((little fat notebook))

Cosmopolite

laelene Post in general blog，Tags: childhood, future, goals, identity, memories, pictures, social media

25 May 2009

Today I got followed by @nanyate on Twitter and I was intrigued enough to go to her blog because of an offer for free SoyJoy for your office! Turns out she’s one of five bloggers competing at SoyJoy‘s GI Joy challenge. I’ll admit, I was tempted by her offer of a free customized WordPress theme! Nonetheless, I love to help people out, so I went to vote for her and posted on Twitter about it. The person who helps her generate the most votes will earn her prize. I don’t know how she can track it, but hey, no harm in trying, right? So everyone, go vote for her! Her name is Ivy and she’s the girl shown doing the half squat that the SoyJoy commercials have been using.

Ok, now that the backstory is out of the way, let me get to the point. I am a huge fan of “about” pages, so of course, what else did I do after being entertained by the SoyJoy challenge she wrote about but go check her story out? Turns out she has a fabulously-written and immensely cute section dedicated to who she is. Not only do you get the basics of her life like her educational background, but she also has five “Ivy the _____” sections detailing herself in different roles. It was from here that I learned of this term third culture kid, which apparently means someone who moved abroad with their parents and took both their culture of origin and their culture of assimilation to create a kind of mesh of cultures, or a third culture. As such, they tend to consider themselves more of citizens of the world than of any particular country. As I was reading through the description, I kept thinking to myself, “Gosh, that sounds like my life.” Yet, I felt like something was off and that I shouldn’t fit the bill, even though I moved with my parents and my culture is very much a confused mix of both cultural influences.

chinese and american passports side by side

Adopting both cultures.

Initially, I thought that maybe it was because these people moved later in life, like after they had started school in their birth country, but from the description, plenty of people could have moved as toddlers and still be considered TCKs. So why, then did I feel like I shouldn’t belong? Well, it turns out that I came across one line that made is all clear to me: “TCKs are distinguished from other immigrants by the fact that TCKs do not expect to settle down permanently in the places where they live.” Ah ha! I knew there was a tangible difference in being a first/second generation American and being a TCK! And it’s a critical difference – I plan on spending the rest of my life with my home base in my adopted country whereas they plan on returning to their country of origin, so their immigration is always temporary, transient. So in the end, I am an immigrant but they are essentially visitors, passing through (even if that takes many years). We’ll both adopt certain parts of the cultures that we come from and live in, but in different ways and for different purposes.

Well, in reading about all of that, it led me to the idea of being a cosmopolite – someone who is cosmopolitan. I’ve never really paid attention to the word, probably because of the magazine that takes its name, which I find to be too focused on looks and being superficial. I never thought of it as a useful way to convey being “at home in all parts of the world,” so I guess it was meant for the meaning of “conversant with many spheres of interest.” Mostly I think they were just going with the image of being “sophisticated and cultured” without actually really going for a well-traveled woman. Whatever the case, this is the first time I’ve actually given a second thought to the term and I find that I connect with the description quite well (except for the sophisticated part, perhaps… I don’t know if I can claim that much). I feel like I am made up of many components from around the world, can feel comfortable in all parts of the world, and can connect with many spheres of interest. This is exactly the look and feel I was going for in my most recent LiveJournal blog – a jetsetter who is elegant and sophisticated. Well-cultured, well-mannered, and well-read. So thank you Ivy for leading me to give this term a chance, this word that so describes what I’m striving for.

Haircut

laelene Post in general blog，Tags: childhood, experiences, memories, opinion, pictures, work

24 May 2009

I made my resolve to go get a haircut today, after meaning to get a trim for a few weeks now. Whenever I think of hair, I remember reading somewhere about how a girl got rid of her flowing locks and let go of so many of her burdens. I feel like I’m starting a new phase in my life whenever I change my hair, especially when it becomes noticeably lighter. It’s a powerful metaphor to me – that head of hair, which has been protecting and covering all your thoughts, filtering them, and no doubt catching many in their web, releases its hold and allows you to be free of your burdens. Hair also moves around so much more freely when it’s lighter, allowing changes, occasionally getting caught up in a breeze and floating in ways it couldn’t when it was longer. Kind of like my life now. Similarly, my emotions can be filtered, with the negative ones falling to the floor as they are snipped off and the positive ones remain rooted to my head.

It was getting longer than it's been in a many years.

Maybe I’m taking the metaphor a bit far, but seriously, who doesn’t feel a bit liberated with each haircut? Whether it’s guys who can once again feel the breeze against their scalp or girls who have happily gotten rid of those split ends, you feel lighter not only because you literally are, but also because there’s a certain mental lift that accompanies a good haircut. It’s like when you first put in a new prescription for your contacts and suddenly the slightest rustle in the trees becomes obvious to you. You’re more attuned to the world, noticing more, sensing more. It’s enough to make the world look better. At least that’s how I feel after each haircut, good or bad. I’m not picky with how my hair looks as long as it’s not too short, so a haircut is always a positive experience for me and it really helps to imagine anything I’m not happy with being washed and snipped away. Afterward, I’m ready to start anew.

I really like this idea of reshaping by cutting away the excess. It’s a similar mentality for being green, which is definitely a prominent passion of mine that I have been developing more and more as of late. I’ve also always loved to cut things, which is why paper cutting class at Chinese school was a great time for me. I’m not hugely talented, but I can make some really nice flowers and snowflakes by snipping away randomly. It’s intuitive to me and rewarding to share with others, who always admire my work. I even won an art contest at Chinese school for it, despite all the paintings and sculptures that they went up against. I wish I was as good at cutting hair, but the one thing I do like the way I approach my hair is that I’m not afraid to mess it up. It’s been too many times that I’ve tried to give myself bangs only to have some awkward short hairs sticking out, refusing to be tamed. But, it’s never much of a problem (the beauty of hair!) because it grows out soon enough, most people hardly even notice, and hair has this magical property of just falling into place to hide minor errors. And that’s why I’m always ready for a new trim!

Chop chop chop.

The past week or so has really been a turning point for me, as I try to change my behavior to be more vibrant, more proactive, more involved, and more active. I talk more, asked for new work to do when I came to a lull, went out to meet some new people, and have started to plan my time better here in terms of how I will take advantage of the fact that I’m in Singapore! I’m hoping inertia kicks in and that I will just keep on moving like this, because it’s refreshing. I may not always be comfortable and I may want to revert to reflection and internalizing, so it will be a constant effort to not give in to that. I’m looking forward to the new view I’m getting on things and really trying to figure what direction I can go in to pursue my passions, dreams, and fantasies. To commemorate all this change and a look in a new direction, it’s only fitting to make a change with my hair. It’s the fastest and easiest to make a semi-permanent change to your daily look. I suppose I could get some new clothes, put on more makeup, or try colored contacts, but those changes are more transient and don’t reflect a new phase the way a haircut can. In a way, this is my form of self-expression and I love it.

Amazing Race: final thoughts

laelene Post in general blog，Tags: amazing race, goals, katana, language, llama, memories, passion, philosopher, pictures, relationships, tammy jih, victor jih

23 May 2009

Ok, I can’t help it. I don’t like to post two things in a row that are too similar, but I just finished watching Amazing Race and there are so many thoughts going through my head! Like I remembered that yesterday I forgot to mention the language barriers that you deal with when you are in a foreign country. Also, some of the later episodes in China made me look at my own Chinese language skills as compared to Tammy and Victor Jih’s. And then of course, I’ve been imagining in my head who I could do it with and how we would approach it. I can’t even sort out all the random thoughts I’ve had while watching this latest season! I wonder what the other seasons are like and how many more they’re going to have…

Excuse me? What did you say?

To start off with, let me revisit my own experiences in traveling around Europe and the language barriers it presented. At the very beginning, when I showed up at my new flat in England excited for a year studying abroad, I ran into some trouble. NEVER did I think I wouldn’t be able to understand the British! Yet, amazingly, I found myself seated with my flatmates around the kitchen table that night, bewildered at how I could hardly identify what they were speaking as English. Only Llama had what you would consider a “proper” British accent (aka BBC newsworthy). Everyone else’s accents ranged from the Yorkshire boys’ to the London girl’s. Now that’s one thing you don’t really hear about – that they have huge differences in regional accents! They’re nearly their own dialects. Thankfully, a few hours of listening to them and I started to understand the patterns and process what they were saying.

But then came the true test during that 5-week spring break (or Easter vacation, as they consider it) when I went traipsing around the rest of Europe. Though many countries spoke English to some degree, there was a lot of gesturing, pointing on maps, writing out names, and general confusion. Luckily, I could usually get a map in each place, so at least I didn’t have to try to butcher the pronunciations of the places I was trying to get to. It was also useful to have my basic knowledge of French, which helped a bit with Spanish, Portuguese, and Italian as well. However, visuals and physical interaction are usually your best friends in this case. I always thought it’s funny how people still talk out loud in their own language, even when the other party is not understanding a word of it. It’s useful though – sometimes the intonation can clue you in or a word will pop out at you. I find interacting with those who don’t understand you a most interesting challenge.

The complete opposite also happened to me on a train ride from Italy to Hungary, going through countries like Croatia and Slovenia. I was in a room with three other people and they each spoke three, four, and five languages. The only common one we had was English, so they tried to stick to that, but at points they’d slip into some Italian or German before remembering me and coming back to English. Sigh. I wish I was multilingual like that! One of my neverending goals it to retain my Chinese, but also to regain my French skills that have been lost over the years in college. I’d like to see the day when I can claim I’m trilingual at least. Oh, and I want to learn Cantonese as well, which Panda can start teaching me. I’m scared of the pronunciations though. We’ll have to see when I make the time for these ambitions!

Hey, I've been there too!

As for the language skills I do have, they’re patchy. Though my Mandarin accent is near perfect and very standard (aka China newsworthy), my reading skills are quite lacking. I don’t know if I would have been able to read all the characters in the calligraphy that they did, though the dish names would have been easy for me to pronounce, whether or not I was able to figure out what they translated to. I think speech-wise, Tammy and Victor’s diction was a bit stiff and sounded foreign. This happens a lot with people who learn the language by the book – they never really pick up on slang terms or colloquialisms. Oh, and those translations for what they were saying… who did them?! Sometimes it was completely off, though it didn’t really affect the main idea of what was going on. However, their reading skills seemed a little better than mine (though I don’t know if they were told the words first or just read them themselves, since the calligraphers they were talking to seemed to have said what they were writing). All in all I think I’d do similarly to the Jihs in our motherland.

Forget just seeing the Bird's Nest - how about being in it?

Finally, I kept imagining myself with Panda and how we’d deal with it, but I don’t know how plausible that would actually be. I’m considering applying just to see if we can get through, but I have a media angle on us that I want to wait on. Plus, he’d need to get out of school first and have the flexibility to be able to go on the show. I can’t imagine him taking a quarter off to do something like this and you certainly can’t take three/four weeks off in a quarter system and catch up in a class! Let’s hope the show lasts quite a long time! Yes, I’m actually seriously considering this. No harm in trying, right? And though I was worried about opportunities to enjoy the cities during the race, I figure if you can win it you can always go back! I know I’m dreaming big here, but it’s something I can fantasize about and look forward to, whether or not we actually do try someday. However, in thinking of this and how we would face challenges involving our fears or dislikes, I worry about our ability to overcome and try. It looks a lot easier when someone else does it, but I guess being in the right mentality during the game kind of gets you to do whatever you need to fight to the finish. Does Panda have that competitive spirit? I’m not sure this is his sort of adventure.

Grr I am strong too!

So, then I started to think, who else could I do it with? And you know what, I began to entertain the thought of trying out with my best friend, Katana. She’s athletic, well-traveled, and super competitive. Whereas I would definitely lead a lot with Panda, partly because I am more aggressive and partly because I am in more familiar territory than he, with Katana I’m not sure how things would play out. Though I’m generally a peacekeeper, that would more of show in the way I’d interact with other teams. However, in the way that I’d approach the game, Katana and I might have some serious headbutts to contend with when I chose to assert myself. Otherwise, she’s the more aggressive and assertive out of the two of us, hands down. We’d have an advantage because of our experiences abroad and our comfort in traveling. Plus, if I do commit to trying out, I’d be sure to start preparing my body for it, getting back in the pool regularly and returning to my track and field days as well. Gosh, I’m really starting to dream with this one. So what say you, Katana? Season 16? (They’ve already held interviews and such for the upcoming 15th season.) We’ve still got a shot at being the first female duo to take it away!

Amazing Race: some observations

laelene Post in general blog，Tags: amazing race, europe, house, lie to me, memories, panda, passion, pictures, relationships, tammy jih, travel, victor jih

22 May 2009

photo credit: gearlive.com

When I went online today to try to find new episodes of the shows I started to follow recently, I found that apparently the seasons have ended. I guess that makes sense in retrospect, seeing how dramatic the finale for House was, but I guess I didn’t quite see it for Lie to Me. Well, once I found out, I tried to figure out when the next seasons start, but I guess they don’t tell you that. Perhaps people who watch TV just know this, just like any schoolchild can tell you what month they start school. Unfortunately, that is not knowledge I have had since sometime in middle school, so I’m quite out of the loop. Thus, in an effort to do an activity that doesn’t require much out of me but is still relatively engaging, I thought I’d check out the latest season of the Amazing Race, which I have read about when Tammy and Victor won as the first Asian-American team.

What struck me was the relationships, the unpredictability, and the rush and intensity of it all. First and most importantly, any sort of show like this that challenges people to work together under high stress situations tells you a lot about their personalities and relationship. You watch as they get frustrated with what is going on and some people blame themselves, some people blame others, while some people will blame the situation itself. And in terms of dealing with that stress, there are those who lash out at their partner, those who get upset with themselves, and those who are impatient or even rude to the locals. It’s interesting to see the different coping mechanisms that come into play when these people are under stress. Certainly anyone would start to crack and show their faults and again and again I would see power struggles within the teams, with one partner trying to be more dominant. Usually this was because of their personal relationship as family or significant others. It seemed to happen less so with the teams that were coworkers and friends.

photo credit: abovethelaw.com

Observing all of that made me evaluate myself and how I would behave under those circumstances. I think I’d want to be the dominant one and would in turn be the one dishing out more criticism. Of course, all of imagination towards how I could compete is in the scenario in which I would go with Panda. So I’m thinking of the dynamics of our relationship, where I assert myself far more and tend to be more expressive when it comes to sharing my feelings and gripes. So for me, the hardest thing would be to let go and not always control, but step back and let him do his thing. The good thing with us is that whenever we get into a disagreement, at the bottom of it we both just want things to go well. And though we’ll misunderstand each other, we’re both working hard to make things better, in our own ways. As for how I’d treat the people along the way, I know I’d thank them a lot for their help, but I don’t know if I’d get exasperated when the communication barriers get in the way and delay things. I can be impatient and demanding, and I may not always be able to be the gracious person I’d like to be. I’m still working on that. Don’t shows like this make you reevaluate yourself and your life too?

Secondly, there was the unpredictability of the situation. Until the moment you step on that mat and hear you’ve been eliminated, there’s nearly always hope. Time and again teams have yo-yoed from leading to lagging and back again and oftentimes they get back on an even playing field due to travel restrictions. Plus, you never know exactly what’s going on with all the other teams, so even though you may have a good idea, something unexpected could have gotten in the way. It’s a huge lesson in hope that I think people need to grasp better. It’s too often that I see expressions of defeat and despair that end up in glee and joy when they discover that things weren’t as bad as they thought. At the same time, there are great examples of people who don’t give up and fight to the last bit, no matter how badly off course they get. That’s the beauty of it – this fighting courage that they get when it comes down to the wire.

Sometimes you just gotta go for it.

Similarly, in life, so many people say negative things about what they think can’t happen only to be proven wrong. I know I hold myself back a lot because I’m afraid of venturing out to be wrong. However, everywhere you read, the most common thing that self-made successful people share is a certain level of bravery in taking risks and trying. This is a topic addressed often in entrepreneurship. If you want to do something and make something of yourself, you need to go out and attempt all kinds of crazy ideas. Sure, lots of things will fall flat and you’ll probably get shot down more than you’d ever care for, but then you just have to pick yourselves up and keep going, taking what you’ve learned from each lesson to build on to your repertoire of knowledge. I want to be like that since I want to be an entrepreneur and I hope shows like this are encouraging more people to act like that as well.

Finally, the intensity of the race and the pace that it goes at (which I’m sure is highly misrepresented in the show) is astonishing sometimes. The one thing I don’t like about this premise is that people rush through these countries so quickly that they only get a glimpse of what things are like there. It’s not true travel and tourism in the way that I value it. So it makes me wonder how much down time they get and if they even have time to go check out some things they may have wanted to. I think the worst thing would be to finally go to a place you’ve been dreaming of only to run around like maniacs trying to track down the right clues. For their sake, I hope they get to do some of their own traveling, though it doesn’t really look like it. I’m sure everyone is so focused on conserving their energy for the race and preparing themselves to take on challenges that they probably aren’t even in the right mindset to truly enjoy the cities they pass through. It’s the one big downside I see to this great big game.

Me and my bags, dragged all around Europe.

Though granted, I started to get nostalgic for my travels through Europe, like the 5 weeks I spent gallavanting around from Portugal to Hungary, Greece to Sweden, spanning 21 cities. It was a similar mad rush, with me averaging 1.5 days per city, including travel time. I had a basic plan that changed a few times depending on when I could catch trains, if I could book hostels, and where I felt like going next. There’s a beauty and freedom in that kind of travel, where you only really know where you’re going to be in the next two days, but no more. I had similar frustrations with missing trains, running with a rucksack on my back while dragging a suitcase behind me, and getting lost or stranded. Additionally, I had to deal with extra fees when my luggage got too heavy for the small, cheap airlines that fly around locally. The moment I arrived into a city, I’d get a map, go online, and find all the historical landmarks, museums, and other tourist attractions I was interested in visiting. From there I’d map out my plan of action and go from there. It was 5 full weeks of banking it from one place to another, trying out all kinds of cuisine I could find, and still managing to enjoy some hotspots and take a breather. It was quite fun to travel like that and I miss it, though I do plan on going back to see things more in depth in the future and spend some time getting more immersed in the cultural feel.

So all in all, it was a very reflective experience that allowed me to think about my own life. Which I think we should always be doing. 🙂

Tweetup!

laelene Post in general blog，Tags: experiences, pictures, singapore, storytelling, technology, tweetup

21 May 2009

Everyone having fun, of course.

Today I attended my very first Tweetup and met a really nice group of people, thanks to @inrsoul! It was a really nice experience, to meet up with a bunch of strangers, yet feel so comfortable hanging out. I’m thrilled about this chance to get out and mingle with people I otherwise would not know. After all, I’ve been a bum lately, doing nothing more than going to work, eating, and going home for the night. I didn’t even step outside at all this weekend! So, to counteract that, this was the perfect opportunity that I spotted by chance last night when I decided that a day away from Twitter should be somewhat made up for. As I was going through tweets of the day, I came across the one that led me to the #SGTweetUp and how fortunate that was.

Seriously guys, whose balls were these?

So at the actual event, it was really nice that inrsoul knew who I was the moment I stepped in and greeted me by name. Then, he introduced me to some of the people there and found a place for me to settle amongst them. He chose a great venue in Zsofi’s Tapas Bar, because the upstairs portion is no shoes and has low cushions, pillows strewn along the walls, and ambient lighting. A great casual setting for us to mingle, drink, and eat comfortably. I sat down and started to chat with the people next to me, which provided a lot of different conversations. I went on to spend a good 4 hours interacting with a variety of people, though it seems most are in advertising/marketing or technology. I think it’s so cool that they’re doing things like designing apps for the iPhone, selling iPhones (and all Apple products), doing Forex trading, going to exclusive events for bloggers, and working on social media plans.

Good food, good drinks, good company.

I moved around a bit throughout the night, getting to know different people, with conversations ranging from loud and exuberant to solemn and thoughtful. There were times I talked until my throat went sore and other times I just sat and listened. We had lulls here and there, but before long, someone would come up with another topic and we’d keep going. It wasn’t until I realized that it was nearly 11 already that I was reminded of going back. I didn’t want to miss the last train and bus home, so I left soon after checking my watch to find that it was already so late! On the ride home, I was quite pleased with the night and sent out a tweet via text to thank inrsoul for making it happen. Once I got back, I found some messages and new followers waiting for me already! I’ve spent the past two hours conversing with some of my new buddies, which is just so cool. I rarely have real time interaction on Twitter. 🙂

I’m really looking forward to future events! This is the start of something beautiful. 😛

Perfect Organics Lip Balm

laelene Post in general blog，Tags: alice, contests, giveaways, green, opinion, organic, products

20 May 2009

photo credit: Perfect Organics

I am absolutely loving Alice.com‘s giveaways. I mentioned the site before on a previous product they were giving away, which I actually won, so I’m thrilled to try it out. Now they’re on to their next one (gosh, who knew they’d be so generous?) and I want to win again! This time it’s another wonderful product (though I must admit I’d say that for all their items, since it seems they are all environmentally responsible) – Perfect Organics Shea Butter Lip Balm!!! There are three flavors: Citrus Orange, Vanilla Twist, and Fresh Mint.

My preference is for the light, refreshing Citrus Orange, which also fits perfectly with their springtime theme. And take a look at their ingredients for that flavor: Organic Shea Butter, Organic Sweet Almond Oil, Organic Hazelnut Oil, Organic Jojoba Oil, Organic Orange Essential Oil, and Non-GMO Vitamin E. Seriously, that’s just amazing. I’m really loving this company and all that it has to offer. I’d love to see how such an organic product compares with the other stuff in the market. I can just imagine how the crisp smell will liven up my day whenever I open up the lip balm for some serious moisturizing. I sure hope I’m that lucky again! 🙂

Well, for this one they’re asking what springtime beauty rituals I have. Being a person who doesn’t use makeup as much as possible and pretty much sticks to some foundation and mascara, there’s not much I change seasonally in terms of beauty. However, I find that spring makes me want to feel clean and fresh, so I wish my skin was better and I didn’t use anything to try to even out the blemishes. I guess the one thing I do do is become more conscious of is lotioning, since the shorts don’t hide your dry legs and kneecaps quite like a trusty pair of jeans! I’m not sure if that is considered “beauty” so much as general maintenance, but it does have to do with bringing out the springwear!

So if you’re ready for spring to get into full swing, why wait? Go check out this awesome giveaway and we can both have luscious lips.

Taste and smell, poor overlooked senses

laelene Post in general blog，Tags: memories, observation, opinion, pictures, work

20 May 2009

Oh yes, the smell is only the beginning...

As I was doing research today about learning methods and styles, it occurred to me that again and again people would mention visuals, sounds, and physically doing to learn. It could range from seeing a chart or drawing a picture to hearing a speech or talking to yourself, but never once did the sense of taste or smell get brought up. I guess it’s because people can’t really fathom eating an apple and remembering a piece of knowledge, or suddenly remembering a fact or equation from smelling a certain flower. So I’d like to ask, why not? Tastes and smells are just as evocative as the other senses and often a particular scent can trigger far more vivid and emotional memories than any other form of primer. And because of that, it can greatly affect our mood, whether we realize it or not. As for taste, doesn’t just the thought of something succulent make you salivate? And if you’re reacting so strongly physically, surely a specific memory can be conditioned to be associated with a taste.

When thinking about this, I suddenly had this vision of using these strong triggers to enhance learning. Imagine walking into a final and smelling the must of the seat, which reminds you of the answer for that question on neural circuits. Then the person next to you, who always sits next to you, moves and wafts some of his cologne at you, which triggers a memory to that question about the frontal lobe’s functions. Your hand starts to get tired from writing and you reach into your bag for your lotion to help relax your muscles a bit and that scent brings up memories of that lecture on how the two hemispheres differ. Next you reach for your water, which has just a hint of sweet that helps you recall how male and female brains are activated differently in doing tasks. Finally, you pop a few jelly beans in your mouth for a pick-me-up before lunch and that leads you to the answer for the last question. You then check over your answers, pleased, and go turn in your exam.

Not being able to taste this anymore?! Noooo...

Unfortunately, the above scenario is not plausible, since it is far more difficult to incorporate tastes and smells into learning. Because in the end, you taste and smell so many arbitrary things that you can hardly control what you do come into contact with during a test or otherwise, when you’re trying to evoke a memory. However, sight and sound are easier to replicate anywhere, anytime. Additionally, we can reenact scenes by will (even if it’s not that well) just by using our imaginations. I guess that’s what makes seeing and hearing things such common memory aid techniques – they lend themselves to creation on demand. However, who can make themselves smell or taste something? It’s pretty much limited to your own body odor (if you can even smell that… we’re so well conditioned to our own smell we mostly don’t) and maybe some bile. Even then, it takes a lot of effort for a not very pleasant sensation.

Additionally, these two senses are less commonly lost than sight or hearing, so they’re more taken for granted. When they are lost, it can really affect your mood negatively. In fact, it’s been found that people who are depressed have a duller sense of smell (this is the opposite effect, but you can see there’s a correlation here). Can you imagine never tasting food again? Never smelling it? That would be terrible. People often don’t realize how strongly smells affect our perception of taste, so losing either would be quite miserable. Hmm seems like there’s a huge connection to food and its enjoyment here. But really, these are important senses that protect you not from predators, but from those nasty poisonous foods and substances! If you couldn’t taste or smell, you’d need a taste tester to make sure your food wasn’t spoiled or toxic. In an evolutionary sense, what use is it to see and hear predators coming if you just ate a deadly plant and essentially killed yourself?

Yeah, I know, really random thoughts. Seriously though, value all the senses you have and relish in what joy they can bring you. Oh, and this subject reminds me of the Jorvik Viking Centre in York, which uses scents during its ride/tour to give you a better idea of what life was like back then.

eBay: trustworthy?

laelene Post in general blog，Tags: ebay, experiences, ipod touch, los angeles, mommy, observation, opinion, pictures, singapore, technology

19 May 2009

photo credit: quickshipelectronics

Earlier today I claimed myself an iPod Touch online through eBay, which I’m immensely excited to have. I’ve been watching some of their sales on the site for a few days to see the average price they go for and decided that it was well worth it. I just hope I’m in the 99.8% positive review side of things, or else it can get complicated and ugly dealing with it overseas. Thankfully, I have my mom to handle things on the home front, so she can help check the item before sending it to me. In doing this whole transaction (only the second time I’ve used the site), I found that people I told all asked me the same questions, having the same concerns.

First of all, they asked about price. Was the difference in price enough to justify the purchase versus buying it from a store? Well, it’s a $100 difference, which in the Apple store also means the difference between a 16GB and a 32GB. Plus, they would wonder… is it new? Well, no, it’s refurbished, but it would only have minor scuffs and I’m willing to compromise that for the money saved. If it’s extremely worn or dysfunctional, I can always send it in to be exchanged.

Then they would ask, is it safe? Is it reliable? And that launched me into an explanation about how yes, there is the off chance that I get screwed, but 1. being governed by American law, they can’t get too crazy and send me rocks like some cases in other countries, 2. they have sold over 57,000 electronic items and people would have reported them a long time ago, and 3. not only were they not reported, but they have a 99.8% positive feedback rate, which is quite high considering the bulk of sales. I read reviews where people talking about their item that was faulty or incorrect and they got the issue resolved, so at worst it may be a bit of a hassle, but I can track down a suitable item.

Finally, they would start to settle their worries and would then wonder… uhhh how are you going to get it? Well, that’s the beauty of a mother in the right country. 😛 She helped me bid on it as I slept and she’ll help me mail it out when it arrives. I’m quite pleased, since any Apple product sold internationally is dead expensive (in Singapore the 32GB goes for about 468 USD, whereas in the states it’s a cool $399)! I may not have gotten the absolute best price, but it was close and still saved me tons for what I wanted. Plus, I got it pretty much the day I decided I was going to go for it. But it made me wonder: do people feel wary of using eBay?

Lost in a sea

laelene Post in general blog, relationships，Tags: experiences, future, goals, los angeles, marylin, observation, panda, pictures, relationships, starfish, work

18 May 2009

You know when you stick your head in the clouds and get lost there? Then reality hits hard and you don’t know what to do. Well, it’s not so dramatic for me, but today was very insightful and may lead to some drastic changes in how I thought things would be. Ever since I decided to come to Singapore, with so much hope and optimism, I have set my mind on one goal: starting an enterprise with Marylin in LA. In coming here to immerse myself, I was going to learn what I could and take that back with me to help me build something that would eventually bring her over as well. Even though I knew it wouldn’t be that easy, we had high expectations and lofty goals. And there we were, floating, with me taking a wonderful ride on Marylin’s typical train of daydreamy thoughts. For awhile, we dreamt together, of what we could make of ourselves over there.

Feeling a little lost?

Then, with months of the real thing, we’ve found that it’s not so easy to work together, live together. At one point we even joked about how it would be like we’re dating. And truly, I feel that it would benefit us to treat it as such. At least if I communicated with her the way that I communicate with Panda, things wouldn’t have gotten to this point. Alas, when there’s no romantic affection it’s just not the same. Part of it is that we were still in the honeymoon part of our friendship, where everything was flowery and beautiful. Now that we’ve spent so much time in close quarters, it’s getting to the point where things have lost their glow and we must face up to the challenges that are bound to occur in any relationship. But of course, me being the type of person I am, everything just gets bottled up and though I’ve mentioned it here and there, it’s never really been addressed.

And so, I slowly started to notice the rift that was growing between us. There was not so much hostility as rigid civility. Not being much of a talker in the morning when we’re going to or arriving at work, I didn’t really mind. I’m not a morning person at all, so all the exertion in the morning would be bound to wear me out. It was only more recently that I started to notice we didn’t have much to say to each other at all, ever. Part of that was due to the sudden divergence in projects that we were working on, but much of it really came down to that divide that had developed. Additionally, we’d go our separate ways at night, only seeing each other again many hours later, as we were winding down for the day and getting ready to crash for the night.

When I concentrate on something, I really like to give it my all, because it’s not often that I can get into the right groove at the right time. I get distracted easily, from the music that is played to the comings and goings of other people. So, when I’m in the middle of something and Marylin gets back, I like to keep that focus. And by the time I’m ready to ask her how her night was, she’s already on her laptop or out chatting with her parents. I tend to miss the boat a lot. There was one precious night recently that she came home very pleased with dinner and we had a warm exchange about that. But other than that, at night we just don’t talk, because there’s so much going on in the cyber world that it’s hard to keep up. Then of course, I also spend a lot of my time talking to Panda because whenever I see him, my mood brightens (and who doesn’t want that?).

So there’s definitely been some strain on our interactions, where we chose to avoid each other. Though there have been many a moment that I tried to convince myself to approach her to say, “Hey, we need to talk,” I always talk myself out of it. I just keep internalizing everything I think and feel. Well, today I was having a chat with Starfish and she brought up how people have noticed the change. That opened up the doors for me to share some of what I’ve been feeling. She had apparently already heard from Marylin on the issue, so we were brought together to discuss. From that, I know I’ve got a lot to work on in my… “areas of improvement.” I have certainly not been the person I am capable of being while here and I’m still trying to figure out why. So we aired out some of our grievances and got a chance to hear how our respective behaviors have been affecting each other. Mostly we need to communicate more (and more openly), but, BUT, we also need to figure out if we have a common goal anymore.

It looks like plans may be changing yet again, which is not wholly unexpected, but I got so focused on the goal, that dream that was just out of my grasp, that I didn’t stop to think too much. Ironic, since I tend to think too much. But this was something I was doggedly pursuing in my hopes. Forget all practicalities. It was something I embedded into my mind and framed everything I did here in the context of. I evaluated every single task based on how I could do it in LA, how I could make it work in a city like that. It’s reminiscent of my younger days, when I decided I was going to be a businesswoman and get an MBA. “But what are you going to study in college?” people would ask. Oh. Right… I had inadvertently skipped a step in my lofty ideals, forgetting that detail. That you can’t get a Master’s without a Bachelor’s. So then I set out to plan my college career and I guess I thought that this would work the same: have a destination, then figure out the details.

However, setting up a business (or even an extension or a branch of it) is far less straightforward than choosing majors. It’s even more complicated when it’s overseas, you’re alone, and there’s a huge time difference. So what now? I don’t know. It’s time to look closely at my fantasy and let it fade away to some sort of a reality. I’m confused, but I know this much – I’m staying here for the rest of the duration to continue learning (and work on getting more involved in everything). I’m not a risk-taker when it comes to my professional life when I should be, or at least more of one. After all, what great entrepreneurs didn’t take risks, didn’t stumble, didn’t fall? Though I know all this in my heart, it’s still hard to convince my logical brain that it’s worth all the struggle. And really, I just don’t want to have to live off my parents, so they can do what they want with their money and not worry about still supporting me. Maybe I will need to for awhile, to find my footing and understand what it is that I want from this life.

Eurovision

laelene Post in general blog，Tags: activist, england, eurovision, llama, storytelling

17 May 2009

Another year and another Eurovision has gone by. It’s been two years since I was first introduced to this European contest and it still holds fond memories. My flatmate Llama was obsessed with it (as well as A ny Dream Will Do) and insisted that we have a little party in her room to watch. And so, we gathered our blankets and pillows, brought tons of snacks, and sat down to watch the finalists perform their songs for their respective countries. Some of the performances were very cheesy, some were cheery, and some were angsty. All in all it was a great time though, just us friends enjoying it together, happily munching away all the while. What more could you ask for?

This year, as with last, the contest has flown by me and I didn’t get a chance to watch it. I feel like it’s one of those things you can only really enjoy with people who understand what it is. Much like watching the Super Bowl with my British classmates is just not the same. You don’t get into the right mindset, complete with random silly traditions. And thus, I’ve never felt compelled to watch it again, though I do make a note of when it happens. The year that I watched, Serbia won, though my favorite song was the angsty one I alluded to earlier, submitted by Finland. Greece had a perky one that is quite fun to listen to and Britain had a super cheesy one that was also quite naughty.

Each year, whichever country wins traditionally hosts the next year’s event, so judging by this year’s Moscow location, Russia must have won in 2008. It’s quite cool how this event unites so many countries, yet at the same time, it is laced with politics. Another flatmate of mine, Activist, said he loves to watch Eurovision just to see how political relationships between countries are, since the voting largely reflects that (each country casts their vote, only restricted from voting for themselves, so you can imagine the types of alliances that can come of this). There have been a lot of changes to how the voting mechanism works, from jury voting to public voting to some sort of hybrid in between. I don’t know if they can ever settle on something that everyone agrees on, but every year the competition goes on.

In a sense, Eurovision was the original “Idol” type show, except it was more for country pride and international interaction than personal advancement. However, there have been some notables to come from the contest over the years, including ABBA and Celine Dion. And of course, contestants don’t vote amongst themselves, but are at the mercy of their country when it comes to these smaller scale (in the sense of individuals against each other rather than countries – the audience reach certainly isn’t small) shows. Think of it as a European musical Olympics of sorts.

If I ever am back in England during this time of year, I’ll make sure I find some old friends and catch the upcoming Eurovision broadcast. Until then, I’ll think back on those lovely days in my flat, having slumber parties and pigging out as we enjoyed each other’s company. Ah, those were the days.

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