo credit: burtsbees.com

Now of course, at first thought I figured I’d just have to catch them at 9 sharp and try to be one of the first 1000, but here I am, an hour later and they’re still “gearing up.”  So I guess they’ll open it up at an arbitrary time before 12.  I am fully prepared to wait until then so I don’t have to try this again tomorrow.  And try I will until I get so hopeless I don’t go for it anymore or the giveaway ends.  Amazing, isn’t it?  Why is it that for the satisfaction of winning this free little item, I’m willing to spend enough time and energy to earn enough money to buy dozens of them?  It truly is just a mentality thing.  There’s something so fulfilling in feeling like a winner and having this “prize” delivered to you, even if all you did was waste enough time sitting there, clicking to get your share.  It’s a great marketing tactic and I’m sure it has drawn a huge crowd, since the first 15 minutes of loading yielded either a blank page or just plain text with no images.  Obviously, there were a lot of other eager beavers too (haha, BEEvers).  I can’t even focus on writing this post right now because I keep going back to refresh the page.

Recently I’ve entered some other contests as well, but those were far easier because all you had to do was post a tweet and a blog post for entries, then it was randomly drawn.  Not too much of a time commitment, though with the blog entry, some thought and research was required for a semi-decent attempt.  Luckily, Alice is still a new site that people don’t really know about, so there weren’t that many people to go against and I had a very high chance of winning the Aquanotes and Pure Organics Lip Balm.  This week I’ve entered the contest to win a cleaning set that is environmentally friendly and apparently very effective too!  I’m not counting on this one just because there’s only one, whereas the other two they were giving away 15 each.

photo credit: thenaturalbeautyshop.co.uk

photo credit: thenaturalbeautyshop.co.uk

Well, at 10:45 or so, a good hour and 45 minutes into waiting, I finally got the form!  I happily filled it out and now a coupon will be coming my way in the next couple of weeks.  I’ll have to ask my mom to get it for me, but hey, s’all good.  Too bad when I asked Panda to fill one out it was already too late.  But hey, it’s only day 2 of their giveaway, so we’ve got until June 22 to make it!  Next time he’s on around this time I’ll be tracking it to see if I can score one through him as well.  😛  Can you believe I did all this for something worth about $3 retail value?  Panda’s also a huge fan of free things, so he often checks sites and his “sources” to see what good deals there are out there.  Between the two of us, we can get a lot of free things (and probably feel like life is so great)!

I think that free really is just a way to make you feel better about yourself.  Anyone can go work for their money and buy things, but when it’s given to you out of a select few items, that’s just cool.  The same reasoning explains why getting the perfect gift is so much more exciting than buying it for yourself.  You feel like you’ve gained something (even if that something may have been bought with your own money, like in shared accounts or with children who use your money anyway).  Winning prizes or getting exclusive deals may not always be worth the time commitment, but ultimately it’s often worth the payoff in quality of life improvement!  It makes you feel like a luckier person, which makes you feel near invincible.  At least, that’s how I feel and I’ll pay in time and energy!  Just goes to show what some people are willing to do in the name of free stuff!  Are you a sucker like me?

Better Life Cleaning Products

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better-life-starter-kitOnce again, Alice never fails to deliver.  See the first giveaway I entered for a waterproof pad and the second one I entered for lip balm, both of which I won!  This week’s giveaway is a lovely set of cleaning supplies from Better Life.  This stuff is truly remarkable.  They’ve got a line of cleaning products that is non-toxic, safe, biodegradable, and effective!  It’s hard to believe, what with growing up thinking that harsh chemicals is the way to kill germs and clean messes, but I’m loving what I see from them.  Talk about environmentally responsible!  Here’s a way to keep your household clean without worrying about what baby may put his hands on or what part of the house the cat may decide to start licking (I’ve had my cats randomly lick spots on the floor for no apparent reason o.O).  Who knew Mother Nature would provide us with all the ingredients we need to clean up our homes?  It’s wonderful to see such responsible products on the market that takes care of things on all fronts: people, planet, and performance.  Plus, they donate to non-profits that share their philosophy!  How great is that?

Having a clean home provides a certain level of comfort, especially when you know that these products are practically all-natural and so environmentally friendly!  Hygiene is important to health and healthy living allows us to truly enjoy everything in life.  To me, that’s the most important thing about household chores.  After all, who wants to have dusty counters and dirt in their food?  That just increases the chance of germs getting ingested and infecting our bodies.  Plus, keeping things clean helps keep your mind clear and bright too.  It’s so much more soothing to walk into a room lit by sunlight with gleaming surfaces than to walk into a murky room barely lit by the sunlight trying to shine through grime.  Having a clean and non-toxic home is all the more important so you don’t have to worry about what kinds of chemicals are you inadvertently breathing in or ingesting.  Instead, you can focus on the task at hand and not be concerned for your health or the health of your family.  In the end, using Better Life cleaning products can bring you peace of mind.  And what’s better than that?

The economic downturn

laelene Post in general blog,Tags: , , ,
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I’m sick of all this talk about the economic “crisis” and all the problems it’s causing.  At least there are some articles out there that address the upside of a downturn though.  But the thing is, to me, that’s all it is: a downturn.  It’s not a crisis, it’s not the end of the world, it’s just another down in the cycles that we’ll all experience in life.  Sure, the economy is much slower now, people are less confident and not spending or investing as much.  Think of it this way though – the more you think things are bad, the more conservative you will be and the more conservative you will be, the worse things will get.  When can we break out of this?  Does the government just need to come out and falsely raise our hopes to get things going again?  Why do people fall prey to this so easily?

It goes up, it goes down, but it goes up again.  photo credit: financialsense.com

It goes up, it goes down, but it goes up again. photo credit: financialsense.com

Much of this is really just in our heads.  By allowing ourselves to believe that the economy is too weak and life just sucks too much, it limits a lot of people.  On the flip side, it’s a great time for innovation and creativity to find its way into life’s solutions as people have to figure out how to do more with less.  But really, this is really just a self-fulfilling prophecy.  If you believe you can’t find a job or will lose the one you have, you know what, you probably will.  But if you believe that you’ll find something and figure it out, you may end up with a job you never thought you’d have, but at least you’ve got something.  And who knows, maybe that will open a whole new world to you and show you a side of yourself that you really love.

Having faith in your abilities and things just working out makes you much more open to opportunities that come your way.  You’re far more likely to see a chance to do something new as compared to those who have a negative mindset, or even compared to your own mindset last year.  Plus, having this pressure may lead you in directions you never thought you’d pursue, which in turn could create some amazing new opportunities that you never would have considered or taken before.  Hard times breeds creativity and innovation if only because people have to find a new way, a new method, a new thought process.  Besides, limiting spending and making people think twice before they make purchases that ultimately mean very little to them is a great thing too.  When the pressure is on, it’s like a quality check on our lives.

photo credit: makakmedia.co.uk

photo credit: makakmedia.co.uk

I personally like having this “problem” at hand because companies are now looking internally to see how they can improve efficiency and productivity while also figuring out how to add the most value.  Quality is increasingly important and we’re finally getting back in touch with this whole idea of what good service really is.  Sometimes people get so caught up in the bottom line and meeting projected earnings or whatever else that they don’t stop to think about how they can improve the way things are done.  It’s the old adage: “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”  Well, as I read somewhere recently, “it is broke now.”  So it’s time to fix it.  And what is it?  Well, it varies, but generally it seems to be the way we look at and approach what we do, from work to family life.  And though I agree that families get more time together now, I hope that’s not backfiring as stressful family members infect the rest of their relatives.  It’s always a double-edged sword, isn’t it?

Really what it comes down to is how you choose to frame it.  It’s the classic case of the glass half empty or half full.  Depending on your perspective, you’ll see something different from what others will.  Whatever you do choose to believe, the more you believe it, the more likely it is to be true.  Your mentality affects the way you act and the way you act affects what will happen to you.  People who are down and depressed will start to withdraw from others, stop doing things they love, and other destructive behavior that actually makes things worse and that’s what I see here.  Unfortunately, we need the whole world to buy into the idea that the economic situation really isn’t that bad for it to actually start improving again.  And with all the job losses and paycus you hear about, it’s no wonder people are reluctant to behave as if there isn’t a problem.  It would be a start (however small) to at least frame things like this: it’s just an economic downturn or slowdown.  It’s NOT a crisis.  That in itself can begin a better pattern of behavior from people – a more optimistic and hopeful one.

Spirituality and atheism

laelene Post in general blog,Tags: , , , , ,
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I came across this NPR program today on the science of spirituality (go read all parts!), which I found fascinating, as I generally do with anything dealing with spirituality (which I consider separate from religion, but often intertwined).  Let me get right into it, since there’s a lot I want to say!  (Note: I’ll try to be as non-offensive as possible, but this is coming from an agnostic leaning atheist point of view.  I’m quite the skeptic when it comes to religion.)

brain

To start with, I was tickled by the quote: “neurologists suspect some of the religious giants were epileptics” because I often thought, wouldn’t it be funny (in a bit of a sad way) if religion was borne of some random guy hallucinating?  Turns out that the visions that prophets had are quite likely caused by epileptic seizures or hallucinations.  So was there a burning bush?  Were they touched by a divine being?  Perhaps it was all in their head.  However, I’m not a big fan of this idea that “whether those encounters actually happened — or whether they were all in your head” are two separate possibilities.  After all, everything we feel is processed by our brains or else we don’t recognize it as a feeling we had, no?  As Michael Persinger put it, “all experience is generated by brain function.”  So yes, it was all in their heads.  But to them it was very real because it was in their heads.

Thus, to me there is no other being or “god” that is omniscient, but rather, God/the gods are within us because we thought them up.  They are products of our minds, our thoughts, our feelings.  And all those feelings we get of being touched by the divine?  It comes from our own imaginations, taking experiences and interpreting them in our own mental framework.  There’s certainly no harm in attributing it to an outside source if it makes you feel more peaceful, happy, and healthy because of it.  Belief can give people hope and I think the positive emotions from faith is actually what does “magical” healing for people, though they’ll choose to attribute it to their spirituality.  Do their beliefs actually create visible, measurable changes?  Certainly!  Any thoughts you have can do so.

“The more you focus on something — whether that’s math or auto racing or football or God — the more that becomes your reality, the more it becomes written into the neural connections of your brain.”

~ Dr. Andrew Newberg, neuroscientist at the University of Pennsylvania

photo credit: greenspine.ca

photo credit: greenspine.ca

You literally are rewiring your brain with every experience you have, including the very one right now of reading thing (and for me, writing it).  I don’t have anything against religion in its best form, but I don’t like when people use it as a scapegoat or security blanket and never take responsibility for their actions, good or bad.  Of course, I’m also not a fan of zealots who take things too far and harm others “in the name of God.”  That’s just stupid and irresponsible.

No matter what, I feel the debate will rage on because spirituality, like love and your thoughts, is something intangible.  And anything that is intangible cannot ever really be proven or disproven.  It just depends on if people choose to believe in them or not.  When it comes down to it, how do you know you’re in love?

“Everything starts from a thought, and then the thought creates a reaction.”

~Sheri Kaplan, HIV positive but “defiantly healthy” with no medication

Sure, your brain reacts a certain way and releases certain chemicals, but in the end it’s really how you interpret what you feel and experience.  And if you want to fall in love, that is how you will interpret the chemical changes you feel happening.  Otherwise, you may just blame your libido or the weather.  There are plenty of people who look back after a nasty breakup and claim they weren’t really in love or they’ll fall in love with someone new and say that they didn’t really know what love was until this person came along.  It is what you say it is (for you, at least).  The power of spirituality comes in the flexibility in how we choose to understand our thoughts and emotions, but none of that can be physically tracked.

“I think we’re wired for the supernatural,” says Scott McDermott, a Methodist pastor.

I think so too, because we need to be able to believe in things and have hope, or else life can really get us down.  We need to have the capacity to believe that there is more, there is better.  That’s also what drives us to pursue excellence – a hope for a better life, a better world.  What it comes down to, then, is that immeasurables are too subjective to be objectively measured.  And that’s the problem here – we’re trying to use science that is based in objectivity to measure spirituality, which is steeped with subjectivity.  A conundrum, certainly, and probably one that will last as long as time.*

Synergy ball.    photo credit: sculptors.com

Synergy ball. photo credit: sculptors.com

For me, spirituality comes down to believing there are forces in this world that we can’t explain.  For example, how do you explain consciousness?  Is that not but an inexplicable result of our web of neurons interacting?  I consider myself spiritual in that sense and in the pure sense of believing in a spirit within us.  To me, the sum of the parts is greater than the whole.  I believe in synergy.  Two people working together can create things that they could not have done had they worked alone and then put it together.  Likewise, those billions of neurons in our brains get together and create more than what just a random pile of neurons could.  That extra bit that produces all these thoughts we have is what we consider our spirit.  From my point of view though, that’s where it ends.  Without the brain, there cannot be a spirit, though with a brain there may not necessarily be a spirit either.  Nature’s not always fair like that.  So, though the idea of an afterlife and our spirit continuing after we die is a nice one, it’s not one I buy into.  However, our deaths aren’t meaningless and can infect other people’s spirits to make them feel like ours has continued on, by touching their hearts and minds and rejuvenating their own spirits.

Also, it seems that people are brought closer to spirituality when their senses shut down.  From meditation and other forms of intense focus that take away from the ability to process senses to near-death experiences that rob the brain of oxygen to psychedelic episodes from hallucinagenics, people feel the closest to their spirituality when our brains are not functioning fully in reality.

“The brain function of many of these people who have undergone a near-death experience is altered,” Woerlee says. “That’s correct. It is altered. Extreme oxygen starvation does change brain function — because it causes brain damage to the larger cells in the brain.”

It’s brain chemistry, he says, not a trip to heaven.

You take a step away and see things from an angle you never did before because your brain is in an altered state.  The same thing happens with age; as we grow older, our brain structure and chemistry changes, so we experience the world differently as time passes.  Maturity and wisdom are actually changes in our brains that are reflected in our behavior, but really, what are they?  They’re just more examples of intangibles that can never be fully and satisfactorily measured.

Another thing, spirituality is NOT religion!  Religion is a form of spirituality, but I do not believe that all forms of spirituality result in a form of religion.

When it comes to the brain, Newberg says, spiritual experience is spiritual experience.  “There is no Christian, there is no Jewish, there is no Muslim, it’s just all one,” Newberg says.

<i>photo credit: pro.corbis.com</i>

photo credit: pro.corbis.com

Everyone can experience a connection with the world, but in different ways, like the athlete who feels their body move in just the right way at the right time.  As a swimmer, you get that when you dive and make the most wonderful entrance into the water.  Everything just falls into place and it all feels right.  Same thing with skating – there comes a moment when you become an extention of the board and you are in control.  It’s a sort of zen, even.  The most common one talked about is probably runner’s high, when you get into the groove and the world seems to fall away.  Really spirituality is intense focus on what you’re doing.  So much so that you don’t have room for your other senses to send their feedback to you, so all you know is the here and now and what you’re doing.  I believe that’s the “oneness” people who meditate feel.

“When people lose their sense of self, feel a sense of oneness, a blurring of the boundary between self and other, we have found decreases in activity in [the pareital lobes, where sensory information is taken in].”

You get so entrenched in your own mind, your own thoughts, and not paying attention to anything your body might be telling you that you start to feel more in tune with the world, as you do in a perfect dive, a glorious ride, or a unparalleled running rhythm.  It’s not just a mental thing; physically the part of your brain that processes your senses shuts down, presumably to allow the frontal lobes (where concentration happens) to work harder.

*Do note that this is different from things like wind, where you can feel it but not see it, because inner feelings are something that not everyone can agree upon.  When there’s wind, the person next to me can confirm that they feel it too.  You may not see it, but you feel it in a tactile way.  Similarly, air is even harder to sense, but once again, everyone can agree that they sense something and we have chosen to call it air.  But when you’re feeling from an emotional point of view, it’s completely internal and nobody else around you has to be sharing in such a feeling.  We’re all experiencing the same world more or less, but in very different ways mostly because of our minds.  Since everyone experiences their own feelings in different ways at different times, how do you come to an agreement?  Simply put, you can’t.

Cosmopolite

laelene Post in general blog,Tags: , , , , , ,
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Today I got followed by @nanyate on Twitter and I was intrigued enough to go to her blog because of an offer for free SoyJoy for your office!  Turns out she’s one of five bloggers competing at SoyJoy‘s GI Joy challenge.  I’ll admit, I was tempted by her offer of a free customized WordPress theme!  Nonetheless, I love to help people out, so I went to vote for her and posted on Twitter about it.  The person who helps her generate the most votes will earn her prize.  I don’t know how she can track it, but hey, no harm in trying, right?  So everyone, go vote for her!  Her name is Ivy and she’s the girl shown doing the half squat that the SoyJoy commercials have been using.

Ok, now that the backstory is out of the way, let me get to the point.  I am a huge fan of “about” pages, so of course, what else did I do after being entertained by the SoyJoy challenge she wrote about but go check her story out?  Turns out she has a fabulously-written and immensely cute section dedicated to who she is.  Not only do you get the basics of her life like her educational background, but she also has five “Ivy the _____” sections detailing herself in different roles.  It was from here that I learned of this term third culture kid, which apparently means someone who moved abroad with their parents and took both their culture of origin and their culture of assimilation to create a kind of mesh of cultures, or a third culture.  As such, they tend to consider themselves more of citizens of the world than of any particular country.  As I was reading through the description, I kept thinking to myself, “Gosh, that sounds like my life.”  Yet, I felt like something was off and that I shouldn’t fit the bill, even though I moved with my parents and my culture is very much a confused mix of both cultural influences.

chinese and american passports side by side

Adopting both cultures.


Initially, I thought that maybe it was because these people moved later in life, like after they had started school in their birth country, but from the description, plenty of people could have moved as toddlers and still be considered TCKs.  So why, then did I feel like I shouldn’t belong?  Well, it turns out that I came across one line that made is all clear to me: “TCKs are distinguished from other immigrants by the fact that TCKs do not expect to settle down permanently in the places where they live.”  Ah ha!  I knew there was a tangible difference in being a first/second generation American and being a TCK!  And it’s a critical difference – I plan on spending the rest of my life with my home base in my adopted country whereas they plan on returning to their country of origin, so their immigration is always temporary, transient.  So in the end, I am an immigrant but they are essentially visitors, passing through (even if that takes many years).  We’ll both adopt certain parts of the cultures that we come from and live in, but in different ways and for different purposes.

screenshot of laelene's livejournalWell, in reading about all of that, it led me to the idea of being a cosmopolite – someone who is cosmopolitan.  I’ve never really paid attention to the word, probably because of the magazine that takes its name, which I find to be too focused on looks and being superficial.  I never thought of it as a useful way to convey being “at home in all parts of the world,” so I guess it was meant for the meaning of “conversant with many spheres of interest.”  Mostly I think they were just going with the image of being “sophisticated and cultured” without actually really going for a well-traveled woman.  Whatever the case, this is the first time I’ve actually given a second thought to the term and I find that I connect with the description quite well (except for the sophisticated part, perhaps… I don’t know if I can claim that much).  I feel like I am made up of many components from around the world, can feel comfortable in all parts of the world, and can connect with many spheres of interest.  This is exactly the look and feel I was going for in my most recent LiveJournal blog – a jetsetter who is elegant and sophisticated.  Well-cultured, well-mannered, and well-read.  So thank you Ivy for leading me to give this term a chance, this word that so describes what I’m striving for.

Haircut

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I made my resolve to go get  a haircut today, after meaning to get a trim for a few weeks now.  Whenever I think of hair, I remember reading somewhere about how a girl got rid of her flowing locks and let go of so many of her burdens.  I feel like I’m starting a new phase in my life whenever I change my hair, especially when it becomes noticeably lighter.  It’s a powerful metaphor to me – that head of hair, which has been protecting and covering all your thoughts, filtering them, and no doubt catching many in their web, releases its hold and allows you to be free of your burdens.  Hair also moves around so much more freely when it’s lighter, allowing changes, occasionally getting caught up in a breeze and floating in ways it couldn’t when it was longer.  Kind of like my life now.  Similarly, my emotions can be filtered, with the negative ones falling to the floor as they are snipped off and the positive ones remain rooted to my head.

It was getting longer than it's been in a many years.

It was getting longer than it's been in a many years.

Maybe I’m taking the metaphor a bit far, but seriously, who doesn’t feel a bit liberated with each haircut?  Whether it’s guys who can once again feel the breeze against their scalp or girls who have happily gotten rid of those split ends, you feel lighter not only because you literally are, but also because there’s a certain mental lift that accompanies a good haircut.  It’s like when you first put in a new prescription for your contacts and suddenly the slightest rustle in the trees becomes obvious to you.  You’re more attuned to the world, noticing more, sensing more.  It’s enough to make the world look better.  At least that’s how I feel after each haircut, good or bad.  I’m not picky with how my hair looks as long as it’s not too short, so a haircut is always a positive experience for me and it really helps to imagine anything I’m not happy with being washed and snipped away.  Afterward, I’m ready to start anew.

I really like this idea of reshaping by cutting away the excess.  It’s a similar mentality for being green, which is definitely a prominent passion of mine that I have been developing more and more as of late.  I’ve also always loved to cut things, which is why paper cutting class at Chinese school was a great time for me.  I’m not hugely talented, but I can make some really nice flowers and snowflakes by snipping away randomly.  It’s intuitive to me and rewarding to share with others, who always admire my work.  I even won an art contest at Chinese school for it, despite all the paintings and sculptures that they went up against.  I wish I was as good at cutting hair, but the one thing I do like the way I approach my hair is that I’m not afraid to mess it up.  It’s been too many times that I’ve tried to give myself bangs only to have some awkward short hairs sticking out, refusing to be tamed.  But, it’s never much of a problem (the beauty of hair!) because it grows out soon enough, most people hardly even notice, and hair has this magical property of just falling into place to hide minor errors.  And that’s why I’m always ready for a new trim!

Chop chop chop.

Chop chop chop.

The past week or so has really been a turning point for me, as I try to change my behavior to be more vibrant, more proactive, more involved, and more active.  I talk more, asked for new work to do when I came to a lull, went out to meet some new people, and have started to plan my time better here in terms of how I will take advantage of the fact that I’m in Singapore!  I’m hoping inertia kicks in and that I will just keep on moving like this, because it’s refreshing.  I may not always be comfortable and I may want to revert to reflection and internalizing, so it will be a constant effort to not give in to that.  I’m looking forward to the new view I’m getting on things and really trying to figure what direction I can go in to pursue my passions, dreams, and fantasies.  To commemorate all this change and a look in a new direction, it’s only fitting to make a change with my hair.  It’s the fastest and easiest to make a semi-permanent change to your daily look.  I suppose I could get some new clothes, put on more makeup, or try colored contacts, but those changes are more transient and don’t reflect a new phase the way a haircut can.  In a way, this is my form of self-expression and I love it.

Amazing Race: final thoughts

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Ok, I can’t help it.  I don’t like to post two things in a row that are too similar, but I just finished watching Amazing Race and there are so many thoughts going through my head!  Like I remembered that yesterday I forgot to mention the language barriers that you deal with when you are in a foreign country.  Also, some of the later episodes in China made me look at my own Chinese language skills as compared to Tammy and Victor Jih’s.  And then of course, I’ve been imagining in my head who I could do it with and how we would approach it.  I can’t even sort out all the random thoughts I’ve had while watching this latest season!  I wonder what the other seasons are like and how many more they’re going to have…

Excuse me? What did you say?

Excuse me? What did you say?

To start off with, let me revisit my own experiences in traveling around Europe and the language barriers it presented.  At the very beginning, when I showed up at my new flat in England excited for a year studying abroad, I ran into some trouble.  NEVER did I think I wouldn’t be able to understand the British!  Yet, amazingly, I found myself seated with my flatmates around the kitchen table that night, bewildered at how I could hardly identify what they were speaking as English.  Only Llama had what you would consider a “proper” British accent (aka BBC newsworthy).  Everyone else’s accents ranged from the Yorkshire boys’ to the London girl’s.  Now that’s one thing you don’t really hear about – that they have huge differences in regional accents!  They’re nearly their own dialects.  Thankfully, a few hours of listening to them and I started to understand the patterns and process what they were saying.

But then came the true test during that 5-week spring break (or Easter vacation, as they consider it) when I went traipsing around the rest of Europe.  Though many countries spoke English to some degree, there was a lot of gesturing, pointing on maps, writing out names, and general confusion.  Luckily, I could usually get a map in each place, so at least I didn’t have to try to butcher the pronunciations of the places I was trying to get to.  It was also useful to have my basic knowledge of French, which helped a bit with Spanish, Portuguese, and Italian as well.  However, visuals and physical interaction are usually your best friends in this case.  I always thought it’s funny how people still talk out loud in their own language, even when the other party is not understanding a word of it.  It’s useful though – sometimes the intonation can clue you in or a word will pop out at you.  I find interacting with those who don’t understand you a most interesting challenge.

The complete opposite also happened to me on a train ride from Italy to Hungary, going through countries like Croatia and Slovenia.  I was in a room with three other people and they each spoke three, four, and five languages.  The only common one we had was English, so they tried to stick to that, but at points they’d slip into some Italian or German before remembering me and coming back to English.  Sigh.  I wish I was multilingual like that!  One of my neverending goals it to retain my Chinese, but also to regain my French skills that have been lost over the years in college.  I’d like to see the day when I can claim I’m trilingual at least.  Oh, and I want to learn Cantonese as well, which Panda can start teaching me.  I’m scared of the pronunciations though.  We’ll have to see when I make the time for these ambitions!

Hey, I've been there too!

Hey, I've been there too!

As for the language skills I do have, they’re patchy.  Though my Mandarin accent is near perfect and very standard (aka China newsworthy), my reading skills are quite lacking.  I don’t know if I would have been able to read all the characters in the calligraphy that they did, though the dish names would have been easy for me to pronounce, whether or not I was able to figure out what they translated to.  I think speech-wise, Tammy and Victor’s diction was a bit stiff and sounded foreign.  This happens a lot with people who learn the language by the book – they never really pick up on slang terms or colloquialisms.  Oh, and those translations for what they were saying… who did them?!  Sometimes it was completely off, though it didn’t really affect the main idea of what was going on.  However, their reading skills seemed a little better than mine (though I don’t know if they were told the words first or just read them themselves, since the calligraphers they were talking to seemed to have said what they were writing).  All in all I think I’d do similarly to the Jihs in our motherland.

Forget just seeing the Bird's Nest - how about being in it?

Forget just seeing the Bird's Nest - how about being in it?

Finally, I kept imagining myself with Panda and how we’d deal with it, but I don’t know how plausible that would actually be.  I’m considering applying just to see if we can get through, but I have a media angle on us that I want to wait on.  Plus, he’d need to get out of school first and have the flexibility to be able to go on the show.  I can’t imagine him taking a quarter off to do something like this and you certainly can’t take three/four weeks off in a quarter system and catch up in a class!  Let’s hope the show lasts quite a long time!  Yes, I’m actually seriously considering this.  No harm in trying, right?  And though I was worried about opportunities to enjoy the cities during the race, I figure if you can win it you can always go back!  I know I’m dreaming big here, but it’s something I can fantasize about and look forward to, whether or not we actually do try someday.  However, in thinking of this and how we would face challenges involving our fears or dislikes, I worry about our ability to overcome and try.  It looks a lot easier when someone else does it, but I guess being in the right mentality during the game kind of gets you to do whatever you need to fight to the finish.  Does Panda have that competitive spirit?  I’m not sure this is his sort of adventure.

Grr I am strong too!

Grr I am strong too!

So, then I started to think, who else could I do it with?  And you know what, I began to entertain the thought of trying out with my best friend, Katana.  She’s athletic, well-traveled, and super competitive.  Whereas I would definitely lead a lot with Panda, partly because I am more aggressive and partly because I am in more familiar territory than he, with Katana I’m not sure how things would play out.  Though I’m generally a peacekeeper, that would more of show in the way I’d interact with other teams.  However, in the way that I’d approach the game, Katana and I might have some serious headbutts to contend with when I chose to assert myself.  Otherwise, she’s the more aggressive and assertive out of the two of us, hands down.  We’d have an advantage because of our experiences abroad and our comfort in traveling.  Plus, if I do commit to trying out, I’d be sure to start preparing my body for it, getting back in the pool regularly and returning to my track and field days as well.  Gosh, I’m really starting to dream with this one.  So what say you, Katana?  Season 16?  (They’ve already held interviews and such for the upcoming 15th season.)  We’ve still got a shot at being the first female duo to take it away!

Amazing Race: some observations

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photo credit: gearlive.com

photo credit: gearlive.com

When I went online today to try to find new episodes of the shows I started to follow recently, I found that apparently the seasons have ended.  I guess that makes sense in retrospect, seeing how dramatic the finale for House was, but I guess I didn’t quite see it for Lie to Me.  Well, once I found out, I tried to figure out when the next seasons start, but I guess they don’t tell you that.  Perhaps people who watch TV just know this, just like any schoolchild can tell you what month they start school.  Unfortunately, that is not knowledge I have had since sometime in middle school, so I’m quite out of the loop.  Thus, in an effort to do an activity that doesn’t require much out of me but is still relatively engaging, I thought I’d check out the latest season of the Amazing Race, which I have read about when Tammy and Victor won as the first Asian-American team.

What struck me was the relationships, the unpredictability, and the rush and intensity of it all.  First and most importantly, any sort of show like this that challenges people to work together under high stress situations tells you a lot about their personalities and relationship.  You watch as they get frustrated with what is going on and some people blame themselves, some people blame others, while some people will blame the situation itself.  And in terms of dealing with that stress, there are those who lash out at their partner, those who get upset with themselves, and those who are impatient or even rude to the locals.  It’s interesting to see the different coping mechanisms that come into play when these people are under stress.  Certainly anyone would start to crack and show their faults and again and again I would see power struggles within the teams, with one partner trying to be more dominant.  Usually this was because of their personal relationship as family or significant others.  It seemed to happen less so with the teams that were coworkers and friends.

photo credit: abovethelaw.com

photo credit: abovethelaw.com

Observing all of that made me evaluate myself and how I would behave under those circumstances.  I think I’d want to be the dominant one and would in turn be the one dishing out more criticism.  Of course, all of imagination towards how I could compete is in the scenario in which I would go with Panda.  So I’m thinking of the dynamics of our relationship, where I assert myself far more and tend to be more expressive when it comes to sharing my feelings and gripes.  So for me, the hardest thing would be to let go and not always control, but step back and let him do his thing.  The good thing with us is that whenever we get into a disagreement, at the bottom of it we both just want things to go well.  And though we’ll misunderstand each other, we’re both working hard to make things better, in our own ways.  As for how I’d treat the people along the way, I know I’d thank them a lot for their help, but I don’t know if I’d get exasperated when the communication barriers get in the way and delay things.  I can be impatient and demanding, and I may not always be able to be the gracious person I’d like to be.  I’m still working on that.  Don’t shows like this make you reevaluate yourself and your life too?

Secondly, there was the unpredictability of the situation.  Until the moment you step on that mat and hear you’ve been eliminated, there’s nearly always hope.  Time and again teams have yo-yoed from leading to lagging and back again and oftentimes they get back on an even playing field due to travel restrictions.  Plus, you never know exactly what’s going on with all the other teams, so even though you may have a good idea, something unexpected could have gotten in the way.  It’s a huge lesson in hope that I think people need to grasp better.  It’s too often that I see expressions of defeat and despair that end up in glee and joy when they discover that things weren’t as bad as they thought.  At the same time, there are great examples of people who don’t give up and fight to the last bit, no matter how badly off course they get.  That’s the beauty of it – this fighting courage that they get when it comes down to the wire.

Sometimes you just gotta go for it.

Sometimes you just gotta go for it.

Similarly, in life, so many people say negative things about what they think can’t happen only to be proven wrong.  I know I hold myself back a lot because I’m afraid of venturing out to be wrong.  However, everywhere you read, the most common thing that self-made successful people share is a certain level of bravery in taking risks and trying.  This is a topic addressed often in entrepreneurship.  If you want to do something and make something of yourself, you need to go out and attempt all kinds of crazy ideas.  Sure, lots of things will fall flat and you’ll probably get shot down more than you’d ever care for, but then you just have to pick yourselves up and keep going, taking what you’ve learned from each lesson to build on to your repertoire of knowledge.  I want to be like that since I want to be an entrepreneur and I hope shows like this are encouraging more people to act like that as well.

Finally, the intensity of the race and the pace that it goes at (which I’m sure is highly misrepresented in the show) is astonishing sometimes.  The one thing I don’t like about this premise is that people rush through these countries so quickly that they only get a glimpse of what things are like there.  It’s not true travel and tourism in the way that I value it.  So it makes me wonder how much down time they get and if they even have time to go check out some things they may have wanted to.  I think the worst thing would be to finally go to a place you’ve been dreaming of only to run around like maniacs trying to track down the right clues.  For their sake, I hope they get to do some of their own traveling, though it doesn’t really look like it.  I’m sure everyone is so focused on conserving their energy for the race and preparing themselves to take on challenges that they probably aren’t even in the right mindset to truly enjoy the cities they pass through.  It’s the one big downside I see to this great big game.

Me and my bags, dragged all around Europe.

Me and my bags, dragged all around Europe.

Though granted, I started to get nostalgic for my travels through Europe, like the 5 weeks I spent gallavanting around from Portugal to Hungary, Greece to Sweden, spanning 21 cities.  It was a similar mad rush, with me averaging 1.5 days per city, including travel time.  I had a basic plan that changed a few times depending on when I could catch trains, if I could book hostels, and where I felt like going next.  There’s a beauty and freedom in that kind of travel, where you only really know where you’re going to be in the next two days, but no more.  I had similar frustrations with missing trains, running with a rucksack on my back while dragging a suitcase behind me, and getting lost or stranded.  Additionally, I had to deal with extra fees when my luggage got too heavy for the small, cheap airlines that fly around locally.  The moment I arrived into a city, I’d get a map, go online, and find all the historical landmarks, museums, and other tourist attractions I was interested in visiting.  From there I’d map out my plan of action and go from there.  It was 5 full weeks of banking it from one place to another, trying out all kinds of cuisine I could find, and still managing to enjoy some hotspots and take a breather.  It was quite fun to travel like that and I miss it, though I do plan on going back to see things more in depth in the future and spend some time getting more immersed in the cultural feel.

So all in all, it was a very reflective experience that allowed me to think about my own life.  Which I think we should always be doing.  🙂

Tweetup!

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Everyone having fun, of course.

Everyone having fun, of course.

Today I attended my very first Tweetup and met a really nice group of people, thanks to @inrsoul!  It was a really nice experience, to meet up with a bunch of strangers, yet feel so comfortable hanging out.  I’m thrilled about this chance to get out and mingle with people I otherwise would not know.  After all, I’ve been a bum lately, doing nothing more than going to work, eating, and going home for the night.  I didn’t even step outside at all this weekend!  So, to counteract that, this was the perfect opportunity that I spotted by chance last night when I decided that a day away from Twitter should be somewhat made up for.  As I was going through tweets of the day, I came across the one that led me to the #SGTweetUp and how fortunate that was.

Seriously guys, whose balls were these?

Seriously guys, whose balls were these?

So at the actual event, it was really nice that inrsoul knew who I was the moment I stepped in and greeted me by name.  Then, he introduced me to some of the people there and found a place for me to settle amongst them.  He chose a great venue in Zsofi’s Tapas Bar, because the upstairs portion is no shoes and has low cushions, pillows strewn along the walls, and ambient lighting.  A great casual setting for us to mingle, drink, and eat comfortably.  I sat down and started to chat with the people next to me, which provided a lot of different conversations.  I went on to spend a good 4 hours interacting with a variety of people, though it seems most are in advertising/marketing or technology.  I think it’s so cool that they’re doing things like designing apps for the iPhone, selling iPhones (and all Apple products), doing Forex trading, going to exclusive events for bloggers, and working on social media plans.

Good food, good drinks, good company.

Good food, good drinks, good company.

I moved around a bit throughout the night, getting to know different people, with conversations ranging from loud and exuberant to solemn and thoughtful.  There were times I talked until my throat went sore and other times I just sat and listened.  We had lulls here and there, but before long, someone would come up with another topic and we’d keep going.  It wasn’t until I realized that it was nearly 11 already that I was reminded of going back.  I didn’t want to miss the last train and bus home, so I left soon after checking my watch to find that it was already so late!  On the ride home, I was quite pleased with the night and sent out a tweet via text to thank inrsoul for making it happen.  Once I got back, I found some messages and new followers waiting for me already!  I’ve spent the past two hours conversing with some of my new buddies, which is just so cool.  I rarely have real time interaction on Twitter.  🙂

I’m really looking forward to future events!  This is the start of something beautiful.  😛

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